by J. L. Weil
Seething and hurting, I stormed off before I let my emotions get the best of me. I didn’t need Dash Darhk. I didn’t want Dash Darhk. He could fall off the face of the earth, and I wouldn’t care.
It was safe to say there would be little conversation between us. He wanted me to separate my feelings. Fine. I turned the lock and threw out the key. In the distance, lightning cracked across the sky.
Great. Just great.
I stumbled once or twice on the uneven ground, tears blurring my eyes. Shit. I was doing the very thing I said I wouldn’t: cry.
Just keep moving.
Dash yelled my name, but his voice was drowned out by another round of thunder and lightning as it whipped across the sky. My hands curled into fists. If he caught up to me, there was a good chance I’d hit him.
For the well-being of his health, he didn’t follow me as I traipsed off to nowhere in particular, just away. I wanted to be free of him, to take a minute to gain control of what was churning inside me. I picked up my pace until I was almost running. It didn’t matter that the wind had kicked up and I was slapped with tree branches; I didn’t feel the sting.
That was the problem.
I felt nothing. Numb. Raw. Alone.
My eyes were glassy with tears. What I wouldn’t do to see my mom right now. She might not have always been the most affectionate mother, but in her own way, she’d loved me. And I could really use a shoulder to cry on, but that would have been my little sister Monroe’s shoulder. We’d been closer than thieves, and I missed her something terrible.
I continued to run, dodging trees and zigzagging over the hilly terrain, until I could no longer hear the rushing of water. When I slowed down, I began to realize how foolish it had been to have taken off on my own, and as I glanced around, I was no longer angry at Dash … but myself.
Hugging my arms around my middle, a chill had settled in my blood, cooling the flush of anger. A section of my brain told me I should be terrified, however the other part knew if I stayed here at this spot, Dash would eventually find me.
He always did. And I was counting on him to continue being my guardian. There were many things we might not agree on, and we might never see eye to eye, but Dash never let me down when it mattered most … except with elements of the heart.
But as I sat on the edge of a bluff with the wind rushing over my face, I told myself not to think about the pain slicing through my heart or what it meant. I mean, how could I possibly have such strong feelings for a guy I’d only met a little more than a week ago? It wasn’t rational. I wasn’t a fanciful girl. I didn’t believe in love at first sight. Lust, sure, but not love. It was too soon to throw such a word around, but I couldn’t say that the emotional roller coaster Dash put me on wasn’t powerful.
Who knew? Maybe it was part of this screwed-up world, aftereffects of being exposed to the mist, being drugged for a century, or being mutated. Take your pick.
Getting out of my head, I took in my surroundings, seeing what lay ahead of us. I already knew what we had left behind. The river had taken us out of the Badlands and tossed us somewhere in between the mountains and the desert. I could see both of them on either side of me, and in the middle stood a series of towers, glistening like crystals in a patch of sunlight, tall and spellbinding.
Diamond Towers. The heart of the Institute.
It lived up to its name.
I gazed at the city below, half-hypnotized, and was transported to a different world, one very unlike what I’d grown accustomed to. What I’d seen of Starling Heights paled in comparison to Diamond Towers. It was a fortress, and as I gawked at its sheer mass, my curiosity piqued. A wall of white stone surrounded the perimeter with defense towers placed every so often, providing eyes from all angles. The guard towers were several feet taller than the already high wall. From my position, I was able to see down into the city. The towers were at the hub, surrounded by a community.
In the distance, rough mountains peaked below puffy, white clouds. Mist gathered midway, making a section of the mountain disappear. Thick fog spread out around the outside of Diamond Towers, swirling toward the jagged rocks. Sunlight glinted along the edges, and dark shadows formed beyond the mountains.
I rested my chin on my knees. That was where we were going—away from the bright glowing light of the city, and toward the darkness.
Chapter 15
My mind rebelled at the idea. It was instinctual to move toward the light and run from the darkness, but I had to find my family. So if that meant I had to check my feelings for Dash and embrace the dangers of the darkness, I would do whatever it took.
A curse sounded close behind me, and I let my hair fall forward, shielding my face. Footfalls echoed, snapping a twig. It was Dash. I didn’t have to look up to see. The tingles radiating down my spine were validation enough.
When Dash took a seat beside me, my body rejoiced. I’d known he would find me, but there was always that tiny slice of doubt.
“Freckles,” he spoke softly.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to find my family,” I replied, hugging my legs tighter to my chest. I missed the sweet, unshakable love that families had for each other, the kind of love that kept me warm at night and my belly full during the day.
“We will,” he assured me with conviction.
I closed my eyes for a moment. How long had we been apart? Thirty minutes? An hour? Such a short time, yet I missed the sound of his voice as if I hadn’t heard it in days.
His shoulder lightly touched mine. “Look, I’m sorry. I swear the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
“You can take your sorry and choke on it.” Guilt arrowed through me. I hadn’t meant to snap at him, and the words had flown out of my mouth in a gut reaction. I took in an awkward breath, my defenses crumbling. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
He offered a rueful smile. “Good, because I got us dinner.”
