by Ivy Wonders
“Eli will be pleased.” Harman sat his glass down. “It’s nice that you get to work with animals when you like them so much. I had a dog when I was a kid, but other than that I haven’t had any pets. And Tara said she’s allergic to pet dander, so we never had any pets after we got married. Eli should be able to at least play with them, now that she’s not around.”
And there it was—that sad look again. “Hey, what do you say we don’t bring her up for the rest of the night? Your mood shifts whenever you start thinking about her. And we’ve got lots of other things we can talk about—she’s not the only woman on the planet, after all.”
The slightest smile curved his lips. “You’re right. She’s not.” And the twinkle in his eyes made moisture blossom between my thighs.
Chapter 7
Harman
Rebel’s sweet scent lingered about me even after we’d left her at her home. Her body had been so close to mine as she’d trimmed my hair that the vanilla-based perfume she wore still hung in my nostrils.
I’d invited her to our nightly swim, but she claimed exhaustion from all the unpacking she’d done that weekend. Even exhausted, the woman glowed. I wondered if she could ever look bad. I had the feeling she was one of those people who simply woke up looking great.
“Dad, can I take the night off of swimming, too, like Rebel?” Eli asked as we walked into our home. “I’m ‘sausted, too.”
“Sure, Little Buddy. Just pop into the shower real quick, then get into bed. I’ll come tuck you in, and I’ll do my laps afterward.” With all that pizza to work off, I didn’t want to miss my nightly therapy and exercise.
Later, as I swam lap after lap in the pool, I lost myself in fantasies of Rebel. I could practically feel her long legs wrapped around my waist, her silky hair moving between my fingers. Her body pressed against mine.
Our lips met, and explosions went off inside my head. Blinking, I came out of my little fantasy. I had no idea if Rebel would be interested in dating me. I’d probably blown my chances the moment I told her I would take Tara back, even if just for Eli’s sake. That should’ve scared her off.
The thing was, I didn’t know why I told her that. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t like Tara had ever hinted at coming back. My ex was off doing whatever she wanted without a thought for me or Eli, and there I was, building a wall around myself and using the idea that she might come back as mortar for the rocks.
Rebel didn’t strike me as fool, and it would be foolish to get involved with a man who’d told her something like that. The truth was, I had no desire to get back together with Tara—our relationship had never been easy. But I knew I wanted her in our son’s life, and I would do anything to get that to happen again.
A boy needs his mother. Mine had been a significant influence on me. Not that Tara was a very good influence, but she was Eli’s mother, and she should be in his life.
I had the feeling Eli would be running to Rebel’s as soon as he saw her driving up each day. He’d be spending time with her, not his mother. And that would be okay, but it wasn’t the same as having his mother around.
My head a mess, I ended my swim session earlier than usual then headed up to my room to shower. As the hot water ran over my tired body, I leaned back on the warm, tiled walls.
Rebel’s laughter filled my head. She and I had played skee-ball at the pizza place. She wasn’t very good at it, and I’d moved in behind her, taking her hand and helping her toss the ball to hit the main hole. She’d missed all her other throws, and I’d wanted to help her out. I hadn’t done it just for the sake of getting so close to her.
Or had I?
All throughout the night, I kept managing to get her body to graze mine. I hadn’t actually planned these bits of contact, but maybe my subconscious had me making sure we touched as often as possible.
The thing was, each touch seemed better than the last; even the slightest graze sent the best sensations through me. No one had ever affected me that way. I thought it was either a sign that we’d have fantastic chemistry or that we’d have too much passion between us to sustain a healthy relationship.
I knew hot sex didn’t equal a long-term relationship. In my experience, it almost made things more difficult. Once the heat faded away with time, all you’d be left with is the bland, everyday life of most married couples. Sometimes when the passion fades, you realize you have nothing in common with the other person at all.
But I’d seen exceptions to that in my life—though not from my parents. Those two seemed more like brother and sister in my mind. They got along okay, but there was no touching or any signs of lingering love or desire for one another.
Maybe I’d had poor role models in the relationship area. Perhaps that’s why I’d married a woman I didn’t love and thought that marriage was nothing more than a union between two people to make a family.
It had hurt when Tara left. Not because I’d miss her. Not because I loved her, but because she’d walked away from what I thought would be our forever. I thought that we were building a life and a family together.
I don’t know why I thought that. She’d made it clear that we’d never have any more children. We’d had one argument over that when Eli was three. I thought he should have a sibling, but Tara thought that she never wanted to have another baby.
But maybe she just didn’t want to have another one with me. She certainly seemed to be having more sex now than she’d ever had with me. In two years, she’d gone through seven men. The last three years of our marriage, we’d had sex maybe once a month, if that.
And what bothered me the most was that I was okay with that. I’d accepted that as the reality of my marriage. So when Tara had decided that it wasn’t enough for her, it had hurt. It hurt because she’d come to terms with our lack of love and decided it wasn’t okay. And I’d come to terms with it and decided it was tolerable.
So tolerable that I’d tell a woman I was attracted to that I’d let the mother of my son back into my home and my life even though I’d never been happy with that life.
What a moron!
