by Melody Anne
Alex threw his jacket down on the ground and lowered her gently to the grass covered mound in the middle of a deserted trail. The silver moon cast a soft glow, providing only enough light to barely see him, leaving everything around him in shadows. He stripped her dress off in one movement, leaving her exposed and vulnerable.
He was awed by the sight she made, wearing only a piece of black lace barely hiding her from him, the garter and red heals. She was bathed in the moonlight, giving her a surreal look. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep inside of her but he wasn’t a selfish lover and he would make sure of her pleasure before his own.
He quickly stripped away his clothes and then brought their bodies back into intimate contact. He took her lips in his again, making her cry out her pleasure, as his hands explored every inch of her skin. His lips caressed her neck and the tops of her breasts.
She could barely breathe, the pressure was so great. She wanted to cry out her love for him but held back, barely. When his lips finally took her hardened peak into his mouth and he sucked her aching nipple, her whole back arched off the ground. When he gently nipped the sensitized skin she almost came undone.
“Please,” she begged. She didn’t know whether she was begging him to continue on or to join them.
He kissed his way down her smooth stomach, making it tighten even more. His tongue dipped into her belly button and she moaned at the intense sensations he was bringing her. He finally moved to kiss and caress her thighs, making them open to his administering. When his mouth finally touched her burning heat, she thought she would explode.
Her body wouldn’t stay still. He deepened the intimate kiss and she could feel her body begging for release. When he dipped his fingers inside her, she couldn’t hold back any longer. She cried out and finally let go, waves of pleasure washing over her.
He slowly kissed his way back up her body, starting to stir her heat once again. She didn’t understand how he could make her want him so much. He’d just pleasured her beyond what any one person should ever receive and she greedily wanted more.
He brought his lips back to hers and the taste of their passion on his tongue fully brought the fire back to her body. “Please,” she begged again. She wanted him deep inside of her.
“Please what?” he asked, knowing the answer.
“Please love me,” she gasped. She silently added to love her both emotionally and physically.
He said nothing more, just slipped inside her heat in one sure thrust. He threw back his head and moaned out loud. He didn’t move, as if he was trying to calm himself. She jerked her hips up, needing him to move inside of her.
That little movement was all it took. He grabbed her backside and thrust hard in and out of her. His lips latched back onto hers and he loved her with a passion that should have set the grass around them on fire.
She felt the heat building up inside her again, even stronger than before and suddenly her body jerked with a pleasure so intense, it bordered on pain. Her tightening heat around him sent him over the edge and with a final thrust deep inside her, he let go and cried out in his own pleasure.
His body was covered in a fine sheen of sweat, glistening in the moonlight. He collapsed on top of her but quickly shifted them both, bringing her on top. They were still connected together, which felt right.
He was rubbing her naked back and she was so content, her guard was down and she finally whispered the words she’d wanted to say for so long, “I love you, Alex.”
She felt him stiffen, which told her more than words ever could have. He didn’t want her love. He wanted the passion and he even wanted companionship but he didn’t want love.
She was close to tears as he pulled their bodies apart and started to get dressed. “We better get out of here before some unsuspecting tourist happens to walk by,” he said in an almost cold tone.
Jessica’s heart was breaking into a million pieces. What had started as the perfect day was ending with devastation. The hurt was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. She loved him so much. Why couldn’t he feel the same way about her? She thought she felt love when he held her in his arms. It seemed like he loved her but maybe to him sex and love were two completely different things.
She quickly dressed herself and then walked slowly back to the hotel with Alex. It was like walking with a stranger, he was so distant. “I know I told you I wouldn’t be working much but something came up and I will be busy all day tomorrow,” he said as they entered the suite.
“I understand,” Jessica replied.
“I need to finish some work tonight,” he said as he headed to the office. She didn’t even reply. She just headed off to take a shower and then to bed, where she could cry herself to sleep.
The next two days and nights of her honeymoon were miserable. Alex was gone all day, returning too late for them to go out. She spent her time on the beach and shopping all alone. They did make love in the evenings but it was different. She could feel he was holding something back and when they were done, he turned away from her, seeming to fall asleep quickly.
Jessica was relieved on the third day when he said everything was finished up and they could head back home. She didn’t know what to expect when they got back. She was sure things would go back to her barely seeing him and her love for him aching to be set free. She had to make a decision of what to do, sooner rather than later.
“I was a compete ass,” Alex said to his older brother Lucas. “I knew she was falling in love with me but selfishly I wanted her to keep it to herself and not bring it out in the open. I don’t have the time or energy for that kind of relationship but I’ve really shut her out and don’t know how to make things go back to the way they were,” he finished.
“What’s so wrong with your wife loving you and you her?” Lucas asked, sounding stunned.
“There’s nothing wrong with it when you have a relationship like you and Amy. Jessica and I have an understanding. We have Jacob to think about and if we get all these emotions mixed up then we’re jeopardizing the whole thing.”
