Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3)

by Stewart, Barbara

  “And then I’ll show you how to give her a sponge bath!” Hatchet quipped.

  “Whatever,” Carlee said again and they all laughed. But she did think about Matthew and herself having those moments alone.

  Ross flipped back the covers on her left side and pulled her leg out, bending, rubbing, and massaging it as he did. He bent it up, pulling lightly to stretch it several times before he moved to her right side and turned to Matthew. “Your turn.”

  Matthew took her leg and mimicked the movements that the therapist had done. Ross only stopped him once to show him proper extension of the stretch. With every move he made, Matthew’s eyes were locked on Carlee and hers on his with a grin on her face. Ross took one arm and did the same, bending, stretching, and massaging, and Matthew did the other.

  He rolled Carlee first to her left side and massaged her back and shoulders, and then went to the other side of the bed to do the same. “We’ll leave this one to me for now, but you can rub her shoulders and continue the arm and leg stretches throughout the day. It’ll make it easier on her when we are finally able to get her out of the bed. I’ll be back tomorrow morning. Mr. Davis can you take over?”

  “Call me Matthew,” he said, and emphatically added, “Yes, I can!”

  ~ ~ ~

  Hatchet returned to the bedside with a pan of warm water, the shower gel Geni had brought previously, and a washcloth.

  “Hatchet, wait,” Carlee motioned for her to come closer and whispered in her ear. “When can that tube come out?”

  “Soon as we’re ready to get you out of the bed; we’re working on it, missy,” she whispered back and rolled Carlee to her side as the therapist had done and began to gently wash her back. She went to the other side and did the same. She turned to Matthew and said, “Here’s a clean gown, and yes,” she said turning to Carlee, “for now, this is the gown. Matthew, you can wash the rest as you continue the stretch and massage that Ross showed you. I’ll give you a few minutes. Don’t know as I’ll be doing a BP check just after this ordeal, but I’ll be back,” she said with a wink and closed the door.

  Chapter Seven

  Saturday, Andy and Geni arrived around nine in the morning. Andy happily thought that Carlee looked rested – refreshed actually. He was already dreading that Geni was leaving the next morning.

  Tamara followed right behind them. “Well, good morning! I’m happy to see that you are responding well to everything. How are you doing with the thickened liquids? Any nausea?”

  “No,” Carlee said. “When can I eat something real? I’m starving…”

  Her words brought a laugh from everyone. We’ll try you on some porridge and see how that goes, and we’ll think about lunch later. I’d like to spend a few minutes going over the radiotherapy process. You are all welcome to stay and listen,” she said looking to Geni and Andy, “because I believe family plays a big part in recovery and treatment – in many ways. You’ll be visiting with my artist in the next few days…”

  “Artist?” Andy asked.

  Tamara laughed, “I like to make this a comfortable experience and artist sounds more casual then technician.”

  I like her, Carlee thought as the doctor talked to Andy.

  “As I told you before, we have to be very precise when we begin, so we will mark you up to make sure we get it just right. We’ll take you to the machine and I’ll line up the beam that will be used. I have very exact measurements to get us exactly where we need to go. Next, Candice will begin marking so that we hit that exact spot each time. We may have to shave a little more around the surgery site so that we have plenty of room to do so. We’ll put you in an immobilization device and make molds that are exact to you, your head, and upper body – much like a cast – this will assure that you are in the same position every time during treatment. That’s very important. I like to use shields as well, to assure that none of the radiation beams stray to good tissue. We call all of this the simulation process; it’s like a practice run for all of us before actual treatment. I know that was a lot of information, so we’ll pause there and talk about what’s next after we see this step through. Any questions at this point?”

  Carlee looked around the room as the process was explained, and she saw anxiousness all around. “So Doc, what color do you use?” she asked and they all looked at her.

  “I’m sorry?” the doctor replied in question.

  “The ink stuff to mark my head, what color is it? I need to know so I can plan my wardrobe.” She said it so seriously that everyone remained in a hushed state. “Hello? Is anyone listening to me?”

