by Melody Anne
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize how long I’d been sitting out here,” Jessica quickly said. She immediately got up and headed towards Julia and her son.
“You deserve some time to yourself. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying a few moments of peace in an otherwise hectic day,” Julia chastised her gently. “Your son can wait long enough for you to clean up,” she added.
Jessica looked down at her hands and noticed they were covered with dirt. She looked up and smiled sheepishly. “I guess I should wash my hands before taking him,” she replied. She bent down and kissed Jacob’s soft head before they headed inside.
Jessica cleaned up and took Jacob. It was really nice to have Julia’s help but holding her son was the most relaxing thing in the world to her.
“Tell me about your last family,” Jessica asked once her son was settled down and eating.
“They’re a wonderful family. I worked for them for twenty years. I was there for the births of the youngest two children and their oldest child Justin was only a year old. Their mom was a lot like you. She wanted to do everything on her own but found having some help gave her the extra energy to be a great mother,” Julia replied.
“It’s really nice to have someone around. I’ve always thought doing things on my own was the only way to do something but my mother’s told me many times it’s okay to ask for help,” Jessica said.
“I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. I wasn’t blessed to have a family of my own. I do appreciate you sharing the joy of being there for Jacob with me,” she said with sincerity.
Jessica knew they were going to have a great relationship. “We’re really glad you’ve come into our lives,” she said.
They both chatted while Jacob ate, then Jessica excused herself and took him to bed. She was comfortable enough in her home to take another nap, knowing everything would be okay. She felt at peace in her home.
The next couple of months flew by in a blur. With Julia there to help Jessica she was able to focus on her writing and felt like she was accomplishing something. She still spent most of her time home but when she ran errands or worked on her book she didn’t feel like Jacob was being neglected.
Her nights were regularly filled with passion. She and Alex didn’t spend much time together during the days, with him gone for work. But when they climbed into bed together it was like they were there for the first time, every time. It was magical and she knew if it were to end suddenly her world would be destroyed. She was too dependent on Alex’s attention.
Jessica started to become restless around the big house. There didn’t seem to be a lot for her to do. When she received a call from an old college friend, informing her about a part-time job at the local newspaper for a writer she jumped at the chance. She’d already been weaning Jacob and it would be great to get out of the house.
She was so afraid of losing her sense of self and she could work part-time without guilt. Her child was in more than capable hands and the staff ran the house. It would be good for her to do something simply about her.
“Now Jessica, I want to remind you this isn’t exciting news. It will be covering city meetings and school events but it’s still an important part of the paper.” Jessica was in Marcia’s office, her editor, discussing her new job details.
“I understand Marcia. I’m not out to change the world. It’ll be nice to be writing and get out of the house,” Jessica reassured her new boss.
“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page. Your first assignment is at the city hall. They have a meeting this afternoon at two. Do a short article on the topics of discussion and of any issues that arise.”
“I’ll be there. Thank you for this opportunity Marcia. I really appreciate it.”
“I have to admit I was a little surprised you wanted to work a job like this. You have a very impressive resume and could work for any major publication you wanted,” Marcia stated.
“I’m a full time mother now and the kind of careers I’m qualified for require sixty plus hours a week. I’m not willing to be away from my son too much. I plan on eventually writing novels but would like to stay out in the workforce as well.” Many people assumed just because Jessica had access to money beyond what most people ever dreamed of having she’d be a spoiled heiress. It never took her long to prove herself though and she knew she would gain the respect of her co-workers at the paper.
“Well, we’re happy to have you join our team. The article is due by noon tomorrow. I’ll see you then.” Marcia went back to work and Jessica headed outside to her car. She had about an hour to kill before the city hall meeting so she headed to the mall for a smoothie and some light shopping.
The meeting was a bore, as she knew it would be. It was difficult but she managed to place a good spin on the article and her editor was more than happy with her work. She found it amusing she was taking so much pride in her small job but she felt useful and good about herself. It was the first time in a while she felt needed.
She drove home, still feeling great. When she stepped through the doors, she could smell the wonderful aroma of dinner cooking and hear Jacob giggling somewhere. She followed the sound.
She stepped into the den and found Alex on his back, with Jacob balancing on his knees like he was flying through the air. He let out another giggle. Jacob spotted his mom and started wiggling to be let down.
Alex looked up to see what caught his son’s attention, then gave Jessica one of his killer smiles. Setting Jacob on the floor, the baby crawled as fast as his chubby legs would allow to his mother.
Jessica scooped him up in her arms. “How’s my handsome young man?” she spoke to her son, as she nuzzled his neck, causing more giggles.
“He’s doing great. How was your first day at work?” Alex seemed genuinely interested, which surprised Jessica.
“It was actually great. I know it’s not a big time paper and my name isn’t going to go up in lights or anything but I like the people down there and it’s nice to be working again,” Jessica said, almost defensively.
“Hey, I’m not judging you,” Alex said, while holding his hands out. “Seriously, I really want to know how your day went and what you did,” he finished.
