Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3)

by Stewart, Barbara

  “I called Deb and Dan; I want to take you today.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Just ‘cuz,” he said with a smile.

  “I’m OK, Matthew….”

  “I know,” he interrupted, “but I still want to go with you. I want to know what’s going on too.”

  ~ ~ ~

  “I’m hungry,” she said when they were on their way.

  “What? I haven’t heard those words pass your pretty pink lips in a while!”

  “I haven’t felt hungry. Today I feel like I want to eat, not like I have to eat.”

  “Do you want something before we go in?” he asked.

  “Might oughta wait ‘til we come out,” she smiled. “Just in case…”

  Tamara was waiting when they walked in. “Good morning,” she said, and for some reason, Carlee felt the need to hug her. “Well, this is nice; I was worried about you after last night.”

  “I know she’s in good hands,” Carlee smiled. “I’m more worried about Johanna.”

  “Hatchet, as you call her, made her go home around three this morning to get some rest; she’d been there since nine yesterday morning. I’ve already called and she’s back. Because I know that you know these things, I’m going to explain to you what I know you heard last night. Early on, she was having a hard time with concentration; she was emotional and irrational. They had her tested for mononucleosis and a barrage of other things. They finally found a mass in the cerebrum and went in to remove it. She went through a low dose of radiotherapy and it seemed she was doing well.”

  “When she came to the hospital just before you met her, she was plagued with headaches and pain all through her body. She was unsteady on her feet with some slurred speech. Steroids eased up on some of that, but they determined she couldn’t handle another brain surgery; she was too fragile. So we decided to try a higher dose of radiotherapy this time. It was a good course, but then she wasn’t responding, and then last week we noticed some breathing problems and she wasn’t eating.”

  “When Johanna called rescue, she was having a seizure. With her hair gone, we noticed a thick lump forming at the base of her neck. You heard the term ‘high-risk’ last night, because of the location. It’s spread to the spine. A lumbar puncture - spinal tap – gives the impression that it’s in the bone.”

  Carlee had a million questions, but she couldn’t spit any of them out. Finally, the doctor said with a smile, “Let’s go get this over with so you can go rest, because I know you’ll be wanting to go see her.”

  ~ ~ ~

  When she came out after treatment, she was glad to see Matthew there waiting and not Deb this time. “Ready?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Still hungry?” he asked.

  “I am.”

  “I have a surprise,” he said, slipping his arm around her shoulder as he led her toward the car.

  “Quick, something quick,” she said.

  “Under control,” he said and closed her door.

  He drove a few minutes and when he turned the corner, Carlee felt a big grin creep across her face. “Six! But Matthew, I’m not dressed appropriately.”

  “They’re all waiting for you. Come on.” She pulled the soft cotton beanie cap off and took a bright yellow scarf out of her bag and tied it around her head. Her eyebrows and lashes had fallen out, so she did a quick wispy stroke to her eyes and brow area with a pencil and added a touch of lipstick from her bag. She turned to Matthew for approval.

  “Almost perfect.” He leaned to kiss her, and then looked, “Perfect now; your lips were a little too pink.”

  She smiled, and he came around the car and took her hand. When they entered, Damon Ware, the manager, was at the desk, hanging up the phone as they approached.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Davis! We’ve been waiting on you! Follow me,” he said and Matthew held her hand as they went to the private dining room. When she peeked in, Cook was waiting with open arms.

  “Good morning, lovely!” he said, hugging her gently. “I’ve got your favorite almost ready to pop out of the oven. Fresh coffee is on the way! I’m so happy to see you looking so well! I just want to hug you again, but with the mister standing here, I reckon I should just go get your breakfast!” he laughed. She looked, and there was a small vase of daisies on the table, and Matthew slipped his arm around her shoulder.

  Once she was seated, Cook returned with fresh warm brown sugar scones, clotted cream, and coffee. He served and turned to leave them. “Now don’t go slippin’ out without seeing me.”

