by Banks, Maya
“Baby, look at me.”
It wasn’t a request. It was a firmly worded command. One she instantly obeyed. While Jace was still holding back and easing her into their relationship, in the days since their emotional discussion about the course of their relationship, he’d become more comfortable demonstrating his dominance.
He’d gradually become more forceful, not only in bed, but in their everyday existence. And in the beginning, she’d truly wondered if she’d chafe at his authority over her, but in fact she’d embraced it. She reveled in her well-ordered existence. As soon as Jace had taken that step in exerting his dominance, a part of her had sighed in relief. It had been so freeing to hand over responsibility to someone who cared about her. Someone who took care of her and was insanely protective of her.
It gave her a measure of security she hadn’t enjoyed until now. It made her feel . . . safe.
“You do Gabe and Mia and Ash a huge disservice by thinking they’d feel any such way about you. They aren’t judgmental. They aren’t snobs. They’re not going to care about your past or where you came from. All they’re going to care about is that you make me happy because they care about me. And by extension, because they care about me, they’re going to love you. All I’m asking is that you give them a chance.”
She was suddenly ashamed because Jace was right. She wasn’t giving them a chance. She’d already passed judgment on them. The very thing she feared they’d do to her.
“I’m being a reverse snob,” she said quietly. “You’re right. I’m not being fair.”
He squeezed her to him again and kissed the side of her head. “You’re understandably nervous. I don’t fault you for that. What I’m saying, though, is that it’s going to be okay. Trust me?”
She nodded and he looked relieved.
They arrived a few minutes later and Jace helped her from the car. He wrapped his arm around her and cautioned her not to slip as they hurried toward the entrance to Gabe’s apartment building.
Butterflies took over, swarming her stomach as they rode the elevator to the top floor. When it opened, she was immediately assailed by delicious smells. A mixture of cooking food, and what smelled like scented holiday candles. Peppermint and pine?
The interior of the apartment was aglow with candles and in the corner of the living room was a huge tree, twinkling with hundreds of lights. The entire living room was decorated festively and the fireplace was on.
“Jace!”
A petite, dark-haired woman hurried over and immediately engulfed Jace in a huge hug. Jace’s smile was instant as he hugged her back. Then she pulled away and turned her warm smile on Bethany.
“You must be Bethany. I’m Mia, Jace’s sister. I’ve heard so much about you. I’m so happy you’re here!”
Bethany started to stick out her hand but Mia enfolded her in a hug similar to the one she’d given Jace. Bethany awkwardly returned it.
“Thank you for having me,” Bethany murmured.
“Hey, there you guys are.”
Bethany glanced up to see a gorgeous, tall man walk up behind Mia and slip his arm around her waist. She remembered him from the party. Actually, she remembered both of them. She’s stared wistfully at them as they’d danced and had thought they looked so much in love. She wasn’t about to draw attention to the fact that she’d been part of the waitstaff at their engagement party, though, and so she pasted a bright smile and pretended this was the first time she’d ever seen either one.
Gabe slapped Jace on the back and then turned to Bethany.
“Hi, Bethany. I’m Gabe, Jace’s friend and business partner. About to become his brother-in-law, if my bride to be will put me out of my misery and set a wedding date.”
“Hi, Gabe,” she managed to choke out.
Jace’s arm came around her, steadying her and offering silent support. In that moment she loved him for that.
“Come on in the kitchen,” Mia said. “That’s where everyone is congregated, drinking wine and snacking on the fruit and cheese tray.”
She tucked Bethany’s arm underneath hers so that Bethany was flanked by both Mia and Jace and then pulled them both toward the kitchen.
Bethany’s stomach dropped when they met Ash in the doorway. She nearly ran into him as he scooted to the side to get out of the way.
“Hey, man,” Ash said. “Glad you two made it.”
Then he leaned forward and kissed Bethany on the cheek.
“Hello, Bethany. You look beautiful.”
She was positive she blushed. Try as she might, she couldn’t control her instant mortification as she stared at Ash. Ash was playing it cool. Jace was playing it cool. She was the only one acting like an idiot.
“Thank you,” she said, forcing a smile to her lips.
Ash smiled warmly at her and then reached down to squeeze her hand. He leaned forward as if to kiss her other cheek in greeting and whispered so only she could hear.
“It’ll be fine, Bethany. Don’t be nervous.”
With that simple gesture, Bethany relaxed and allowed herself to fully breathe for the first time since leaving Jace’s apartment. This time her smile was genuine and she squeezed Ash’s hand back in thanks.
Jace shot Ash a look of gratitude and the tension that perhaps she’d imagined to begin with dissipated. Jace curled his arm around Ash’s shoulders and the two engaged in mock wrestling.
“Not much changes around here,” an older woman said as she pushed forward. Her smile was indulgent and it was obvious that she regarded Ash and Jace with affection. “You boys still act like you did as teenagers.”
Jace smiled and pulled her into his arms. “Hello, Mama H.” He kissed her temple and then turned to Bethany. “Bethany, I’d like you to meet Gabe’s mom. Mrs. H., this is Bethany Willis.”