Jessica eyed him suspiciously for a few moments and then decided to tell him about her article and the people she’d met.
“I need to go in tomorrow for a couple of hours and then I thought I would go to the salon. I haven’t had my hair or nails done since before Jacob was born and it would feel heavenly,” she said with a little guilt for leaving her son while she pampered herself.
“You deserve to take some time for yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Jacob is fine. He knows you love him and he won’t be scarred for life because his mother got her nails done. Stop being so hard on yourself,” he stated, as if he could read her mind.
“I know you’re right but I promised myself I wouldn’t be one of those mothers who left her child in someone else’s care while she ran all over the place. It feels wrong, especially with him still being a baby.” She headed over to the bar and poured herself a half glass of wine.
Jacob was happily playing with some of his toys on the floor. Jessica and Alex sat on the couch and watched him amuse himself.
“You’re a great mother. If you take care of your own need as well as his, you’ll always be a great mother. Women who sacrifice everything for their husbands or children end up resentful. You don’t want that to happen do you?”
Jessica looked at Alex, slightly puzzled. This was one of the most real conversations they’d ever had. It was nice to come home and voice her concerns with the man she loved. Her world stopped as she realized she really did love Alex. She’d tried to avoid it but she loved her time with him. She loved how he was with their son and she loved what he stood for.
She was so afraid her face would somehow show her newfound feelings so she stood up, under the pretense of checking a toy Jacob was playing with. She composed her features, then turned back t
owards Alex.
“Thanks Alex. I needed to hear that. I’ll take a little me time and not feel guilty about it. I’m going to wash up and change for dinner.” She didn’t give him time to answer her. She quickly slipped from the room and headed to her shower, where she could wash her worries away.
By the time Jessica came back downstairs, dinner was ready and Jacob was seated in his high chair. He was happily stuffing creamed food into his own mouth. More food was on him than in him but he enjoyed himself so it was okay.
“I hope you had a great first day at work,” Julia said.
“It was very nice. How did the day go with Jacob?”
“He was his usual happy self. He took only a short nap this afternoon though, so I think he’ll be ready for bed early tonight. He’s almost finished with his supper so I’ll take him up for a bath while you eat.” Jessica was happy they’d found Julia. She knew Julia loved Jacob as much as Alex and she did. She was certainly an invaluable member of their family now.
“Thank you Julia. I know I don’t say it enough but I’m grateful you’re a part of our family. I could’ve never spent the afternoon away from my son if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure he was in capable hands.” Jessica got up and gave Julia a hug.
“The honor’s all mine. You have a beautiful family and I’m very happy to be a part of it,” Julia said before heading off to bathe Jacob.
Alex and Jessica finished their supper in an almost uncomfortable silence. When they were talking about Jacob or making love they were in perfect harmony. In any other situation the silence was awkward.
“I’ll be going to my brother’s ranch tomorrow,” Alex finally broke the silence.
“That’s good. You haven’t taken a day off in a while,” Jessica replied.
“He has a roundup that needs done and then we’re all going to meet for a barbeque afterwards,” he continued.
Jessica was nervous. She hadn’t been around his family since the wedding. Joseph and Katherine came over regularly to play with Jacob and Alex had taken the baby over to his siblings a couple of times but there hadn’t been any family gatherings. She was nervous to face them all as a group.
It was especially nerve wracking to be around Lucas and Amy. They were so obviously in love with each other and she herself felt like such a fraud. Jessica knew each day she spent with Alex she fell a little bit more in love but she also knew he didn’t return the feelings. If they didn’t have Jacob together they wouldn’t have a marriage at all.
“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to attend tomorrow but if you want to have your parents stop by and grab Jacob that would be okay,” she tried to say nonchalantly.
Alex stared at her for a few moments before responding. “Look Jessica, I understand my family can be overwhelming and you’re still trying to get used to everything but they would be hurt if you didn’t come. Your parents will even be there. Can you please just forget about everything else going on for one day and come enjoy yourself?” he asked, while never breaking eye contact.
Jessica knew once again she’d been defeated. Her parents would drag her there anyway if they saw she didn’t show up. She could try and fake an illness but her mother knew her more than anyone. She would take one look at her and it would be over.
“I just had to work on an article I was writing but I’ll do it the next day,” she finally conceded, hoping he bought her story. She didn’t want him to know she was really just a coward.
Alex continued to look at her for a while before he nodded. She knew he didn’t buy her story but thankfully he was man enough to not call her on her lies.
“I’m going to head up to bed and read for a while,” Jessica finally said, having lost all of her appetite.
“I have some work to finish up. I’ll join you in a while,” Alex replied before getting up and heading out of the room.
Jessica wanted to talk to him about her feelings and try and make the marriage about more than just their son and sex but she didn’t know how to bridge the gap. She was afraid if she brought anything real up, he would run from her.
Chapter Six
“Surprised you could climb out of the newlywed bed long enough to join us,” Mark took a shot at his brother, while punching his arm. “Heck we didn’t see Lucas for at least six months,” he continued.
