by Ivy Wonders
Eli ran over to kiss her cheek, and I went to pour myself a cup of coffee. Though I knew she was trying her best to try to rekindle things between us—despite me being firmly against it—there had been no reconnecting. Not that I had expected there to be; we’d never had passion in our marriage, even at the best of times. I didn’t expect it to magically appear, like she seemed to. It was enough for me to simply try to be civil and caring, especially in front of Eli. “Morning, Tara. I hope you slept well.”
“I did.” She ran her hand through Eli’s hair. “I think today we’ll stop and get you a haircut after school.”
“Or I could let Rebel cut it,” he said. “She’s great at it.”
Tara’s eyes narrowed, and she looked at me for help, but I just dodged her gaze, looking at the tray of food on the side table. “Rene has outdone herself with this morning’s treats. Look, Eli, pigs in a blanket.”
“Yes!” He shot over to my side, picking up a plate and putting a couple of his favorite foods on it. “And look, there’s some with ham in them, too.”
“There sure is.” I took my plate then went to sit at the table.
“I’m going to stop by my place and pick up some more things today,” Tara told me. “And I’ve ordered a kennel for the dog. He needs to stay outside from now on.”
Eli’s face dropped. “Mom, he sleeps in my room. He’s not running around the house. Please don’t make me keep him outside.”
“Dogs don’t belong in the house, Eli. You’ve got to learn that.” She gave me the stink-eye. “Your father knew better than to let you keep an animal in the house.”
“He keeps Moppy clean, Tara. The dog’s never been a problem. He’s house-trained, and he never gets into any trouble. I think the dog’s fine the way he is now.” I looked at Eli and overrode his mother’s new rule. “He can stay inside, Eli.” Then I turned my attention to Tara. “And there’s no need for a kennel. I don’t want Moppy locked up when he’s outside. He’s got so much space to roam around that it would be cruel.”
The way she looked down at her half-eaten plate told me she wasn’t happy that I’d pushed back. “Fine.”
Eli’s cell went off, and he got up, taking one of the pastries with him. “Jason and his mom are here. I’ve gotta go.” He kissed his mother on the cheek, then gave me a hug and off he went.
That left Tara and me alone. “So, how’s the suite working out for you, Tara?”
“It’s okay. A little on the small side, but okay.” She sipped her coffee, looking at me over the rim. “Maybe after seeing the therapist for a while, we’ll feel like getting back to sleeping in the same bed again.”
I knew that wouldn’t be the case. She’d made plenty of comments in the few short days she’d been there, and I always shut them down. This time I simply gave her a look, making it clear once again that I wasn’t interested in that.
The thought of sleeping with any other woman while I still carried so much love in my heart for Rebel made me sick. I kept hoping it would slowly go away, but I didn’t honestly believe it would.
“Harman, how long can we live this way?”
“You seem to forget that we lived this way for a long time. Most of our marriage was like this, the two of us living separate lives. I don’t see why we can’t do it again,” I didn’t know what else to tell her. “But while we’re on the subject of making do together, I’d like to bring up some of the things you’ve decided to change around here. The no-drinking-after-five rule has to stop. The kid’s thirsty, Tara. When he gets up, he gulps down two bottles of water. I can’t let that go on. And the no-swimming-before-bed needs to go, too.”
She looked as if she’d be putting her foot down about that. “No, Harman. It’s too stimulating for him. It’ll make it hard for him to fall asleep.”
“It helps him get to sleep. If you had let him swim with me that first night you stayed here, you’d have seen that,” I pointed out.
Her jaw set, she got that determined look in her green eyes. “I’ll let the after five thing go, but not the swimming.”
Leaning back in my chair, I had to ask, “Why are you doing this, Tara?”
“Doing what?” she asked, all innocence, as if she had no idea what the hell I was talking about.
