by Banks, Maya
“Is this going to be a serious discussion?” she asked, no longer able to keep the teasing note from her voice.
There was no doubt that Ash radiated seriousness today. And it was starting to feel suffocating. She needed to lighten the moment, even if for a brief second. It wasn’t in her nature to take everything so seriously. And Ash was an intense guy. Maybe he’d eventually lighten up around her, or maybe he’d always be this . . . broody . . . when it came to her.
His hold tightened around her. “Yeah. It’s serious. Everything about me and you is serious. I get that this seems heavy, especially today when we hash it all out. It won’t always be this . . . intense. But today, yeah. Need to get whatever out that has the potential to hurt you, because that I will not allow going forward.”
Her brow furrowed again and she pushed up so she could see his eyes. So serious and intent. On her. Watching her every reaction.
“What is it, Ash?” she asked. “What is it you think is going to hurt me?”
He sighed. “Don’t know if it will or not, but it could. If you don’t understand it from the start. I just don’t want you blindsided. If you’re prepared and you know everything, then it doesn’t have the power to catch you off guard.”
She reached up to touch his jaw, running her fingertips over the slight stubble. He hadn’t shaved this morning, and the dark blond formed a shadow on his jaw.
“Then tell me. I’ll understand.”
He caught her hand and kissed it, pressing his mouth into her palm.
“Jace Crestwell is my best friend. He and Gabe Hamilton. But Jace . . . We share a bond. Gabe is my best friend, no doubt. But Jace and I have always had a closer friendship. He’s my brother in every sense of the word. I trust him. He has my back and I have his. Always. We used to share everything, and by that I mean women. I’ve had a lot of threesomes over the years with Jace.”
Her brow crinkled, her eyebrows bunching as she stared into his eyes. And to think she’d been worried that she’d be expected to share him with other women. This she hadn’t expected. She couldn’t imagine as possessive as Ash had been with her so far that he’d want her to have sex with another man while he watched or participated. Furthermore, it wasn’t something she wanted.
“Is that something . . . I mean, is that what you’ll want to do with me? Share me with another man?”
“Fuck no.”
The denial was explosive, the words rushing from his mouth in a puff of air she felt on her chin. Relief hit her hard and she relaxed, waiting for him to continue.
“I didn’t get it then,” he muttered. “How Jace was with Bethany. I didn’t understand it. But I do now.”
“You’re losing me,” she said patiently. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
“As I said, Jace is my best friend. He’s involved with Bethany. They’re engaged. We’ll see them a lot. I’ll want to share you with them. Their friendship I mean. They’re important to me and you’re important to me. So we’ll spend time with them. And what you need to know is that in the beginning, the first night that Jace and Bethany were together, I was with them.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you . . . do you still have . . . threesomes . . . with them?”
Ash shook his head. “Hell no. Jace didn’t want it the first time. I didn’t know it at the time. It’s fucked up and complicated, but what you need to know is that I’ve had sex with Bethany. And you’ll see her. And Jace. And I don’t want it to be awkward for you. It was awkward as hell the first few times we were all together after that night. But we’re cool with it now. Bethany’s cool with it and so is Jace. It’s not something that gets brought up. But it’s there. And I don’t want it to hurt you when you look at her and know that I’ve had sex with her. Because there’s nothing there, Josie. Nothing but deep friendship. Bethany’s a great woman. I think you’ll like her. But she is no threat to you.”
“I understand,” she said quietly. “I appreciate you telling me. Being up front with me about it. I can see how it would be awkward, especially if I didn’t know and somehow put my foot in my mouth in front of them.”
His gaze focused on her, studying her intently. “Is that going to be a problem with you? Spending time with a woman I’ve fucked and that I care a great deal about?”
