by T. L. Walker
Complacency is no longer possible.
*******
The zeds were moving toward us now, and these ones were fast."Joey,"I snarled."There’s no more coming."
"Just wait,"he replied."Wait..."
"No!"I argued."Now!" They were practically on top of us when I stepped forward and swung my weapon at the closest one. There was a sickening thud as the nails bit into the zed’s cheek, and it took all of my strength to rip them free. The zombie reeled, slamming into one of the others and taking it to the ground. Before they could get up I moved in and smashed my mace down on their heads, again and again and again, until I was certain they wouldn’t be getting back up. I spun around to look for my brother, but the rain blinded me for a moment...and then suddenly another zed was there, too close for me to swing at. I braced the length of wood in both hands and drove it at the zed’s chest, but it had already started reaching for me, the ground was a mess of slick mud, and I lost my footing.
We went down in a tangle of limbs.
Looking back, I’ve wondered if I really did press the attack too soon, or if everything that happened next was simply inevitable. I heard Joey call out and felt his hand close around my forearm. He pulled me off the zed, yanking so hard that even as he let go to raise his axe the force he’d used propelled me across the muddy ground.
From that moment on, my memories of that night are nothing more than flashes of horror. A lightning bolt splitting the sky, highlighting the edge of Joey’s blade as he drove it down to take out the fallen zed once and for all. The return to black and the rumble of thunder that didn’t quite cover his cry of surprise. Me, screaming his name, feeling like I wasn’t even in my own body as I struggled to regain my footing.
A thud as Joey fell to the ground not a foot away, another flash of lightning showing him reaching out to me, his mouth open as he tried to call out to me, the gaping hole in his neck rendering him incapable of speech.
The moan of the zed that fell on my brother as I reached for the axe that had slipped from his grasp.
The feel of that axe as I took hold of it, the handle still warm.
The madness that came over me as I tackled the zed, forgetting my own safety in my need to kill it, kill it, kill it...
I woke with a start, the sunlight from a nearby window warm on my skin, and my first thought was, Just a nightmare. Thank God.
Until I realized that I was lying on Richard’s desk. The vet himself was standing over me, eyes wide, face white. I sat up so fast that we nearly knocked heads; he took a step back and raised his hands as if to ward me off."Careful now," he said, but the way he was looking at me belied the calm tone of his voice.
"What happened? Why am I here?"I suddenly realized how much pain I was in; my arms ached in ways they hadn’t for months now. I looked down at them, covered in caked blood and gore, and felt my stomach lurch."No, no, no, no..."
Another flash of memory. A pulverized zed at my feet. Turning and falling to my knees at Joey’s side. Clutching at him, refusing to let go even as someone tried to pull me away...
"Charlie. Charlotte. Right? Charlotte? You’re safe, okay? We’re all safe. The pen –"
"Where’s my brother?"
"I don’t think –"
"You said we’re all safe. Where’s my brother, Richard? Where’s Joey?"
He took another step away from me."I’m sorry, Charlie."
"You’re sorry? Sorry? Where is my brother? Don’t make me ask again!"
The vet closed his eyes and drew a deep breath."He was already gone when we got there. We...we made certain he wouldn’t...come back. And Mike and Daniel carried his body back here. We’ve got it locked away until we can give him a proper burial."
"Show me."
"Charlie, that’s probably not a good idea."
"Don’t say my name anymore."I turned, braced myself on the edge of the desk, and set my feet on the floor."Take me to my brother."
"Okay,"he relented."Okay. Come on."
I followed him out into the hall. He turned left and stopped at the very next door."We had to put him in here. It was either that or lock him up with your other friend."
"I thought you said he was..." I stopped, shook my head. I couldn’t bring myself to repeat it.
"Well, yes, but...better safe than sorry."
"How cliché." The words were out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying. Are you seriously being flippant about this, right now?