“Coming in here and trying to change everything,” I told her. “Eli and I were doing just fine—”
“Without me,” she interrupted me. “Yes, I know.” Getting up, she went to stand by the window, holding the cup of coffee in her hands. “Her car hasn’t left the driveway in four days.”
I knew Rebel’s car hadn’t left her driveway. And I was pretty sure I knew why, too. She didn’t have a kid she had to stay strong for. Rebel had the time and privacy to indulge in the pain of our breakup. I hurt, too, more than I ever could have imagined. But I had to keep that hidden, buried deep down inside.
“I’m sure she’ll be okay, given enough time.” I didn’t want to talk to my ex about the woman I still loved.
Turning to face me, Tara looked a little sheepish. “I stopped by there yesterday.”
“Why?” I demanded, my entire being tensing up at the thought. “After all she’s been through—everything you’ve put her through—I think it’s best to leave her alone.”
“She missed you and Eli; she told me not to tell you. But I think you should know.” She sipped her coffee as if we were having the most casual conversation. “She said she has the flu, but I think it’s a broken heart that has her missing work.” Looking down at the table, I caught her looking at me. “And how’s your heart, Harman?”
“There’s no reason to discuss this, Tara.” I had no idea what her angle was, but I didn’t want to discuss my shattered heart with her.
“I want to know how you feel, Harman.” Moving away from the window, she took a seat.
“Tara, I truly love Rebel. I told you that. I doubt I’ll ever stop loving her.” I didn’t know why Tara would want to hear about my feelings for another woman, but I refused to hide them from her.
A smile curved her lips. “Wow.”
I didn’t trust that smile. “Yeah, I know,” I replied, narrowing my eyes at her.
“And you truly love our son, too.” She sipped the coffee again. “You left her for him, so he could have his family back. That’s the most selfless thing I’ve ever heard.”
It was nothing compared to Rebel’s selflessness. And I didn’t want her bothered by any of us anymore. “Tara, please don’t go by Rebel’s place anymore. She’s been through too much from our family already.”
“I agree.” Putting her cup down, she ran her hands over her blouse to straighten it. “We’re a mess. And we’ve splattered our mess on her.”
“Exactly. We are a mess. I should’ve known better than to start anything with the woman in the first place. It wasn’t fair to her.”
“Yeah.” She got up and left the room, leaving me sitting there alone.
I moved to look out the window. There wasn’t any smoke coming from Rebel’s chimney. She’d just holed herself up in that house, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.
Seeing her again would only prolong the pain. The wound cut deep but left alone it would heal. If I or anyone in my family kept going around Rebel, it’d take her longer to recover. Keeping Eli from her might not be so easy, though.
Rene came into the breakfast room. “Are you finished, Doctor Hunter?”
“I am.” I handed her my barely eaten plate. “Here you go.”
She looked at all the food left over. “You guys aren’t eating as much as you normally do. I guess this is as hard on you all as it is on Rebel.”
That piqued my curiosity. “You say that like you’ve seen her recently.”
“Tara asked me take Rebel some soup yesterday,” she said as she gathered the dishes. “She invited me in and we chatted a bit. She said she’d finally gotten herself cleaned up a bit, but she hadn’t done anything but feed and water her animals for three days. I could see the weight los
s in her face. I told her things would get better with time.”
Rene had been with us since we’d moved into the house. She knew my family better than anyone else did. “Is this a mistake, Rene?”
She looked at me without any expression on her face at all. “We all make mistakes, Doctor Hunter. And we all walk different paths in life. There’s no one way to live. If you feel like you need to have Eli’s mother here for your son to have the best possible life, then that’s what you should do.”
“If you were in my shoes, what would you do?” I had to hear someone else’s opinion. I hadn’t confided in anyone else.
She laughed lightly as she headed out of the room with the dishes. “Me? Oh, I’m a romantic, Doctor Hunter. I lead with my heart, not my head.” And then she left.
