by Cheree Alsop
He watched me for a minute in silence. I kept my expression guarded to hide any show of the pain that was roiling inside me at fighting the phase.
“You’re still you as a wolf,” he finally said. “The sooner you accept it, the easier you’ll fit in here.”
I shook my head. “You and I both know I’ll never fit in here.”
The pain dropped me to my knees. A groan escaped me as the phase took over. I heard a rip as my tee-shirt tore up the back. The pull of my bones shifting, my muscles elongating, my shoulders rolling, and my face changing shape made the pain from the beating fade to the background. I had one glimpse of Professor Briggs’ face. My shirt hung in tatters, my skin was stretching as it changed, and all of my bruises stood out in sharp contrast in the moonlight. His eyes widened, then he turned away.
I let out a breath and gave into the phase. It went quicker, the fur growth, claws, and ears shaping more easily without me fighting. In the space of a minute that felt like an hour, I stood on four paws willing my heartbeat to slow and my breath to come in steadily. I stepped out of the remains of my pants and shook. It helped my muscles settle into the wolf form.
The concerns of my human life became more of a background buzz than the forefront thoughts in my mind. Instead, I was aware of a cricket working its way through the grass near the door, I heard the breeze twisting and dancing through the leaves of the trees around us, and the feeling of the dirt beneath my feet beckoned me to run and enjoy the freedom of being unfettered by school. The fall of the moon on my back chased the last ache from my ribs.
“Your feud with Vicken was a little more intense than I realized.”
Professor Briggs’ voice came from the trees in front of me. I padded slowly forward, both grateful and frustrated that I couldn’t reply. Instead, I pushed past him, intent on reaching the cemetery as quickly as possible so I could go to sleep.
“Maybe pairing you guys together was a bad idea,” Briggs continued, falling in behind me at a quick limp.
I snorted and continued, setting a pace that was probably too fast for his condition.
“We don’t need members of our defense team warring with each other,” he said, his voice further behind me. “It’d be dangerous for everyone. I guess you proved you can be in the same room together, but can you really trust each other?”
I didn’t need someone to voice the same thoughts that had swirled over and over in my mind since the moment Vicken appeared in the basement. I had made a promise to deal with it; I just needed them to trust that I could do so.
I slowed when I realized Briggs was so far behind I couldn’t see him. I could hear his step-limp cadence, slower than it had been when I was pushing him. After seeing his leg, I couldn’t believe how much pain it probably caused him on a daily basis. How did someone stand in front of classroom day after day on a leg like that?
His steps stopped. Curious, I paced softly back through the forest. I spotted him resting on a grassy mound at the edge of a starlit meadow. He had his bad leg stuck out in front of him and he rested his head in his hand.
“Maybe I don’t want to go,” he said quietly to himself. “Maybe I’m a coward.”
With everything that had happened to me, I had forgotten the true reason I was taking Briggs to the cemetery. Here I was, frustrated at phasing to my wolf form in front of my professor; what a simple, petty concern considering that fact that he sat there, a broken man, limping through a forest to speak to the ghost of the girl he had loved. He held himself responsible for her death, even though he apparently almost gave his life to save her. I stopped walking entirely at the sight of tears rolling down his cheeks.
“I can’t face her. I can’t…I can’t do it.” He shook his head, hiding his face in his hand. “I failed her.”
My heart went out to the warlock. I had never seen someone so humble and lost as the sight of the professor on the grass mound, his cane dropped a few steps away, and the hood of his robes pulled up in an effort to hide himself from anyone who saw his shattered state. But I was the only one there.
I padded quietly toward him. When I reached his cane, I picked it up carefully in my mouth. I set it at his side and stepped back. He showed no acknowledgement of my presence, so I gave a quiet woof.
“Go away, Finn,” the professor said without looking up. “Go back to the Academy. I’m done.”
The thought that I couldn’t get back inside with the door locked was only a minor concern. The professor needed to talk with Mezania, both for the sake of the Academy and for his own peace of mind. But I couldn’t tell him that.
I gave another woof and pushed the cane closer with my nose.