Tara might have a lot of faults, but she’d been right about one thing—our marriage had needed to end.
Getting out of the shower, I toweled off, then went to put on my pajamas before getting into my king-sized bed—a bed I’d only briefly shared with my wife. A bed we’d had sex in only once before she told me she couldn’t live with me anymore.
“Tomorrow, I’m getting a new bed.” I rolled over and turned off the lamp on the nightstand. “I’ve got to make some changes, or I’ll never be truly happy.”
Rebel’s words from earlier that evening rang in my ears: “Your mood shifts whenever you start thinking about her…she’s not the only woman on the planet, after all.”
Rebel must’ve seen something in my eyes or demeanor that I hadn’t noticed before. And it was time to change that. Thinking about Tara wasn’t helping me at all. Feeling sorry for our son wasn’t changing a thing.
I’d said everything imaginable to Tara to get her to realize how important she was to our son, but nothing had made a difference. She’d found her freedom after seven years of being married to me, and she wasn’t looking back at either of us.
Maybe it was time for me to experience some freedom of my own—freedom from the guilt of my failed marriage. Freedom from Tara’s irresponsibility.
Lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling, I knew I had to move on. For Eli’s sake just as much as mine. I had to stop trying to get his mother to be someone she wasn’t.
But even as I thought that, my heart ached for Eli: my poor little boy whose mother had run so fast to get away from me that she’d left him behind, too.
Why had I never tried to get her to fall in love with me? Why had I never tried to find something to love in her? Why had I rushed into marriage when we could’ve gone about being Eli’s parents separately?
Back then I’d wanted a normal family, no matter what. From the moment we got the DNA results bac
k a week after she’d found me, I’d told Tara what we’d do. We’d get married, and I’d move my roommate out of my apartment, so she could move in.
Being young and easily influenced by her parents, who didn’t want the responsibility of taking on the baby or the expenses of the pregnancy and delivery, Tara had done what we’d all told her to do. So, in a tiny church that her grandmother was a member of, we got married just one month after she’d hunted me down and told me the news.
Our first night together hadn’t been special at all. She couldn’t drink, but I’d had a few beers to help settle my nerves. There wasn’t money for a real honeymoon. We’d gone to my apartment—her new home—and eaten some frozen pizza.
That night hadn’t been anything like our first encounter in the bathroom, either. That had been rushed and wild—fun, even. But the night of our wedding, with both of us feeling reluctant, both of us unsure about whether we’d done the right thing, we’d gotten into bed and awkwardly kissed. We closed our eyes and pretended there wasn’t anything wrong with what we were doing. And we’d had sex.
I’d never made love to anyone in my life. But as I lay in my king-sized bed—a bed I’d once shared with my wife—I knew that if Rebel and I ever had the opportunity to do anything so intimate, we’d be making love, not just having sex. And the truth was that scared me.
Why could I see myself falling in love with a woman I’d only spent time with twice? Was something wrong with me? Was I grasping at straws?
Knowing that Tara was out there having the time of her life without her son or me might’ve been affecting me in ways I hadn’t realized. It made no sense why I’d be thinking so much about a woman I’d barely met. And yet I couldn’t stop thinking about Rebel.
In my present state, I felt if I did make a move on Rebel, I might end up drowning her with how hard I’d hold onto her. As it was, I had a hard time dragging myself away from her each time I had to leave her at her door.
My lips had itched to kiss hers both nights I’d walked her to her door. My stomach had twisted itself in knots as I walked away from her each time. I’d had to clench my fists at my sides and force my reluctant feet to take me away from her.
How had Rebel Saxe done so much to me so quickly, without even trying? And how had she gotten my son to say he loved her already?
“Maybe she’s a witch,” I smiled as I said the words out loud. “A witch who will steal your heart and then your soul, Harman Hunter. And maybe that of your young son’s, too. You should be careful.”
But could I? Could I continue to stifle the attraction I felt so completely for her?
What choice did I have?
I’d told her too much about my messy divorce. Worse, I’d made it clear I’d take my ex back if she ever wanted. I’d screwed it all up before I even had a chance in hell with the woman.
It didn’t matter that we liked the same mixed drink, the same pizza, or that we’d chosen similar careers. It didn’t matter that we could’ve made the perfect couple. I’d already blown it—I didn’t have a shot with the woman.
Chapter 8
Rebel
After only one week had passed, Eli had already proven himself to be the most responsible little boy I’d ever known. Every day he cleaned the cages of a couple of very messy rabbits, making sure they had fresh water, and even bringing lettuce for them each day, too.
At the end of the week, Harman came over to check on how things were going. “So, is Eli working out for you, Rebel?”
“Better than expected.” I patted Eli on the back as he put the leash on a Chihuahua who needed some rehabilitating after hip replacement surgery. His owner was a little old lady who couldn’t walk him, since she herself had to use a wheelchair to get around.
Eli beamed at me. “I love it, Rebel. I love every single one of these little guys. And I love that you let me do this.”
I pulled a twenty dollar bill out of my pocket. “And here’s your first week’s pay.”
Harman cleared his throat as Eli took the money and put it in his own pocket. “You want me to hold that for you, so you don’t lose it?”
