Chad yawned and burrowed deeper into the tangle of blankets. Just a half-hour’s nap, he thought, that was all he needed. Then he’d see if it was time to put another log on the fire and maybe heat some more tea for Jessie. She might be awake by then...
A smile flickered across his face.
He could just imagine her reaction to things when she woke up. Well, he’d explain the second she opened her eyes.
He was just too tired to think about it now.
Asleep yet not asleep, suspended half-way between dreams and reality, Jessica struggled towards a dim light glowing somewhere above her.
She hated the sensation; it was the way she’d felt when she was ten and she’d had to have a tooth pulled and the dentist had sent her to a place where they put a needle into her arm.
You’ll fall asleep, the nurse had said, but she hadn’t fallen asleep, she’d plunged into an abyss and then, the next thing she knew, she was drifting through time, looking down on herself as she lay on a couch in the recovery room, her body waiting for her mind to re-enter it.
She fought against the image of the dental surgery. There was no smell of antiseptic, there was just a pleasant blend of scents. Woodsmoke, she thought, woodsmoke...
Her eyes snapped open. Of course she could smell woodsmoke. She was in the cabin at Coleman’s Creek and ... had she fallen asleep in front of the fireplace?
Yes, she must have. She was in a soft cocoon of blankets and she was wonderfully warm. A silken heat seemed to surround her. She stretched lazily, luxuriating in the warmth. Her skin felt hot…
Her breath caught in her throat.
She was sleeping beside Chad. No, that didn’t half describe it. Chad was lying on his back and she was cradled in his arms, her head nestled on his shoulder, both of them warm and cozy under what seemed like every blanket in the cabin.
The only thing that separated their bodies was a thin scrap of blanket that had got tangled between them, but it was hardly a barrier. She could feel the ridge of his ribcage and the hard muscles of his abdomen pressing against her. And she was aware of every heated inch of his body from ankle to thigh to...
No, she thought, it was impossible...
Her heartbeat skidded erratically.
Under the pile of blankets, she was as naked as a baby.
And Chad ... even the worn blanket caught between them couldn’t hide the fact that he was as naked as she was
My God, she thought, how...? And when?
She closed her eyes, willing the return of memory, but there was nothing, nothing, only an image of snow and trees, a fleeting remembrance of freezing cold and wet.
Please, she thought, taking a ragged breath, please, there had to be more.
She fought against the grey emptiness until finally there was a sudden rush of unsettling, half formed images, and sensations: the comforting feel of Chad’s arms and the sound of his voice and his whispered words...
And then, oblivion.
But something had happened between then and now, something that had left her nude and in his arms.
An inky blackness filled the little cabin. She knew it must be two or three in the morning; the past nights in the wilderness had taught her that the hours just past midnight were the deepest part of the night.
Only the flickering of the fire pierced the dark.
She had a sudden picture of the flames in the hearth extinguished under the punishing burden of the snow.
Yes, she remembered now—the falling branch, the limp matches. . She’d gone to find Chad, hadn’t she?
And she must have succeeded; otherwise, the cabin would be cold and dark. With effort, she could recall going out into the snow but everything after that was wrapped in a milky haze.
There was a vague memory of bone chilling cold and then ... and then Chad lifting her into his arms and bringing her back to the cabin and then the heat of his hands and his body...
She froze as he stirred and murmured something unintelligible. After a heart-stopping instant, his arm tightened around her and he drew her against him.
She held her breath until he was still again. Then, with deliberate caution, she lifted her head, tilting it back until she could glimpse his face. Yes, he was still asleep, his lashes lying against his bristled cheeks like dark smudges.
How could she face him? She couldn’t even remember what had happened.
And that was impossible.
Of course it was impossible. The times he had kissed her had left her trembling, wanting him with a need that frightened her. Surely his lovemaking would have seared her soul.
Then why couldn’t she remember?
He stirred again and moved against her. She closed her eyes, almost overcome by sensation. How many times had she thought about being in his arms like this? She longed to stay right where she was, safe and secure and warm.