“Don’t you understand?” Briggs shouted. He grabbed the cane and threw it as hard as he could. It hit a tree across the clearing and disappeared in the long grass. He glared at me, his dark eyes glistening wetly. “Go deal with being a wolf, as that seems so difficult for you to do.”
I refused to let his words hurt. Instead, I crossed to the tree line to give him his space. I watched him for several long minutes. Professor Briggs didn’t change his position no matter how his leg must have hurt. He merely sat there, his head bowed with his hood now hiding his face from my sight. He was done.
I lowered my head and padded away. He was right. I couldn’t understand the depths of what he had gone through. My friend had died in a car accident because of me. Sebastian’s death lay heavily on my shoulders, and that would never go away. Yet that was nothing compared to the loss I had seen in his eyes at the mention of his girlfriend. He had loved her. He still loved her; that much was sure. How could he confront her with the guilt on his shoulders? I didn’t know what I would say to Sebastian. An apology could never be enough to make up for his death. Even if Briggs had given everything he had to try to save her, it was clear he didn’t think it was enough.
I looked up from my wandering to find myself at the cemetery. The tombs poked up from the long grass like teeth in a skull. Some were old and worn away. There were several large tombs at the far end along with marble statues of angels, winged children, and a black wolf with a silver seven on its shoulder. I wondered about the stories the grave markers represented.
“You’re back.”
Mezania drifted a few inches above her tombstone in a sitting position. Her yellow dress floated around her gently as though caught in a gentle ocean current. Her raven black hair drifted on the same current.
“You look sad,” she said.
She stepped down from her tombstone and crossed to me.
“Did you stop the fire?” she asked.
I nodded. Last night seemed so far away. I breathed out a sigh without realizing I had done it.
“Come on, wolf. It can’t be that bad,” she said, her voice sweet.
She set a hand on my back and moved it as if petting me. The night she had warned me of the fire, I had been able to feel her ghostly touch, but this time, I couldn’t feel it. I glanced back and saw that the hand she used was fainter than the other one. A pang struck my heart when I realized it was the one that the werewolf had taken. She had been through a lot, and yet she was trying not to be afraid for my sake.
I could understand what Briggs had seen in her. Mezania had a gentle smile and bright blue eyes. She was strong. I could see it in the way she held herself, comforting me despite her fear. She looked beautiful in the moonlight as though she was a haunted creature of the night, caught in the moon’s embrace in the same way that I was trapped as a wolf. I realized with a start that was exactly what she was.
‘The moonlight reveals our truth’. The phrase repeated in my mind. She was a spirit who was trapped there instead of moving on. No wonder she looked so lost.
I gave a small whine and rose.
“Leaving so soon?” she asked. Her voice was wistful when she said, “I like your company, even if you don’t say much.”
I took a few steps and then turned back and whined again.
Her eyebrows pulled together and
she tipped her head to one side. “I don’t understand.”
I took another step, looked at her over my shoulder, and whined again.
“You…you want me to follow you?” she guessed.
I waved my tail.
She looked uncertain. “I can’t go far from here.” She looked at the tombstones. “Though I would like to. But…I’ll try.”
I led the way slowly through the trees. When we were almost to the meadow, her edges began to fade. She paused.
“I don’t think I can go any further,” she said. “I-I’ll disappear, and reappear there.” She shook her head. “I can’t explain it. I don’t know why.” Her voice caught on the last sentence.
I crossed back to her and gave another whine.
She smiled down at me. “Alright, wolf. Just a little further then.”
She followed me into the clearing. I gave a small bark. Professor Briggs raised his head. His hood fell back from his face and his eyes widened.
“Zanie?” he whispered. He rose gingerly to his feet and said louder, “Zanie, is that you?”
A glance up showed tears on Mezania’s cheeks and a bright smile on her face. “It’s me, Trace,” she replied. She took a step forward, but nearly vanished from view. She stepped back quickly. “I can’t go any further.”
“I’ll come to you,” Briggs said.
He limped forward. The pain that twisted his face when he put his weight on his damaged leg must have been excruciating, but he limped forward again.
I ran to his side, determined to help in any way I could.
“Thank you,” the professor whispered.
He set a hand on my back and moved faster, able to keep his weight off his leg. I could feel how he was pushing himself; excitement took over where the fear had been.