“Not if you tell me it shouldn’t be a problem for me.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s not a problem. Like I said, I didn’t get where Jace was coming from then. His possessiveness where Bethany was concerned. We’d never had a woman come between us like that. There’d never been one who mattered. But I get it now because I know I don’t want to share you with anyone, and especially not my best friend, even if he was single and not in a relationship. And as for other men, that is not something you ever have to worry about. I’ve had threesomes with Jace and another woman. A hell of a lot of times. I won’t lie. We’ve fucked our way through countless women over the years. It’s not something I’m proud of but it’s not something I lose sleep over either. It is what it is. But there will be no threesomes with you, Josie. It’s only going to be you and me. I’m going to be the only man making love to you from now on.”
It all sounded so final, and yet she knew they were just words. How could they be anything else? They’d known each other such a short time. They’d only had sex once. And he was talking like this was a done deal. That they were permanent and in a committed relationship long-term.
While she didn’t doubt his commitment, or even her own, there was no way she could look down the road with any authority. There were too many what-ifs.
“Now tell me what you’re thinking,” he prompted.
She smiled. “I’m not sure how you expected me to react, Ash. Did you think I’d change my mind because you’ve had kinky sex with a bunch of women? You’re what, thirty-five? Thirty-six? It’s not realistic to think you hadn’t had affairs.”
“I’m thirty-eight. Almost thirty-nine,” he corrected.
“Okay, well, so you’re thirty-eight. I’ve just told you that I had a relationship—and sex—with a man as recently as a few weeks ago. I can hardly condemn you for having similar relationships.”
“But we won’t be seeing the man you fucked,” Ash pointed out.
She sighed. “I won’t say it’ll be fun to look at her and mentally compare our performance, or even imagine you and your friend both making love to her. But I’ll deal, Ash. And if she’s as nice as you say she is, then I’ll like her and hopefully we can be friends. I’ll just have to not torture myself by visualizing you in bed with her.”
“It was only one time,” he said gruffly. “Don’t want you thinking about it at all when we get together. Because know this, Josie, no matter who was in the past, you’re my present and my future. And those women have nothing on you.”
A smile curved her lips and she leaned in, pressing her forehead to his. “I’ll do my best not to think about it at all, then.”
“Good. Now, it’s almost lunchtime and we still need to sort out your apartment. Want to go grab a bite to eat and then swing by your apartment so you can get all your art supplies? If you make a list of stuff while we’re there, I’ll have someone go over and get it all packed for you. Don’t want you worrying about anything other than settling into my place.”
“That sounds fine to me,” she said.
He kissed her hungrily. “We’ll see the others in time. But for now, I want you all to myself. I’m tempted to call in to work Monday and spend the week with you.”
Her heart fluttered. It was a tempting visual. An entire week in Ash’s bed. In his arms.
“Unfortunately, with Gabe on his honeymoon and the deals we have working, Jace and I can’t miss.”
“I understand,” she said easily. “I have work to do too.”
“Like the idea of you working in my space,” he murmured. “When I’m at the o
ffice, you’ll be here. I like that image. And then you here when I get home. Wearing nothing, Josie. I’ll call you when I’m on my way home each day, and when I get here, I want you naked and waiting. Unless I tell you different, that’s the way I want it.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
chapter fourteen
Jace was waiting for Ash when Ash got into his office Monday morning. Not that Ash had any doubt his friend would be chomping at the bit to pick his brain after Ash’s late-night phone call Saturday night.
Jace was sitting in Ash’s office when Ash walked in. Jace’s worried gaze found him.
“You get everything sorted out?” Jace asked, not even giving Ash time to sit down.
Ash tossed his briefcase onto his desk and then flopped down into his chair, glancing over at his friend whose eyes were dark with concern.
“I’m working on it,” Ash murmured. “Made a few calls on my way into work. Need to get a man on the asshole, monitor his movements, figure out the best time to strike.”
“Jesus,” Jace muttered. “You’re serious about this.”
Ash’s eyebrow went up. There was a stack of notes on Ash’s desk. Missed calls that needed returning. Documents that needed his signature. But he left them untouched, leaning back in his chair as he calmly surveyed Jace across his desk.
