by Andrew Grey
Kendall drank the rest of the Gatorade and then reclined back on the bedding. Johnny lay down next to him, and Kendall curled close. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled over and over until he fell asleep.
Kendall woke alone. But he felt better, if really thirsty. He parted one of the curtains, squinting at the bright sunlight before letting the curtain fall back into place. After carefully getting out of bed, he stumbled to the refrigerator and grabbed another bottle of Gatorade, downed half of it in a few gulps and then took a break before drinking the rest of it. Then he opened the bathroom door and used the toilet with much relief. At least his body still seemed to be working. When he was done, he flushed and got a bottle of water from the refrigerator and then returned to bed. He drank most of the water before setting the bottle on the small counter beside the bed and closing his eyes once more.
When he woke again, there was no light coming through the windows, and Johnny was sitting at the small table in the front, his laptop open, typing away. Kendall groaned and slowly sat up.
“Are you thirsty?” Johnny asked, and after a few seconds he closed the lid of his laptop, stood up, and walked to where Kendall sat on the side of the bed. “Do you want something to eat?” Kendall nodded, and Johnny handed him a bottle of Gatorade.
Johnny hunted around in the cupboards until he found a toaster. He plugged it in and slid in two slices of bread. Then he got some butter out of the refrigerator. When the toast was done, he buttered it and added some cinnamon sugar—where that had come from Kendall had no idea, and he was too out of it to care. “Is that all I get?”
“Go ahead and make sure you can keep it down. Then I can make you something heartier,” Johnny explained, and Kendall ate the toast in a matter of a few bites.
“That was good,” he said, handing Johnny back the plate. Then he drank some more of the Gatorade before heading to the bathroom again. He took care of business and then joined Johnny at the table. “I’m still tired but feeling a lot better.” His muscles didn’t ache, and his mind seemed clear once he began to wake up. “So what is it you aren’t telling me?”
Johnny shook his head. “It’s nothing important, at least not right now.” Johnny stood up. “Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll drive you to your hotel. We can get something to eat there, and then you can go to bed.” Johnny moved to where Kendall was sitting, and he scooted over. “What matters is that you’re all right.”
“Johnny, do you know who did this to me?” Kendall asked.
Johnny shook his head. “No. I don’t, and I don’t think Lyman does either. I think he suspects someone, but he hasn’t said who it is.” Johnny put his arm around him, and Kendall leaned into the comfort of his embrace. “You had me so scared. I thought I’d lost you forever.”
Kendall swallowed and moved away. “I didn’t think you cared anymore,” he told him softly.
“Of course I care,” Johnny countered indignantly.
“Then why wouldn’t you come with me?” Kendall asked. “I had this stalker who wouldn’t leave me alone, and he kidnapped me and left me in a car in the middle of the desert to die. Is that what it took to get you out here? For me to nearly die?”
“You know that’s not true,” Johnny countered.
“Isn’t it? If you’d been here, like you promised, none of this would have happened,” Kendall said and squirmed to get away.
“Like I promised?” Johnny asked softly.
“Yeah. Don’t you remember, when we moved into the brownstone and you took down the guy from downstairs? You promised you’d always be there to protect me, but you weren’t,” Kendall said. “I remembered all of it while I was locked in that damned car. I remembered a lot of things. Like how we used to really care for each other and how we were there for each other. Stuff that’s gone now.” Johnny stood up, and Kendall jumped out of bed and hurried to the back, pulling the curtain so Johnny couldn’t see him, and conversely, so he couldn’t see Johnny’s face. He hadn’t kept much in the trailer, but managed to find a pair of jeans and a shirt. “And I don’t know if we can get that back.”
Kendall yanked on the jeans and was about to pull on the T-shirt when Johnny tore at the curtain, ripping it down from its track. “That’s not fair—how could you say that?” Johnny grabbed him by the shoulders and manhandled him forward, crashing their mouths together in a show of passion Kendall hadn’t felt from him for a long time.
Kendall moaned softly and closed his eyes. “Johnny, do you—” The words were cut off when Johnny kissed him again, this time harder, and held him closer. Kendall held on as he returned the kiss, reveling in the taste of his lover like he’d just rediscovered a long-lost delicacy he thought he’d never be able to have again.