Get moving, Jessie, she thought quickly. Do it now, while you can. Get away from the feel of his body, the warmth of his breath, the steadying beat of his heart.
Slowly, carefully, she began to ease herself away from him. But not carefully enough, she thought, as he awoke with the rapidity of a wolf.
‘Well, now,’ he said softly. ‘Welcome back, Jessie.’
She closed her eyes in despair. ‘Chad?’ she said stupidly.
He chuckled softly. ‘Who did you expect?’
She twisted her fingers in the thin blanket caught between them, clutching it to her.
‘I ... I must have slept for hours.’
‘Yeah, you did.’ His arm tightened around her and he cleared his throat. ‘You gave me quite a scare.’
She ran her tongue across her lips and tugged uselessly at the blanket, as if that would change it into a suit of armor, or at least something longer and wider and thicker.
Now was hardly the time to tell him she hadn’t the faintest idea of what he was talking about. All she wanted to do at this minute was get her clothes on.
‘I’m fine,’ she said quickly. ‘In fact, if you’ll just let me get up ...’ Chad rose up on one elbow and stared down at her. She could see his face in the fire’s glow. His eyes narrowed, the irises almost glowing with a golden light like the eyes of some great predatory animal.
‘You damned near died on me, Jessica Howard,’ he said gruffly, and then he shook his head and his expression softened. ‘What the hell were you doing out there?’
Images flashed into her mind and she drew a deep breath. ‘I—I was looking for you,’ she said slowly. ‘I—I remember the branch breaking and the fire going out.’ She closed her eyes. ‘I couldn’t re-light it. The matches were soaked. And—and it was freezing in the cabin. So I decided to walk to the creek ...’
‘To the creek,’ he repeated, and she nodded her head. ‘You were nowhere near the creek when I found you.’
‘I followed your footsteps as long as I could,’ she said slowly, staring up at him. ‘I remembered what you said about knowing where you were and all the rest and I tried, I tried, but it all got mixed up ...’
‘You must have been wandering around out there for a couple of hours. You were like ice when I finally found you.’ He shifted beneath the blankets and the length of his body brushed against hers. ‘What is it?’ he demanded as a tremor ran through her. ‘Are you still cold?’
‘No,’ she said quickly, ‘no, I’m fine now. But... what happened to me?’ Her glance dropped to the tangle of blankets that covered them and she blushed. ‘I—I only remember bits and pieces ...’
‘Hypothermia’s what happened to you, Jessie. It never occurred to me to warn you about it. I mean, I figured you’d never be out of the cabin without me.’
‘Hypothermia?’ she repeated. ‘What’s that?’
‘A killer,’ he said shortly. ‘It’s what happens if you get too cold or wet and your temperature drops too quickly. You lose the ability to make decisions and the worst of it is, you don’t realize it’s happening. And then your motor canters start shutting down. You can’t walk
or talk and finally, your heart shuts down, too.’ He ran his hand lightly along her cheek. ‘Thank God I found you before that happened.’
‘I... I really am OK now, Chad. I’d like to get up and ... and get dressed ...’
He smiled, his teeth flashing whitely in the shadows. ‘Yeah, I wondered when we’d get around to that. In fact, I’d have thought that would be your first question.’
‘Well,’ she said quickly, ‘of course. I mean, it is. It was. I wondered ... I wondered ...’ She felt a rush of crimson flooding her cheeks. ‘Can’t we talk later, after I get ...’
He grinned. ‘Dressed? Sure, Jess. Just answer a question, OK? Do you remember getting undressed?’
‘No—I mean, it’s all fuzzy...’ She took a deep breath, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity. ‘I thought at first—the thing is, I thought I’d remember, and ...’
Chad laughed softly. ‘You’re damned right you’d remember,’ he said. ‘I guarantee it.’
The color in her cheeks deepened. ‘Are you going to tease me or tell me what happened?’
‘I told you what happened. You collapsed in the snow. I found you and brought you here.’
‘And undressed me?’ she asked in a small, unsteady voice.
