by Gemma Hart
I swam hard, my neck pulling against the icy waters. I was halfway to the trunks. I focused on my destination. I could feel the waters pushing me off course but I resolutely swam towards my target. “Sofia!” I yelled. But my voice was drowned out by the roaring rapids. I swam, breathing hard, my chest tightening with each stroke, determined to get to her.
Finally I reached the trunks. I gripped a long sturdy looking branch to anchor myself. I caught my breath, winded from the swim against the powerful currents.
After taking a deep breath, I ducked under the first trunk. I popped up inside the cross of the trunks.
“Sofia!” I called out. I gripped another branch to prevent being swept away. “Sofia!” In the tiny space, I saw nothing except broken branches and embedded river rocks.
“Sofia!” I jerked forward and gripped the next trunk. The water was rushing so fast under me, I had to kick to just keep myself upright above the water. “Sofia!”
I ducked under the second trunk and out facing the river downstream. “Sofia!”
And as I popped back up through the frigid waters, I saw it.
The strands of copper blonde hair floating in the water. My heart became icy and brittle at the sight of it. Gripping the side of the trunk, I worked my way towards the end of the tree.
Sofia was half tucked under the trunk and hidden behind a large bolder that was embedded in the bank. “Sofia!” The moment I was finally able to put an arm around her body, I felt air finally enter my lungs.
But the relief was short lived. Her face was ghostly pale, and turning blue around the neck and lips.
“Sofia,” I said, breathing against her as I pulled her towards me. “Baby, look at me! Open your eyes!”
I pulled her but felt immediate resistance. I felt down with my hands and realized that her shirt was caught on something below. She had clearly tried to hold on to the trunk as long as possible but had lost her energy. And if she hadn’t been caught by the branches below, she would’ve been carried away.
The realization froze me to the core.
I eventually gripped the back of her shirt and gave a massive yank, tearing the fabric free. Free from the branches, Sofia was nearly pushed against me by the current. I held her close, feeling her delicate bones under my hands. I wanted nothing more than to see those blue eyes looking up at me but all I saw that was blue were her frozen lips.
I had seen battlefields where IEDs had gone of mere feet from me. I had seen comrades die, bloodied and gutted. I had seen enemies slash at men and women with knives, no regards for their cries of pain.
And I had never, through all of it, been more afraid than I was at that moment, holding Sofia in the river.
Even though I held her in my arms, it was almost as if I could feel her slipping away, leaving me. My heart nearly twisted in fear and pain at the thought. Don’t you fucking dare, I mentally threatened. Don’t you dare leave me. Not yet. Not when I haven’t yet told you—
I was brought up short by the intensity and the truth of my feelings, all of which I had been slowly burying over the past few days. Recovering myself, I focused on the task at hand.
With careful maneuvering, I got us back through the trunks. I felt awful having to dunk her head under water as we ducked under the trees but there was no other choice. I gripped her tightly in my arms as I guided us through, unwilling to have even an inch between us. There was no way I was going to lose her.
As I got through the trunks, I saw the men on the other side waving their arms at us as they caught sight of our bodies. Immediately they began pulling on the rope. I felt their tug as I swam carefully with Sofia.
I had been trained to do water rescues but with such dangerous currents and Sofia’s unconscious condition, it was better to rely on the rope to help pull us in as much as my own strength.
“Sofia,” I said fiercely into her wet and matted hair. “Stay with me, sweetheart. I’m begging you, stay with me.”
We moved in painful slowness towards the bank. I wanted to get Sofia out of the water as quickly as possible but I knew the men were pulling as hard as they could against the strong rapids.
I shifted her in my arms so that her body was pressed to my side so that her head remained above water as much as possible.
Once we reached the bank, the men reached down and helped us out of the water. Blankets were immediately thrown over us. I grabbed one off my shoulders and wrapped it around Sofia, tucking her close to me. I rose to my feet in dragging steps, my body completely worn through. But I refused to stop. I forced myself to keep moving.
“Where?” I breathed out in exhaustion. “Where can I take her? We need—”
But clearly, everyone had planned ahead.
“Dave’s lumber shop!” Craig immediately answered. “Jeannie set up a space there with a heating lamp and blankets.”
Dan tried to pull Sofia out of my arms so he could carry her for me but I shook him off, holding her cold body close to mine.
I stumbled trying to find my feet but eventually I got my rhythm and hurried towards town and Dave’s shop.
I pressed my frozen lips to her head.
With each step, my heart seemed to beat, Sofia, Sofia, Sofia.
And I tried not to think about how easily I could feel and hear my heartbeat but not hers.
Chapter Eleven
Sofia
I shivered.
I shivered again. Little tingles of warmth crawled through my body, making me shiver from being both cold and warm. I groaned, my eyes still closed. My body felt stiff as a rock, each muscle aching so sharply, I felt I could literally count each muscle.
Suddenly, I felt a strong, iron band of warmth fall across my body. Something was wrapping around my arms and chest, heating me up almost instantly.