Then Johnny gentled the kiss and slowly pulled away. “Did that feel like anything was gone to you?” he asked as he held Kendall’s gaze. “Things may have been a bit difficult with distance….”
“It started long before that,” Kendall said.
“I know,” Johnny told him. “But it ends now.”
Kendall stepped back. “Okay, if that’s what you want. You can go back to New York, and when I’m done with the film, I’ll get my stuff from the apartment and find another place to live.” Kendall turned around and continued getting dressed. “When we get to the hotel, I’m sure they can get you a room of your own.”
Johnny placed his hands on Kendall’s shoulders and spun him around. “What are you talking about?” he snapped.
Kendall shrugged away from him. “You said it ends now, so I figured you meant us.”
“Is that what you want?” Johnny asked, and Kendall shrugged again. “Because that wasn’t what I meant.” Johnny moved closer. “What I meant was that I want the excitement back in our lives. I want us to be closer and to be passionate.” Johnny leaned into him, his lips close to Kendall’s ear. “I want to make you scream the way you used to. Remember? That poor neighbor pushed your boxes because you treated him to a screaming love fest every night. Do you remember that?”
Kendall swallowed and nodded. “Then you aren’t having an affair?” Kendall asked, and Johnny’s eyes widened.
“No,” Johnny answered, but he looked a bit guilty. “Jeremy made his interest known, and”—Johnny turned away—“in a moment of weakness I kissed him. He wanted more, but….” Johnny didn’t turn around. “But there was a problem—he wasn’t you.” Johnny finally turned back to him. “I’ve never been interested in anyone but you.”
“Then why didn’t you come with me? I missed you every day….”
Johnny sighed. “I should have. If I had it to do again, I’d come with you instead of being selfish. I should have been your partner and supported you the way you’ve always supported me.” Johnny tugged him into his arms. “Do you remember? Because I certainly do.” Kendall smiled and leaned his head against Johnny’s shoulder. “I’ve had lots of time to think over the past few months.”
“So have I,” Kendall said, closing his eyes, the knots that had been in his stomach for months unwinding. He hadn’t realized they’d been there until they were gone. “You make me happy, Johnny. You always have, and it hurt when I thought you might have found someone else.”
“No way, sweetheart. I may be an old grump who spends way too much time in his own head, but you mean the world to me, and I can’t imagine my life or my world without you in it.” Johnny held him tighter, and they stood together quietly for a long while. “Have you noticed in my books that there’s always a man, young and talented, who goes with his heart each and every time?”
“Yeah. I wondered about that.”
“Those characters are you. Each and every one of them is you.” Johnny paused. “I can’t write a single book without you—it just doesn’t work.”
Kendall shook his head slightly. “You haven’t been able to write?” The thought made a small part of him happy.
“Not one of my stories,” Johnny said. “The entire time you were gone, I was working on something else, some
thing different from anything I’ve ever written. It was almost done when I got the call about you and I rushed out here. See, the story I’ve been working on is for you. It’s our story. I wrote it for you.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. After I kissed Jeremy, I realized what was really important. When I finished the last book, nothing came. The ideas dried up, and then I started thinking and dreaming about us, about how we met and our first date.”
“The carriage ride through the park,” Kendall supplied, and Johnny nodded.
“Yeah, and then moving in together and getting our first apartment together. The story wasn’t high adventure, but it was definitely one of love. After I started writing it, other ideas came, and I’ve had Jeremy researching for those, but nothing happened between us other than the kiss, which opened my eyes to what I had. Can you forgive me?”
“Honey,” Kendall said, burying his face in Johnny’s neck, inhaling the richest, warmest, most masculine scent on earth, “there’s nothing to forgive.” Then Kendall kissed Johnny hard.
“Should we go back to the hotel?” Johnny asked.
Kendall shook his head. “Are we safe here?” he asked.
“Yeah. Lyman has people here guarding the equipment, and right now there are two men, huge guys, outside the trailer making sure no one comes near you who shouldn’t. Why?”