He knew even as he said it, how wrong it sounded. They had a child together, so how could love mess that up? Well, besides his parents and now Lucas and Amy, Alex hadn’t seen a lot of good marriages. They all ended in divorce with bitter custody battles. Alex figured if he kept love out of the equation, he’d never have to worry about divorce. The thought of Jessica and Jacob not being there with him every day tore his heart to pieces.
“I think you’re in a whole hell of a lot of denial, little brother. You have an amazing wife, who obviously loves you and you know what? I think it’s pretty obvious you love her too. Why not quit fighting it and just enjoy being with your family,” Lucas stated.
“Yeah, whatever. I have to get going. I’ll be gone all week and I’m sure everything will be normal when I return home,” he said, praying it was true.
“Good luck,” Lucas said before Alex departed.
“How are you doing? You look like you don’t feel too well,” Amy said. She and Jessica met for a girl’s day out. They were sitting at the salon having their nails done when Amy questioned her.
“I have a nasty flu that’s been going around but I’ll be fine,” she replied, hoping to feel better sooner rather than later.
“If you need to rest up we can reschedule our day out,” Amy offered.
“No, I’ve been looking forward to this all week. Alex has been gone for a few days and even before he left I’ve hardly saw him. I need some good old fashioned girl talk. How is everything going with you?” she asked. She was desperately trying to push away the queasiness.
“I’m doing so much better. Can you believe Isaiah is already two weeks old? He’s such a great baby too. He actually lets me get four hours of sleep in a row. I’m really glad I hired the nanny, too. It’s been such a great help having her around. Jasmine absolutely adores her and I’ve been able to get plenty of naps in. Plus I feel safe stepping out for the afternoon with you
,” she said with enthusiasm.
“I know how quickly time flies. I can’t believe Jacob is almost a year old. I want to go back to the beginning, though the full nights rest part is pretty nice,” she added.
“I think I would be happy having about ten more kids. Don’t look at me so horrified. I love being a mother and Lucas is about the best husband in the world. Plus, I think Joseph would think he’d died and gone to heaven having that many grandkids surrounding him. I really love this family so much,” she gushed.
Jessica sat for a few moments without saying anything. She wanted more kids so badly but if things didn’t change with her husband she didn’t see that happening. He was content just having Jacob. She wondered what he would say if she told him she wanted to have another baby. She didn’t really want to think about his reaction. He most likely would shut her out more.
“I’ve always wanted to have a large family. I love my parents beyond anything but it was lonely growing up as an only child. I’ve never wanted that for Jacob,” Jessica finally responded.
“Are you guys planning on another little one anytime soon?” she asked with a wink. “The trying part is so much fun,” she added with a giggle.
“We haven’t talked about it,” was all Jessica said. She was having a really hard time fighting off the tears. She wasn’t normally so emotional but she figured being so lonely lately was most likely contributing to that.
“Alex adores Jacob so much. I’m sure he’d like to have a few more running around. Talk to him about it. You know grandpa is going to be expecting another one soon,” Amy said.
“Joseph is about the greatest man there is. I can’t believe how lucky Jacob is to have such an amazing grandfather. Plus Katherine is a dream grandmother. I love the quilt she made for Jacob. She comes over and visits all the time. I really regret them not getting those first three months with their grandson,” Jessica said with some sadness.
“They completely understand though. You were unsure about the relationship and thought you were doing the right thing. What matters most is you’re all together now. I know things can be really tough sometimes but hang in there,” Amy said.
Jessica didn’t want to talk about the tension between her and Alex, so she decided it was a great time to change the subject. “I’ve been dying to try the new Thai place a few blocks away. Do you want to go there for lunch?” she asked.
Amy took the hint and they discussed lunch and the kids and just about everything else except husbands. Jessica felt herself relaxing and really enjoyed the rest of the day. She really did have an amazing sister-in-law. By the time they got back to the house, she was more relaxed than she’d been before her impromptu honeymoon.
She would have to wait and see how things would work out. She couldn’t leave Alex. She loved him too much and he was an amazing father, so maybe she would simply have to hold her heartache in and live with things the way they were. That thought wasn’t very appealing but what else could she do?
Chapter Eight
The months slowly passed since the honeymoon. Alex was finally staying home much more often and they were back to making love almost nightly and to an outsider everything would look normal. Everything would look like they were a perfect family.
Jessica hadn’t repeated her vows of love to her husband and he’d started to relax. She didn’t want to break the truce they’d established.
Jacob was turning a year old that afternoon and they had a huge party planned, with both of their families there. She loved when the family got together, more than anything. She couldn’t believe there was ever a time she’d feared them.
Jessica stole Isaiah away every chance she could get but when Joseph was around it was more difficult. He would hold all three of his grandkids on his knees and was like a papa bear when someone tried to take one of them away.
The kids adored their grandfather just as much. The second he would walk in the door Jasmine and Jacob would run to him with their arms out and the baby would coo at him. Joseph was in baby heaven.
Jessica finished getting ready for the party, knowing Julia was dressing Jacob at the same time. There was a sweet bond between the Julia and Jacob.
“Mama, someone is looking for you,” Alex’s voice came around the corner about a second before he stepped through the doorway.
