by Banks, Maya
She was beautiful. There was no other word for it. There was a sweetness to her that inspired a physical ache. Except maybe when she was pissed off at him, but he had to admit, he’d been hugely turned-on when she got all scornful and puffed up like a ticked-off kitten. He’d wanted to fuck her right then and there and let her use those claws on his back.
“I thought it was pretty obvious what was going on,” Mia said, her eyes narrowing. “Blondie cornered me in the bathroom and made it plain she’d prefer the younger, richer Hamilton over the older, less wealthy version, and she wanted pointers on how to get you in her bed. Next thing I know, the two of you are glued together on the dance floor and your hand’s on her ass, not to mention a few other places.”
She paused and took in a deep breath. He could tell she was getting angry all over again, but he admired that she put it out there. She wasn’t afraid of him, and he liked that. He didn’t want a meek mouse, no matter that he wanted someone utterly submissive. There was a difference between submissive and spineless.
He wanted a strong woman with a mind of her own, but one who wouldn’t chafe under his dominance. Mia may well be the perfect match for him, and he wasn’t sure what to make of that.
“I know our relationship isn’t public. I get that I was there in a professional capacity. No one knows about us. There should have been no embarrassment involved for me. But I was humiliated and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted to crawl under a table and die because I kept thinking, we have a contract. I belong to him, but damn it, if I belong to him then he goddamn well belongs to me too, and there you were all cozy and touchy-feely with Blondie. You smiled at her, Gabe. And you don’t smile at anyone.”
His chest twisted at the edge of pain in her voice. At the accusation in her tone.
“It pissed me off and it humiliated me because all I could think was that you weren’t satisfied with me and that I wasn’t woman enough for you. We’ve been together, what, a few times and you’re already shopping for your next contract?”
“That’s bullshit,” Gabe said, angry that she’d been hurt by his actions. “Complete and utter bullshit. Look, I danced with her. I let her make her play for me because I wanted my father to see what he was tangled up in. She wasn’t subtle at all and I wanted my dad to see that. It pissed me off when he walked in with her and it made it worse that she was putting the moves on me with my dad right there. I haven’t gotten over my parents’ divorce. I’m not used to seeing my dad with a new woman every week. My mother is at home grieving for her marriage while my dad doesn’t seem to give a fuck. So yeah, I let her make her play and I made it obvious what she was doing, because my dad needs to see what kind of woman he replaced my mother with.”
Mia’s eyes softened and some of the anger left her as she touched Gabe on the arm. “It hurts you to see him with all these other women.”
“Hell yes it does,” Gabe bit out. “I looked up to them my entire fucking life. I was humiliated when Lisa and I divorced. I felt like the biggest damn failure because here my parents had kept it together and worked through their differences for almost forty years and I couldn’t keep my marriage together for three. They were an example of what marriage could be. They were proof that love does exist in this day and age and that marriages can make it if people work at it. Then all of a sudden, my dad walks out and they’re divorced within months. I still don’t understand it. It makes no goddamn sense. And I hate what it’s done to my mom. I’m so goddamn furious with my father and yet I love him. He let me down. He let our family down. And I can’t forgive him for that.”
“I understand,” she said gently. “When my parents died, I was so angry with them. How stupid is that? It wasn’t their fault. They certainly didn’t intend to get themselves killed. They were the victims of a drunk driver. And yet I was so angry with them for leaving me. If it weren’t for Jace, I don’t know what I would have done. He was my rock. I’ll never forget all he did for me.”
Gabe squeezed her to him. He knew she’d had a very difficult time after her parents had died. Jace had despaired of how to help her, of what to do. She was angry and grief stricken, and she’d seemed unreachable. It had driven Jace crazy as he tried to reach her, to take care of her and offer her love and support.