“Then let’s find something to eat here and then go to bed,” Kendall said.
“I don’t want you to get too tired,” Johnny cautioned, and Kendall kissed him, communicating everything he was feeling without saying a single word. When he broke the kiss, Johnny stared back at him and then took off for the door. The trailer rocked a bit as he left, and then the door slammed closed. Kendall had no idea what was going on, but about five minutes later, Johnny returned with a plate of sandwiches and more bottles of water. Johnny set the plate on the table and closed the door. “Are you hungry?”
Kendall sat at the table, and Johnny slid in next to him. He took a sandwich and began eating slowly. Johnny did the same. They shared looks and smiles while they ate. “I think I’m going to need my energy,” Kendall said as he finished the first half of his sandwich and started on the second.
“Somehow I think we both are,” Johnny said, and he moved a bit closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. “But you have to promise me no screaming, and if you get too tired, you have to promise to tell me. I nearly lost you once. I’m not going to go through that again.” The care in Johnny’s voice reassured Kendall more than anything Johnny had actually told him. As an actor, he knew sincerity and care when he heard it, especially from his Johnny. “Let me take care of this,” Johnny said, motioning toward the debris on the table. “I want you to get undressed and climb into bed. I’ll be there in just a few minutes.” Johnny kissed him gently and then slid out of the bench seat. He began cleaning up, and Kendall slid out as well, moving past him to the bed in back.
Now that he’d eaten, the ordeal of the last few days really began to catch up with him. Kendall undressed and climbed beneath the covers, closing his eyes almost immediately. He felt Johnny join him a few minutes later.
“Sweetheart, you need to drink a bit more before you sleep,” Johnny told him, and Kendall sat up without opening his eyes. He drank some water and then lay back down. Johnny chuckled softly, and Kendall didn’t have the energy to ask what he found funny. The last thing he remembered was Johnny settling next to him, holding him tight as he fell asleep.
Almost instantly Kendall was back inside the car. He knew he shouldn’t be there, but he was. This time the heat inside the car was even more intense. Kendall pulled on the handcuffs, trying to free himself so he could get out. In his dream, he managed to lower the window in an effort to let some of the heat escape, but more just poured in. He had nowhere to go and he prepared to die. But then night fell and the heat vanished. He breathed a sigh of relief, and then the sun rose again and the heat was back. Over and over, this cycle repeated until Kendall couldn’t stand it any longer. “Help me” was all he could seem to mutter.
“Shhh,” he heard someone say, and Kendall opened his eyes. “You’re okay. You’re here with me and not in the car.”
“Johnny?” Kendall asked and blinked a few times.
“It’s me, I’m here,” Johnny told him gently and soothed him back down on the bed. “You’re fine, and no one is ever going to be able to do something like that to you again.” Johnny held Kendall close. “You’re in bed with me and there’s no car.”
“I know,” Kendall said with a relieved sigh. His heart was still pounding as Johnny slid his hand under Kendall’s T-shirt and rubbed small circles on his belly.
“Lie back down and close your eyes,” Johnny whispered. “You’re just fine. I have you, and there’s nothing to worry about.” Kendall did as Johnny said, hoping he wouldn’t end up back in that car every time he closed his eyes. “It’ll fade. You know it will. The memories, the experience, it will fade.”
“What if it doesn’t?” Kendall asked without opening his eyes.
“You’re strong, and what happened to you was hurtful and cruel, but it will fade with time,” Johnny said calmly. Kendall wasn’t so sure. “You need to trust me,” Johnny told him, and then Kendall felt Johnny’s weight shift as he climbed on top of him. Johnny kissed him gently, softly, but with heat, passion, and love that went straight to Kendall’s soul, rekindling the care and rebuilding the deep connection they’d always had. It was that connection he’d always counted on, and the one he’d feared might be gone forever, but with a kiss and a reassuring touch, Johnny brought it roaring back.