While I’d been sulking, Dash had been hunting. The mere mention of food sent my stomach growling. Except when I saw the road kill dangling from a stick, the rumble turned to queasiness. “We’re eating that?” I shrieked.
“You’ll thank me later, once it’s cooking.”
Dash built a small fire, and he was right. The scent of grilled meat sent my stomach into a tizzy. I watched him over the flickering flames as he seared our mysterious dinner. From my pack, I dug out a bottle of water and took a sip. “What is it we’re eating?” I asked.
He turned the skewers. “Chicken.”
“You mean there are actually chickens here?” I was stunned. The mist was supposed to have mutated everything.
“No, but it helps to think of it as chicken.”
I cracked a smile.
“Friends?”
“Yeah, we’re friends,” I agreed, a wisp of a smile on my lips.
“It’s something, isn’t it?” he asked, following my gaze to Diamond Towers.
Surrounded in warmth, I nodded. “There are so many lights.”
“When I first saw it, I thought the same thing too, and for a while, I was captivated. Not everyone within the Institute is bad. There are those who truly do want to make this world a place worthy of living in again. The problem is those people didn’t wake before the circle of trustees was created.”
“Trustees?”
“Within those walls is a select group of people who govern the Heights. They were among the first to wake. Theories are it was no coincidence. They in some way were all connected in the world before. The Institute paints themselves to be the good guys, protecting the people, rebuilding the world to be a safe place, and all the while they are constructing an army of mutated humans.” He removed one of the stakes and handed it to me.
Holding it in my hand, I waited for the meat to cool before burning my lips. “And since you escaped the Institute, you’ve been looking for your family?”
“My mom and little brother.” Other than the few times I’d caught him looking at me, I hadn’
t seen affection in his eyes.
“What about your dad?”
His entire face changed, darkening, and his posture stiffened. I had touched upon one of those sore subjects Dash never wanted to talk about, and I instantly wished there was such a thing as Wite-Out for words.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry.”
“You’re not. We’re friends, remember?”
How could I forget?
“My father invented the word asshole. I don’t think there was ever a day he loved my brother or me. We spent our entire childhood avoiding him and protecting our mother, until she finally got the nerve to leave the bastard. For more than a year, I spent my nights expecting him to come kicking down the door.”
“That’s horrible.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me, Freckles. I survived. It made me a stronger person.”
It might have, and maybe that hard shell gave him an edge here in this world, but I wept inside for the little boy who never got the chance to be one, who never knew a father’s love.
Dash was more than a survivor. He was also a protector. His father’s abuse made Dash shield the weak.
I couldn’t quench the sympathy.
He ripped off a hunk of mystery meat. “What about you? Do you miss your little sister?”
“Every day. It gives me nightmares thinking of her being out there.”
His slanted eyes shot me a knowing look. “The chances of her being on her own are slim. She, like most everyone, will probably get picked up by the Night’s Guard.”
I nibbled on the meat, testing the taste, but once my stomach got wind there was food, it didn’t care what it was. “And that is an even more frightening thought. What if she is like me? What will they do to her?” I asked, taking a bigger bite from the skewer.
His gaze moved to the white city. “Then she’s gone.”
He wasn’t trying to be mean or discouraging. He was being straightforward, from personal experience, but it didn’t prevent a seed of sadness from rooting deep in my belly. “If the Institute is so horrible, why don’t more people rebel? Overpower them?”
“They’re afraid. They feel trapped. They fear for their families. Pick a reason. It doesn’t matter which. The Institute finds your weakness and exploits it.”
“It’s not fair. Haven’t we all suffered enough?” I didn’t just escape a catastrophe that wiped out the Earth only to be a puppet in a group of power-hungry control freaks.
“You’re like a rare gem. The Institute would stop at nothing to have someone with your gifts. I’ve never met someone who had more than one ability.”
“My eyes change with each one.”
He nodded.
“So if that theory is true, there is still one more I haven’t discovered.”
“Green,” he replied, nodding.
I swallowed, the meat feeling like sandpaper on my throat. “I don’t know that I want to find out,” I whispered, staring down at the half-eaten skewer.
“We need to be even more careful now that they know I’m traveling with someone and that they’ve gotten a glimpse at what you can do.”
He had only killed one of the three guards. The other two were probably squealing like pigs to whomever they reported to. “Is this going to be my life now? Running from the Institute?”
“It doesn’t have to be. You’ve seen people make lives for themselves outside of the Institute. As glitzy as Diamond Towers is from here, inside those walls, the glamour is only surface deep. Out here, it’s like a snow globe, and we’re all outside looking in, slumming it in the Heights.”
My nose wrinkled. “I get it. It’s only as good as you make it. You sound like my dad.”
Dash cracked a smile.
Night had descended. Cool moonbeams cast from the sky above, and the stars glimmered like points of ice. “The moon is out,” I said, sighing. “It looks beautiful, untouched by all the ugliness of the mist.”
“No one knows how far the mist was able to travel or how it originated, only that it started in St. Louis.” The thin crest of moon offered little light, but his eyes were keen. “You still afraid to sleep?”
