Dear Ms. Carpenter, we regret to inform you . . .
Her stomach dropped. Her fingers grew slippery. She almost dropped the phone.
. . . no longer able to offer you the position . . . wish you the best of luck in your future.
Her future. Right.
She shoved her phone deep into her bag, stared blankly in front of her, and wondered when the hell future had become a dirty word.
***
No sooner had Jenna dragged herself up the stairs to the apartment than Kyrie opened her bedroom door. Jenna braced herself, ready for one of the hugs that Kyrie insisted could fix almost everything.
Instead, she found her arm being grabbed as Kyrie whirled her back toward the entry.
“Come on,” Kyrie said. “I have my orders.”
“Wait. What do— Kyr, let go. I don’t want to—”
“You don’t want to go anywhere. I know. Margie said you would say that.”
“Margie?” Okay, now this was starting to make sense. “Look, sweetie. I’m sure Margie means well, but I already had a drunkfest last night and—”
“Family Council.”
Shit. A social request could be ignored. But Family Council? Only if she were willing to risk imminent dismemberment—or, worse, have the entire clan descend upon her in her bedroom.
Her twinkle lights would never survive the onslaught.
“Can I pee first?”
“Nope.”
“Kyr, come on! This time of night, it’ll take fifteen minutes to get there, and you know Annie will be hogging the bathroom. My back teeth are floating.”
Kyrie tilted her head slightly, obviously debating the wisdom of avoiding the Wrath of Mom against violating the Geneva Convention.
“Fine,” she said at last. “You have two minutes. I’m waiting right outside the door, so don’t try anything funny.”
“Right,” Jenna tossed over her shoulder as she headed for the bathroom. “Because it’s so easy to escape from a windowless second-floor bathroom. Especially with a bum leg.”
“Don’t play the cripple card, Jenna. It doesn’t suit you. Now, move it. Mom expected us ten minutes ago.”
Sure enough, as soon as Jenna closed and locked the door, she heard the muted tones of Kyrie’s phone as a message was tapped out. Jenna dragged herself to the mirror and stared into it.
Shit.
Okay, she’d lied. She didn’t need to do anything in this bathroom except regroup. But after the day she’d had, she was pretty sure that a minute of privacy was allowed, especially if she was to be dragged off to Family Council.
Really, she should have seen this coming. Bree probably called Mom as soon as she walked out of her apartment that morning. It was a miracle they weren’t making Paige come home from Scotland.
Because Jenna knew that Paige wouldn’t hesitate to come, if things were bad enough. Just like Jenna would hop in the car, no questions asked, and drive home from wherever if Mom were to request her presence at a meeting to help one of her sisters.
Not that she was likely to have to worry about that now, thanks to her new name having been splashed by her father’s mud. But still. She would.
“I just hate being the reason for the meeting,” she whispered to the mirror.
“Who are you talking to?” Kyrie demanded from the other side of the door. “Are you plotting an escape?”
“Of all the . . . no.” Jenna flushed the toilet for the sake of appearance, ran her hands under the water, and opened the door, shaking her wet hands in Kyrie’s face. “There. Satisfied?”
Kyrie shrieked and raised her hands against the drops. Jenna grinned for the first time in hours.
“Serves you right for eavesdropping.”
No surprise, Kyrie didn’t say a word as they descended the steps and got into her car. Because, oh yes, she had to drive.
“In case I decide to make a break for it?” Jenna asked as she fastened her seat belt. “In case I happened to be stupid enough to think I could avoid Mom and Margie?”
“In case you were too upset to drive, idiot.”
Oh.
“I drove myself to class today. And home. Safely both ways, I might add.” Yes, even after the job bomb, she had stayed focused. It had helped that she’d driven the route more times than she could remember, but still. Jenna fully believed in giving credit where it was due, and damn it, if anyone deserved a Safe Driver award today, it was her.
“I know.” Kyrie sounded a little less irritated. “And honestly, I would have been fine with you going on your own, but you know Mom. She’s never going to feel okay about you being in a car in less than ideal conditions ever again.”
Yeah. Jenna could see that. To tell the truth, it was kind of heartwarming.
“I think I’m having an attack of the warm fuzzies,” she said softly.
Kyrie reached over and gave her hand a brief squeeze. “Enjoy it while you can. Margie will take care of that soon enough.”
***
Cole sat at his desk, staring at the blank computer screen. The cursor insisted on blinking at him in a constant rhythm that echoed his thoughts.
You love her . . . you love her . . . you love her . . .
All through the day, he kept coming back to Allison’s delighted exclamation. It pulsed through him in the background as he made himself go for a run, read some case files, brainstormed ways to respond to the article. It was always there. Steady. Constant. Just like the damned cursor.
You love her . . . you love her . . . you love her . . .
His rational mind kept saying it was impossible. Not this fast. He’d known Meredith for years before he felt certain enough to pop the question.
And yet, given how that had ended, maybe his hesitancy had been less due to giving love time to grow and more like the next logical step.