Jessica gulped in her handsome husband and son. “Mama, hold,” Jacob demanded of her, as he reached out to her from his father’s arms.
“Of course, my sweet boy. I can’t believe you’re a year old today. Is it your birthday?” she asked him before tickling his belly.
“My day,” he said in his sweet baby voice.
“Yes it is and you have grandpa and grandma and your aunts and uncles coming to see you,” she said.
“Gampa, yeah,” he said and started looking around.
“He’s not here yet,” she said with a smile. She loved how bonded her son was with both his grandfathers.
“I wan gampa,” he demanded with a little scowl between his brows, reminding her so much of her husband.
“I like how he knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to demand it,” Alex stated proudly. “Come on Jacob, I think I hear grandpa in the hall,” he said as Jacob eagerly leapt back into his father’s arms.
Alex laughed and bent down kissing her quickly before leaving the room. She slowly followed her two favorite men.
“About time you brought my grandson down here. I have been waiting about five minutes now,” came Joseph’s booming voice.
Alex chuckled, as Jacob practically flew into his grandpa’s arms.
Jacob patted Joseph’s face to get his attention, “my day gampa,” he said with a cheeky smile.
“Yes it is your birthday Jacob. Let’s go sneak into some candy,” he whispered, although everyone in the room could hear him.
“Dad, don’t give him a bunch of junk food or he’ll get cranky,” Alex said, although he knew his words were falling on deaf ears. As he figured, Joseph acted like he hadn’t heard a word. Jessica had to laugh. When Joseph wanted to spoil his grandkids, there was nothing anyone could do to stop him.
“I forgot to tell you how beautiful you look today,” Alex said to her and then took her into his arms and kissed her softly. She immediately melted as he deepened the kiss. He was getting ready to take her back upstairs.
They’d been together for almost a year and she still had the ability to tighten his stomach. He wanted her every second of the day. She was beautiful and passionate.
Hell, he thought the party could wait on them. “You guys want to go upstairs for a while. I will cover for you,” said the laughing voice of Mark.
Jessica jumped out of Alex’s arms and could feel her face getting hot. She hated how easily she blushed. She couldn’t believe she’d been caught necking in the hallway like she was some undersexed teenager.
Alex glared at his brother. “You could’ve just gone out back with the rest of the family and not so rudely interrupted,” he said far too meanly in Jessica’s opinion. He did look even sexier when he was in a temper, which he clearly was.
“Oh quit being a stick in the mud, you have all night to continue kissing. Now be a good brother and get me a beer,” he said and practically dragged Alex from the room.
Jessica took a few moments to compose herself before heading in the direction of the party. She stared at the large group of family and friends on her back deck and smiled. Her son was so lucky to have so many people who adored him.
Whenever she began to think she couldn’t stay another day in the house with a man who didn’t love her, she would be at a family gathering and her resolve would deepen. She loved this group of people so much and the thought of not having them in her life was unbearable.
It wasn’t like Alex was cruel to her in any way. He was simply honest, saying he couldn’t love her. He wanted her which was obvious. Their passion burned greatly. She was coming to believe he just didn’t want to be in love with anyone and it wasn’t perso
nal.
Jessica snapped back to reality and looked around the crowded yard once again. Her smile was genuine as she spotted her beautiful child and her niece and nephew.
Jasmine and Jacob were in the swings, with grandpa pushing them both. “Higher gampa,” Jasmine yelled and then squealed with delight when grandpa accommodated her.
“How are you doing dear?” Katherine asked, as she walked up to Jessica.
“I’m great, thanks Mom,” she replied. Katherine was such a quiet person, sometimes she got engulfed from her huge force of a husband. All the kids knew grandma was the real source of magic in the family though.
She had an amazing heart and more love to give than any other person Jessica knew. Jessica was glad her family meshed so well with the Anderson family. They’d all become one instead of two.
“I can’t believe Jacob is a year old already. The time simply goes by far too quickly, in my opinion,” Katherine said with some sadness.
“I agree, it seems like just yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital. He will be off to college before I have a chance to blink,” she said with some panic.
“It doesn’t happen quite that quickly but it sure seems like it. I’m grateful my boys decided to live close to home. When Mark graduated and moved out a piece of my heart broke. Letting go of any of your children is hard but the youngest one is the final piece and it feels like a piece of you leaves with them. I’m also grateful they’re finally marrying and giving me grandkids. It helps ease the heartache a little,” she added.
Jessica looked guiltily down at her feet for a moment. She knew her father and Alex’s parents were hoping to have many more grandkids but Jessica was so afraid to even bring it up with Alex. She was afraid he would say no and she would have to finally accept they couldn’t stay together.
“Three grandkids in just under three years is pretty good,” Jessica said instead.
“Yes, they really are a blessing. Joseph has been mumbling now about Mark settling down. I’ve told him time and again to leave the boy alone. He’ll have kids when he’s ready for it but you know Joseph, he’s stubborn. He thinks he fools me but I’ve been married to the man for far too many years for him to get away with much,” she said with a wink.