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Richard gave me one last concerned look before unlocking the door and pulling it open. I pushed by him as he fumbled for the light switch, falling to my knees in front of Joey’s body, which had been propped up against some shelves. His clothes were still wet and muddy, but I could tell that someone had washed his face and neck. They’d also covered his bite with some gauze, and I couldn’t help but feel grateful that someone had taken care of him. You sure as hell didn’t.
"Sorry, Joe,"I whispered. I wanted to turn my head away, but I made myself keep looking at him as I stood and backed out of the closet."We need to bury him. I don’t want him locked up in a closet like this."
"It may need to wait until tomorrow, and I’ll need your help. The boy, Mike, too. But the front gate is secure – the storm probably helped. Too much sound..."
"Yeah, great."I stopped myself; I was snapping at him for the wrong reasons. When I spoke again, it was to ask the next dreaded question."How’s Luke?"
"I’ve only had a moment with him, but he appears to be improving. And if that continues at its current rate, it will likely be safe to release him from confinement as early as tomorrow morning. He’s alone right now…well, except for your dog."
I wish I could say that such good news lifted some of the weight from my shoulders. But no, I wasn’t ready to allow that.
Not yet, anyway.
Instead I braced myself and headed back down the hall to check on Luke. And Richard was right – he looked half himself again. I, on the other hand, was such a mess that the moment Holden caught wind of my stench he skittered away to cower in a far corner. I decided to brush off his rejection for now, and instead crouched down in front of Luke’s cage, wrapping my hands around the bars in a vise-like grip. I wanted to touch him, but not with zed guts – and Joey’s blood – all over me.
"Hey,"I greeted him."How are you feeling?"
"Physically? Better. But..." Luke trailed off, shaking his head and looking away.
It was almost a relief, the fact that he clearly already knew about Joey. The fact that I didn’t have to speak the words myself.
"Yeah."There were a dozen things racing through my mind, things that I wanted to say, but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to spit them out."Yeah."
We sat there, so close and yet so far away, and neither of us spoke a word. People came and went, but none of them said anything to us until well after midday. It was Mike dropping in for the second time, and he finally spoke up."Charlie, we need help out here. If you’re able."
He sounded so downtrodden that I had to turn and face him."Help?" I repeated.
"Yeah. Virginia and Ethan are keeping an eye on the front gate, but Mabel hardly slept last night and she’s keeping Lauren busy. The rest of us didn’t get any sleep at all. We need to get that enclosure secured and post a guard to keep an eye on it until someone can fix the fence."
I gave him a sad smile. I could tell that he was practically dead on his feet, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him no."Sure, Mike. Just...give me a few minutes, okay? And please take Holden with you, I’m sure he needs to go out."
"No problem. I’ll wait outside. Come on, Holden." My dog didn’t even give me a second look; he trotted over to Mike and followed him through the door.
When they were gone I looked back at Luke."I don’t know if I can do it."
"You should, though."
"I know. I’ll come back as soon as I can."
"Don’t worry about me, Charlie. I’m too busy worry
ing about you."
"Hey, then maybe that means we’ll both be fine," I said with false brightness.
As I stood to leave, I thought about telling Luke that I loved him – but something stopped me. It was almost as if saying it so soon after Joey’s death would cheapen it."I’ll see you in a little while," I told him instead. And then I went to find Mike.
He was waiting just outside the long, low building. I turned and stared at it for a moment, truly seeing it for the first time. It’s practically a bunker, I mused as the heavy main door slowly clicked shut behind me.
"You ready?"Mike asked. I nodded, and he led me down the path, Holden snuffling along behind us as we made our way back to the pen where Joey had made his final stand against the zeds."Lauren has Mabel in the truck back near the front. We haven’t moved it yet because of the noise," he explained.
After that we walked in silence until we reached the broken gate. It appeared that Richard and Daniel had been passing the time piling up the zed bodies that littered the enclosure, though what they meant to do with them, I wasn’t sure. Burning would be best, but we couldn’t risk that now – even once the fence was fixed, lighting a fire that big would be dangerous.