He nodded his head. ‘And put you to bed.’
Jessica cleared her throat. ‘Where does it say that in the Boy Scout Manual?’
He grinned and touched his finger to the tip of her nose. ‘I haven’t any idea.’
‘But...’
‘Any survival handbook will tell you that the approved method of treatment for advanced hypothermia is to get the wet clothing off the victim.'
‘Which you certainly did. But only one of us was the victim.'
‘Then you get the victim into a tub of warm water or under an electric blanket. In case you hadn’t noticed, we haven’t got either. When that happens, you use body to body heat until the victim shows improvement.’ He smiled crookedly. ‘That means skin to skin.’
‘I see.’ She ran her tongue over her lips and then she shifted carefully under the blanket, trying to put at least some distance between them. ‘Well, I’m very grateful.’
‘You’re welcome,’ he said solemnly.
‘And now, since the victim shows improvement, I... I think she can get up.’
His eyes burned into hers. ‘Is that what she wants?’ he whispered.
A wildness raced through her. No, she thought, it’s not what she wants. But she nodded. ‘Yes,’ she murmured. ‘Turn your back, please.’
For a heartbeat, she thought he was going to refuse. The possibility sent her pulse racing. But finally he shrugged his shoulders and rolled away from her.
‘You stay there,’ he said. ‘I’ll get up.’
She turned her head away as he eased out from under the tangled blankets, though not before she had a glimpse of broad shoulders and muscled arms, painted golden bronze by the fire.
The parts of her body that had been in contact with his through the long, cold night felt suddenly vulnerable, and she fought against the desire to reach out and pull him back down beside her.
The hiss of cloth and zipper told her that he was putting his jeans on.
‘I don’t mean to seem ungrateful,’ she said carefully.
He turned so quickly that she flinched. ‘I don’t want your gratitude, damn it,’ he said angrily. ‘I told you that before.’
‘That isn’t what I meant, Chad. But you did save my life...’
‘Forget it, OK?’
‘Please, don’t be angry. I couldn’t stand it if you were.’
‘I’m not angry.’
‘Yes, you are,’ she whispered. ‘I can hear it in your voice and I don’t—I don't…’ A sob wrenched her body. Tears flooded down her cheeks and she covered her face with her hands.
‘Jessie? Jessie, love, please, I’m sorry.’ Chad dropped to his knees beside her and caught her hands in his. ‘Don’t cry,’ he pleaded. ‘I’m not angry at you.’
But the tears would not stop, no matter how she tried. ‘I don’t know what’s the matter with me,’ she sobbed. ‘I feel awful.’
‘It’s the hypothermia,’ he said. ‘It makes you l depressed.’
‘We’re going to die out here, aren’t we? Tell me the truth, Chad.’
His hands slid beneath her and he lifted her, cradling her in his arms. ‘Don’t even think that,’ he said in a fierce whisper. ‘Of course we’re not going to die. Haven’t we been fine so far?’ He shook her gently. ‘Haven’t we?’
She nodded. ‘I guess.’
‘You guess? Is that your idea of a vote of confidence? Here,’ he said, ‘wipe your eyes.’ He held something out to her—his shirt, she realized—and she did as he’d asked. Then he drew her head to his chest. ‘How about showing a little faith, Miss Howard?' he said in a teasing whisper. 'Haven’t I taken pretty good care of us?’
‘I didn’t mean you hadn’t.’
‘I can’t believe you’d doubt me, Jess.’
‘Chad, I don’t. I...’
‘I said I didn’t want your gratitude, but I certainly expect your confidence.’
He sounded so solemn. It made her feel embarrassed.
‘I know you’ve done a lot...’
‘Damned right I have. I crashed our plane, insulted your job and your city ...’
‘What?’
‘I marched you up a mountain and down a mountain, and then found you this absolutely palatial home in the finest little community in the West.’
A smile trembled on her mouth. ‘Joke all you like, cowboy. You’re the only reason we’re alive. I know how much you’ve done.’
‘I had to undress you, Jess. It was the only way.’