“I-I can’t believe it’s you,” he said as we drew near. “I told myself it couldn’t be. Yet Finn’s description, the way you listened to the wind, it just had to be.”
Mezania nodded. Her tears made damp spots on her yellow dress. “Finn has been a good friend.” She swallowed and gave me an apologetic smile. “Even though I was scared at first.”
“He understands why,” Briggs replied. “I told him everything.”
She nodded again, her blue eyes bright.
When we reached her, the professor held out a hand. Mezania did the same. Her hand brushed through the professor’s.
He gave a sad smile, but nodded. “That’s fine,” he said. “We can talk.”
“Yes, talk,” she replied. But it was clear by her gaze that she wanted to be held by him so badly it was all she could do to stand there.
Briggs’ hand lingered in the air as if he felt the same way. He blinked back a bright shine of tears and sank to the ground. She did the same, her knees just above the grass. She straightened her dress, settling it around her like any girl who wanted to look good for the boy she loved.
“Y-you look so different,” she said shyly. “Older, I mean.”
I padded quietly away to give them their privacy.
“I tried,” Briggs began. He paused and I could hear his struggle to continue. “I-I tried so hard to save you.”
I put my ears back to make it harder to hear them and set my focus on finding the professor’s cane.
Chapter Fourteen
“When did you get in? I must have been asleep,” Alden said. “I was helping Lyris practice her chants until neither of us could focus anymore.” He shook his head. “The fire took a lot out of us.”
“How’s that going?” I asked, sitting up in my bed. The bell had rung a lot sooner than I was ready for.
“The chants? Harder than it sounds,” Alden admitted. “The language isn’t anything we’re familiar with. Brack gave up before either of us.” He gave a shy smile. “Although I’m not a warlock or a witch, obviously, Lyris says my enunciation helps her say the words properly.” He shrugged. “It’s nice to be useful.”
“You went first last night with the demon fire and showed bravery even though you didn’t know what you were getting into. That’s useful,” I pointed out. I rose from the bed and searched my luggage for clean clothes. I was going to have to figure out where to wash mine soon, or learn how to sew. If I kept phasing and tearing out of clothes, I was sure Mrs. Hassleton would like the excuse to kick me out.
“I was called on first. You would have done the same,” Alden replied.
I shook my head. “I’m not so sure about that. I have an issue with authority.”
Alden chuckled. “You realize admitting it is half the battle?”
“And being an Alpha is apparently the other half,” I replied with a chuckle of my own.
He shook his head. “You’re screwed.”
“Tell me about it.”
I pulled on one of the many dark blue and black Academy uniforms Mrs. Hassleton had given me. I shoved my tattered tee-shirt and pants from the night inside with a sigh, then noticed the charging cord for my phone.
“You coming?” Alden asked.
“In a minute,” I told him. “Hopefully there’ll be food left.”
“You’re pressing your luck,” he told me as he opened the door.
“I am by letting you eat first,” I replied.
He laughed and shut the door behind him.
I pulled out the cellphone. Four messages showed on the screen. I opened the phone with a strange trepidation tightening my chest. I read Drake’s texts first.
GHOSTS ARE REAL? WILL I GET TO MEET ONE IF WE VISIT?- DRAKE
The tone of his next text was completely different. A check showed that they were about four hours apart. I wondered if he had thought about my response from earlier.
IT’S NOT FAIR BEING STUCK HERE ALONE. EVERYTHING’S DIFFERENT EVEN THOUGH JULI AND DAD PRETEND NOTHING’S CHANGED. IT FEELS LIKE YOU’RE THE GHOST, LIKE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO DIED. BUT I WENT TO BAST’S FUNERAL. I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. DAD SAYS THAT BRIDGE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIXED LONG AGO. BUT I SHOULDN’T HAVE ASKED YOU TO SAVE ME FIRST.
I let out a slow breath and stared at the phone screen until his words blurred together. The first bell rang. Alden was right. There wouldn’t be any food left. Somehow my appetite had fled anyway. I typed slowly.