But it won’t be long until we can’t handle the smell of them. "Have there been any more?"
Mike glanced at me out of the corner of his eye."No."
"Good. Let’s get this door fixed, and I’ll take first watch."
"You sure?"
I shrugged."I feel better when I’m being useful."
That wasn’t the whole truth – mostly I just didn’t think I could stand being in that building with Luke locked up in a cage and my brother’s dead body just down the hall. But Mike didn’t need to know that. If he’s not already thinking it, best not put it in his head.
"As long as Richard thinks it’s okay, we’ll all sure welcome the break," he smiled.
As long as Richard thinks it’s okay?"Oh, I have to run all of my decisions by Richard, now?"
"Come on, Charlie, you know I’m not saying that. You...well, you were in pretty bad shape last night. We’d all understand if you needed some more rest."
"I’m fine, Mike. And keeping busy will help."
Once we got Richard and Daniel to give up zed-moving duty, it didn’t take long to fashion a proper bar for the gate – and then, at my insistence, set a couple of extra boards across it just in case. I was finally able to shoo them away soon after we were finished, and once they were gone – even Holden wandered off after Mike – I lowered myself to the ground. I crossed my legs, staying several feet from the bars but keeping my back to the pen. Regardless of whether or not I’d be able to pick out the spot where my brother had fallen the night before, I couldn’t stand the thought that I might.
But I knew that I’d hear the zeds coming. Or at least falling down that hill.
The early spring morning was cooler than usual thanks to the rain, but soon the sun was beating down on me. I needed a shower more than ever before, yet somehow the idea of washing off the proof of what had transpired seemed as bad as baking in it the way I was just then.
It was Mike who brought me food later that afternoon, Holden still meandering along after him, and Mike who sat with me in silence as the sun disappeared behind the hillside that I refused to turn and face. Finally, after not saying anything for several hours, he finally asked,"Aren’t you tired?"
"From what? Sitting here?"
"No. Leaving the farm, and your mom. Me being sick. Luke being hurt. The trip up here."He paused."Last night."
"So are they just making you into their scapegoat? You get to be the one who has to follow me around and make sure I’m okay? Come on, kid, you’re worth more than that."
"Actually, Richard wanted to come out here, but I told him I’d do it. I thought you’d rather talk to someone you know."
"I don’t need to talk to anyone,"I insisted – and then I immediately realized my mistake."But yeah, I’m glad it was you."Wondering if my earlier silence had unnerved him, I reached my arm out and draped it over his shoulders."Holding up okay?"
"Yeah. But...how long are we going to stay here?"
I knew he wouldn’t like my answer."Until Luke gets better. Then we’ll all sit down and figure out what happens next."I chewed on my lip, wondering how to say the rest of what was on my mind."Hopefully we won’t have to stay too long." I pulled away from Mike and stood, finally
turning to face the enclosure behind me."Or much longer at all."
There’s a time and place for some things, but grief isn’t one of them.
*******
I slept like the dead that night. Yes, I know, very funny – but I did. Even though my bed was a pile of rough wool blankets next to Luke in his cage, being near him calmed me.
And I’m sure the shower helped, too. Richard was hesitant to use the generator, but Virginia guilted him into it."Look at the poor girl, Richard! She’s been wallowing in gore the entire day!"
I’m not sure what was more ridiculous – her calling me a ‘poor girl’, or the bit about me ‘wallowing in gore’. But the idea of a shower (especially a hot one) was too tempting to pass up."I really should scrub down. Make sure none of this shit got where it shouldn’t have." I forced a laugh, but Richard suddenly looked half panicked.
"Good thinking," he said brusquely, and the next thing I knew the generator was grumbling and I was led to a bathroom at the far end of the building. It was only equipped with a small stand-up shower, but I wasn’t in a position to complain – or even to care.