Chapter 26
Rebel
Somehow I got through an entire week without speaking to Harman or Eli. I didn’t feel any better. Not a bit. But I had managed to make it into work and had even worked the weekend, something I’d rarely done since moving in next door to Eli and Harman. They’d taken up most of my weekends since then.
Nancy, my coworker, came into my office with a grin on her face. “Looks like you and I are in charge of planning the office Christmas party this year, Rebel. I’m thinking copious amounts of booze and one of those white elephant gift exchanges.”
“Sounds great to me. That’s easy to plan.” I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to be excited about a party.
Nancy seemed to sense that. “Well, there’s a lot more to plan. The food, the place, the time, the date. How about I come over to your place when we get off today? I’ll bring wine and a cheeseboard. I’d invite you over, but my place is a zoo. Not with animals, but with people. Besides, I’m dying to see your new place.”
I knew Nancy well enough to know she wouldn’t give up until I caved. “Okay. I’ll text you the address. I can pick up something, too, if you want.”
“Nah, I got this. Consider it a housewarming gift.” She left me, happy to have gotten her way.
Later, as I drove home after work, I pulled into my driveway just as Tara passed behind me. She tooted her horn and waved, smiling happily. I raised my hand, not much of a wave, but not ignoring her either.
It seemed things were going great at the Hunter household. At least, it looked that way judging by the smile I’d seen on her face. Heading inside, I went to the back to take care of the animals before Nancy arrived.
My doorbell rang just as I finished up in the back, and I hurried to answer it. Nancy’s smile and a bottle of wine greeted me. “I’ve got the goods.”
Letting her in, I stepped back. I even managed a smile. “Come in. I’ve just finished my chores, and I’m free to plan with you.” Heading to the kitchen, I added, “I’ll grab a couple of wine glasses.”
With nothing left to do, I took a seat while Nancy fished out the wine opener and set out the cheeseboard. “I’ve got to say, you’ve got the gift, Nancy. They picked the right party planner in you. Me, I’m not so sure about. But they’ve got a gem in you.”
“Right? I really do love planning—especially parties. I think you’ll love this wine, by the way.” She filled our glasses and took the seat opposite me, pulling out a pen and a pad of paper from her purse. “I’m prepared to take down the notes of this meeting.” She laughed. “Sorry, I just never get to have meetings anymore since I left the law firm to take over the bookkeeping at the clinic.”
I didn’t know much about Nancy and took the opportunity to get to know her better. “Why did you leave a cushy job like that, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Well, I worked way too many hours there.” She leaned back, taking another drink of the wine. “When I married Harry I had to transition to something that wasn’t so time-consuming. So, I went from being a lawyer’s assistant to being the bookkeeper at the clinic.”
“Why’d you have to work less?” I asked, then picked up some cheese to nibble on.
“He had two kids,” she said, as if that meant anything to me. “You know, he needed my help with them.”
“And their mother?” I asked, thinking that should’ve been her job, not Nancy’s.
“She works, too.” She picked up a grape and popped it into her mouth. “I love these cheeseboard thingys.”
“Well, how did you come into play in that whole thing?” I asked. “I mean, you’re just their stepmother.”
“Honey, I’m not just a stepparent. I’m a parent to those kids. I love them like they’re my own.” She pointed at the small row of meats. “Try one of those; they’re smoked to perfection.”
I picked up some of what she’d pointed out, feeling like I had an appetite for the first time in a week. And I desperately wanted to hear more about her family situation. “Do you get along with Harry’s ex?”
“We did not get along well at all, at first.” She took another drink of wine. “They’d only been divorced for a year, and I think she was kind of surprised he’d found someone to put up with the things she couldn’t stand. Harry’s a bit of a sloppy person. She hated that about him. I don’t care so much. And I’m picking up after everyone else anyway, so I don’t think it’s a big deal.”
“She left him because he’s sloppy?” I thought that sounded rather shallow.
“No, she left him because they no longer loved each other.” Taking another sip of the wine, she asked, “If I get too tipsy will it be okay to leave my car here overnight? I’ll take a cab home. This is going down a little too easy, but I don’t want to stop.”