Kendall moaned and almost desperately clutched Johnny to him. They broke their kiss only long enough for Johnny to tug off Kendall’s T-shirt and to get off what he was wearing. Kendall sighed softly when Johnny’s skin pressed to his. He needed that intimacy so badly. “Johnny,” Kendall moaned, very near tears. He’d missed him so much. Kendall placed his hands on Johnny’s cheeks, stilling him. “What happened to us? I’ve missed you so much, and not just since I’ve been here. I think I’ve missed you for months, maybe years. I was always so busy, and then you got busy too, and we never seemed to be together much, and….”
“Hey, I said all that stops and I meant it. We’re going to change our schedules, and that means if you’re shooting a movie, then I’ll be out here, staying with you. I’ll work when you’re working, and when you’re not, we’ll spend our time together. If you’re working in New York, then I’ll be there too. I thought I couldn’t write if I wasn’t in our home in New York, but I was wrong. I can’t write if I’m not home with you. That’s where I was wrong—it wasn’t the place that gave me inspiration—it was you.” Johnny kissed him hard, nibbling a bit on his lower lip. Johnny slid his hands down Kendall’s side and continued lower over his hips, pushing his underwear down.
“I…,” Kendall whined, and he almost immediately forgot what he wanted to say.
“I know. It’s been far too long,” Johnny said, and Kendall gasped when Johnny grabbed him, wrapping his cock in the warmth of his hand and talented fingers. “It should never be so long again.” Johnny stroked slowly, and Kendall clamped his eyes shut, reveling in a sensation he’d almost considered lost to him.
Johnny took off the last of his clothes, and then they were skin to skin, warmth to warmth. Kendall moaned and writhed under Johnny’s expert ministrations. He tried to reciprocate, but Johnny held him still, kissing and touching him all over. “I need to be sure you’re in one piece.”
“Does that mean licking me everywhere?” Kendall asked playfully.
“Yup,” Johnny reassured him. “I need to be sure you aren’t hurt in any way, and that means verifying that you still taste right.” Johnny licked and kissed his way down Kendall’s neck. “Yes, you still taste sweet and rich there. But how about here?”
Johnny licked one of Kendall’s nipples, and he groaned softly. “Yup, still the same, still mine.” Johnny stroked lightly down Kend
all’s chest, kissing a trail behind his hand. “Everything’s okay so far.” Johnny was obviously loving this, and so was Kendall. Johnny mumbled something as he swirled his tongue in Kendall’s belly button, and when Johnny kept going, Kendall stilled, silently pleading for Johnny not to stop. His mind filled with supplications and entreaties. “I know what you want,” Johnny said.
Kendall whined softly, waiting, tingling where Johnny touched him, his cock jumping in anticipation. Finally, Johnny tilted his head and licked slowly up his length. “Oh God,” Kendall moaned softly as his legs throbbed against the bedding. He lolled his head back as his entire body zinged with passionate energy.
“Yes, you’re still the same as I remembered,” Johnny told him, and Kendall was about to make a smart quip when Johnny sucked him into his mouth and he forgot about everything except the way Johnny felt around him.
“Jesus,” Kendall swore softly, and Johnny hummed as he sucked and licked him. It had been so long and Kendall was already so keyed up, he nearly lost it completely. “Johnny,” Kendall moaned, closing his eyes and going with the feeling. “I missed you so much.”
Johnny stopped, then his lips slipped away, and Kendall’s cock bounced against his belly. “I missed you too,” Johnny told him, and then he was there, kissing and pressing Kendall against the mattress. “The day I met you, I knew you were someone special and someone I wanted in my life forever. I wanted to show you how special I thought you were, and I’m sorry I lost sight of that.”
“We lost sight of that,” Kendall corrected and then guided Johnny back into a kiss. Kendall wrapped his legs around Johnny’s waist, communicating exactly what he wanted, what he needed.
“I don’t have… stuff,” Johnny said. “And I will not hurt you.” Johnny kissed him again and then shifted on the bed, surrounding Kendall once again in his wet heat. Johnny bobbed his head, and Kendall thrust upward, needing his lover so badly he could hardly think straight. Within moments, pressure built inside. Kendall gasped a warning, but Johnny continued, pulling him over the edge until he soared into space, gliding and floating, before settling in Johnny’s arms.