Enfolded in another warm hug, Bethany felt her reserve slowly melting around the infectious charm of Jace’s family.
“It’s wonderful to meet you, dear.”
“Oh hey, here’s Mr. H. now,” Jace said.
Bethany looked beyond Mrs. Hamilton to see an older man push forward.
“Nice to meet you, young lady,” he said in a gruff voice. “Jace is very fortunate.”
Bethany blushed and extended her hand. Ignoring it, Mr. Hamilton hugged her. Bethany had never been around such a spontaneous, huggy bunch of people. It was weird and yet . . . nice.
“So did you cook, Mia? Or did you cheat and have it catered?” Jace said in a teasing voice.
Mia shot him a dirty look. “Gabe’s mom and I cooked. I’ll have you know it’s pretty awesome, if I have to say so myself.”
“It smells wonderful,” Bethany said quickly.
Mia smiled. “Thanks. It’s good. Promise.”
Then Mia turned and made shooing motions with her hands. “Okay, guys, out of the kitchen. You’re in the way. Go in the living room and do whatever it is guys do. I need half an hour and then we can eat.” She glanced at Bethany. “Want to hang out with us in the kitchen? You can always go with Jace but we don’t bite.”
Bethany found herself smiling in response to the other girl’s open warmth. “I’ll stay.”
Jace embarrassed her when he leaned down to brush his lips across her mouth. “I won’t be far,” he murmured.
She blushed because everyone had seen him kiss her. How could they have missed it?
Mia grinned and exchanged conspiratorial glances with Mrs. Hamilton. They both looked delighted.
The men sauntered out of the kitchen, leaving the women.
“Okay, sit, Bethany,” Mia ordered. “You too, Mrs. H. This won’t take me long. I just need to make the gravy. Rest is all done.”
“You sure you don’t need help?” Bethany asked hesitantly.
Mia shook her head. “Sit, sit. We’ll have
girl time. Which, speaking of, I’ve already told Jace this, but knowing him he didn’t pass the info along. You have to go out to the club with me and my girlfriends. You’d love them. They’re all really terrific. We go out every once in a while, have a blast and then let Gabe get us home afterward. I only made the mistake of taking a cab home alone once. Let’s just say Gabe wasn’t very pleased with me.”
Bethany’s eyes widened both by the invitation and the fact that Gabe had been angry with Mia.
Mia laughed. “He pitched a fit but he got over it. To keep the peace, I let him have his way and now we take a car home. Gabe’s happy so it works out.”
“I don’t drink, but I’d love to go.”
Mia’s expression became sympathetic and she reached over to squeeze Bethany’s hand. “You and I can drink water. I don’t tolerate alcohol very well. I had the hangover last time to prove it.”
There was something in Mia’s expression that bothered Bethany. Almost as if Mia knew . . . Of course. Jace would have told her. Bethany’s face went warm as a flush crept up her neck. Shame followed closely behind. She dropped her gaze and folded her shoulders inward in an instinctive, protective gesture.
“Bethany?”
Mia’s soft voice filled the silence.
“I’m sorry. Was it something I said?” Mia asked.
Bethany lifted her gaze, meeting the concern in Mia’s eyes. “It was your expression. It said it all.”
“Jace told you about me,” Bethany said bluntly. She was amazed she was being so bold and putting it out there. It wasn’t typical of her. She avoided conflict at all costs. She certainly never instigated one.
It was then Bethany noticed that Mrs. Hamilton had quietly left the kitchen. Mia walked around the bar and climbed onto the stool next to Bethany.
“Yes, he told me,” Mia said in a calm voice. “I don’t think he would have but when I suggested you going to the club with us, he warned me. He’s obviously protective of you and he knows how my girls and I are when we go out. He didn’t want us to push you into anything. But Bethany, you have to understand, what he told me doesn’t make me think badly of you. It doesn’t make me think anything at all other than my brother has found a woman he cares deeply about and that makes me happy. You make him happy. So I’m going to like you no matter what’s in your past.”
Bethany swallowed against the knot forming in her throat. “I hope I do make him happy,” she whispered. “I don’t have anything to give him.”
Mia smiled. “And you think I have anything to give a man like Gabe? Like he doesn’t have everything he could possibly want or need? He seems to just want me and is happy with just that. I have a feeling Jace is the same way.”
Bethany smiled back. It was hard not to like Mia. She was genuine. There wasn’t an ounce of fakeness to her.
“Okay, let me get this gravy done,” Mia said, sliding from the barstool. “The menfolk will start to get restless and cranky.”
Twenty minutes later, everyone was seated at the formal dining table. The centerpiece was beautiful. Gorgeous, vibrant red poinsettias with elegant tapered candles on either side. Elaborate candelabras were positioned on the sideboard and the lights were dimmed to cast an intimate glow over the table.
Gabe and his father occupied the two ends of the table with Mrs. Hamilton on her husband’s left and Mia to the left of Gabe. Bethany had been positioned across the table from Mia and Gabe and Jace were on either side of her, with Ash next to Mia and across the table from Jace.
