by Ivy Wonders
As I thought again about how I could come clean with Arrie, another fear sprang up. He might be so mad at me that he would try to take Skye away from me.
He had enough money to make sure he got our son. I didn’t know if Arrie would do such a thing, but I didn’t know the man as well anymore. I’d tried to tell him that he didn’t know the woman I’d become either, but he didn’t seem to believe me.
Despite the changes that had occurred in both of us, I did know one thing—we both carried love in us. My love for him had never gone away in the six years we’d been apart. It was a love I’d thought I’d get to keep forever.
But things weren’t working out the way I’d always thought they would, at all. I’d never imagined that Arrie would want me back in his life.
I’d figured a man like him—gorgeous, gifted, wealthy, with sexual gifts the gods must have given him—would’ve been married with kids by now. To find him single astonished me.
The sound of something hitting my bedroom window startled me. “Oh, he better not be tossing little rocks at my window.”
I stayed in bed, listening, and then heard it again. Getting up, I went to the window and pulled the curtain back only a tiny bit. Peering out, I had a view of the parking lot, and Arrie’s car was no longer there.
Scanning the area, I didn’t see anything unusual—no one outside who could’ve thrown anything at the window. And then I heard something from another part of the house. I went to get a robe out of my closet before traipsing around the house to see what had caused those noises.
Opening my bedroom door slowly, I listened for any sounds and heard the sound of something coming from Skye’s bedroom across the hall. I eased that door open just as another rock hit the window.
Anger had me flying across the room, throwing the curtain open as I glared out at whoever thought it was okay to do anything to my son’s room. But my eyes met only bushes, which waved in the wind that had suddenly picked up.
“Ah, it’s just a storm coming in.” With the noises identified as small rocks being tossed around by the wind, I went back to bed.
The odd thing was, I didn’t hear any more sounds like that the rest of the night. Waking in the morning with the sun streaming in, I showered, then dressed, before calling a cab to take me to the restaurant so I could get my car then head to the hospital.
While waiting for the cab to arrive, I took the opportunity to take a walk around my apartment. Near my window, a pile of small rocks caught my attention. When I went to inspect the other windows, I saw another small pile near Skye’s window.
So maybe it hadn’t been the wind. But with nothing else to attribute it to, I chalked it up to bored teens. I’d looked outside and seen no one. And three doors down, there were four teens who seemed like pranksters.
That had to have been it.
The cab showed up and I called Mom on the way to pick up my car. “Morning, Mom. How did Skye do last night?”
“Great. He went to sleep after watching A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving,” she told me. “And how did the dinner with your patient’s parents go?”
“Well.” I thought this might be a good time to let her in on things. “The bigshot doctor that the Stones had to have turned out to be an old boyfriend of mine from med school. Can you believe that?”
“Wow. What are the chances?” she said, echoing my own thoughts on first seeing Arrie again. “Did you two reconnect?”
“No.” I’d never told my parents the name of Skye’s father. I’d told them it didn’t matter, that the man had a future to worry about that didn’t include me.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I could practically hear the wheels begin to spin. She knew the father had to have been someone I met in med school. “Is this the one, Reagan?”
Not feeling ready to get into that with her just yet, I tried to act as if I didn’t hear. “Oh, shoot. Mom, I’m getting a call from the hospital. Talk to you later.”
Ending the call, I wondered just what I would tell my mom and dad. I didn’t want Arrie to find out about Skye until I was ready to tell him. But at this rate, I wasn’t sure Arrie wouldn’t show up at my place, in which case my parents needed to know to keep Skye away from him.
My cell rang, and I looked down to see a number that wasn’t saved in my phone. I answered it anyway. “Dr. Storey here.”
“Did you have a happy Thanksgiving, Dr. Storey?” a man asked me.
Blinking, I held my breath as I recognized the caller’s voice. “Mr. Haney?”
He didn’t confirm his identity. “Did you get to spend the holiday with your cute little son, Dr. Storey?”
