Cocksure

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Cocksure Page 37

by K. I. Lynn


  Cam thinks he freaked out after Ev fell down the stairs and ran like the fucking coward that he is, but then came back for his cell phone that he’d apparently dropped along with hers at some point while they were at the top of the stairs. He more than likely realized it was still at Everly’s house and if she died, he didn’t want the police to know he was ever there.

  Thank God her neighbor Grant pointed him out to the cops who took him in for questioning and then arrested him. Grant said he recognized him from the last time Tate stopped by her house uninvited and seen him leaving, holding his hand over his bloody nose. Fuck, how I wish now that I had beat him to death back then. Not sure what charges they are going to throw at him, but if I have anything to say about it, his ass is going to fucking jail for a long time.

  They wanted me to come to the police station and give them my statement, and I told them no. They can come here if they want it, but I won’t leave Everly. They went to work right away and checked everything out when she first got here. She has a concussion, broken arm, and a lot of bruising. Other than that, we won’t know anything more for a little while longer. For now, it’s a waiting game.

  They have her hooked up to all these machines. Some are for her, and a few are for the baby.

  His little heart is beating like a war drum through the monitor to my right, and I feel comforted by it. I know it means my son is a fighter. Just like his mom. I just keep waiting for her to wake up. I know she’s going to wake up. We need her. I need her.

  There’s a knock on the door behind me, and I turn around, hoping it’s good news, but the disappointment must show on my face when I see it’s just Everly’s best friend, Alyson, the girl she pretended to be when I first found out that she was Everly Hayes. God, that seems like so long ago. We’ve come so far since then.

  “Anything?” Alyson asks, and I know she’s just as worried as I am right now.

  I shake my head no and turn back to hold Ev’s hand, my other hand resting on top of our son where he’s been for the past eight months, protected in his mother’s womb. I haven’t felt him move at all since they brought Everly in, but I hear his heart. I just keep touching her stomach in hopes that he’ll move. I just need him to give me a sign and for his mother to wake up.

  “They’re going to be fine. You know that, right, Niko?”

  “Yeah,” I say and pray that it’s true. “They both have to be. I don’t honestly know what I’d do if I lost one of them, or fuck . . . if I lost them both.”

  “You can’t think like that. Ev’s a fighter, and this baby, your son, he’s a fighter too. Never forget that. They’ll pull through this, and you two will be right back to driving each other crazy, and then the baby will be here driving you crazy together.”

  I smile at Aly. Or what I hope is a smile. I know she means well, but until I see Ev’s beautiful hazel eyes open, I’m not going to relax.

  “Hey,” Cameron says as he enters the room, slowly closing the door as if he doesn’t want to disturb anyone. “Anything?”

  I shake my head, but keep my voice to myself. I’m tired of talking. I only want to speak to Everly.

  “My parents are both here. They want to come in and see her, but the nurse said only two at a time. I thought maybe you’d like to go home, shower and change—”

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry, Cam. I know you are just trying to help, and they want to come in, but I’m not leaving.” I try to finish, but Alyson interrupts my protest before I can say anymore.

  “You don’t have to leave, Niko. Cam and I will leave, and we’ll have Ev’s parents come in one at a time. I’m sure they’ll understand. Right, Cameron?”

  Cam looks over at her, and for a second and I can’t tell if he looks shocked that she’s speaking to him or that she is speaking to him as if they’re friends. These two can never be in the same room with the other, so if it doesn’t last long, I’m ready to throw them both out the minute they start with their usual shit.

  “Yeah, umm, right,” Cam says to her just as calmly as she spoke to him. It serves to remind me that this situation is seriously fucked up because everyone is completely out of their element right now. “I’m sure they’ll understand. I’ll talk to my parents. We’ll let them decide who comes in first. You sit tight, Niko.” Cam’s hand rests on my shoulder. “She’s going to pull through this, man. They both are. They’re Hayes, after all. We’ve always been fighters. There is no way Everly will let anything happen to her or my nephew.”