The food was delicious but Bethany found herself lost in the flow of conversation. The problem with being homeless and penniless was that she had nothing in common with these people. No common interests. She hadn’t kept up with recent events. She was clueless about sports, the world of finance, and even more clueless about business.
The longer the meal went on, the more conspicuous Bethany felt because of her prolonged silence. The others were starting to glance at her with concerned looks and Bethany pasted on a bright smile, nodding and acting as though she were concentrating on her food. And she was. Even being with Jace for as long as she’d been now, it was still ingrained in her not to waste food. She still lived with the idea that she never knew when her next good meal would be and so she had to make the most of the one she was enjoying.
As if finally sensing just how ill at ease she was, Jace reached underneath the table, rubbed his hand down her thigh and then lightly squeezed just above her knee.
He leaned over her to get a roll and murmured, “Relax, baby.”
She was mortified when it appeared that Gabe heard Jace. Gabe glanced in her direction, his eyes softening.
She just wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole. Better yet, she really just wanted to go back to her apartment. She was in sensory overload. Too many people. Too much conversation. She wasn’t used to having to perform social niceties.
It wasn’t that they were horrible or that she didn’t like them. It was just awkward and out of her scope. She felt completely inadequate despite Jace’s repeated attempts to make her feel as though she belonged.
That was on her. Jace, his family, no one had made her feel that way. It was strictly her own doing. Her own insecurity.
“I love your tree,” Bethany said quietly in Mia’s direction.
Mia beamed. “I do too. I adore Christmas trees. Jace used to always take me to Rockefeller Center for the lighting of the tree. It was a tradition I looked forward to. It was where Gabe proposed to me.”
Bethany’s heart twisted at the instant warmth that spread over Gabe’s features. His gaze was riveted on Mia.
“I love Christmas trees too,” Bethany said wistfully. “I never had one. A real one, I mean. In an actual home.”
As soon as the words popped out of her mouth, she wanted to die. Her look of horror couldn’t be contained. She couldn’t believe she’d just blurted that out. She couldn’t bear to gauge the others’ reactions to what she’d said.
Before she said anything else to humiliate herself, she shot up from her seat. Jace reached for her, but she was just beyond his grasp. She left the table, heading blindly for the kitchen.
“Jesus,” Ash muttered. “She’s never had a Christmas tree?”
Jace was standing, torn between going after her and giving her a moment to compose herself. He glanced at his friend and then at the grim expressions on Gabe’s and Mia’s faces, the soft sympathy in Mrs. Hamilton’s eyes.
“This has been torture for her,” Jace said quietly. “This whole day. Damn it, I shouldn’t have made her come.”
“Did we say anything wrong?” Mia asked anxiously.
“No, baby girl, you did everything fine. I appreciate it. This is just hard for her. She’s not used to any of the things we take for granted. She’s not used to being around people, much less people who care. She was a nervous wreck about meeting you all. She doesn’t want to embarrass me.” He broke off with brittle laughter. “She doesn’t think she’s good enough for me.”
“Shit,” Gabe murmured. “I hope you put an end to that crap.”
“I think maybe we should go,” Jace said, casting a look of apology to the table.
Mia nodded and Gabe rose, putting his hand on Jace’s shoulder. “If you need anything, let us know.”
“Will do. Thanks for the great food, Mia. You outdid yourself.”
“Give Bethany our love,” Mia said softly.
Jace smiled at her. “I will.”
chapter twenty-five
Jace hugged Bethany to his side as they hurried into the cold and toward his waiting car. She hadn’t met his gaze once after he’d told her they were leaving. Mia and Gabe, hell, even Ash—especially Ash—had been extremely gentle with her, hugging and kissing her good-bye and acting as though nothing had gone wrong.
But Bethany h
ad been mortified. It was evident in the tight lines of her body and the anguish in her eyes.
He ushered her into the car and kept her close to him as they pulled into traffic. He’d already given his driver their destination when he’d called to tell him they were ready to leave Gabe’s apartment. She didn’t even notice when they didn’t head in the direction of either of their apartments. She likely thought he planned to take her to her apartment. Maybe even thought he’d stay over with her.
As if she was staying anywhere but his place on Christmas night.
He was growing more and more impatient with the distance between them. He wanted her in his apartment, in his space. In his bed every night. No, there hadn’t been a single night since he’d moved her into her apartment that they’d spent apart, but many of those nights had been spent at her place.
His mind told him not to move too fast, not to push too hard, that the end result could be disastrous. His heart just wanted . . . her. In his arms, his bed, his life. Any way he could make it happen.
When they pulled up in front of Saks Fifth Avenue, Bethany finally became aware that they hadn’t gone back to her apartment. She lifted her head and gazed around in consternation.
“Where are we?”
He leaned over to silence her by kissing her. Then he opened his door and gently pulled her from the car.
“Jace, what are we . . .”
She broke off when her gaze lighted on the Christmas tree that towered above the ice skating rink. Tears immediately filled her eyes and it made his chest squeeze painfully.
“Oh, Jace.”
She went silent, her eyes rapt and alight with joy. She stared, motionless, her breath puffing out in a cloud.