  “Best I could do on short notice,” Matthew said and took her hand. Bringing it to his lips, he placed a tender kiss there, and nibbled on delicate fingers.

  “Don’t think this makes up for that romantic dinner!” she laughed taking small bites of the scone on her plate, but enjoying it immensely.

  “Not a chance!” he laughed.

  ~ ~ ~

  An hour and a half later, they were at the flat, and Carlee headed to bed for a nap. Matthew sat beside her with his laptop, typing with one hand, rubbing her back with the other. She slept for an hour, and he put the laptop aside and slid down the bed, wrapping his body around hers. “Wake up,” he whispered, nuzzling her neck as he did.

  “Hey handsome,” she said with a sleepy voice and Matthew wanted nothing more that to stay right there. But he knew she wanted to go.

  ~ ~ ~

  He watched her when they were in Kyliejo’s room; she looked better to him than she had in a long time. The little girl was awake, watching a program on TV.

  “What’ya watching?” Carlee asked. Kyliejo looked up and smiled.

  “It’s a princess show; I love princesses,” she seemed alert, and Carlee looked around noticing the IV bags, thinking they were keeping her comfortable.

  “Me too! I think we should have crowns and be the princesses of the hospital. When I was here, Matthew would crawl in the bed with me to watch TV; may I join you?”

  Kyliejo nodded, and Matthew smiled as Carlee got in beside her. She wasn’t much bigger than the little girl. “Johanna, how about a cup of coffee?” he asked.

  “I’d like that.”

  When they were gone, Hatchet came in, “What is going on here?” she said with a big laugh.

  “Shh, we are princesses, and we’re watching a movie,” Carlee said holding a finger to her lips and Kyliejo giggled. “Hatchet, got any pink and yellow paper and a pencil? Oh, and tape and scissors?”

  “I have my colored pencils!” Kyliejo added.

  “Paper. Tape. Scissors,” Hatchet said, adding, “Your wish is my command, your highness,” as she left the room.

  “But what will we make?” Kyliejo asked.

  “We’re gonna make crowns!”

  By the time Matthew and Johanna returned Kyliejo and Carlee were in the bed wearing the crowns they’d made. Hatchet came in behind them, and curtsied. Matthew smiled, watching Carlee, and thought, what a different soul she has.

  ~ ~ ~

  Later that afternoon, Matthew had an idea. He stepped into the hall and made a call. “Got a minute?” he asked when Andy answered.

  “Sure. But real quick, let me tell you that I’m heading south for a few days in the morning and then I’ll be back Wednesday night. Your Mom’s gonna stick around for another week.”

  “We’ll be anxious for your return. I want to do video chat on the phone, but I want to tell you that Carlee’s up in the bed with Kyliejo, and I didn’t want you to freak out when you saw her in a hospital bed,” he laughed. “They are princesses; do you have a song you can sing to them? I think Carlee will love it.”

  He thought a moment, and Matthew heard him call out, “Percy, Megs, come here, I need your help. The girls are here,” he told Matthew.

  Matthew hung up and went to set the phone up for Carlee and Kyliejo. Carlee looked up, and Matthew smiled as the phone rang, and she smiled even bigger when she saw it was her papa.

  “Hey there!”

  “I love the
crowns! We have a surprise for you!” he scooted Percy and Megs into sight so Carlee could see them, and they could see her and Kyliejo.

  “I asked the girls if they’d ever seen “The Little Mermaid” movie. I remembered that it was Carlee’s favorite when she was really little; she wanted to be Ariel,” he laughed. “They told me they had it, so I asked if they knew the prince song and they said they did. Carlee, feel free to sing along, I know you know it!”

  Some day my prince will come

  Some day we’ll meet again

  And away to his castle we’ll go

  To be happy forever I know

  Some day when spring is here

  We’ll find our love anew

  And the birds will sing

  And wedding bells will ring

  Some day when my dreams come true

  And when they finished singing, Andy said, “Jumpin’ jellyfish, Ariel, I’ve never seen you in such a good mood!”