  I know she wouldn’t let anything happen, but this is out of her control. It’s out of everyone’s control.

  “Positive thoughts, man. You have to have them. They need you to stay positive.” I nod again, because what else can I say? “I’ll let my parents know. We’ll be back in a few. Call me if anything changes, yeah? We won’t be far.”

  “We?” Alyson says.

  “Yeah, we can let them visit, and you and I can go grab some clothes for Niko. It will be quicker if you sit in the car, give me more time to run in and out without trying to find parking.”

  I look over toward Alyson who looks as if she’s just swallowed a lemon. Apparently, the thought of being alone and in such proximity to Cam doesn’t appeal to her, but when she notices me looking at her, she schools her face, and it’s like watching one of those face transformations they do on those makeup infomercials they show late night on television. If I wasn’t so nerved up right now, I might have laughed at them both.

  “That okay with you, Aly?” Cam asks, and I know it’s for my benefit right now. Cam is never this calm around Aly.

  “Yeah, whatever I can do to help my friend. If helping you helps Niko stay by her side, then I’ll go. Just don’t piss me off, Hayes, and make me regret it later,” she says and starts to walk out of the room, Cam following behind her with a smile on his face.

  An alarm starts blaring, making us all jump. Both Cam and Aly stop their exit and turn to see what is causing the noise. It’s the monitor that is hooked up to Ev’s stomach. The one monitoring our son.

  A few seconds is all it takes for a swarm of nurses and doctors to storm in. Their words are gibberish, but some I know and the floor falls out from beneath me when I hear them barking out orders.

  The baby is in distress.

  Another alarm goes off, and my entire body begins to shake—it’s one of Everly’s monitors.

  “What’s going on?” I ask but get no response. They’re all running around.

  Cameron steps up to me and grabs my arm.

  “We have to go.”

  I yank my arm from his grip. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not leaving them.”

  My mind is racing, not computing that they’re taking her away.

  “Sir, we need you to wait outside, please,” one of the nurses says to me, and I shake my head no.

  “Niko, let them do what they need to do, man. You don’t want to be in their way. Come on.” I hear Cam, but I’m not leaving until I know what’s happening.

  I start to ask another nurse what’s going on when I overhear the doctor yell out to let the OR know they are coming as they turn Everly onto her side. What the fuck? I don’t get the chance to hear more as they start pulling her machines down and making them portable and start to move her entire bed out of the room.

  “Wait! No! What are you doing?”

  “Mr. Callahan,” one of the nurses says as she steps up. I don’t know which one because my eyes are locked on Everly’s disappearing form. “They’re taking her into surgery. They need to get the baby out now.”

  I shake my head, disbelieving what she’s saying. “It’s too early. She’s only thirty-five weeks.”

  “It’s necessary. The baby is in distress, or we wouldn’t do this right now.”

  “I’m going with her!” I yell at her, but she’s giving me a look that shows me nothing but sympathy.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Callahan, but I need to go see what is going on. Someone will be out as soon as we know mo
re or once they are both stable. I promise you they are in good hands,” she says and walks swiftly through the doors I’m not allowed through.

  A tear opens in my chest. The sentence is crushing because I don’t think I can handle losing either of them.

  Cam’s shaking next to me as he runs his fingers through his hair. I walk over to a chair and sit with my head in my hands, not knowing what else to do at this moment, feeling the most helpless I have ever felt in my entire life.

  As I sit there with my eyes on the floor, my mind racing through nothing but Ev and me over the past eight months, I feel an arm going around my back, and I look up.

  “She’s loved you since she was just a little girl, Niko. I think her dad and I knew she’d never grow out of it, too,” Ev’s mom, Linda, says as she squeezes me a little. “When I saw that ultrasound picture with your last name on it.” She smiles at me. “I wasn’t surprised. I think that if she’d never gone to California and stayed away so long, you two would have found each other sooner.”

