Cocksure

by K. I. Lynn

  “Not happening. You’re not leaving my sight.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I fucking love you and I’m not letting that motherfucker get near you two. And I’m going to let your suspicious ass stew a little more since you were an ice bitch to me for a week, not letting me tell you about my cousin, Siobhan Callahan.”

  In my periphery, I can see the fight drain from her, the blood leave her face. She slouches into the seat. “Your cousin?”

  “Yes. I told her about the baby and she wants to throw a Callahan family baby shower for us.” Somehow, she either didn’t hear me blurt out that I was in love with her, or she’s chosen to ignore it.

  “How many cousins do you have? I don’t even know much about your extended family.”

  I glance at her, trying to figure out what she’s thinking. “Well, you know my dad was a first- generation Irish American, and my mom is from Greece. There are a few Greek cousins that I’ve only met a few times, but I have sixteen Callahan first cousins.”

  “Sixteen?”

  I nod. “Irish Catholic. Dad was one of six. Siobhan is one of five from Dad’s Irish twin brother, Sedan.”

  “He had a twin?” she asks.

  I shake my head. “Irish twin.”

  “Well, yeah, he’s Irish.”

  A chuckle erupts as I realize the issue. “Irish twins are siblings born within twelve months of each other.”

  “Oh.”

  “Dad’s the only one who had one kid, and everyone blamed my mom for that, but the truth was she miscarried and never carried to term after me.”

  “Why would they blame her for that?”

  “Some of the family didn’t like that he married a Greek girl and not a ‘good’ Irish girl. They kind of ostracized him, and I became the black sheep of the family.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m the son of the Greek woman who stole away their poor Lonan. Not everyone feels that way, but there are some who don’t approve of my existence. My mother’s family wasn’t crazy about my mom not marrying a Greek either, but they didn’t push her away like my dad’s side of the family did.”

  “That’s crazy!” Everly cries out. “Not that there’s anything wrong with your parents, but you were innocent.”

  Suddenly, Everly starts sobbing, tears raining down her face. It’s so sudden, so strange, I pull off the road and throw the car in park.

  “Baby?” I ask as I undo my seatbelt, then lean over to cup her face.

  “I’m s-sorry,” she manages to say between hiccupping sobs. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch. I’m sorry for not trusting you. I got scared.”

  “Why were you scared?”

  “Because I’m in love with you, too.” I smile at the words I’ve been waiting to hear from her lips, ignoring the pain in my own.

  “Your lip,” she says, reaching out to ghost her fingers over the large split I can feel in the swelling of my lip.

  “I’m lucky he didn’t knock any teeth out.”

  “I’ve never seen my brother like that before. He was so angry.”

  “I knew he would be.”

  “Why didn’t you tell him everything?” she asks. “Why didn’t you want me to tell him that it was me that lied to you, that this was my fault?”

  I let out a breath and try to explain to her the best that I can. This isn’t going to just blow over. “Because regardless of how it started, Ev, I knew after, and I still didn’t tell him. I didn’t know who you were when I took you back to my place that first night, but Cam knows that I knew at some point, and I still didn’t tell him. I lied. That’s not something he’s likely to get over tomorrow. I broke a trust that we’ve always had between us. One that I’m not sure I can ever earn back.”

  “He was trying to tell me that you had other women, wasn’t he?”

  “Probably, but he also knows that I’ve been talking about just one woman for a while now. No matter what he was going to say to you, he knows that I haven’t been fucking around. He’s been bitching at me for a while now to snap out of what he called a funk, but it wasn’t what he thought.”

  “It wasn’t?’

  “No. Not at all.” I lean forward and rest my forehead on hers. “When are you going to understand that all I see, all I’ve been able to see since you steamrolled into my life again, is you.”

  “But, you’ve never been committed to one woman before. You said that yourself. What if you get tired of me?” Her breath speeds up. “What if I get so big carrying this baby that you don’t want me like that, and you want to go back to fucking other women?”