  “Ah Sebastian, it’s the music! It’s so wonderful; it makes me want to sing and dance!” followed by laughter and giggles from all of them.

  Geni stood at the corner of the wall, and watched from the dining room. Rock Star… she thought and smiled.

  “Papa, I’ll call you when I get home.”

  “Princess Kyliejo, I’ll see you soon,” he said. “Carlee, I love you.”

  ~ ~ ~

  When they were home for the evening, Carlee’s good spirits remained. “They have her comfortable,” she said, “for now, Hatchet said that’s all they can do.”

  “Johanna told me that Kyliejo’s dad won’t come see her. She said he told her he ‘can’t handle it.’ That makes me want to cry. I can’t imagine what she must feel.”

  “Numb,” Carlee said, not missing a beat. “She feels lost and numb, and now sick.”

  Matthew wrapped her in his arms and lifted her to the kitchen counter. “Did you ever feel angry at your dad?”

  “Angry?” She thought a minute and finally said, “No. Not angry. When he was still alive, I felt sad, but Papa was always there to take that emotion away. I know he was angry, Papa I mean. As I got older, I was confused. But mostly I was just hurt. What’s for supper?” she asked, changing the subject.

  “What’s your taster tastin’?” he asked.

  “Pizza, but we’d better go with the white sauce and spinach; I don’t know about the red sauce yet.”

  “I’ll call for delivery.”

  “No!” she said. “Drive me around to go get it. I feel like I’ve been cooped up here for weeks. Oh wait! I have!” she laughed and Matthew loved the sound of it.

  ~ ~ ~

  Later, as they lay in bed, Matthew pulled her closer. “Carlee, I want to tell you something; it’s really important. I don’t want to make you cry, so I want to make sure I say this right.”

  She leaned back to look in his eyes, those smoky eyes that she loved looking into because when she did, she saw love. “What is it?”

  “I’ve watched you with Kyliejo the last few days…” he paused to think, his thoughts making him emotional. “You will be a beautiful mother someday, and I can’t wait. Whether we can make a baby or we are blessed another way, I want to have a child with you.”

  She said nothing; she wasn’t sure she could, so many thoughts, so many fears… Finally, she curled closer; pressing her body to his, she whispered in his ear, “Maybe we should practice, just to make sure we’re doing it right…”

  Chapter Sixteen

  The week and a half that Andy was in the states was busy and full. He drove south to visit family and take care of some things at home. He went to the studio and went over some things with Marco. Adaleigh had been working on some new material and had just left for an engagement the day he arrived.

  “How’s my girl?” Marco asked.

  “Seems she’s on the upside,” Andy said with a smile. “Scary shit there for a while, but she’s Carlee - always ‘up.’”

  He talked about Geni, and Marco saw a different happiness about him and was happy for his good friend. They talked about Adaleigh and the music she was working on.

  “She’s got some great stuff for this one,” Marco said and did a playback.

  Andy kicked back in the chair, feet on the console, eyes closed, as he did when he listened, and heard what Marco was sharing. He could feel it in his soul, it was that good, but when he sat up, all he could think was that he didn’t miss being here all of a sudden. “You’re doing a great job; it sounds sexy and soulful.”

  “Had a great teacher,” Marco laughed. “I learned what to listen for.”

  “The guys will be here tomorrow for some quick rehearsal time,” Andy said, and Marco noticed the grin on his face. “They’re staying at the house; it’ll be like old times.”

  “You are looking forward to this!” he laughed.

  “I am, but it makes me happiest knowing that it’s a one-time thing. I’m too old for this shit,” Andy laughed. “We’ve been going back and forth with text messages, phone calls and emails over a playlist.”

  “What’ya got?” Marco asked.

  “Oh, the obvious and a few I’m struggling with,” he replied honestly. “You know the hits that everyone will want to hear, but I don’t want to sing.”

  “Like?”