“Mr. Haney, I know this is you. I know you’ve been through so much, but you can’t continue calling me like this.” The man had lost his eight-year-old daughter nearly a year earlier. He’d also lost his wife, his daughter’s mother, during childbirth. His wife had had a rare heart condition, and the poor woman’s heart couldn’t handle the birth. What’s worse, the baby girl had inherited the genetic heart condition.
Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy made the little girl’s heart muscles harden, making it harder and harder for her heart to pump blood. She’d been on the heart transplant list at our hospital for years, but the poor thing had passed away shortly after her eighth birthday as she’d waited for a suitable heart to come in.
“Yes, I have been through a lot, haven’t I?” he asked. “The loss of my wife, then eight years later, my daughter. I would say I have been through more than I should’ve ever had to go through. And I have you to thank for the loss of my daughter, don’t I, Dr. Storey?”
He’d blamed me for her death right away. “Sir, I can’t talk to you right now. I am very sorry for your loss. I pray for your daughter every night.” I prayed for her, and the one other patient I’d lost in the last couple of years. “Goodbye.”
“Not yet,” he said, but I swiped the screen to end the call anyway.
Just after her death, he’d called me way too many times—crying, threatening at first, and then asking my forgiveness. The poor man needed help but refused to get it. I had no idea when or if these calls would ever end, but I had hoped they would stop on their own. I didn’t want to involve the police. Not when the man had been through so much.
When I got to my car, I saw a slip of paper underneath the windshield wiper. Pulling it off, I saw Arrie had left it. He must have driven back here after he’d left me at my apartment. The phone number and short apology scribbled on the paper had me smiling.
“Damn it, why does he have to pull at my heartstrings so much?” I got into my car then put his number into my phone, but I didn’t call or text him.
The argument last night had put some much-needed space between us. I could tell him in person that I accepted his apology, but it didn’t change things for us. But even as I thought about speaking with him in person, I felt a sinking feeling in my gut.
It would be best if I had as little contact with Arrie as possible while he was still here. I hoped that the space would help make things a little less complicated in the future, when I finally told him about Skye.
With those thoughts running through my head, I arrived at the hospital and made sure Arrie wasn’t around when I went to check on Mr. Stone. What I found when I walked into my patient’s room shocked me. “You’re awake!”
His parents sat on either side of him. Mr. Stone’s father smiled. “He’s opened his eyes. He can’t speak or write to communicate with us yet, but we know he’ll get there soon.”
Walking to his bed, I listened to his heart. I found a steady beat that had me smiling from ear to ear. I looked at Mrs. Stone. “Does Arrie know yet?”
Shaking her head, she said, “He hasn’t come in yet. I hope he’s feeling okay. I know he drove you home last night; did he mention not feeling well or anything to you?”
He’d said lots to me. Too much. And because of that, I had a pretty good idea of why he hadn’t come in. “I’ll call him. He’ll want to be here.”
Leaving the room, I felt a weight on my shoulders. I’d hurt the man. I’d never wanted to hurt him—I’d made terribly difficult decisions in my life just to avoid that outcome—and I had done it anyway.
Chapter 11
Arslan
My heart aching, my mind swamped with ideas of what else I could do to get Reagan to trust in me and my promises, I stayed in the next morning, not feeling up to doing much. If anything occurred with Lannie, the hospital would call me. I saw no problem giving myself some time.
The argument I’d had with Reagan had gotten to me. We’d never argued much back in med school, and it felt terrible. Especially since her excuses seemed so flimsy. It was like she was using her son as a shield, acting as if my presence in the boy’s life would be intrusive.
There had to be a way to get her to see that my involvement in her life and her son’s would only enhance both their lives. And it would enhance mine as well.
In the years since we’d broken up, I never would’ve said I was lonely. But I had to admit, work took over most of my days. Social events were rare—and were generally the only times I saw a need to find a date—and I hardly ever did more than work and go home.