  I think about that and remember back to that night at the pub when we first saw each other after so long. I knew she was different for me than other women I had been attracted to, I just didn’t realize it at the time. Or maybe I did, and I just didn’t want to sound like such a pussy by admitting it to anyone, never mind myself.

  “She’s always been stubborn, my Everly. You tell her she couldn’t do something, and she’d do everything to prove you wrong. I think meeting Alyson helped her come out of her shell in many ways, much to Cameron’s chagrin of course.” She lets out a small laugh as I shake my head.

  I look over to my best friend Cam who is leaning against the wall watching the doors where they took his sister through, but I know he’s listening.

  “My point is, if Ev can help it, she won’t let anything happen to that baby and she’ll fight because even as scared as she’s been, Everly wants to be a mother to that little boy more than anything,” Everly’s mom says and I know she’s right, but the part that keeps playing in my head is her saying “if she can help it.”

  That’s what scares me the most. None of us have any say over what happens right now, so we are all just forced to sit and wait.

  I don’t know how much more I can take at this point. This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to be in there with her. Right by her side while our son made his way into this world.

  Instead, I’m forced to wait a hundred feet from them while they cut her open and pull him out. What if something goes wrong? What if I lose them?

  My chest is so tight I can barely breathe. I can’t sit still. I need to move. I need to be there with her. With our child. I need to be holding her hand. I need to be doing something other than wearing a fucking hole in the carpet of the waiting room.

  A door opens, and I hear a familiar voice call my name. “Niko?”

  I rush forward and wrap my arms around my favorite cousin. “Siobhan.”

  “I saw Cameron downstairs. How is she?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know. They took her almost an hour ago, and nobody has come out.”

  She nods and holds her hand out. “Stay here. I’ll see what I can find out.”

  It’s then I notice she’s in her scrubs, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. I watch the door as she walks out, hoping someone walks in.

  “Who is that?” Richard asks. I can tell from his tone that he’s already thinking the worst. I turn, but before I can respond, Linda swats him on the arm.

  “That’s his cousin, Siobhan. The one that threw the baby shower last weekend. She’s a nurse in the maternity ward here.”

  Richard’s mouth pops open, and he seems contrite. He’s been like a father to me for a long time and tried to fill the role after my dad died, but he knows my history. I don’t take offense to where his mind went.

  “Forgive me, Niko,” he says. “I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”

  I shake my head. “Nothing to forgive. I get it, we didn’t tell anyone for a long time, and it takes some getting used to.”

  “It’s not that. One day, you two will have a daughter, and then you will understand. It’s instinctual to protect your little girl, even when it isn’t needed.”

  When Siobhan returns, there’s no rush in her steps. Her face is ashen, and she won’t look at me.

  I shake my head. “No. Please, no.” My whole body vibrates and the strength leaves my legs, sending me down to my knees.

  Siobhan drops down in front of me. “The baby is out and okay.”

  “Everly?”

  Her brow scrunches. “She’s hemorrhaging.”

  There’s a strangled gasp from Linda followed by a sob.

  “The fall caused damage they couldn’t see. They’re doing everything they can to stop the bleeding.”

  The door opens, and I look to find Cameron and Alyson step in. One look at me, and they rush forward.

  “What’s going on?” they ask in unison.

  “Everly is bleeding out,” I manage to choke out.

  “Oh my God!” Alyson cries and covers her mouth with her hands.

  “The baby?” Cam asks, and I feel like an asshole for not asking about my son, but she said he was out and okay.

  I want to see him.

  I need to see him.

  “Where is he? Can I see him?” I ask Siobhan, whose face lights up with something I can’t place. I just want to see my son until I know Everly is going to be okay, and she looks like she’s on drugs.

  “Well, you see there is something else, but before I tell you this, I want you to know that it’s not a bad thing. I mean, you still have time to return everything you got from the showers. I can do it for you so you won’t have to worry about a thing.”