  Suddenly, Tamara realized that she was trying me make light of the situation to put everyone else at ease and responded, “Red; it’ll match your natural color scheme!” and they all laughed. “Carlee, I’m going to love going through this with you!” the doctor told her, thinking about all the patients she’d worked with who’d had such negative reactions to the experience ahead of them. “We’ll see how you feel in the next day or so and get this started. I’ll see you later; good day, all.”

  ~ ~ ~

  A little later, Hatchet came in with a tray for Carlee. “Mmm, porridge,” Carlee said with a bit of a snit. Hatchet lifted the lid.

  “Wait! Oh my goodness! Is that what I think it is?” she asked excitedly, everyone craning his or her necks to see what was in the bowl.

  “You were wrong,” Hatchet said, directing her sarcasm to Andy.

  “About?” he asked with a curious smile.

  “There are grits to be found in London! I had to dig - deep I tell ya - but I found them! I read that just a touch of bacon drippings makes them really good, but I wasn’t sure the belly could handle that, so just a little butter today,” she said with a big smile, proud of her surprise. “I’ll be gone for a while. Rena will check on you and I’ll see you later.”

  “Hatchet, wait, please. I need your help with something before you go.”

  Word was out that Carlee was in the hospital, and she had received several arrangements of flowers throughout the days she was there and more arrived that morning.

  “There are so many of these flowers; can you ask if someone who isn’t getting flowers would like some of these?”

  “I would be happy to talk to the volunteers and ask them to accommodate that request. How thoughtful,” she said.

  “We will pull the cards, but there are so many that I’m not enjoying the flowers so much, just the thoughts.” Geni watched her - not the spoiled child of a rock star at all, but a practical, down-to-earth beautiful young-woman.

  ~ ~ ~

  Geni talked Matthew into going home for a while to get some real rest and a shower. While he was gone, Carlee dozed. Geni stepped out to the solarium to make some calls, and while it was just Andy in the room Carlee stirred.

  “Hey, Papa. Where’s Geni?”

  “She had a few calls to make to get things ready to head home. You doin’ OK?”

  “I just still feel really tired. Hatchet said part of it is the lingering effects of the anesthesia, and that it might take another day or so to go away. I’m sad that Geni is leaving; I understand that the rest of her world is waiting, but I have loved her being here. I hate that she is leaving us.”

  “Me too,” he said. “I’m going to miss her.”

  “Papa, I don’t know how to explain it, but in the night, after the surgery, I felt Mama here. She was comforting me, giving me peace, I think.”

  “I know that feeling,” he said in a quiet reflective voice. “I’ve felt her myself the last week or so.”

  “She’s telling us it’s all going to be alright.” Carlee looked at him, and he knew she wasn’t just referring to her health.

  “I like Geni. A lot, Carlee.”

  “I know, and I can see that she likes you too.” She turned to look at him. “It’s OK, Papa; Mama’s been gone a long time. Live. This last week has made me keenly aware of what a precious gift life is. Live, Papa.”

  “I love you, sweet girl,”
he said leaning to her, placing a tender kiss on her forehead.

  ~ ~ ~

  Geni was on her way back and stopped outside when she heard them talking. It wasn’t that she was eavesdropping, she just heard them and didn’t want to intrude. ‘Live’ she’d heard Carlee say, and she hoped that they both – Carlee and Andy - did just that. Life is a precious gift; Carlee was right. But she felt other gifts that she hoped Andy realized. She was falling in love with him. She wasn’t sure she could say the words, unsure where she fell in his life, so she would keep it to herself – for now.

  ~ ~ ~

  Matthew returned around one to find Carlee asleep. “Did she eat?” he asked.

  “They brought yogurt for lunch and she sucked it down like she hadn’t eaten in days. Oh wait,” Geni laughed, “she hasn’t! Hatchet said they were going to prepare something more solid for dinner and see how she responds,” Geni said.