Jenna, he typed. And yeah. There it was. The grin he couldn’t quite suppress at the sight of her name. Even knowing that she wanted nothing more to do with him, the simple thought of her made his world lighter. Brighter. More hopeful.
That sounded a lot like love to him.
The grin slipped away. Pushed aside by the panic clogging his throat, no doubt.
And the damned cursor kept on beating.
***
Sitting at her mother’s dining room table, surrounded by all but one of the women she loved best in the world, Jenna had a pretty good idea how it felt to be a chimpanzee in the zoo. She hadn’t had this many eyes watching her every move since she woke up in the hospital and asked what happened.
“You all realize I’m going to be okay, right?” She clasped her hands in front of her, hoping to reassure them. “I’ve gone through worse than this in my life. I’ll survive.”
“We know that,” Margie said. “Wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”
“So why the big hoopla, with a Council and everything?”
“Because you might have made it through worse situations, but they’ve never been so public.” Bree’s face softened. “There are going to be repercussions.”
“There already were. I lost the job.”
“What job?” Margie edged forward in her chair. “The one with Cole’s election? We knew that.”
“No,” Jenna said. “One in Brockport. They made an offer yesterday. Today, they took it back.”
“Today, after your new name was in the paper,” Annie said. Jenna nodded. Bree let loose with a string of curses that left all of them staring at her, silent and slack-jawed.
“What?” Bree said. “You think I don’t know those words?”
“We knew that you knew them,” Neenee said. “I just don’t think I’ve ever heard them being put to such . . . such creative use before.”
“That’s because you weren’t in the room when I found out that Ken Doll was dumping Jenna.
” Bree seemed very pleased with herself. “Though I have to admit, half of it that time was celebratory because she was finally going to be rid of the miserable prick.”
“Mom, Bree said prick,” Annie said.
Neenee waved it away. “Hush. I’m waiting to see what comes out of her mouth next.”
It was so ridiculous, so typically Elias family, that Jenna couldn’t help but laugh. And if her laughter went on a little too long and was a little too loud, well, it was just them. Her family, who had always been there for her.
Her family, who she might not be leaving soon after all.
As consolation prizes went, a girl could do worse.
“They shouldn’t have done that,” Neenee said. “But if they were willing to throw you to the wolves after one newspaper article without even asking to hear your side, then really, you’re better off not working there.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“You’re well rid of them.” Bree, ever practical, was already tapping something into her phone. “But we can find—”
“Bree. Honey. I appreciate it, but I don’t think. . . . this probably isn’t the best time to send out my résumé, you know?”
“Horse puckies,” Margie thumped her bottle on the table. “This is the perfect time. You’ll be able to see what a place is made of. Whether they’ll stand behind you and your ability, or whether they’ll run at the first sign of trouble.”
“Yeah, like a certain candidate for mayor who couldn’t dump you off his team fast enough,” Annie said.
Oh no. Jenna might be thoroughly pissed at Cole, but she couldn’t let him be raked over the coals for something that wasn’t his fault. “That part is okay. We always agreed that if my presence ever became a problem, I would disappear.”
“Which is exactly what you should have said,” Annie replied. “But then he was supposed to go out there and tell everyone that you are you, not your father, and that he trusts you and believes in you.”
Kyrie nodded. “He should have stood up for you.”
“Yeah. Letting you take the heat like that, sweeping you under the rug . . . that was pretty damned slimy of him.” Bree stared out the window. “He should have known that this family has no patience for men who make a mess and then leave others to pick up the pieces.”
Jenna squirmed. Everything they were saying sounded right, at least on the surface. Everything they were saying was nothing more than a variation of things she had thought over the last day. And yet . . .
And yet, she knew it wasn’t like that. That he wasn’t pulling a Rob. He hadn’t bailed without warning, hadn’t tried to deceive her, hadn’t tried to do anything she wouldn’t have done except find a way for them to stay together. It had been wrong and misguided and stupid, but it had come from a good place. From a good heart.
And in return, she had pounced on it as an excuse to end things now. Just like Bree had said.
“Oh, hell,” she said out loud.
“What?” Neenee frowned at her. “You look like you just remembered something you would rather forget.”
“I kind of did.” Jenna glanced around the table. “Guys? I need to talk to Mom for a minute. Just us.”
“The hell you— Oof.” Margie grabbed her side where Bree’s elbow seemed to have made contact.
“We’re going upstairs,” Kyrie announced. “But I can’t guarantee how long.”
“Five minutes,” Annie said as she shooed the others out. “I’m setting the timer on my phone. After that, everything is fair game.”
Jenna would have expected no less from someone who made her living herding small children.
As soon as the thunder of feet on the aging steps faded away, Jenna turned to Neenee, who reached out and covered Jenna’s hands with her own.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” Neenee said. “So let’s cut to the chase. I know you’re in love with Cole.”
“Did Bree tell you?”
“She didn’t have to. When you started defending him against your sisters, that was all it took. But something has you scared.”
