by Knupp, Amy
He sucked in air. “It’s good. It’s a wonderful picture.”
“There were others with you two posing for the camera. They’re decent. You both look great. But this one shows more, I think.”
He stared at it again.
“You can see the love and the pride in his eyes,” Carey explained.
Devin shook his head slowly. “I let him down in so many ways.”
“Devin! You absolutely did not.”
He shoved his chair back from the desk. Carey was too close. Leaning over, elbows on his knees, he rubbed his hands over his face. “I did. He told me I did.”
“No. Gramps wouldn’t say that. Wouldn’t think that.”
Devin told her about the dinner when Gramps had made it clear what he thought of Devin’s inability to make it out more often.
“He thought you work too much,” Carey said simply.
Devin nodded.
“That doesn’t mean he didn’t understand. Sounds to me like he was trying to help you, not himself.”
“The bitch of it is that I had several chances after that to get it right. But I didn’t make more time for him. Now I can’t.”
“He loved you, Devin. Look at the picture. It’s there.”
Devin studied it. “I know.” He stood the photo up on his desk, lost in memories.
“I have to go,” Carey said. “But I wanted to bring this over as soon as I could.”
Devin rose and pulled her into a chaste hug. “Thank you, Carey. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten.” He kissed her temple and breathed in her scent, felt her arms winding around him.
As she pulled away, she pressed her lips to his briefly—too briefly—and left.
He gave thanks silently that she was part of his life.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“THAT WAS Phillip on the phone.” Penny poked her head into Carey’s tiny, bare-walled bedroom, where Carey and her two cats stretched out on the bed under the ceiling fan in an attempt to cool off. “He wants to talk.”
Carey sat up. The older woman’s expression was amazingly calm, hopeful. She continued to handle the whole blowup with Phillip better than Carey would’ve imagined possible.
Her mom had been staying in the extra bedroom for a week and a half now. Ever since she’d had to move out of her rental. She and Phillip had spoken twice, but so far, he had yet to forgive her mother. To Carey’s astonishment, her mom hadn’t called him once in the month he’d been making her pay. She hadn’t ranted on about her woes, although Carey could discern an underlying tension in her, which was understandable and expected. Her mother’s maturity, however, as condescending as it sounded, was a surprise.
“That’s good news,” Carey said. “He’s had a chance to think. Now he wants to talk about the future, I bet.”
“God, I hope I don’t screw it up.”
“Mom, you know what you need to do. Just be honest with him.”
“Do I look okay?” Penny asked. She wore denim shorts and a flowered T-shirt. Very casual. Non-threatening. “Is my mascara running from the heat?”
“You look great, Mom. Go get your guy.” In her heart she wanted her mom to win this time. The woman had had more than her share of disastrous relationships and broken hearts, and, selfishly, Carey wanted the glimmer of hope. If her mom pulled this one off, maybe Carey had a chance to find a happy relationship, too, someday.
“See you later…maybe.” Penny closed the bedroom door, and Carey listened for the sound of her car.
The apartment was startlingly silent. There were times in the past few days she’d wished her mom would go away, give her some peace. But now that she was alone, she felt trapped.
The heat didn’t help. She’d come home from meeting with a prospective wedding customer to find her air conditioner had quit sometime early in the day. It felt like a sauna in here, even with the ceiling fan on high and all the windows open. Dr. Estes said he’d have it fixed first thing in the morning, after Carey had insisted she could handle it overnight. She was beginning to think she’d been wrong.
Fanning herself with her shirt, she trudged out to the thermostat in the living room. Ninety-two degrees. God almighty, this was absurd. She considered a shower, but…there was Devin’s pool. He always told her she could come swim anytime. Besides, this place was lonely.
She dialed his number, digging through her purse for her keys. When his answering machine picked up, she hung up. She still had Devin’s key. He wouldn’t mind. Her sanity depended on cooling off. She went to the kitchen and added an ice cube to the cats’ water bowl, leaving the fans on for the furballs. They’d probably sleep through the rest of the heat wave just fine.
Twenty minutes later, she looked out the sliding glass door that opened onto Devin’s deck. Over the railing, she could see the far end of the pool below, illuminated by an underwater bulb. And then she spotted him in the water, facing away from her, resting with his arms hanging over the edge. In the darkness she could just make out the heaving of his broad shoulders as if from vigorous exercise.
She opened the door without a sound, without him noticing, and walked to the edge of the deck. With a splash, he dove under the previously calm surface of the water, pushing off the side. His body glided in her direction, his outline clear from the light behind him. He began swimming an even, graceful crawl stroke, and she started down the stairs. She took off her T-shirt and shorts and wrapped her towel around her swimsuit.
She loved to watch him swim. He did an underwater turn at the side closest to her and skimmed away, seemingly without effort. The gentle splashing mesmerized her, and she lowered herself to the cement a few feet from the pool’s edge. A soft breeze rustled in the trees that grew around the perimeter of the yard. She inhaled deeply—chlorine, blooming flowers, dampness. Summer. A rare serenity seeped through her.