Slowly, I blinked my eyes open, my sight a bit blurry. I saw the shape of something rectangular in front of me. The cool clean smell of wood pierced my senses. As my vision cleared, I realized I was staring at slabs of lumber.
Where was I?
I last remembered diving into the icy depths of the river, swimming with all my might after the little girls. I remembered grabbing Monica first and pushing her out and then grabbing Heda and dragging her to safety. But as I pushed the little girl up, my energy and strength dropped within me like a stone falling into a well. I had no strength to grab onto the banks and to climb up.
I shifted a little then froze.
A thick wool blanket lay over me. But I could feel the thick wooliness over me. I could feel the material all over my body.
I looked down and realized I was completely naked.
I jerked and made a hoarse cry. The band of warmth that was wrapped around me turned out to be an arm and it was connected to Xander who immediately pulled me in closer.
“Awake?” I heard a deep voice murmur.
I tried to fight his pull once I realized I was naked but I was too weakened to put up much of a fight. As I let him pull me in, I realized he was wrapped up in his own wool blanket as well.
At least, he won’t actually feel me naked, I thought in relief.
I was sandwiched between wool blankets and I wanted every scrap.
“Wh…Where am I?” I asked, surprised at the huskiness of my hoarse voice.
I felt Xander shift behind me. Suddenly, I was lying on my back and he was leaning on one arm, hovering above me. I noticed quickly that he had no shirt on.
My eyes widened. I had a sneaking suspicion we were both naked with only a thin blanket between us.
I was about to explode in embarrassment when the shift in our locations hit me. How did I get here? How did he get here?
Xander ran a hand down my face, his large calloused palm warm and comforting. He carefully studied my face, clearing assessing me for concussions or some kind of lasting damage from the river.
After a minute, satisfied that I was whole, he suddenly gripped my chin in a gentle but firm hold and demanded, “What possessed you to go to that river?”
I could argue but I saw the fear etched into his eyes. The man had clearly been afraid for me. I could see the lines of worry and exhaustion in his face. And suddenly, I knew exactly how I had made it out of that river.
There was no other man who could’ve saved me.
Except Xander.
“The children wanted to try and float their boats,” I said weakly, knowing my defense was weak. The crafts class I had taken part in had made little boats made out of left over wood from Dave’s lumber shop. And seeing how excited they were with their new creations, I hadn’t had the heart to say no.
Xander sighed, lowering his head. “Someone should’ve been there to warn you about the flooded river,” he finally said.
I bit my lip, looking up at the rugged jawline and the stiff stubble that lined his face.
“You’re not mad?” I asked quietly.
Xander lifted his head. His caramel colored eyes looked nearly coal black in the dim back room of the lumber shop.
“Mad?” he echoed. “I’m about ready to punch down the walls here. You scared the ever living shit out of me and I was about to break your little neck if you died in that river.”
My lips twitched a little as my heart melted at his words. The passion and fierceness of his voice was evidence enough of his worry.
“Breaking my neck after I’m already dead wouldn’t really do much,” I said, giving him a wobbly smile.
Xander looked down at me before his own lips twitched. He ran a hand down my cheek again. “No,” he admitted. “But it might’ve made me feel a little better.”
I laughed and he soon joined in.
He told me how he had brought me here after rescuing me and had stripped me of my wet clothes. The most reliable way to warm somebody up was with skin to skin contact. So he had laid down next to me, wrapped me in a blanket to preserve my modesty, and had hugged me till my breathing had regulated and I had stopped shaking.
I could tell Xander had been scared by my near drowning and I couldn’t blame him. It had been scary. I had been terrified in that river. The rush of the rapids so fierce and strong, it instantly sapped my strength. I had always been a good swimmer but that meant nothing against currents that strong. It’s a marvel that Xander had been able to dive in after me and then carry me to shore.
But as I tried my best to grip the trunk of the tree, hoping for either rescue or a miraculous second wind, my last thoughts floated through my brain. And it wasn’t of Loranza or Pryto or even Uncle Gregory.
It had been of Xander.
Images of the man who seemed to exude love and protection filled every corner of my mind. And I welcomed it. If I was going to die, I didn’t want to die denying the one good thing that I had found in life.
Memories of him teasing me, cooking for me, comforting me, yelling at me, running after me, praising me filled my thoughts. I tried to recall his masculine scent and the strength of his arms. I remembered the breathless way he could pick me up and hold me, wrapping his protection around me so that I felt safe like a butterfly in a cocoon.
I remember closing my eyes against the exhaustion and thinking, if only we had met each other in a different time, in a different place.
But now, seeing him here, so real and so near, it was like a dream come true. And I realized that it didn’t matter that I didn’t meet him a better time and in a better place because being with him right now in this moment made everything before and everything to come perfect.
I wiggled one arm out of the blanket and gently touched his face. He closed his eyes at my touch, as if savoring it after thinking he’d never feel it again.
“I’m sorry I worried you,” I said softly.
Xander’s eyes opened and they burned me with the heat of his gaze.
This was the only man who had been able to see me for something more than just an opportunity. I wasn’t just a title and a face to him. I wasn’t just money and recognition. Power and position.