  I groan at her words. God, this fucking dickhead did the worst possible thing a person could do to anyone by cheating and lying to her.

  “Ev, I’m a very sexual man. I’m not going to try and bullshit you here. I like sex. I’ve had lots of sex. I’ve been with a lot of different women over the years, but I’ve never lied to them, and I’ve never led them to believe I would give them more than a sexual relationship. I’ve never wanted more than that. I have never wanted to commit to anyone before you. I’ve never been ready so when I say I like sex and I mean . . . I like lots of it.”

  “Oh my God. Enough Niko, I get it, you like fucking sex. I don’t want to listen to this anymore. I’m hungry. My feet hurt and I’m hormonal. That’s never a good combo so shut up, because I swear to God, Nikolas Callahan, if you start listing off the bimbos you’ve slept with next and rate them, I’m going to rip off your beans and frank and grab the ketchup!”

  My eyes widen, and I sit back on my side of the car. “Well that was a fucking visual I don’t want. I don’t think I’ll ever get that out of my head, but baby, you didn’t let me finish.” Before she can start again, I place my hand over her mouth, shushing her, then smile as she glares daggers at me.

  She reaches up and pushes my hand away. “What? I didn’t say that I’d skin your one-eyed snake.”

  I shake my head but can’t help the shudder that runs through me at the thought she just planted in my head. This woman could be vicious if I’m not careful. I won’t ever forget that fact. Last thing I want to see is her Bobbit impersonation.

  “What I was going to say was . . . I only want to have lots of sex with you. No matter how big you think you are, I will always see you as my beautiful woman. I only see myself having tons of sex with you. And if you’re too tired or feel unsexy, for whatever crazy reason you have conjured up in your head, I’ll just have to prove to you that you are who I want. Whenever. However. Forever.”

  She sucks in a breath when I say the last word, but I’m not done.

  “I want to have more babies with you, Everly, and if that’s not what you want right away, well, then we can just have fun practicing for the future. Don’t push me away. Have faith in me. For once, have faith in us. Don’t punish me for my past and for Christ’s sake, baby, don’t punish me because of yours. I’m not him. I’ll never be him. I watched how my father looked at my mother my whole life, and he worshipped the ground she walked on until the day he died. I want that. I want you.”

  Everything is silent as she stares at me, processing all that I’ve just said.

  “Where did you come from, Nikolas Callahan?” she asks, making me smile. Not the response I was looking for, but shit . . . I’ll take anything but her doubt when it comes to us.

  “Well, you see, that’s not something that I like to think about. We obviously both know where babies come from, babe, but that is not something I like to remember.”

  “Niko, your parents obviously had sex.”

  I roll my eyes at her and then cover her mouth with mine. Lifting away from her, I look into those beautiful hazel eyes of hers, and it’s then that I see it.

  “You’re my home, Everly Hayes. I’m pretty sure I loved you that first night we were together. Hell, if I’m honest with myself, probably even when you were a kid.”

  “Ummm that’s kind of weird, but I’ll take it. I do think you’re just saying that, though,
because I was just a kid and you were a teen.”

  “I was, but you are misunderstanding me. It wasn’t the type of love that I have now for you, beautiful girl. I was always jealous of Cam.”

  “Jealous, why?” She looks perplexed.

  “Maybe jealous is the wrong word. It wasn’t a bad feeling. Envious is a better word. He had you. I was an only child, and you worshiped the ground he walked on. He protected you at every turn. I wanted that. It’s why I didn’t want you to take the blame in all this. I don’t want things to change for you and him. He’s your brother. Your family. He’ll get over being upset with you and all will be right again.”

  “What about you?”

  “You let me worry about me. Just don’t stress yourself out worrying about your brother and me. I’ll deal with Cameron when it’s time. What happens after that is for me to worry about, okay?” She eyes me warily, but then her eyes soften as she looks me in my eyes.

  “You’ve got it wrong, though, Niko. I worshiped the ground both of you walked on. It wasn’t just Cam.”