She counted his laps, knowing he wouldn’t stop for some time. Devin challenged himself in the pool, just as he challenged himself in every other facet of his life.
Somewhere in the thirties, she lost count and patience. As he swam away again, she dropped her towel and lowered herself into the refreshing, cool liquid, thankful for the reprieve from the heat.
She stood in thigh-high water, directly in his path. He wore goggles, but apparently he didn’t see her until he was a few feet away. He popped out of the water, sputtering, whipping the goggles off his head.
“Dammit, woman, are you trying to give me a heart attack?” He was breathing hard, watching her.
She tried not to smile. “You said whenever I wanted to swim…”
“You want to swim, huh?” She tried to dart away, but he caught her around the tops of her thighs and pulled her toward him. “Oh, no, you don’t.”
She attempted to get her footing, but he scooped her up before she could. He swung her toward the deep end of the pool and let go. She flew through the air as gracefully as a hippo and flopped into the water butt first. When she surfaced, she heard his low, devious laughter from the shallow end.
“You’ll pay, Colyer,” she said, attempting to sound tough. The smile on her face probably ruined the effect. “And don’t you know you shouldn’t throw a pregnant woman?”
She pulled herself through the water toward him.
“You’re lucky you’re pregnant,” he said when she grabbed the wall next to him. “Otherwise I would have dumped you in headfirst from the roof.”
“You should talk to someone about this violent tendency.”
Devin laughed, feeling better than he had for days.
He watched from behind as Carey climbed one of the ladders. She wore a one-piece suit, bright yellow, as plain as could be. But something inside him tightened, speeding his pulse up.
Her wet blond hair draped over her back, pouring water behind her. He had the urge to touch her hair, to touch her. He dove underwater and skimmed the bottom down the slope of the deep end, as if to drown the feelings. She’s off-limits.
He came up for air directly acro
ss from where she’d settled on the top rung of the ladder.
“What brings you out tonight? Isn’t it past your bedtime?” he asked.
“For one, my mom went to Phillip’s. The apartment seemed extra empty and quiet.” She swished her hands through the water at her sides. “I think they’ll work things out tonight. I’d bet there’s going to be a wedding after all.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“I’ll be glad if they get married. I could do without the wedding itself.”
She absently scooped water over her legs and arms. “The other reason I came over is because my air conditioner is dead. It’s approaching boiling point in my apartment. Perfect night for a swim.”
He nodded. He loved swimming late at night, usually in the buff. He was lucky he’d put trunks on tonight. “Boiling point, huh? Probably not ideal sleeping conditions.”
“No, especially when you add in the pregnancy factor.”
“Which means?” It was good to have the pregnancy hit over his head repeatedly. Annoying, but good.
“Heat is unbearable. I’ve been sleeping with the air set on sixty lately.”
“No wonder it broke.” He’d moved to the center of the pool, treading water a few feet from her.
“Just one of the many side effects of pregnancy hormones.” She smiled sheepishly. “The heat thing is definitely not my favorite part.”
“What is?”
“What is what?”
“Your favorite part of being pregnant?” The more they discussed it, the less likely he’d be to make a stupid move.
She looked across the pool into the trees, serious. “I like being pregnant. The idea of having a little living being right here blows my mind.” She ran her hand over her abdomen. “I’m never alone. She goes everywhere with me. I feel her move. It’s…an amazing thing.”
The idea of her cuddling an infant squeezed at something deep inside of him. Something best ignored, especially when he couldn’t picture himself at their side.
“Another Langford woman.” He shook his head. “God help us all.”
She splashed him in the face then dove under, toward the shallow end. She burst from under the surface with a loud sputter, and he chuckled to himself. Graceful in the water she wasn’t.
He lay on his back, floating along with his eyes closed as he usually did after a hard workout. Content. The night was perfect and he loved sharing it with Carey.
He had no idea she’d moved from the other end of the pool until he was suddenly yanked underwater by his feet. She let go of him, and he tried to grab her before she swam off but missed, probably because of the half gallon of water he’d swallowed and the other quart up his nose.
“You better watch out,” he choked out when he finally stopped spewing chlorine.
An evil giggle assaulted his ears, and he swam steadily toward her. The playfulness in her eyes ignited his raw desire. He’d always loved the expressiveness of her eyes.
He wasn’t about to let her get away with a sneak attack though. He lunged toward her and grabbed her, cradling her in his arms.
Stupid move.
Her arms flew around his neck, and she gazed up at him, her lips puckered in an attempt not to smile. The top curves of her ample breasts were exposed, the creamy smoothness of her skin accented by drops of water. He longed to touch his tongue to each droplet, longed to taste her.
“Put me down, Dev. I’m not supposed to rough-house.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t throw you.” He walked down the sloped floor, the water deepening with each step.
“No dunking.” She was trying to sound stern, but she kept laughing.
“Sure, Care.” He kept walking. The water covered her chest now.
“I’ll drag you down with me!”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.”