The sudden change in conversation caught her by surprise. Her eyes met his and she saw that he was telling her the absolute truth.
‘It’s just that it didn’t happen quite the way I’d have liked.’
His softly spoken words were rough with longing.
A piece of green wood spat and sizzled in the fireplace; the sound seemed to fill the cabin. She wanted to say something, anything, to fill the warp in time into which the cabin had suddenly drifted, but no words would come.
Chad's arms tightened around her.
‘I’ve made love to you in a thousand dreams,’ he whispered.
She closed her eyes ‘Don’t,’ she begged.
He tilted her face up to his. ‘Why not? Is it so terrible to think of me making love to you?’
She shook her head. ‘No. Oh, no. But...’
‘Don’t you know how I feel, Jessie?’ His voice dropped to a silken whisper. ‘Or is it that you don’t want to know?’
That’s it, she wanted to say, I don’t want to know. But she couldn’t lie to him or to herself, not now, not in the still, small hours of the night; not while the wind moaned outside the tiny cabin, not when the glow of Chad’s eyes warmed her more than the flames in the fireplace.
Hesitantly, she reached out and touched his cheek.
‘Chad,’ she said, searching for the words that would explain the insanity of all this, her fear that once she gave herself to him she would never be able to forget him and these wonderful, terrifying days…
'Jessie,' he said softly.
He turned his face into her palm and his lips burned against her flesh. It was the simplest of actions but once it had happened, once she had felt that searing kiss, she knew she was lost.
‘Chad,’ she said again, but this time the single word was a surrender.
. ‘Dream with me, Jessie,’ he whispered fiercely, as her hand touched his mouth again and then moved to the nape of his neck. ‘Feel the way it was when I kissed you.’ He drew aside the silken tangle of curls at her ear, and his lips brushed her skin. ‘Your cheek,’ he said, ‘and your sweet mouth and your throat ...’ His head dropped towards hers; she sighed as his lips touched the soft curve of neck and shoulder.
His dream was hers.
She kne
w it, had known it, almost from the first. He was touching her, whispering to her, and it was new and exciting, yet it was everything they had done and said to each other in a million other lifetimes.
Jessica sighed and lifted her mouth to his. ‘Tell me,’ she whispered, ‘tell me ...’
‘I lifted you into my arms and carried you to the fire.’ His hands slid down her back, searing her flesh with their heat. ‘I told you I wanted us to be able to see each other in the light of the flames, feel the heat of the fire on our skin. He drew her against him; she gasped as their bodies touched through the thin blanket. ‘And you said ...’ His voice was low and thick with desire. ‘You said you wanted me to make love to you, Jessie. You said you’d been waiting ...’
It was too late to run away.
She'd run from the truth before but now she couldn't do it. She could only sigh and touch him, and admit the truth to herself as well as to him.
‘Yes,’ she whispered, ‘I have been. I’ve been waiting all my life, for you, Chad ...’
She moaned softly as his mouth sought hers. His kiss was tender, and then it deepened. His tongue touched hers; the faint rasp of his shadowy beard felt like a thousand tiny caresses against her skin. Her lips parted beneath his; when finally he drew away from her, she was breathless.
‘I’ve dreamed that I kissed you until tasting your mouth wasn’t enough,’ he murmured. His hand slid across her back and she caught her breath as his fingers splayed along her ribs. ‘That was when I undressed you, Jessie. I stripped away everything that separated us, all the layers, darling, all the superficial barriers, until there was nothing between us and we were only a man and a woman falling in love, and my hands and my mouth took the whole night to learn every part of you.’
She wound her arms tightly around his neck.
In some dim, still-functioning corner of her mind, she realized she had known all along it would come to this.
He was like no one she’d ever imagined, yet he was the man for whom she’d been waiting. There would never be anyone else, and no one who had come before mattered.
She sighed as his hand slid over the blanket between them, following the outline of her body. He murmured her name again, and then the blanket rustled and dropped to her waist.
Sandra's Classics - The Bad Boys of Romance - Boxed Set Page 13