“Have I given you any reason to believe I’m anything but dead serious? He hurt her, Jace. He put bruises on her face. No way in fuck I’m letting it go. She was too scared and shocked to report it. But I’m glad she didn’t because I can make the bastard suffer far more. He would have been out of jail in two seconds, and it’s doubtful anything would have come of it. You know how this kind of shit gets brushed underneath the rug. Especially when you have the money and connections to make it go away.”
“He has all that?” Jace asked.
“Some, yeah. No match for me, though. I’m going to make damn sure he gets the message. Josie is mine and if he ever fucks with her again, he’s a dead man.”
“How is Josie taking all of this?” Jace asked quietly.
Ash paused. “Okay I think. I didn’t really give her time to process much. When I hit her apartment after bailing on dinner Friday night, I didn’t give her any options. I packed her shit up and told her she was moving in with me. It was an asshole move. She needed gentle handling, but I knew if I gave her space she might never come to me. So I pressed my advantage when she was overwhelmed and shaken and I moved in quick.”
A smile quirked the corners of Jace’s mouth. “You? Asshole moves? Aren’t you supposed to be the charming, nice guy? Thought being an asshole was mine and Gabe’s job.”
Ash grimaced. “Why the fuck does everyone think I’m such a laid-back pansy?”
Jace snorted. “Never said that, man. But you’re usually Mr. Polished when it comes to women. Never known you to be off your game.”
“The other women didn’t matter,” Ash said simply. “Josie does. Can’t afford to play it safe with her. Have to press my advantage when I have it.”
Jace took in a long breath, his gaze intently studying Ash. After a moment, Ash shifted uncomfortably underneath his friend’s scrutiny.
“Are you thinking long term here?” Jace asked. “You say she’s different and already I’ve seen just how different you are about her. You’re talking about breaking the law and doing God only knows what to the asshole who beat her up. But just how different are we talking here, Ash?”
“Think about how you felt when you met Bethany,” Ash said in an even tone.
“Shit,” Jace breathed. “Say no more. I get it. And congrats, man. Never thought it would happen for you this fast. You’ve always been so determined to live by our motto, ‘play hard and live free.’”
“Yeah, well, so were you,” Ash said dryly. “And don’t congratulate me yet. Too much shit to sort out, and while I may have Josie where I want her right now, it’s definitely not in the bag.”
“But knowing how I felt about Bethany, and you saying it’s like that? You’re done for, man. If you feel even half what I felt for Bethany in the beginning, this is it for you. And knowing you the way I know you, if Josie is what you want, you’re damn well not going to let her go.”
“Fuck no,” Ash muttered. “If she’s not with me for the long term, it’ll be because she fought me tooth and nail and won. And I don’t lose.”
“You thinking marriage? Absolute commitment? What are we talking here, Ash? I need to know so I can give you shit after all the insults you hurled mine and Gabe’s way when our balls were twisting in the wind over Bethany and Mia.”
Ash flipped up his middle finger. “I don’t know yet. Marriage is a big step. It’s permanent. And it’s too early to be thinking about marriage and babies and shit. All I can focus on is Josie and making sure she’s as into me as I’m into her.”
Jace nodded. “Yeah, I get it. But just so you know, I’m going to start planning that bachelor party now.”
Ash chuckled. “Whatever, man.”
Jace’s expression grew more serious and he leveled a hard stare in Ash’s direction. “Now what about the man who hurt Josie? You said you needed an alibi, and you know I’ll do whatever you need, but I need details here. Can’t say visiting you at Riker’s is on my top-ten list of shit to do for kicks and giggles.”
Ash sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m checking into it, as I said. But I want to move quickly on this. I want to get Josie settled, and part of that is me knowing that this asshole won’t be threatening her anymore. I got some preliminary info on him and his movements. He’s pretty predictable. Keeps to the same schedule. If that holds true, then I plan to address the situation Friday night.”