“Of course, you can leave your car here. It’s not a problem at all.” Knowing that Nancy had stepkids and had learned to deal with an ex-wife, I knew I had to get more information out of her. “So, your husband’s ex never wanted to get back together with him for their kids’ sakes?”
“No.” She looked rather confused. “Why would she? She left him, and he was fine with that. They’d grown apart.”
From the way Harman told it, he and his ex had never been that close, but he’d taken her back. I felt the urge to unburden myself about my own issues, hoping Nancy would be able to lend a sympathetic ear. I’d been so tight-lipped about my private life for the most part, and I’d forgotten how good it felt to share with someone. “I’ve been seeing this guy. He’s got a little boy—he’s eight. So, this man I’ve been seeing only married his ex-wife because she was pregnant; they were never in love, and they never fell in love during their six-year marriage.
“She left him a couple of years ago, and he’d never dated until me. And we fell in love—quick. But he’d told me before we started dating that if his ex wanted to come back, he’d let her. He felt it was important for their son to do that.”
“Well, that’s stupid.” Nancy rolled her eyes.
“Is it?” No one else had seemed to think so—least of all, Tara. In a way, it seemed like the right thing to do.
“It is.” She took another drink, so I did, too. “No good marriage ever ends in divorce—and why should two people who don’t make each other happy stay together just for the children? Or child, in their case. It’s not for the child, I can tell you that. Children are perceptive. Even if they don’t feel it at the time, when they get older, they’ll realize that their parents didn’t have a good relationship. Then these kids are saddled with the knowledge that they were the reason their parents lives were so miserable. No, whoever said that couples should stay together for the kids was severely misguided—I saw that not only as stepparent, but as a child of miserable parents. Tell your guy not to entertain any thoughts about letting his ex back in. Unless he really does have feelings for her, that is.”
After another sip, I asked, “And if his ex asked me to back off so she could win her kid back—she’s been pretty neglectful of him lately—then what?”
“Now her kid is a different story. You’ve got to give that boy’s mother room to be his mother. Don’t try to take over her role. But you can take on your own motherly role if
the kid wants you to.” She picked up a piece of cheese, wagging it as she went on. “If you love a man, you accept his kids. It’s a package deal. And sometimes that package comes along with an ex you have to learn to care about, too. Her feelings matter, too, and you don’t want to step on any mother’s toes.”
Finishing the glass of wine, I leaned up to refill it. “I don’t want to step on her toes. She was really young when she got pregnant. I don’t think she ever really developed that motherly instinct. My guy was about six years older than her, and she let him take the main parental role mostly. That’s what it sounded like to me, anyway.” I took another sip of wine, wondering if there was anything that could be done to fix my situation, or if it truly was time for me to move on.
Raising her eyebrows, Nancy asked, “So she counts on the boy’s father to do most of the raising then?”
“Yes.” Tara definitely counted on Harman way more than most mothers did. I was sure of that. Harman easily took on more than half of the share of parental responsibility. “She acted as though as long as the boy had his father, things were pretty good, and she didn’t need to be as present. But then I came along, and her son became attached to me. And it bothered her.”
“I bet it did,” Nancy said as she nodded. “Sometimes it takes another person stepping into your role to realize what a sub-par job you’re doing. But this is where your patience comes into play, Rebel. If this woman wants to step up now and make up for her earlier carelessness, then you can’t stand in the way of that. If that boy is already attached to you, then she could see that as a threat and become a real problem.”
“Yeah, she already has.” I found myself drinking until the glass was empty. The wine sure was going down smooth.
“What’s she done?” She looked a bit worried, probably because I’d consumed a whole glass of wine in under a minute.
“She told her ex that she wants it all back—him, the kid, their home.” I hiccupped then laughed hysterically. “And she did, just like that,” I snapped my fingers to punctuate my point. “She got it all back!”