To him, I was Sofia.
I was someone with meaning, someone with worth. With his easy going manner and casual authority, he gave me the kind of self respect I had been yearning for my whole life simply by seeing me as a person.
And nothing felt more incredible than knowing somebody saw you, really saw you, and still loved you in the end.
Love.
The word had come to mind completely without thought but it felt right. It felt honest.
And after so many years of always covering up how I felt, or covering up who I was, honesty was refreshing.
Xander’s hand settled on the side of my neck, his thumb still gently stroking me. His gaze softened at my words but the heat of his eyes never diminished. Neither did the heat of his body.
“You saved me,” I whispered, my body beginning to heat up for reasons separate from the blankets and space heater. “Thank you.”
Xander shook his head. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he said, taking my hand and pressing my fingers to his lips.
“Me?” I asked in surprise. “What did I do?”
He looked down at me, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips but his eyes remained serious, the look of fear still echoing in his eyes.
“For coming back,” he said simply. He looked me over as if still unable to believe I was here, alive. “People have died in less severe conditions. And sometimes, in those moments between life and death, it feels easier to just let go.” He gripped my hand in his, swallowing my whole hand in his large and warm palm. “So thank you, for coming back.”
I knew what he meant. And the way he spoke, I could tell he also spoke from experience. There had been times, when I had been so extremely starved and exhausted, I had thought about going to sleep and never waking up. It wouldn’t have been difficult.
But something had always pushed against that idea. Something always anchored me here to move forward. For a long time, I thought it was my own instinct of self-preservation.
And maybe it was.
But I know that this time, at the river, it was more than just self-preservation that had brought me back from that icy murkiness.
I squeezed Xander’s hand. “I couldn’t go anywhere,” I said, my voice growing breathy and soft. “Not until I had a chance to tell you….”
Xander leaned in, drawing me closer to him. I could see my own heart echoed in his face. We both knew what the other was feeling but the words still needed to be said.
“Tell me what, sweetheart?” he asked, urging me forward.
And I knew he wanted me to speak first. He was giving me that power. Being in exile and now in hiding, I’ve had no real power for most of my life, despite being a princess. Saying the words that I was about to meant it would forever change the relationship between us. And after having so little power for so long, he was giving me the controls.
He was giving me the power.
You set the pace, sweetheart. And I’ll follow.
I could almost hear the unspoken promise.
I put both my hands on his face, cupping the rough stubble. Looking directly up at him, I said, “That I love you.” My heart fluttered at hearing my own voice say those words aloud. “I love you,” I repeated, almost drunk on the thrill of saying those three words.
If it was possible, Xander’s body grew hotter. His face changed imperceptibly. From the warm, encouraging gaze, his eyes turned fiery and his jaw tightened with a look of possessive dominance that made me swallow dryly in response.
He shifted a little so that I was completely beneath him with just the blanket holding us separate. I looked up, wanting to hear him say the words as well.
“Do you—” I was about to ask if he felt the same way but he ran a hand through my hair then gripped the mass of it, yanking my head back a little so I was forced to meet his gaze.
“Baby,” he said. “I’m pretty sure I loved you since the moment you nearly got me killed in Colombia.” I choked back a surprised laugh at his words, remembering that night that felt so long ago.
Tears suddenly wet my lashes, as waves of warmth and nostalgia hit me. “Really?” I asked, a wobbly smile on my lips. “You looked like you were ready to throw me over your knee then.”
Xander’s lips twitched. “It was both,” he admitted. “I wanted to give your ass a good walloping and then tell you that I wanted you to be mine forever.”
I had been so scared and so alone for so long. I had been so lonely that I hardly ever recognized the feeling anymore. But once I had collided with Xander’s magnetism, I had realized just what miracles life could offer.
Here was a man who had no guile, no ulterior motives. He loved like he fought—directly and fiercely.
“Sofia,” he said, grabbing my attention. He lowered his head, his lips brushing against mine softly, teasingly. “Be mine.” His lips brushed past me again. I ached for him. “Be mine forever.”
“Yes—”
Before I could even make my formal response, he captured my lips. His firm, experienced lips molded mine, kissing me like he had known me all my life. He forced my mouth open and took my very breath away as his tongue plunged into my mouth, tasting me intimately.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, so high on having our bodies touching that I couldn’t picture a day where we weren’t always so joined. I reveled as the blanket fell away and I felt the rough hairs of his chest rub against my breasts.
As soon as he felt my breasts against him, it was as if two live wires touched, sparks exploding. Immediately, Xander rolled me over, pinning me onto my back. He grabbed the puddled blanket between us and threw it aside. Taking my hands, he lifted them above me, pinning them above my head with one hand so that I laid open and bare to his touch.
In the warm, dim room of the lumber shop, I felt completely cocooned inside our own little world. No one else existed but us and I lapped up every second of it.
Slowly, Xander released my mouth, leaving my lips bruised and thoroughly kissed. He lowered his head to my breasts, slowly teasing and sucking at my nipples, making me writhe in ecstatic agony.