I tossed my stick into the fire and watched the flames lick over the wood. “I’m not afraid to sleep. It’s what happens while I’m sleeping that gives me hives.”
“The dreams?” he guessed, seeing the unease enter my expression.
I pressed my palms into my thighs to keep from bouncing them. “I find myself submerged deeper in the dreams. They stay with me, nagging at me, as if I’m supposed to do something, but I don’t know what.”
“Snapshots.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve heard of people being able to get flashes of events to come.” His eyes narrowed. “Kind of like how you knew the Institute was coming.”
“Premonitions.”
He nodded.
I didn’t know what to say after that. The idea of being able to get glimpses of the future left me with a funny feeling. Acutely aware of Dash’s intense stare, I kept my eyes averted on the fire as my brain attempted to process this new development. How was I going to learn to control four abilities when I couldn’t even control one?
Dash leaned back against a tree, letting his eyes drift shut. The long fringe of his lashes fanned over his cheeks. “We should get some rest.”
I blinked slowly, knowing I needed sleep, but my mind was twisted up, striving to work through all the crap. Sleep was where the alarming and vivid dreams would come, where the screams and pain would wrap around me, sucking the life from me. The tatters of them would linger in my mind long after I woke.
Whether it was my abilities or memories from the mist or a combination, it made sleep difficult, for I never knew what I would see.
Fog and fear. Mist and misery. The flash of my sister’s wholesome face. The gleam of Dash’s silver eyes. A blur of both the past and present.
If I was indeed getting snapshots, did I want to block them? Did I want to know the future? One thing I’d learned was the visions weren’t set in stone. The future could be altered.
My mind wasn’t the only thing burdened as I lay on the ground, watching the firelight dance. So was my heart.
I’d told Dash we were friends, and I wanted that, but I also wanted more. I wanted the chance to see if there could be something between us, but I wasn’t going to push myself on him. If he didn’t want the same, it would be his loss.
My eyes eventually grew too heavy for me to keep them open. I wasn’t exactly sure when I drifted off, and in the darkness I dreamed.
Visions of sugarplums danced … sugarplums my ass.
In the dreams, the mist surrounded me, filling my lungs, torching my eyes, and incinerating my skin, but there was no pain, not physical. My whole being was solely concentrated on the events unfolding before me. Monroe, my kid sister, was standing in a field, her hands engulfed in flames. I yelled her name, but it was as if she couldn’t see me. My cries went unheard.
Realizing I wasn’t getting anywhere by exercising my lungs, I turned my efforts elsewhere and found what I was looking for. Dash stood on the other side of the field, bow drawn and arrow positioned to strike.
Five seconds went by as my mind processed what was going on, eyes rotating back and forth between them.
OMG.
They were going to kill each other.
I couldn’t let that happen. I stopped thinking about the mist, about anything rational, and bolted out toward the middle of the field.
“Stop!” I screamed, throwing my arms out.
I could have been invisible. Neither of them batted an eye; however, I’d put myself in a dire predicament. As if someone had just yelled fire, Monroe and Dash both discharged their weapons, a blazing fireball and an accurate arrow. And I was the intended target.
I woke up covered in sweat, a scream caught in my throat.
Orange-blue flames sputtered from the fire, swathing the ground in an eerie glow, but there was no comfort. Ga
sping, I rolled over on the bedroll, the nightmare ebbing away into reality. But like a bloodstain, no matter how hard I tried to scrub it from my mind, it was impossible to get rid of. It would plague me day and night. When I woke, the dream stayed with me—the life I used to have and would never be mine again, or in this case, the possibility of the future.
If that had been a snapshot, were Dash and Monroe destined to kill each other? I refused to believe the two people I cared about most would ultimately hurt each other and in the process destroy me.
But … if it was, what was I going to do about it?
There was something more to my dreams, more than I wanted to admit. I didn’t want them to mean anything, because none of it was good. I didn’t want to be haunted by things to come or what had passed.
Why did my subconscious have to be so screwed up?
Running a hand over my face, I sat up, cutting those bleak thoughts off. No reason to go there. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not any day. The past couldn’t be undone; the future was uncertain, and it was time to decide what I was going to do now in this primitive world.
“You’ll gain control of the dreams one day.”
My head whipped up. The voice was a familiar one, and I hadn’t been sure I’d ever hear it again. Above Dash’s sleeping head, perched on a low branch, was a black bird with glowing gold eyes. His head was cocked to the side, eyeing me with an inquisitive gaze. Blink.
“Everyone starts out rocky and wakes up an emotional basket case, but eventually, you learn to steer the snapshots, instead of letting them rule you,” he told me, as if he could read my mind.
“Ooookay.” My eyes thinned as I stared at the bird. Dash thought he was a spy, an Institute drone. I’d admit the bird was a mystery. “Why are you here?”
Blink stretched out his wings and gave them a ruffle. “To make sure you escaped the guards. I provided a bit of a distraction, you know. Lost a few feathers in the process.”
“I suppose I should thank you.”
He raised his beak. “That would be the polite response.”
“My mom always told me to mind my p’s and q’s.”