I’M STILL HERE. I PROMISE. YOU CAN TEXT ME WHENEVER YOU WANT AND WHATEVER YOU WANT. I’M GLAD YOU GOT TO STAY HOME. THIS PLACE IS MESSED UP. THERE ARE THINGS HAPPENING THAT I CAN’T FIGURE OUT. IT’S LIKE BEING THROWN INTO ONE OF THOSE OLD HORROR MOVIES DAD USED TO SHOW US. COMPLETE WITH VAMPIRES, GET THAT. AND THEY REALLY DON’T LIKE ME. I MEAN REALLY, REALLY.
I stared at the screen for another minute and then typed, BAST WAS A GOOD FRIEND, BUT YOU ARE MY BROTHER. I REGRET THAT HE DIED. I REGRET IT SO MUCH I CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH IT. BUT I DON’T REGRET SAVING YOU FIRST. I WOULD ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU FIRST OVER ANYONE. REMEMBER THAT, OKAY?- FINN
I scrolled down to the next text. Fortunately, Juli kept it light with, YOUR DAD’S NOT THRILLED THAT THE STROGANOFF WON, BUT HE’S NOT SURPRISED, EITHER. LET US KNOW WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR HOLIDAY SCHEDULE. WE CAN ALL COME AND PICK YOU UP. I’D LIKE TO SEE THIS SCHOOL!- LOVE JULI
Dad’s was a bit more to the point. DECK IS STARTED, BUT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. THUMB IS BROKEN, SO THAT PUTS A DAMPER ON THINGS. AND IT’S HARDER TO TEXT. WHY IS THAT? ANYWAY, I’LL SEND YOU PICTURES WHEN IT’S DONE. HANG IN THERE.- LOVE DAD
I wrote a text to both of them at the same time. I MISS YOU ALL. I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I FIND OUT ABOUT THE HOLIDAY BREAKS. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THE DECK WHEN I COME HOME. PUT DRAKE TO WORK TO COVER FOR YOUR BROKEN THUMB. HE’LL APPRECIATE THAT I SAID THAT. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT. I’VE GOT TO RUN TO BREAKFAST OR IT’LL BE GONE. THERE ARE SOME MAJOR APPETITES HERE.- LOVE, FINN
I didn’t know how much Dad had told Julianne about the werewolf stuff, so I thought I wouldn’t mention the creative assortment of students at the Academy until I found out for sure. The last thing I needed was to worry her.
I reached the cafeteria to find the doors locked. I turned away w
ith a sigh, accepting my fate of starvation until lunchtime.
“Hey, Finn,” Alden called through the crowd of students rushing to first period.
I couldn’t suppress a grin at the sight of him carrying something wrapped in a napkin. I only needed my nose to tell me that they were breakfast burritos that had been generously slathered with cheese and salsa.
“What did I do to deserve a friend like you?” I asked when he handed the napkin to me.
He chuckled. “You showed up in the hallway like a stray dog.”
That brought an answering laugh from me. “I did, didn’t I?”
He nodded. “Now to Professor Seedly’s. Let’s hope he doesn’t want hands-on help examining the flowering cactus again. My fingers can’t take it.”
When we reached the classroom, we found the students huddled near the wall instead of in the seats. Professor Seedly paced, by, muttered and looking under each of the desks. The nest in his hair tipped precariously with the bird on top holding tightly.
“Where is it? Where did I put it?” he said over and over.
The bell rang and still the professor wandered the room. He finished checking the desks, then started again.
“I can’t find it, Gerald,” he said, addressing the bushes when he passed them. “I can’t find it anywhere.”
“Um, Professor, can we help you look?” one of the girls asked.
Professor Seedly straightened. He stared at us in surprise as if he hadn’t expected to see students standing there.
“Yes, yes, you can help me look,” he replied. “Look everywhere.”
We did as we were told. Everyone peeked beneath the desks and in the bushes, careful not to disturb any of the more prickly ones.
Alden spoke up. “Um, Professor?”
He straightened and peered at the white-haired boy from behind a large fern. “Yes, Mr. Grim?”
“What exactly are we looking for?” Alden asked.
The professor’s white eyebrows rose. “Why, for an egg, of course!”
The students around me exchanged glances.
Alden looked at me. I cleared my throat and said, “Don’t you have one in your nest?”