“Well, here’s the thing, Dad.” Eli had already told me what he planned on doing with the money, but I didn’t know if a single week of work was enough time to prove to his dad that he was ready. It seemed Eli thought it was. “You see, I’d like to spend this money on something. But I need your permission to do it.”
Harman looked at me. “I’ve got a feeling I know what he’s going to ask. Before he does, can I ask you something?”
Nodding, I said, “Sure.”
“Do you think he’s ready?” He eyed me very seriously, and I realized my answer would likely be the deciding factor in whether the kid got what he wanted.
I wanted to be honest with them both. “I’ve got to say that Eli has surpassed my expectations by miles, Harman. And I’m not just saying that. He listens intently. He follows directions to the T. He doesn’t talk back about anything. But most impressive is that he’s full of great ideas. And he’s Googled information about each animal I’ve brought home. He’s done that all on his own. So, I think—yes. I think he’s ready.”
Turning his attention back to his son, Harman gave him the go ahead to ask his question. “Shoot, Little Buddy. And I want you to know that I’m extremely proud of you.”
The kid glowed as he nodded. “Thanks, you guys. Dad, I’d like to have a dog. That’s what I wanna spend my money on. I know he’ll need food and a collar and a leash and stuff like that. I could buy him whatever he needs since I have a job now. And I want to pick one out from the animal shelter, too.”
We both looked at Harman for his answer, and I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping he’d approve. “Well, how can I say no when you’ve proven yourself to be such a capable animal caretaker?”
Eli pumped his fist. “Yes! Can we go tomorrow to look for one?”
Harman looked at me. “Can you make it tomorrow, Rebel?”
“Oh, you want me to come along too?” The thought of spending some more time with him made my heart sing.
“I won’t do it without you,” he let me know. “You’re the expert here, after all.”
Eli’s eyes bore into me. “Please, Rebel.”
“You know I can’t say no to that voice.” The kid already knew his secret power over me. “Of course, I’ll join you guys to help pick out just the right dog for you, Eli.”
“I’ll be here to pick you up around nine in the morning then,” Harman informed me. “We’ll go eat some breakfast first then start the search for Eli’s first dog.”
“Sounds good to me.” I couldn’t stop smiling after that. Spending the morning with Harman would be a great way to start the weekend.
Getting up bright and early the next day, I braided my hair and put on some warm clothes as a cold front had drifted in during the night. When a knock sounded at my door at precisely nine, I opened it to find Harman standing there. “You could’ve just honked.” I walked out, and he followed behind me.
“Never. That’s not what a gentleman does, Rebel.” He stepped around me to open the car door for me.
His actions made me smile as I slid into the car. “Thank you, Harman. Morning, Eli. You look pretty happy this morning.”
“I am!” He pumped his fist in the air. “I’m getting smiley face pancakes, then a dog! It can’t get any better than this!”
Harman got in, grinning from ear to ear. “He’s been on cloud nine since last night.”
“Yeah,” Eli said. “Mom wasn’t happy about it, though. She said I can’t take it to her house when I go over. But Dad said he doesn’t mind taking care of him when that happens. It’s not like it happens a lot anyway.”
I caught Harman’s jaw tightening. “Yeah, well, you’ll be going over there next weekend.”
“We’ll see.” Even Eli knew it was a long shot that his mother would pick him up for the weekend.
I decided to change the subject, since just the mention of
the woman had wiped the smiles from their faces. “So, smiley face pancakes for you, huh? I’m thinking about some coffee and scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns, myself.”
Harman cut his eyes at me as he drove ahead. “Where we’re going, that plate is called the American Deluxe.”
Eli laughed. “That’s what Dad always gets when we go to his favorite café.”
“So, another meal we both like.” I’d thought it kind of odd that we liked so many of the same things—I figured I’d see just how far our similarities went. “My favorite color is red. Any chance that’s yours, too?”
“Mine’s blue.” He stopped at a red light and looked at me. “So we do have some differences then, don’t we?”
“Seems so.” I batted my lashes at him. “My eyes are your favorite color, Harman,” I teased.
“Yes, they are.” He turned his head to the road as the light changed, and I felt a blush heat my cheeks.
Changing the subject again, I asked, “So, how do you like this cold weather we’re having?”
“I like it,” Eli chimed in. “It’s starting to feel like the holidays now. I get out of school early next week because of Thanksgiving. And I get two whole weeks out for Christmas. I can’t wait! And I’m gonna have my dog to play with, too. It’s gonna be like a dream come true.”
“Are you going to be okay with him keeping the dog inside if it gets too cold, Harman?” I asked. “Because I can keep him inside mine if you don’t want to.”
“I’ll let him stay inside if it’s cold out. Eli will just have to make sure he’s clean and has no fleas.” Harman looked at me. “I did have a dog when I was a kid. I know how to care for them, too.”
“Good.” It was a habit of mine; always making sure people knew how to take care of their pets.
After breakfast, we hit our first shelter. It was a no-kill shelter, and it was clean and well-maintained. It was clear that the people in charge were very thorough with the care of the animals.