  “Well, we’re thinking about opening with Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back,” “Traveler,” “You Know the Way,” and since every time it plays in a bar and everyone goes crazy, “Simple Life.” Nathan says we have to do “Timeless” and “Forbidden Place.” I can handle “Forbidden Place;” it will remind me of Bethy, but I’m really struggling with “Timeless.”

  There was a long pause, and finally in a sad voice, he continued. “I know I didn’t write it for, or about her, but that song resonates so clearly to me that it’s her song… Those last few days before she passed - it seemed she wanted to hear it over and over; she repeated lyrics…”

  “I know, I’ve seen you have to work your way through that one many times,” Marco said. “It’s a timeless classic,” a comment that had them both laughing.

  “Got a couple new things in the works - one that I’m working on for Carlee, and of course we’ll close with “One For The Road,”” Andy thought a minute before he continued. “Nathan wants me to do a couple of my singles.”

  He sat quietly a moment, and Marco watched. He could see the wheels turning, that ‘deep in thought look’ that he knew so well, and wondered where his friend’s thoughts had gone. Finally Andy looked up.

  “They told Carlee that there is a possibility, ‘nothing carved in stone’ they said, that infertility could be a result of the radiation.” Quiet again, Marco waited for him to continue.

  “Marco, if you could see her with that little girl… I just pray that they can have children – she will be a great mother.”

  “So tell me about the new song,” Marco said attempting to give him some relief.

  “When this whole medical ordeal started with Carlee, I woke in the middle of the night, and this song popped in my head – you’ll hear it later. Right now I’m working in something Carlee said to me the other day.”

  “Oh, knowing that sweet thing, it was probably good,” Marco laughed.

  “It was a bad day - the day before she shaved her head – she called the little girl’s mother and invited them to come over, and Johanna, the mother, was telling Carlee that the father had left them when Kyliejo got sick. It had Carlee an emotional wreck, and I went to sit with her for a minute. I told her I loved her, and how proud she made me feel. She’s so passionate, Marco. And I told her that I was proud to call her my daughter. ‘Those aren’t just words,’ she told me, ‘It’s a place.’ And when she explained what she meant, she said, ‘Any man can be a father, but you, you are the best papa I could ever imagine, and I can’t imagine my life without you. You are a place in my heart.’ That ‘you are a place in my heart’ meant so much to me, and it stuck in my head, and I couldn’t put it aside.”

  �
��She’s just special,” Marco said.

  “That she is.”

  ~ ~ ~

  The Traveler guys all arrived the next day went to dinner at Giovanna’s Italian Restaurant, causing a frenzy at the establishment. Flashes from cameras went off from every direction as they entered. They were guided away from the crowd to a private dining room, where pizza and Chianti were shared with conversation and laughter. It had been a long time since they were all together, and the fun times they’d shared over the years brought ‘tales from the road’ and memories that had them there until after the restaurant closed.

  That night they returned to Andy’s, and like in the old days, there was no sleep. They sat in Andy’s living room, and the piano and guitars were played into the early morning hours. Mark had drumsticks tapping on a book, and they enjoyed themselves until after four the next morning.

  ~ ~ ~

  When Andy rose at nine the next morning, he went to the kitchen to make coffee, and his phone rang. “Good morning, love,” he said when he saw it was Geni.

  “I was missing you.”

  “The feeling is mutual,” he said and knew it was so.

  “Are you just getting up?” she laughed.

  “Yep, we went to dinner, drank too much, and then came back here and played music until around four. It was GRAND! I wish you’d have been here.”

  “I already saw pictures on People.com,” she laughed. “The Traveler guys being back together are a big deal! The pictures and some video from last night as you entered the restaurant even made it onto the morning news,” she laughed.

  “Soon as I can get these guys up, we’re going to the studio to get some real time in.” Nigel came around the corner in a full dive on the coffee pot, and Andy started laughing. “The critters are starting to rustle. I’ll call you later.”

  ~ ~ ~