Jace had raised her, like a substitute father. Only he’d been everything to Mia. Father, mother and brother. Protector, sole source of support. Not many men would have done what he did, pushing everything to the side, any possibility of a family or relationship in order to take sole responsibility for a younger sister. Gabe admired him for that.
Mia hesitated and then put a small distance between her and Gabe, a fact he didn’t like, but he resisted the urge to anchor her more firmly against him. The action seemed too desperate, too needy. And he didn’t want to need anyone.
“Gabe…” She broke off, her expression filled with uncertainty. She seemed to battle whether or not to pose the question burning in her eyes.
He waited, unsure himself of whether he wanted her to ask whatever it was she was working up the nerve to say.
“What happened with you and Lisa? I know it hurt you—damaged you. I know she was the one to leave and that it had far-reaching ramifications.”
Gabe was silent a long moment. The very last thing he wanted was to discuss Lisa, or the betrayal he’d felt over the way they’d split up. Did he owe it to Mia to explain? No. He didn’t owe anyone a damn thing. But still, he felt himself loosening, wanting to explain to her so that maybe she would understand why the contract, why the exacting requirements. He’d never once explained himself to any of the women he’d been with since his divorce. It wasn’t a habit he wanted to get into. But Mia was different, and he realized this even as he grappled with the knowledge that her being different was dangerous.
“I’m sure the contract seems…extreme…to you,” he began. “Even cold. Heartless. Domineering. It probably makes me a huge asshole. There are a lot of words that come to mind.”
She didn’t respond, but he could see the knowledge in her eyes. There was no quick denial. No attempt to make him feel better, and he liked that about her. But there was no judgment either. Just…curiosity.
“Lisa and I shared a relationship in which I had complete control. I don’t want to delve into the whys and wherefores. Some things just are. It was—is—a need that I have. I don’t have some traumatic childhood that makes me the way I am. No emotional instability. It’s a kink, but more than that, it’s who I am. I can’t change that for anyone. I don’t want to change. I’m comfortable with who I am and what I want and need.”
She nodded. “I get that.”
“I don’t know why she left. Maybe I no longer satisfied her. Maybe she no longer wanted the kind of relationship we shared. Hell, maybe she only agreed in an effort to make me happy. Maybe she was never truly happy. I don’t know. At this point I don’t care. But when she left, she made a lot of baseless accusations. She crucified me in divorce court and to the media. She told anyone who would listen that I abused her and my power over her. She painted the relationship as nonconsensual, which was bullshit, because I let her know from day one what my expectations and needs were. I was very careful that she went into our relationship and marriage with her eyes wide open.”
Mia’s eyes became troubled and instantly on the heels came a look of sympathy. He hated that. He didn’t need anyone’s pity. It wasn’t why he was spilling his guts in some sappy, postcoital, snugly moment. He just wanted Mia to understand.
“If that kind of relationship no longer worked for her I wouldn’t have held that against her. All she had to do was be honest and say she wanted out. I would have provided generously for her. I would have supported her decision. Instead, she went on the attack and painted me as some abusive monster. That I’ll never forgive. I learned a very hard lesson with my marriage to her. I never went into another relationship without means of protecting myself from those kinds of accusations. It may be viewed as extreme, bu
t I don’t enter into a single relationship without signed, detailed contracts. I don’t do one-night stands. I don’t have casual sex. If a woman is going to be in my bed, she has all the facts and she’s signed a contract that protects both of us.”
“Maybe she needed to convince herself that you were this terrible person in order for her to be able to leave,” Mia said softly. “I can’t imagine walking out on a marriage is ever easy.”
Gabe snorted. “Tell that to my dad. You’re naïve, Mia. Sweet, but naïve. People walk out of marriages every day. I’ve always wondered what makes someone wake up one morning and say, ‘Hey, this is the day I’m going to ditch my husband or wife.’ Loyalty should count for something. Nobody wants to work it out nowadays. It’s too easy to get a divorce lawyer and move on.”