Jace’s eyes narrowed and he sat forward in his seat. “You as in you personally? Or are you having the issue taken care of by a third party?”
“Both,” Ash said, taking in his friend’s reaction.
“Jesus, Ash. Don’t fuck up, man. I doubt Josie wants to visit you in jail anymore than I do.”
“Not going to be an issue,” Ash said evenly. “The guys I have in mind are good. Cover all the bases. They’ll swear they don’t know me and I’ll swear I don’t know them. Don’t want to put you in a bad position and definitely don’t want Bethany involved, so I’d prefer if my alibi was only you and not the two of you together.”
Jace nodded. “Yeah, you know I don’t mind going to the wall for you. Ever. But I don’t want this touching Bethany. And whatever you need, man. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know. Appreciate it, Jace.”
“Let me know, okay? Don’t keep me in the dark. I’ll want details, and if you get into trouble, you better fucking call me. And don’t do this alone, got me? If you can’t arrange it with whatever men you plan to hook up with for the job, then you call me and I’ll go with you.”
Ash grinned. “Yes, Mother. Want to wipe my ass for me while you’re at it?”
“Fuck you,” Jace said rudely.
Ash chuckled and then sobered as he stared back at Jace. “Don’t want this touching Bethany or you. You providing me an alibi is enough. It’s more than I want to ask of you. I’d never do anything to jeopardize your relationship with Bethany.”
“Yeah, I know. But also know that you’re my brother, Ash. You’re family. Not those shitheads you share blood with. Me and Gabe and by extension Mia and Bethany. Don’t care what I have to do to help you. I’ll do it. No questions asked.”
“Christ, man. Stop it already or we’ll be a bunch of pansy-ass girls reaching for the fucking tissues.”
Jace threw back his head and laughed. “Okay, now that we have that squared away, when do I get to meet Josie?”
Ash huffed out a breath. “Soon. I want you and Bethany both to meet her. After I get this shit with her ex taken care of then I can breathe a little easier. Maybe we can have dinner Sunday
night.”
Jace nodded. “Sounds good to me.”
“She knows about Bethany.” Ash made a face. “I told her everything. Didn’t want it to catch her off guard, not that I think it would ever come up, but I didn’t want to take any chances.”
Jace winced. “How she’d take it? I can see how that would be awkward as hell when we’re all together. Especially now that she knows.”
“She was cool about it. I doubt any woman loves the idea of hanging with a woman her man slept with in the past. But I assured her that you had no intention of ever sharing Bethany with anyone ever again, and that furthermore, I wasn’t going to be involved in any threesomes and I sure as hell wouldn’t want to have a threesome with her and another guy.”
Jace scowled. “Fuck no I’m not sharing Bethany with anyone. Bad enough there was that one time with you.”
Ash held up his hands. “Don’t get all worked up. I didn’t bring it up to piss you off. I just wanted you to know that Josie knows. I was straight with her about everything regarding my sexual history.”
“Bet that took a while,” Jace said dryly.
“About as long as it took you to explain to Bethany,” Ash shot back.
“Touché,” Jace said with a grin. Then he stood, heading toward the door. “If that’s everything, I’m going to get to work. I have calls to make and a conference call in half an hour. You got lunch plans?”
Ash checked his watch. “No, but I plan to head home early today. Didn’t like leaving Josie on her own so quickly after I got her moved in. I have people bringing her shit over to my apartment and I told her I’d help her sort it all out when I got home. So I’ll probably skip lunch, get my desk cleared and then head out around two.”
Jace nodded. “Okay. Keep me posted. Especially about Friday night. We need to get our stories straight.”
“Will do,” Ash replied.
chapter fifteen
Josie put down her paintbrush and scrambled to wipe her hands before picking up her ringing cell phone. They shook slightly as she saw it was Ash calling. A flutter began in her belly, rising up into her throat.