Seeing Reagan again reminded me of all the fun we used to have. We’d done so much more in those six months than I’d done with anyone else in the six years since. I wanted that back. I wanted the feeling of excitement that Reagan gave me.
With Reagan, I could find fun and excitement in just about anything. One time I’d found a new pizza place that served a veggie pizza with zucchini, which I knew she’d love. I’d planned a whole date out of taking her there, and her laughter when she realized I was making such a fuss out of something so small had made my heart dance. No one else’s laughter had that effect on me. She lifted my spirits in unimaginable ways.
The way she’d shut me out last night had done just the opposite. I felt deflated. I still hadn’t lost hope, but I’d lost any further ideas of how to get her to let me back in.
I’d stopped by her car after leaving her apartment and left a note with my number and a short apology. Hoping against all odds that she’d call me, I kept my cell in the pocket of the bathrobe I wore.
I felt a bit like an idiot for sitting and waiting for a woman to call me. To me, though, Reagan was far more than just some woman. Reagan was the woman.
How six years had gone by without me realizing it, I had no clue. Blaming work seemed the best answer to that. When she brought up how I’d never searched for her and vice versa, it hurt. It hurt me that I’d hurt her by not trying to find her.
Why hadn’t I ever tried to find her?
Reagan had bounced around in my mind from time to time. And she nearly always came to mind in my sexual fantasies. So why hadn’t I ever taken the time to see if I could find her?
Shrugging, I looked out the window at the cold gray sky and wondered if I’d even get dressed. “What for?”
My pocket vibrated, and I pulled my cell out to see a number I didn’t recognize. “Dr. Arslan Dawson.”
“Arrie, it’s me,” her sweet, soft voice replied.
“Reagan, I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. “It’s so hard seeing you again.”
“Yes, I know,” she whispered. “Arrie, I accept your apology. But this has to stop. I hate fighting with you. I never wanted to do that. But I can’t be what you want me to be. Anyways, that’s not why I’m calling you.”
Damn.
“Okay, I guess I have no choice but to accept that.” I didn’t know what else I could do at this point. “So, what are you calling me for? And, can I save your number?”
“Oh,” she hesitated. “Well, for work purposes, yes.”
Gritting my teeth, I wanted to tell her that just wouldn’t be enough, but I managed to hold my tongue. “Okay.”
“Arrie, I’ve got some great news,” she said, and I heard the smile in her voice. “Your friend is awake.”
It took me a second to take that in. “Lannie’s awake?”
“Yes. And my examination of him made me very happy. His blood pressure and heart rate are excellent. You should come see him.” She cleared her throat then went on, “I’m about to leave anyway.”
Her words made me think the only reason she was leaving was to avoid me. “Is that because I’ll be there, Reagan?” I didn’t want things to be that way.
“Well, yes,” she confirmed my suspicions. “Arrie, it’s best if we keep a lot of distance between us.”
“You know it won’t be best, but I guess there’s nothing I can do about that. You know that what we both want is no distance between us at all.” Knowing I shouldn’t start another argument didn’t stop me from trying to get my point across. “All I can think about is holding your naked body against mine. Having those plump lips tangle with mine would make me the happiest man alive. And I have a feeling it would do the same for you.”
“This isn’t helping, Arrie.” She sighed heavily. “My son …”
I didn’t let her finish—I’d heard that excuse enough, and it wasn’t getting any more convincing. “Stop it, Reagan. Stop putting that excuse out there. That’s all it is—a giant, bullshit excuse. If you don’t want me anymore, say it. Be truthful about it and stop hiding behind your son.”
“I’m not hiding, and you’re pissing me off.” She huffed. “You want me to tell you something that’s not true so you can make up your own excuse as to why this can’t happen. I’m not going to tell you that I don’t want you anymore because that’s a lie and we both know that. This is about my son and how I know he’ll be affected. It’s not just you, Arrie. I haven’t had a single relationship since his birth.”
