Drive Me Sane

by Rogers, Dena

  CHAPTER 26

  The six o’clock alarm was a cruel awakening after battling another night’s sleep. More bouts of crying kept her up late into the night and when she couldn’t drift off even after the tears dried up, she reread Tyler’s last text and spent the next thirty minutes Googling the radio station he’d mentioned.

  Now, at precisely seven thirty, she sat balled up in the corner of the couch waiting for the eight o’clock morning show to start. She’d already downloaded an app to her phone so she could hear the interview. Her ears perked every time a song came to an end, thinking he would be there. Five minutes after eight, she started worrying that maybe there was another WTEN in some nearby city other than Nashville and when the host announced yet another song, she dropped her phone into her lap. Unable to sit there through the torment, she was just about to get up, when he chimed back in. “Up next, Tyler Creech is in the studio to tell us what it was like meeting George Strait for the first time.” Her heart skipped into a fast rhythm as her hands clutched her phone snugly to her ear.

  It was a sweet kind of torture when she heard the host welcome him on air. The seconds ticked by until his deep raspy sound echoed through the room. She hung on every word, internalizing everything from the pitch of his voice to the answers he gave. He was barely on air five minutes—long enough to discuss the record, his recent hit, and how much he enjoyed what he did, before they took a break. It seemed like the commercials went on forever before they came back on and Tyler told his story of meeting George Strait while in the bathroom at the recording studio. Another break followed, tantalizing her already frazzled nerves. Then the interview wrapped up with news of the tour before the first notes of her heartbreak began to play when “Box of Regrets” was introduced over the radio.

  Eyes flooding, she buried her head into the arm of the couch. She had hoped to hear enthusiasm for the journey he was about to embark on. She wanted proof that what she had done was right. But all she heard was the same stressed-out Tyler who had shown up at Roy’s three weeks ago and left two days before.

  They were both losing. He was miserable. She was miserable and for what reason? What’s wrong with things being easy? He’d asked her that the second night out by the train tracks. And hadn’t she promised herself that if she ever found happiness again she’d embrace if fully? So what if she needed him? He needed her too.

  Knowing he was busy, she beat the temptation to reach out immediately and instead tried to keep busy while she waited for his call. The day was long. No amount of laundry or cleaning took her mind off of him. He was there and always would be.

  By nine that night, she’d almost given up, but then her phone rang.

  Tingling with anticipation, she answered. “Hey.”

  The hope quickly dispelled when he answered back, “Hey.”

  The ragged texture of his voice was alarming. Call it intuition, but she knew something was definitely wrong and it wasn’t just the strain between them. “Is everything okay?”

  “I’m fine, but …”

  That was all she needed to hear for the worry to start. Anything Tyler might have said directly afterwards was rebounding off her eardrums. A pain stabbed down her neck through her shoulder stirring up the unsettled nausea. Doubling over, she sat down at the kitchen table, trying to make sense of what he was saying. She opened her mouth to ask, but the burning in her throat forced her to clamp it closed.

  “But what?” she finally let out, then stopped when the heaves of her chest captured her breath.

  “I’m okay. It was just a little accident.”

  “What kind of accident?” she expelled with a whimper.

  “A deer ran out in front of me and I swerved, rolling into a ditch. My truck isn’t nearly as lucky as the deer.”

  “But you’re okay?”

  “Yeah. It’s just a broken foot and a good-sized bump on my head. They’re keeping me overnight just to make sure.”

  “Where?”

  There was hesitation in his voice when he said, “Lake Cumberland Regional.”

  Gaining some ground on the shock of learning he was back in Kentucky, she stood, already on the move. Pulling out the junk drawer next to the refrigerator, she fumbled through it looking for the spare set of keys Roy told her was there.

  “Sera, I’m sorry …”

  “Stop!” she blubbered through falling tears. She did not want to talk to him. What she had to say couldn’t be done over the phone. She had to see him for herself, so she knew he was all right. Tucking the keys down into her pocket, she shot through the kitchen and living room, grabbing her purse on the table by the door. “I can’t talk to you about this right now.”

  CHAPTER 27

  Taking a deep breath, Sera sat behind the wheel of her uncle’s Toyota Corolla. She hadn’t driven in more than two years, had tried once when her commanding officer demanded that she follow an order to do so. Her refusal had earned her a trip to get a psych eval, and that was the beginning to the end of her time in the military.

  Since then, it was her stubbornness that stood in the way. No one, not even the army, was going to make her drive until she was ready—except Tyler. She was so mad at him now that the initial shock had worn off. Aside from the roughness in his voice, he sounded fine. And he had called, therefore he was capable of moving around, so he couldn’t have been terribly injured. But she wouldn’t be okay until she saw for herself.