She put her hand on his chest, the gesture infinitely soothing. He liked her touching him. God help him, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever get enough. He’d take and take from Mia until there was nothing left. Until she became a Lisa and could endure it no longer. He never wanted another woman to feel as Lisa had evidently felt. It was far better to take his pleasure and move on. The very thing he accused Lisa and his father of. Maybe he was no better than they were after all.
“Not everyone will betray you, Gabe,” she said quietly. “There are many who are loyal to you. You can’t control everything. You can’t control how someone feels about you. Or what makes them tick. You can only control how you react, how you act, how you think and feel.”
“You’re amazingly wise for someone as young as you are,” he said wryly. “Why do I just feel like I’ve been schooled by someone fourteen years younger than me?”
She leaned over, surprising him with her kiss. Her lips lingered over his, warm and so damn sweet. Her bare breasts brushed over his chest, and God help him, his dick hardened instantly.
“You’re too hung up on this age thing,” she murmured. “Maybe I’m just smart.”
He chuckled and then claimed her lips again, his body already revving to life now that she was pressed against him again. But she hesitated and pushed back against him, her face going serious. He didn’t like that. He wanted her next to him, but it was clear she had one more thing she wanted to get off her chest.
“We need to get something straight now. I get the point you were trying to make to your dad. Giving me a heads-up wouldn’t have been out of line, just so you know. It pissed me off to see you wrapped around Blondie, and if that kind of crap ever happens again, I’ll walk out just like I did tonight. Only next time you won’t be able to sweet-talk your way back into my good graces. I get that you have all the power in this relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stand by and watch you feel up another woman while I’m forced to watch.”
She regarded him warily, like she was certain what she’d said was going to make him angry, but he threw back his head and laughed. When he looked back at her, she looked bemused and a little disgruntled over his reaction.
“You’re cute when you’re pissed,” he said, still grinning. “Maybe you aren’t as smart as you think if you agreed to this insanity.”
“Or maybe it’s the best decision I ever made,” she replied, her tone suddenly serious, her eyes regarding him somberly.
“That’s debatable, but I’m not going to spend time questioning my good fortune,” he said.
He wrapped his arms around her and rolled her beneath him, his cock already probing between her legs. He hoped to hell she was ready for him, because he couldn’t wait. Couldn’t spend another second outside her body.
But something about the conversation, the look in her eyes, the way she seemed so accepting, made him hesitate. Damn it, he’d take it slow this time. Give her what she deserved instead of a hard fucking that made him little better than an animal.
He didn’t have to be this cold, mistrustful person. For once he could concentrate on someone else’s pleasure instead of being selfish. For Mia he could do this. He wanted to do it. She deserved nothing less.
Instead of plunging into her, he kissed her. Softly. Without as much aggression as he had before. He nibbled delicately at her lips, feeding on them, coaxing her to open under his advance. His tongue swept over hers, teasing, flirting. Just the briefest touch and then he followed it with another. And another.
He slid his mouth down her jawline to her ear where he toyed with the lobe, swirling his tongue around the shell and then sucking lightly just below on the sensitive skin of her neck. He felt her shiver, felt immense satisfaction that he was bringing her pleasure.
Chill bumps rapidly broke out and raced across her flesh, hardening her nipples until they poked at his chest.
Unable to resist that particular temptation, he kissed a line down her chest, between her breasts, and then he lapped at the underswell, getting closer and closer to her straining peaks.
“Gabe…”
His name came out as a breathy sigh, and it had a volatile reaction to his already-aroused body. The head of his cock was nestled in her sweet heat, but he hadn’t pushed in yet. He wanted to make damn sure she was just as aroused as he was, and then he would take his time. He wanted her as wild for him as he was for her. He’d settle for nothing less.
Reaching between them, he grasped his dick and rubbed up and down her damp folds, over her clit and then back to tuck barely inside her entrance. He licked at one nipple, running his tongue slowly and leisurely across the puckered bud.