“I think I know what it is. But I have to ask you something. About—”
“About your father?”
Jenna nodded. Neenee’s grip tightened.
“If you’re wondering if I knew what he was doing, the answer is no. None of it. I did have some idea that there were money problems near the end, but never to the extent that it turned out to be.”
“That’s not what I was going to ask. I figured you wouldn’t have gone along with it. But what I was wondering is . . . if he had come to you and said, ‘Hey, I screwed up and cost you the one thing you wanted most, but I still want us to be together somehow’ . . . would you have done it? Would you have stuck with him?”
“Jenna, there’s a big difference between your father’s crimes and . . . whatever it is that Cole might have done. Which, as far as I can see, is really nothing. Unless there’s something that you haven’t mentioned, in which case I might have to kill him.”
“He wanted to hide me away. Get me out of the office, stop seeing each other until after the election, and then, you know.” She breathed in deeply. “Carry on.”
“You mean when it’s convenient for him?” Neenee’s eyes snapped. “I might have to let your sisters loose on him after all.”
“Bree thinks he did it because he was scared. Not about losing the election but because he was getting in too deep and he knew that was the one thing I couldn’t accept.”
“Oh.”
“And, um . . . Bree also suggested that I might have been scared, too. And that it might have made me just a little quick to go all sanctimonious on him.”
“Do you think Bree is right?”
“I don’t know.” Confusion lodged in Jenna’s throat. “Maybe.”
Neenee sat back, hands steepled, index fingers tapping slowly together in a posture Jenna knew only too well. It meant her mother was thinking.
It rarely ended well for the person on the other end of those thoughts.
“So you got heartbroken and pissed off because Cole wanted to hide you away like a dirty secret.”
“And lie to the voters.”
Neenee waved the words away. “Please, Jenna. You don’t give a rat’s ass about the voters and you know it. That’s just your noble excuse.”
“No it’s . . .” Honesty forced her to hesitate.
Neenee leveled one finger at her. “Bam.”
“I do care. Okay, not so much about the voters, but a little bit, I swear. The thing is . . . deliberately lying to them. That worries me.”
“Because you’re afraid the next step is that he’ll lie to you.”
And there it was. Cold and rough and raw.
“Yeah.” It was probably the hardest word she had ever uttered. “Yeah, Mom. I think that’s it.”
“Jenna, I can’t look in his heart and tell you what’s in there. Can’t predict the future, either, though let me tell you, if anyone should have had the right to do that, it’s me. But here’s what I do—well, not know, but suspect.”
Jenna leaned forward.
“I think people will do incredibly stupid things when they’re afraid. Especially when they’re afraid that they’re going to lose the things they love most. I know your father has told you all that he ran because he thought it would be easier if you thought he was dead, but I don’t believe that for a minute. I think he was terrified that we couldn’t forgive him. That we wouldn’t wait for him. And so he decided to leave on his terms.”
Which sounded terrifyingly similar to what Jenna herself might have done.
And yet . . .
“I guess maybe I don’t like feeling like I’m something someone should be ashamed of.” Her words came out low, muffled by the hurt clogging her throat.
“Interesting, since that’s the
way you’ve been treating yourself.”
“What?”
“Oh, don’t act so shocked. Look at what you’ve done. You changed your name. You fixed your sights on working where no one would know you. You refused to list any of the work you did when you were with Kendall on your résumé.”
“But those aren’t because of me! They’re all because I don’t want anyone to associate me with—”
“I know. And I understand. But Jenna, like it or not, your father and Kendall are part of you. One was a mistake and one was something over which you had no control, but they’re in your history. You can’t delete them like the browser history on your computer.”
“That’s for sure. Thanks to that stupid article—”
“Oh, Jenna, for the love of God, give it up.”
Well. So much for nurturing advice.
“Your sisters are going to come back any minute now, so let’s get this straight. Yes, you have had to deal with some massive crap from the two most important men in your life. But as far as I can tell, no one ever left you alone with five little kids, massive medical and legal bills, and nowhere to go.”
No. No, there was that.
“Life sucked for a long time for me, Jenna, but the one thing I had, besides you girls and Margie, was the knowledge that I was still worthy. I may have been foolish and trusted the wrong person, but you know what? I didn’t commit those crimes. I wasn’t guilty. And if the worst I had ever done was to love and trust someone who turned out to be a royal bastard, well, the only way that would be unforgivable would be if I let myself do it again.”
“But Mom—”
“No buts, Jenna. You made mistakes. You screwed up. But you didn’t do anything criminal or despicable, so for God’s sake, stop punishing yourself.”
“All I wanted was a fresh start.”
“So make one.”
“But how? I can’t get away from it now. Three minutes on Google and anyone can find out who I really am.”
“Then go out there and do something that will amaze people. Something new, something from you, so that when people look you up they’ll see what you’ve been doing. Not your father, not your ex, not the guy who wanted to keep seeing you. You.”
Life of the Party Page 24