  I smile at that. “I wouldn’t mind you worshiping the ground we’re on now if you know what I mean?” I wag my eyebrows at her, causing her to laugh. “I love you, Everly Hayes. We’re taking this journey together, and I hope that we’ll take many more in the future. With or without your brother’s blessing. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I love you, too.” She leans up to kiss me, and for now, my problems with Cameron are on hold. For now.

  “OKAY, SWEETHEART, THEY’VE GOT the security system all set up,” Dad says as he ends the call with the dispatcher from the security company. No one has let me back into my house until the proper precautions are up, so I’m happy that the security system is finally in place. It’s been very disjointed the past week and a half without my stuff. More importantly—without my body pillow.

  “Thanks, Dad,” I say, looking at my father. I know that he’s worried about us and taking care of the installation of this new security system on my house has at least put him a little more at ease.

  “I want you and my grandson to be safe,” he says as he draws me in for a hug and runs his hands up and down my arms. “I have to tell you how relieved I am that Tate isn’t my grandson’s father.”

  “Mom said you would feel that way. I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t want to lie, but I was worried about how Cam would react.”

  He nods. “Niko is a good man. I know he’ll do everything he can for you two. Cameron is angry and hurt right now. Give him some time. The two of you is a bit of a shock, but in a way, I’m not surprised.”

  Niko and I got here a little while ago. He had to work later and didn’t want me to be alone when he wasn’t home, so we came here. My mom grabbed Niko as soon as we walked in the door claiming she had some things for him to help her with, but I knew she wanted to give my dad and me a few minutes to talk alone. Now that we’re alone and he mentioned Niko, I’m curious to hear what he has to say.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You don’t remember our talk? The one where you were adamant you were going to marry Niko.”

  I shake my head and roll my eyes. “Dad, I was twelve.”

  “You were very adamant.”

  “Well, I can assure you that was not my intent when I moved back.”

  He laughs. “Maybe not, but as I said, I’m not surprised. You followed your brother and Niko around anywhere they would let you. If your head wasn’t buried in one of your books, you were hightailing it after those two boys.”

  I laugh at the memories. I was pretty bad.

  “That was puppy love, Daddy. I had no idea what real love was. I was just a baby.”

  He looks over at me, searching. “And what is it now, Ev? What kind of love do you have for Niko now?”

  I think about his question for a moment, but not because I’m unsure. I want my dad to know that this is real. After Tate and getting involved with Niko so soon after. Plus, the fact that it started out on a lie.

  “I love him. Not because he’s the father of my baby. He’s everything I wanted, and I didn’t even know I was looking for. I was really hard on him in the beginning, but he stuck it out with me. He’s put up with my mood swings and all of my insecurities, and he’s still here. He even put the baby and me before his relationship with Cam, and I know that it’s killing him.”

  My father nods his head in understanding. “Niko and Cameron have been friends a long time, sweetheart.”

  “I know, Dad.”

  “Best friends.”

  “I know that too. Why are you telling me something that you know I already know?”

  “Because, Everly. He can be your best friend, too. That doesn’t have to change what Cam and Niko have.”

  “That’s why it’s killing me to see him so hurt over the fact that he feels as if that door is closed now. That Cam will never forgive him, and they’ll never get back their friendship.”

  “Talk to Cameron.”

  “I tried, but he was so mad he wouldn’t listen. He lost it and punched Niko without even giving us a chance to to tell him anything.”

  “I heard, but Everly, if you explain things to your brother, make him see that this thing with Niko isn’t going to go away. That you love him. I’m hoping that Niko returns those feelings, am I right?”

  “He does. He’s not only told me, Daddy, but he’s shown me how much I mean to him. This thing with Cam is one of them.”

  “Then show him. Let him see that this is it for the two of you. It’s not his worst fear. Your brother has always scared away the boys when it came to you. When he left for college, you’d have thought he was your father and not me. He grilled me on who you were to stay away from and the places you and Alyson liked to go and forbid me to allow you to go to these places.”