I’m not sure I’d ever been so grateful for hot water in all my life. Holden was still a bit wary of me afterward, but eventually I was able to coax him into sleeping on the floor next to me.
The next morning I woke early and sat up to find Luke standing over me, smiling. Though the past several days had clearly taken a toll on him, I was relieved to see that he was up and ready to go. I stood and we hugged each other through the bars.
"I’ll go find Richard," I mumbled into Luke’s neck.
He moved his head until his chin bumped mine, and we shared a brief kiss."Yeah, I could use one of those showers you told me about last night," he said as he finally pulled away.
"Oh, very funny," I automatically replied, then bit down on my bottom lip, my jaw tightening as Joey pushed his way to the forefront of my thoughts.
Luke, having realized his blunder a moment too late, closed his eyes and took a deep breath."Let’s just get me out of this cage."
I nodded and left the room, thankful that Richard hadn’t bothered to lock us in for the night. Holden followed me out, but ducked through the very next doorway. I peered in after him and saw Mike sit up in his own makeshift bed and scratch Holden behind the ears."Morning,"I said softly."Can you take Holden outside for a few minutes? I have to talk to Richard."
"Yeah, no problem. Good luck."
When I knocked on the veterinarian’s office door, a hoarse voice called out,"Come in." I opened it to find several candles blazing and the early morning sunshine pouring through the windows.
I shielded my eyes and caught a glimpse of Richard’s drawn, pale face."How long have you been awake?"
He shrugged."I couldn’t sleep. I needed to find these."He waved his hand over the messy pile of maps and blueprints that were strewn across his desk."I knew they would help us get that fence fixed...you see, I don’t know where they stored everything..."
"We’re not going to get anything fixed if you don’t get some rest. You’re probably the only one who knows this place well enough to figure it out."
"I’ll sleep later. I need to utilize the sunlight...I’d like to get that fence repaired first thing tomorrow." He then blew out the candles one by one.
"I came to talk about Luke."
"I figured. Much better, is he?"
"Yes. And we need his help, especially if you want to get started on the fence so soon."
"Of course. Give me a minute to straighten up, and I’ll come check o
n him."
When I returned to the room I shut the door behind me, glancing over my shoulder as I approached Luke."He’ll be here in a minute. He looks terrible, he hasn’t slept at all. Just thought I’d warn you." The last thing we needed was for Luke to say the wrong thing and irritate Richard into insisting that he stay locked up.
But when the vet arrived, he barely gave Luke a second glance before pronouncing him well enough to join the rest of us. My eyes met Luke’s; he gave me a crooked smile as Richard finally unlocked the cage.
"So where do we start?" I asked as Luke moved to my side and entwined his fingers with mine.
"I’ve got to work on figuring out the best way to get up there to repair that hole, but first I need to show you where you can..." He stopped and glanced out into the hall.
Joey."Right. Of course. Let’s go."
There was no sign of Mike and Holden, but I had to believe that they would keep each other safe. Luke and I followed Richard back around to the front of the park, where we cut off to the left, moving along the southeastern edge of the zoo. In the far corner, behind where, if I remembered correctly, they’d once kept some turtles and flamingos, there was an area of softer ground.
And beside it, two shovels.
"I’ll need your help later today, but for now...I thought it would be best..." Richard gestured helplessly.
"Yeah. It probably is. Thanks."
Once the vet was gone, I turned to Luke."You sure you can do this?"
"You’ll have to handle the heavy lifting, but I can certainly help."
"But...your hand..."
He glanced down at it; Richard had re-wrapped it the night before, so it was protected – but also ungainly."I’ll do what I can."
Luke was right – I did end up having to do most of the heavy lifting. But even as my skin was coated in dust, even when I broke into a sweat and lost that just-showered smell, I kept digging. The hole still wasn’t deep enough when Mike came to find us, but it was carved out and almost halfway there."El was freaking out again. Ethan calmed it down, and they fed it what they could, but you need to come back to the office."
"I’d rather not stop now," I told Mike.