  “You two are going to have an early morning; you should go rest up and pack. I saw the empty suitcase on the bed. She’s fine, and I’m staying tonight.”

  “Matthew…” Geni began.

  “Mom, I showered, had a bite to eat and a good nap. I’m not leaving her. Go,” he responded.

  Carlee stirred at their conversation. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, she looked around. “What’s going on?”

  “Andy is taking Mom home so she can pack. She’s on that early flight home, and they need to get some rest,” Matthew said, leaning to kiss her.

  They visited a while longer, and finally Geni rose and went to Carlee’s bedside. “I’ll see you next week,” she told her and leaned to kiss her cheek. “I’m going to take care of some things and gather up lots of love and kisses to bring back to you.”

  “Be safe. I want you to come back,” Carlee said and felt a lump in her throat.

  Andy walked to the bedside, and Carlee reached to put her arms around his neck. As she did, he remembered every time in their life together that she had done the same, and he wanted to cry. “I’ll see you in the morning, sweet girl. I’ll get Geni off to the airport and then I’ll come straight here. I love you,” Andy said as he turned to leave.

  “Papa?” Carlee said in a soft voice, fighting back tears of her own. He turned to look back at her. “I love you.”

  “I love you right back,” he responded.

  ~ ~ ~

  After they were gone, Matthew joined her in the bed, and they watched TV for a bit. Finally, his body spooning hers, they napped. When they woke he told her, “I’ve got a quick errand to run; got something I need to pick up. I’ll be back in an hour tops. Rest.” Nuzzling her neck, he whispered the words in her ear.

  “Where are you going?”

  “It’s a surprise. I love you. An hour,” he repeated and kissed her.

  It was quiet in the room, and she closed her eyes. Her thoughts drifted to Andy and what was going on in his life, and what he continued to give up for her. She raised the head of bed the small amount that she’d been advised was allowable so that she was sitting up just a little. She reached to the drawer where Geni had slipped the book. Taking it in her hands, it seemed to fall open to the exact place she knew she wanted - her mama’s last message to Andy.

  I think back on all the things we’ve shared, and I love you all the more. I hope you know that you made my life better these last months. What you gave up to be with me… I can’t imagine if it hadn’t been this way. I don’t know if I would have had the will to go on if you hadn’t been there, being able to share one more day with you…

  Carlee read the words, her fingers delicately caressing the pages, and her eyes filled and spilled, at the emotions she felt.

  I saw ‘Rent’ on Broadway a while back. Megan had a small part. Recently, the lyrics from one of the songs keep going through my mind over and over… “525,600 minutes… how do you measure a year in the life…?”

  Oh, the numbers of minutes I keep reliving, keep remembering, keep wishing for… They have been like flashes of light the last few days; some overwhelm me and some make me so happy that I believe I can make it a little longer…

  I want my life to be remembered as a quilt. Wrap it around you. Let it warm you. Each of you is a piece of my quilt of life. Each of you put there for a different reason. Maybe your block of time was a small one, maybe you were the center block of color in a particular pattern in the quilt of my life, but each of you are an integral piece. Some blocks in that quilt are the cornerstones, maybe of the whole quilt. Maybe it was a cornerstone of a part of the pattern. Security. Honesty. Integrity. Love. Some blocks were the strength I needed at a certain time. Some blocks are the compassion I needed at an especially difficult time. But each block represents love. My quilt would not be complete without your part in the pattern. I want to leave pieces of my quilt for each of you.

  As she read the words, she started to cry. She could feel Beth’s emotions so strongly. Carlee knew her fears because she felt them, but her mama’s diagnosis was so much more finite. “Is this your way of sharing yourself with me today – bringing these words to me?” she said aloud.

  At that moment, Danni Matchett entered the room. “You talking to me?” she asked.

  “No, my mama,” Carlee replied wiping her eyes. “I guess you do go home, Hatchet; I missed you today.”