“You like this?” he murmured.
“Oh yes,” she breathed. “Suck them, Gabe. I love it when you put your mouth on my breasts.”
God he loved it too. He trembled he was so on edge. He needed her. Needed to possess her. He wanted to drive deep and hard, remind her without words who she belonged to. It was hell battling those instincts, but he forced himself to maintain control.
He nipped gently at one nipple and then followed it with a light lick before finally sucking the crown into his mouth. He held it there, working it with his mouth, enjoying the feel and taste of her on his tongue. There was nothing sweeter. Nothing as exquisite as having her underneath his body, his mouth and hands on her, tasting, touching, exploring. And she was his. All his. He could have her any time he wanted as many times as he wanted. It was like putting a feast before a starving man and telling him to have his fill. He wanted everything at once. To lose himself in her and forget everything else.
Her hand slid into his hair, gripping his scalp, her nails digging in as she held him to her breasts. It was the first time she was remotely aggressive in bed, and he liked it. He liked it a damn lot. It told him she was there with him, sharing this mind-blowing, crippling obsession. He wasn’t alone.
She arched her hips, pushing herself at him, trying to maneuver his dick inside her. Wetness bathed the head of his cock, and he knew she was more than ready, but he still didn’t make that final move. He wanted her mindless. Wanted to bring her pleasure like she’d never experienced.
Kneeling up, his erection bobbing, he kissed a path from her breasts to her belly. She flinched and moaned when his tongue delved into her navel. He played there a moment, enjoying her restless movements as her desire rose.
He kissed his way to her pelvis and then over to one hip where he lavished her skin with sweet, gentle kisses. He ran his tongue down her leg, to the inside of her thigh and precariously close to her pussy. But he stopped before he reached her most intimate flesh.
Her sigh of frustration made him smile.
He sank his teeth lightly into the inside of her thigh and then followed it up with a soothing swipe of his tongue before venturing lower, grazing his teeth down the inside of her leg, past her knee and lower still to her ankle.
Her toes were tiny, painted pink, a delightful shade that complemented her well. He sucked her big toe into his mouth and suckled at it as he’d done her nipples. Then he treated each toe to the same, working his way across her foot.
“God but you make even the simplest things unbelievably hot,”
she choked out. “I’ve never had my toes sucked. I would have said gross, but your mouth is pure sin.”
He gazed at her over her raised foot. “Gross?”
“Forget I ever said anything. Carry on.”
He laughed and then lowered her leg and began all over again at her other hip, licking and kissing a path to those tiny, delectable toes. He sucked each and every one into his mouth, licking the pad and then sucking more strongly.
He loved that she was unapologetically feminine, and yet she had a strong personality and she didn’t take shit lying down. She was going to be a challenge. A welcome challenge, and a change from the women he was accustomed to. She may very well keep him on his toes over the coming weeks.
He wanted to spoil and pamper her shamelessly. Let her indulge in all the girlie delights she wanted. He wanted to see her smile—be the one who made her smile. He wanted that shine in her eyes to come from him. If that made him a selfish, egotistical, self-serving bastard, he could live with that.
He took hold of both feet and pushed forward, doubling her legs and then spreading them as he knelt between her thighs. She was splayed wide open to him, the soft, pink flesh of her pussy glistening in the low light.
Resting one foot against his shoulder, he reached and trailed a finger down the seam of her pussy and then slid it inside, feeling the snug tissues hug him. Sweat broke out on his forehead. He wanted inside her so badly he was about to come.
He leaned down and licked from her entrance to her clit in one rough swipe that had her bowing off the bed. Her cry escaped. His name. An urgent demand for satisfaction. He could sense that she was at the end of her patience, and that was fine with him because he couldn’t hold off another second.
Moving in closer, he grasped his erection and fitted it to the mouth of her pussy. For a moment he toyed, sliding it in and out the barest inch until she growled at him in frustration.