  She sat idling the car for a few moments, waiting for the right moment to let go of all the past. As soon as she turned the key, she knew it was gone. All the fears, all the guilt, she had nothing left to hold her back. That had been the biggest problem all along: fearing that if she moved on, somehow she was betraying Rollins who hadn’t been able to do that. Tyler was right; there wasn’t any reason life couldn’t be simple. Pulling down the gear, she let her foot off the break and felt the car roll forward. Someday, she hoped Rollins would be able to understand that too.

  The first hour of the drive should have only taken forty-five minutes. Cars blew past her on the highway. A few even honked their horns when she wouldn’t speed up. Someone in a Subaru flipped her the bird as they sped out around into the adjacent lane. If her hands hadn’t been knuckle-clutching the wheel, she would have returned the gesture. She didn’t care. There was a slow lane for a reason and she wasn’t doing much under the speed limit anyway.

  She did better the second half of the drive when the main interstate turned into a two-lane highway. She thought a lot about both Rollins and Tyler in that last thirty minutes. Two men who were both carved deeply in her heart, but only one of them she loved. At least loved in a way she didn’t want to live without. How unfair she’d been to use her condition as an excuse to deny a love that was once in a lifetime. Well, in their case, twice in a lifetime and she sure as hell wasn’t going to push her luck with a third.

  Sliding the car to a stop between two white lines, she killed the ignition and threw the keys in her purse, making sure to hit the lock button before she dashed inside. She didn’t slow down until forced to wait on the elevator. After hitting the up button twice, she turned around, ready to take the steps to the third floor. A ding and parting of the doors had her turning back around. Stepping on, she was thankful it was empty as she tried to rein in her breaths.

  Every door she passed, she looked at the number, knowing full well Room 325 was still several doors down the brightly lit hallway. Pausing before coming to the end, she combed a hand through her tangled hair, embarrassed for the way she looked, and heard several voices bellowing from inside the door on the right. Confirming it was the right room, she stepped in.

  Her eyes immediately surveyed the man lying in the bed. Making sure all limbs were intact, her gaze traveled down the patterned gown, catching on the large blue air cast swaddled around his right foot, then back up to the gauze taped to his forehead.

  “Hey,” she said when Tyler saw her standing there.

  “Hey,” he answered back with a beaming
smile.

  There were two other men in the room. A man wearing a baseball cap and jeans sat in the corner, while one dressed in a suit stood at the head of the bed. She gave them each a nod hello before taking a spot next to Tyler.

  “Sera, this is my manager, Bradley.” Tyler pointed to the man standing on the opposite side of her. “And that’s Jayson, my drummer, over there in the corner.”

  Both men said their own hellos. She smiled back appropriately, suddenly feeling like an outsider.

  “I didn’t think he’d pull something like this just to get out of the tour,” his manager said, interrupting the awkward moment.

  Tyler grinned. Sera didn’t return the sentiment. Her eyes grew wide with suspicion. Surely Bradley was joking. Tyler wouldn’t have gone to these lengths just so he could cancel the tour. Before she could ask though, Jayson stood, saying he was headed out, with Bradley following behind.

  When the two men were gone, she sat down on the edge of the bed, clasping her hand around Tyler’s. “Please tell me he was joking.”

  He chuckled. “Yes, sweetheart, he was joking.”

  “Then what are you doing back in Kentucky?”

  Slow to answer, he said, “Coming back for you.”

  “Even though I told you I wasn’t ready?”

  “You wouldn’t take my calls or return my texts. What was I supposed to do?”

  “You were supposed to get on that tour bus in the morning and live your dreams.”

  “I was. But I’m fighting for you this time. I wanted us to live our dreams together.”

  Feeling the tug of emotion already, she wrapped both hands around his. Her eyelids tighten despite her attempt to stay calm. A tear spilled over, and she wiped her face against the sleeve of her shoulder. “I’m not going to win here, am I?”

  “Probably not,” he answered back, a glimmer of hope seeping out of his eyes.

  Standing, she dried her face and climbed up in the bed. Hospital rules or not, she wanted him to hold her. Resting her head on his shoulder, he wrapped his arms around her.

  “And exactly what was your plan when you got here?” she asked into his chest.

  “I had twelve hours before the bus left. It’s a five-hour drive each way, therefore I had roughly an hour or so to convince you to come with me. Other than that, I didn’t have a plan.”

  “Cutting it close there, cowboy.” She laughed.

  “I don’t want to do this without you, Sera. It has nothing to do with you needing me. I’m the one who needs you. We can make this work.”

  “I know,” she replied. “I listened to the interview this morning. You’re not happy and neither am I—I’m miserable. And I do need you. We need each other.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “So you’ll come?”

  She nodded. “Will they postpone the tour?”

  “For a few weeks, until I can get around without crutches.”

  “I have to get Roy’s car back home, though.”

  “Why didn’t y’all bring Maggie’s car?”

  “Maggie’s not with me.”

  “Who brought you, then?”

  She swallowed back more tears. “I drove.” She bit down on the inside of her bottom lip as her eyes flooded. Not out of sadness, but with relief and pride of how far she’d come.

  He hugged her tighter. “Baby, I’m proud of you.”