  “What the hell are you talking about, just say it!” She’s scaring the fuck out of me right now, and my nerves are already shot to hell.

  “Sorry. Well . . . you have a daughter.”

  I stare at her, trying to understand her words. “What?”

  “You and Everly have a girl, not a boy,” she says, smiling like the cat that ate the canary.

  What in the fuck did she just say?

  “She had a girl?” I hear Alyson say from somewhere to my left, Ev’s mother mimicking her question.

  For a moment, the fear I had for Everly is put in the back of my brain as I try to comprehend what my cousin just said, and I think I might throw up. I sit back down in the chair I was in earlier, shocked, saying nothing when Cameron comes and stands in front of me. I look up at him, and he’s wearing a face I’m sure looks similar to my own, but less severe, but at least he’s able to speak.

  “Looks like we’ll need to invest in firearms courses and get those shotguns ready. Not letting these little fuckers near my niece until she’s fifty years old,” he says, as severe as I’ve ever seen him.

  I want to agree, but I’m still replaying Siobhan’s words in my head on a loop.

  “You have a daughter. You and Everly have a girl, not a boy.” I look around the room at everyone standing around with apprehensive smiles on their faces. They’re all looking at me, waiting.

  “What the fuck am I going to do with a girl?” I say, earning a few chuckles.

  Everyone except Cam, who sits next to me, placing one hand on my shoulder. A sign of his understanding because his next words echo my current thoughts.

  “What indeed, bro. What the fuck indeed,” Cam repeats and for once, I know he’s on the same page that I am. Neither one of us knows what the fuck to do with a baby. Throw in a baby girl, and we are fucked.

  MY EYELIDS ARE HEAVY, weighted down, and it’s a struggle to open them. There’s something wrong, or at least something not right.

  It’s not just my eyes; every part of me is a struggle to move.

  Heavy.

  Tired.

  Pain.

  I manage to groan, which makes the sound of footsteps to echo in my ears.

  “Everly?” Niko’s voice calls to
me, but I can only groan.

  “Baby, can you hear me?”

  “N . . .” I swallow hard, my throat dry. I manage to work my eyes open enough to see him. “Niko?”

  His head dips, his forehead pressing against mine as he expels a hard breath. The angle is odd and only adds to my confusion.

  “Sss goin’ on?” I say, and even I can hear that my words are slurred.

  “You fell down the stairs.”

  My eyes widen, and I take a long blink. “Baby?”

  “The placenta detached. They had to get her out.”

  I stare at him, my brow slowly furrowing. “H-her?”

  His lips pull up, and he swipes the hair back from my face.

  “Seems there was an oops.”

  “Oops?” I’m so confused. He’s just not making any sense.

  “Siobhan said that it happens from time to time, though usually the other way around. Sometimes what they think is a penis, ends up being the umbilical cord blocking the vagina. Her words, not mine,” he says, and I can tell by his tone and the look on his face that he’s still yet to come to terms with the mix-up.

  “How long?” I ask, not even sure what I’m referring to, but with every moment my head clears more and more.

  “You’ve been out for three days.” He tangles his fingers in my hair. “You scared me, baby.”

  All I can do is stare at him. If it were the other way around, I know I’d have been scared shitless myself, so I understand. It’s the same way I felt when Cam got hurt, and I didn’t know if he was okay and wasn’t sure if Niko had also been injured when they were on the job.

  Something I know I have to deal with as we go in the future. His career will always scare me.

  “We don’t have any girl’s names,” I say, changing the subject. My brain feels slow, still working through what is going on.

  “I’ve got a list going.”

  “You do?”

  He takes my hand in his and kisses my palm. “It got bad, Everly. You’ve had two blood transfusions. For a few hours, all I had was her, so I focused on her and tried not to freak out about the possibility of losing you.”

 

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