  I bust out laughing because I know that his demands on my parents had more to do with Aly than they did with boys back then. Pretty sure that hasn’t changed, but I won’t let that distract me from the current situation I have with Cam.

  “I can imagine that list.”

  He smiles and shakes his head. “I wasn’t that dad, but I did keep an eye on you. I knew I could trust you to do right by your decisions in life, and I also knew that you had your own mistakes to make and to learn from. Cam needs to know that this is your life. It always has been, Everly. You’ve marched to your own drum for a very long time. Even when you were a child following after two boys that weren’t your age. If someone told you no, you did it anyway, just to prove to everyone that you could. I’m proud of you and everything you’ve achieved already. I know that you’re going to be the best mother, and Niko will be a great father. Your brother will see that too.”

  He hugs me, and I don’t say anything else, just place my head on his shoulder and sit with my dad for a few more minutes. We both hear the front door open, and then my brother’s voice calls out to my mom who’s hopefully still outside in the garage with Niko. Guess there is no better time than the present.

  “Talk to him, Ev,” Dad says.

  I take a deep breath and make my way out of the room in search of Cam. I just hope I can fix this between Cam and Niko because I really want them both in my life without the tension, and I know Niko wants his brother back.

  I walk toward the kitchen where I find Cameron drinking a glass of water, his back toward me.

  “Hey,” I say, and Cam stiffens, but doesn’t stop drinking and says nothing in return. Guess he’s still mad, but he didn’t tell me to go to hell yet, so I guess that’s a good sign. “We planned on telling you.”

  “When? After the baby got here?” Cam growls. “Was I just going to see him in the delivery room and have it click then just what the fuck has been going on?”

  No, he’s not calmed down.

  “Cam.”

  “No, Everly. It’s not like this is a few weeks after finding out, this is months. You’re six months pregnant. Merry fucking Christmas and a Happy New Year to me.”

  �
�It wasn’t like that, Cam. Niko wanted to tell you in the beginning, but we were just figuring things out. We never meant it to go on for so long. For what it’s worth, he never meant to go against his word.”

  “But he did. He promised me! For crying out loud, Ev. I asked him to keep an eye out for you because fucking Jake was sniffing around you, and I didn’t want you to get hurt. You deserve better.”

  “Cameron, I’m telling you that it wasn’t like that at all,” I say.

  “But it wasn’t Jake I needed to worry about, was it?” he says, talking over me. “No . . . Niko had already made his play for you and lied to my fucking face every time I asked him about this woman he was seeing.”

  Niko steps out from the doorway. “It’s was my fault, Cameron. Don’t yell at her like that.”

  Cam glares at him and shakes his head. “No, don’t even try—”

  “I told him my name was Alyson,” I say, cutting him off. “He didn’t recognize me, and I lied to him. He’s wrong. It wasn’t his fault, Cam. Be mad at me because I’m the one that started this.”

  “Oh, I’m plenty mad at you, little sis, but even if you were the one that first night, I know damn well it wasn’t the only time.” He turns to Niko. “So, when was it? When did you sleep with her, knowing full well who the fuck she was?”

  “That night at The Sinclair,” Niko says without pause. “You know how I’d been, unable to think of anyone other than her. Well, to you, she was my Post-it note girl. That night we had too much to drink, and I couldn’t fight against it any longer. I didn’t want to. I put my loyalty to you and our friendship on the line.”

  “For pussy.”

  I cringe at Cam’s words.

  “Watch your mouth, Cameron. She’s still your sister. I’m not going to stand here and let you disrespect her in front of me.”

  “I wasn’t talking about my sister. At least I didn’t know that I was. That the woman you were losing your goddamn mind over was Everly, but you let me go on and on about this woman. Never once calling me on my shit and telling me that the woman that I was bad mouthing, the woman that left a fucking Post-it note on your cock was Everly.”