  Needing some space to catch her breath, she sat up, corralling the river on her face with her wrist. “It’s crazy what you’ll do when you really want something.”

  Rubbing a hand over her thigh, he winked. “Kind of like throwing your career away for someone you love?”

  “Yeah, something like that,” she answered, smiling back. “By the way, how’s the truck?”

  He rolled his eyes. “The truck isn’t totaled, but it’s going to be a while before she’s back into shape.”

  “Maybe you just need to get a more sensible truck.”

  “Hey, I like my truck.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to like driving it, though.” She wrinkled her nose.

  “You’ll just have to get your own sensible mode of transportation, then.”

  “What about a bicycle?”

  “Honey, I don’t think a bicycle is going to be all that sensible for your trips back home to visit Roy.”

  Laughing, she said, “Probably not.”

  “That reminds me.” Tyler eased up in the bed. “Open that drawer.” He pointed to the table beside his bed. “Jayson had to rescue it out of the truck for me, but there’s something in there for you.”

  Opening the drawer, she was a little nervous about what she might find, then recognized the small, square cardboard box and her own handwriting addressing it to Tyler. A lump lodged in her throat as she picked it up. “You kept it.” She swallowed, the flow of tears starting again.

  “Of course I kept it.”

  Taking out the smaller velvet box, she opened the lid and looked down with eyes wide at the tiny engagement ring Tyler had bought for her when he was only nineteen.

  “I lied, Sera. I did have a box of regrets. This was it. The day I got this back in the mail was the day I knew I’d regret losing you for the rest of my life.”

  She could barely see through the moisture as Tyler slid the ring back in place where it belonged and would never leave again.

  “I have every intention of getting you something bigger, but I hope this one will do for now.” Looking nervous, he asked, “Marry me, Sera. I’m asking again … will you marry me?”

  “Tyler.” She kissed his lips. “I don’t need a bigger ring. All I need is you.”

  EPILOGUE

  Sera quit fiddling with her hands as soon as the car came to a stop. Even with the bit of excitement that came with what the day might bring, she couldn’t make herself look up and instead stared down at her lap. Her nerves did somersaults inside her belly, making her rethink the sausage and biscuit she’d eaten early that morning. She’d passed on lunch when they stopped an hour ago. Eating wasn’t an option until she got this over with.

  Unaware of the breath stuck at the back of her throat, she let it go when she felt a hand cover the top of her thigh.

  “Hey,” Tyler whispered. “You all right?”

  Blowing out a puff of air, she took in another deep gulp and finally looked up to see his handsome face marked with a crinkle of worry across his brows. She was happy that he was driving again now that the cast was permanently gone. Although with the schedule they’d kept, there hadn’t been time for anything fun while out on the road. Like he’d said, the days were exhausting, yet satisfying too. He loved what he did and she loved being there sharing the experience with him. Being together at least cured the loneliness. Besides, she knew it wouldn’t always be like this. Tyler had promised to slow down. They planned to take time off this spring so that she could finally get settled into their Nashville home.

  “I’m nervous,” she said, clasping her hands together.

  Tyler reached up, smoothing back her hair behind her ear. “He sounded good on the phone.”

  Eyes falling back to her lap. “You should have told me what you were up to.”

  Tilting her head up to look up at him, Tyler answered. “You’re right. I have should have and I’m sorry.”

  Blinking back the tears trying to form, she knew her apprehension was misplaced. She wasn’t upset with Tyler. The fact that he’d gone to the trouble of tracking down Rollins and even set aside time so they could meet up with him only proved further how much he really loved her. Her worry came from not knowing what she was about to see. Rollins had told Tyler his life was going well, but that could have been a ruse. She hadn’t known about this meeting until last night after Tyler’s show in Charleston when he told her they weren’t moving on with the rest of the gang. She hadn’t even thought about how close they were to Welch, West Virginia, when they crossed the state line a day ago. Tyler had, though, and he’d been planning this for weeks.

  “I�
�m just afraid he’s going to be just like I remember,” she uttered.

  “But what if he’s not?”

  Rolling her eyes, she grinned. “You always look at things so positively.”

  “Someone’s got to,” he teased.

  Entwining their fingers together, she looked him in the eye. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being the husband I always knew you would be.”

  They’d flown to Florida four days after Tyler was released from the hospital and were married on the beach with no one but Roy and Diana present. Now, two months later, she hadn’t regretted the decision for a moment. Leaning over, she kissed him on the cheek. Trying to ease her own tension, she said, “Not many men would hunt down a guy their wife slept with to set up a meeting between the two.”

  “Darlin’, I’m not most men.” No, he wasn’t. “Besides, I told you that doesn’t matter. The only thing that’s important to me is that you’re all right. And you’re not. You still feel guilty about him.”

  “I can’t help but feel that way. I feel like I let him down. We were friends and I turned my back on him.”

  “Be his friend now. I’m pretty sure that’s him sitting right over there.”