“You’re lucky you’re seeing me now. Amy’s about to have the baby,” Lucas said, while looking down at his phone for the hundredth time.
“Trust me; your ringer is working just fine. If anything happens you will be the first one who knows about it,” Mark laughed.
“I know. I know. I worry so much about her being so pregnant. I know she’s with mom and dad but man, it’s hard to be away from her right now,” he smiled sheepishly.
“Thank the lord I’m still single. You two are just a little too gushy for my tastes,” Mark sighed before jumping the fence.
Lucas and Alex were right behind him. “You’ll be next you know. We both thought we would hold out and look at us. Not only are we married but fathers as well. Your day is coming,” Alex grinned at his younger brother.
“No way man, I’m a confirmed bachelor and that’s how I would like to keep it. I have my hands full with all of these animals. I don’t have any time for women or babies in my life,” he added.
Lucas and Alex just looked at each other and smiled. They knew their younger brother would fall and it would be their pleasure to watch it happen. “I thought you said there was some work to be done,” Alex goaded him.
“You’ll be begging me to stop by the end of the day. I bet you fall over and embarrass yourself in front of your bride,” he said with a hopeful wink.
“Bring it on little brother,” Alex replied, accepting the challenge.
If an outsider was looking at the trio of men they’d think they belonged on a ranch. No one would be able to tell Lucas and Alex both worked in offices and flew around the world on Jets. Mark, of course was a full time rancher but it was by choice. He’d decided early on in his life office work wasn’t what he wanted to do.
Their father, Joseph loved his boys intensely and supported their decisions. When Mark decided to ranch he supported him one hundred percent.
Lucas, Alex and Mark looked dashing in their worn Stetson hats and boots and painted on jeans. They rode the horses around like rodeo champions and literally stopped women in their tracks when they went by.
The brothers spent the afternoon bringing the cattle in and branding them. Mid afternoon they stopped by the lake for some lunch and basked in the summer heat.
“Any time you boys are ready to trade in your suits and run the ranch with me, you know you’re welcome,” Mark said with a cheeky grin.
“You know I love the land and helping you out here is a little slice of heaven but it wouldn’t take long before the appeal of travel and a nice clean suit would be calling my name,” Alex said.
“You know dad would lasso you up for trying to take me away from the office. He’s retired and doesn’t want to go back,” Lucas added.
“I’m just saying…” Mark left the sentence unfinished.
Lucas and Alex both sighed in unison.
“Ok last one in has to do the grilling,” Mark said while stripping down to his boxers in record time and diving into the lake.
“Ah crap,” Alex yelled while trying to yank his boots off. He glanced over and saw Lucas had the lead. Lucas dived in about two seconds before he did.
“I think you guys cheated again,” Alex laughed. “You know you just want me grilling because I’m the best one at it. You guys always burn that beautiful Angus Meat,” he added.
“Hey, when you’re right, you’re right,” Mark said before sending a slew of water right into Alex’s face.
“Now the war’s on,” Alex stated before a massive water fight erupted. When the brothers all got together, it was like they were teenagers once again. They had a bond stronger than most siblings and all three of them would take a bullet for one anothe
r. They knew they were so close due to being raised by phenomenal parents.
“Ok, ok, I call a truce,” Lucas finally said, while dragging himself out of the water. Mark and Alex followed. The three of them settled down on the soft grass and enjoyed the sounds of nature all around them.
“So how are things with your wife and amazing son going?” Lucas asked Alex.
“Things are great. Jacob is growing like a weed. I can’t believe how important he is to me. I can even imagine having about ten more of him running around,” Alex said with true fondness for his son.
“And what about Jessica?” Mark asked.
Alex hesitated for a moment. He didn’t really know how to describe his relationship with his wife. He knew if he told his brothers it was none of their business they’d back off and leave him alone but it would feel good to talk about his conflicted emotions.
“Honestly, it’s really complicated. We married because basically I didn’t give her any choice. She had my son, which she kept from me,” he said with an edge to his voice. He was still unhappy she hadn’t told him about the pregnancy. “Somewhere along the line though, in the last few months I’ve found I’m excited to see her. I look forward to coming home, knowing she’ll be there.” He didn’t add anything else. He didn’t want to even mention the Love word.
Neither brother spoke for a few moments. They seemed to understand he was trying to figure things out in his own head.
“You know things didn’t start out so well for Amy and me either, little brother,” Lucas finally said. “I fought hard against my attraction to her. I, in no way wanted to be in a relationship. On the other hand I’d never wanted a woman like I wanted her. She would walk into the room and I was on instant alert. I tried to tell myself it was just some weird hormonal imbalance but even though I was fighting it I knew it was a losing battle,” he finished.
“Everyone can see you and Amy were meant to be together. Things may have started out rocky for you but you’re disgustingly in love now. There isn’t a woman out there who could love you like she does. It’s the only reason she puts up with your ugly hide,” Alex finished and punched Lucas in the arm.