  “Just had to sneak off for a shower and a few quick winks.” She sat on the side of the bed to take her blood pressure. Seeing the book that Carlee held, she said, “I read that.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes, years ago, and I just finished it again yesterday.”

  “Is that why you want to take care of me?” Carlee smiled, wiping tears from her cheeks.

  “I reckon it is. I told you before that there was something about you that made me want to see it through with you. Now I remember why,” she replied.

  “I almost know it by heart. I know exactly where whatever I need is in the book and somehow it just opens to that place,” Carlee said as Hatchet did her work.

  “After I read it the first time, I wondered what happened to the ‘little red-haired girl’, that Andy fell in love with,” Hatchet replied with a tender smile. “Now I know. Let’s get you freshened up some. I passed the hubs on my way in, and he said he was off to get a surprise for you.”

  “I need to call him real quick.” She took the phone and dialed, “Hey, is your surprise anywhere near home?”

  “It can be; what do you need?” he asked.

  “The quilt in the closet, the smaller one. Can you please bring it back with you?”

  “I can do whatever you need,” and he suspected that he knew why she wanted it.

  ~ ~ ~

  After Matthew stopped by the flat to grab the quilt, Andy and Geni were alone. He was helping her pack for her trip. “I’m leaving a lot of this, not taking the suitcase, just the small tote,” she mumbled.

  “That means you’ll be back,” Andy said with a happy voice.

  “I told you before that I was coming back.”

  “Are you coming back because you want to? Because you’ll miss me?” he teased.

  “I will miss you,” she said, not making eye contact with him, instead focusing intently on the shirt she’d refolded twice already. Finally she sat with the shirt on her lap and looked up to face him. “I’ve enjoyed this time with you, enjoyed the nights wrapped in your arms as you held me. Our time together has been special.”

  She took a big breath to continue, “I don’t want to leave you. I find myself enjoying you more and more. I don’t want to go,” she said. “But I have to take care of some things at home. Our departure was so sudden that there are things left undone.”

  “Don’t forget what you are leaving behind undone here,” he said.

  Her head whipped up, meeting his eyes. When she did, she saw longing. She rose and quickly turned back to the few items she was packing.

  Andy rose; placing his hands on her shoulders, he turned her to face him. Looking in her eyes he took her face in hi
s hands, fingers caressing the skin on her cheeks, he drew her near and leaned to kiss her.

  They’d shared kisses before, but this one was different. She looked in his eyes and felt herself drowning in them, sinking into a pool of molten gold; she felt the heat that went with it, too. This kiss was passionate and unexpected. She felt her knees to go weak, shaking as though the ground beneath her was moving.

  “Andy…” she whispered, but the parting of her lips to allow the sound of his name to escape only gave the opportunity for the kiss to deepen. She felt like she should break away, come up for air, but she couldn’t bring herself to break the hypnotic spell he seemed to hold over her.

  Leading her to the bed, wrapped in his arms, he let one hand slip away to place the tote she’d been packing on the floor. He sat down, moving to the middle of the bed, easing her along with him. She lay in his arms, breathless. “I just want to hold you, just like this, all night.”

  She rolled into his arms; his body spooning hers, he held her. His warm breath sent shivers up her spine, and he pulled her closer still.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Now, we’ll freshen you up a bit,” Hatchet said when she finished checking the monitors for Carlee’s blood pressure and such.

  “Quick. I want to hurry so I don’t miss Matthew’s surprise!” Carlee replied, giddy.

  “We’ve got a few minutes,” Hatchet smiled.

  Hatchet prepared the pan of water, grabbing Carlee’s shower gel and soft washcloth. Ashlee, the aide helped her bathe. Hatchet was helping her slip into a new gown as Matthew came in the room.

  “Perfect timing!” Carlee said, excitement in her voice as she saw him with two big bags.

  Hatchet left and returned a moment later with a couple of flameless candles. She set them around the room. As she left them, she turned the overhead light out and closed the door behind her.