“Wait.” Stunned, I had to ask, “Has it been five years since you’ve had sex with anyone?”
“I’m not talking to you about that. Take my words and make them into whatever you want. I’m not going to get into a relationship of any kind with anyone. At least not right now. I’ve gotta go. Come see your friend, Arrie. That is why you’re in Seattle anyway.” She ended the call as I sat there with my mouth gaping.
Could that be what the woman’s been hiding from me this whole time? That she’s been celibate since me and is maybe feeling embarrassed?
With a reason to get dressed and go down to the hospital, I hurried to see my old friend with his eyes open again. He even smiled weakly at me when I went into his room. “Man, this is the best thing I’ve seen in a very long time.”
With his parents on either side of the bed, I went right up to Lannie and leaned over to hug him as best I could with all the lines hooked up to his battered body.
Gerald had to grab the box of tissues next to him to hand them to Samantha, who’d begun crying. “Here you go, honey.”
“I’m so glad we called you, Arslan,” Samantha whimpered. “Seeing this makes my heart overflow.”
Moving my finger to the middle of Lannie’s hand, I asked, “Can you close your hand for me?”
He looked right into my eyes as he tried to concentrate on what I’d asked him. And after a minute, his hand closed around my finger. His father saw the action and exclaimed, “Yes! Way to go, son.”
Looking into Lannie’s dark brown eyes, I nodded. “You’re going to get better, my friend. I’m going to be here for every single bit of it, too. I hope you don’t get sick of seeing my face around here.”
Moving his eyes back and forth, I knew what he meant, even though he couldn’t say it yet. Even with Reagan being so weird about everything, Lannie’s recovery made my heart happy.
After doing a thorough exam, I let Lannie sleep and went to get some coffee. Dr. Kerr sat at a table alone, and I went to join him. I wanted to see if I could get some information about Reagan out of her colleague. “Hey, Dr. Dawson.”
“Call me Arslan,” I said, taking a seat.
He nodded. “Call me Jonas.”
“Good.” I took a sip of my hot coffee then put it down on the table. “Jonas, what can you tell me about Reag
an?”
With a knowing grin, he said, “We’ve worked together since this place opened. She’s a fantastic cardiologist. And now I know that you two were an item in med school. Now you know everything that I know about her. That woman is a closed book, socially speaking.”
So, she was probably telling the truth about her non-existent social life. “What about her son?”
“What about him?” Jonas shrugged. “I only know she has one.” He tapped the table next to his coffee mug. “Hell, I don’t even know his name or how old he is.”
At least she’d trusted me enough to tell me those things right off the bat. The way Reagan and Jonas had gotten along at dinner had given me the impression that they were much closer than they actually were. “So, Reagan isn’t a person you’d consider a friend?”
Shaking his head, he chuckled. “No. I wouldn’t call her a friend. Friends talk about things other than work. I mean, we’ve been through some things together, and that gives us something to talk about at times, but she and I have never had a heart to heart.”
I needed to know if she had any friends at work at all. “Do you know if she has any girlfriends?”
Tapping his chin as he thought, he came up with something. “She gets along well with everyone, Arslan. She doesn’t give much, if any, information about herself. And I’ve never seen her hanging around with anyone. She certainly doesn’t go out on karaoke nights, if you get what I’m saying. From what I’ve gathered, she’s a mother first and a doctor second. And that’s about it.”
I found that sad—and nothing like the young college student I’d known. That girl had had friends. She’d had things that interested her more than just her medical studies.
Had the pregnancy done something to her, mentally? Had that asshole who’d left her on her own told her something to make her think she could never have anyone in the child’s life?
I could see something like that occurring. Especially since Reagan could be so obstinate.
She would have to tell me what happened between her and the boy’s father. If that man needed to step up, then I’d do all I could to make that happen. The kid deserved to know his father. I’d assumed that the man had chosen to abandon them, but maybe it had actually been Reagan who’d pushed him away.