Two more steps and her head was underwater. He let go of her, but her arms clung to his neck, and before he knew it, her body slid over his, pushing him horizontally under the surface with her. He expected her to let go, but instead she locked her grip. Struggling to move the weight of both of them, he couldn’t set his feet on the slippery slope, so he had to use his arms to pull them both to the shallow end.
She let out a wicked laugh as he finally got his feet securely on the bottom of the pool, keeping his knees bent so he was submerged to his chest. She released his neck and stood up between his knees.
“Which one of us were you trying to drown that time?” Damn if he couldn’t erase the feeling of her body stretched out on top of him, moving with him. The contact had made him rock hard. He stood, fully aware his reaction to her would no longer be hidden by the water. He moved toward her until mere inches separated them. Her smile faded as she gazed unwaveringly into his eyes. The playful mood had vanished, and the magnetism between them was undeniable, overpowering.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
UNABLE TO RESIST any longer, Devin bent and kissed her.
He tasted her familiar mouth and caught the slightest hint of berry scent in her hair. Her breath was hot in spite of the cool water. She responded to his touch without hesitation and his chest tightened with emotion at the realization she was willing to give him whatever he wanted.
He wanted everything.
He ran his hands over her bare shoulders and up into her hair, urging her head closer if that was possible.
She grasped his neck, and he plunged backward into the water, carrying her with him until they were submerged to the shoulders. Leaning against the pool wall, he pulled her until she was straddling his lap, his lips never leaving hers.
His hardness pressed against her exactly where he imagined burying himself, separated only by the thin yellow material of her suit and the bulky cotton of his. She strained against him as if she couldn’t get close enough.
He had to slow this down or making love to the woman of his dreams would be over in two minutes and two seconds.
He peeled one yellow shoulder strap down several inches until her breast was free of the suit. Running his palm over it, he relished its fullness, her nipple already erect. He lowered his mouth to the rosy tip and ran his tongue around it. Carey let out a low moan and her head fell back. He teased her nipple, then slowly trailed a line of kisses up to her beautiful neck.
When their lips met again, any semblance of patience or moving slowly had disappeared, and they explored each other’s mouths fervently.
Devin slid a hand across her inner thigh and ran it gently between her legs, feeling her heat. She writhed against his hand. He pulled her suit aside enough to push a finger inside her, and she inhaled sharply. The squirming of her pelvis against his hand told him she wanted him as badly as he did her.
His breath was ragged in his throat and his heart raced. He took his hand from her with the thought of stripping the bothersome suit off her. He ran his hand up toward her shoulders.
The blatant roundness of her belly under his fingertips stopped him cold.
He couldn’t do this.
There was no denying Jerod’s baby between them.
Devin trailed his hand up to her shoulder, hoping she hadn’t noticed his hesitation.
He pulled his head back to look at her, emotion nearly choking him. He grasped her arms loosely, easing away from her, and sucked in a slow, silent gasp of air.
Her eyes popped open. “What’s wrong, Devin?”
He pulled her into an embrace, the backs of his eyes stinging.
Dammit!
If he took Carey’s body and her heart, then he damn well better be prepared to take her baby, too.
Which wasn’t going to happen.
“Devin?” Obviously confused, she slid away from him.
He shook his head, missing the warmth of her body already. “This isn’t right.”
“What isn’t right?”
God, he hated himself at this instant.
“I can’t handle anything but casual right now.”
It wasn’t an outright lie. He could
n’t handle a relationship with her right now, and with her, it was all or nothing. But if he told her he was struggling with the baby’s paternity, it could have serious repercussions on their friendship. He couldn’t lose her.
“I’m sorry. My life is too messed up right now. Getting involved wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
Maybe someday he’d be man enough to get past the Jerod thing. Maybe once the baby was born, he could forget who her daddy was.
“I care about you,” he said. “But we’re not ready for this.”
She exhaled slowly. “Devin. I get the picture. You can shut up already.” Her voice was strong and steady, almost had a teasing tone. Almost.
He was a damn clod. Without another minute’s hesitation, he eased to the side of the pool and climbed out to the pavement, getting his towel from the table. Eager to put as much distance as possible between them.
He ached with sadness even as his body still pounded with desire.
He sat in the wooden patio chair, drying himself.
Carey, still in the pool, had submerged, maybe to cool her engines, too.
When she finally surfaced, she didn’t spare him a look. He craned his neck up gazing at the dark sky. His blood still thrummed through his body at high speed and he was sweating despite having just gotten out of the water.
He heard her footsteps on the pavement as she walked past and picked up her towel, but he didn’t look at her. Then she jogged up the stairs. He jumped up, unable to let her leave angry.
“Carey.”
She paused at the back door just as he reached the top step.
“Wait.”
Her face was blank.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine, Devin.” She opened the door. “See you later.”
SHE WAS such a fool!
What was she doing kissing him in the first place? It didn’t matter who initiated it, she’d wanted it all. Wanted it badly.
Snorting in self-disgust, she reached into the shower in her closet-sized bathroom and turned the water on.
Devin was one hundred percent right they couldn’t be together. How could she forget when her tummy stuck out a mile? It should have been as noticeable as a toddler screaming, “Mama!”