So they decided to go see Jennifer’s mother on the south coast of the island. It was a couple of hours drive, but they were all excited to get going. The weather was perfect for a road trip.
“Teddy bear song, Mommy,” Krista called out from the back seat.
“Again?” Jennifer laughed. “You girls are going to wear out that tape.”
The song was one for which the girls had developed a fondness, perhaps just because it was about a teddy bear, but Jennifer loved watching their reactions when they heard it. She played it over and over for them. Each time, they enjoyed it as much as the last.
Jennifer rewound the tape to the right spot and, as predicted, the girls lit up when the song started. But their joy didn’t last too long.
Nelson pressed the eject button. He took the tape and flung it out the window without a word or any sort of explanation.
“Oh no,” Jennifer cried. Then the cries began in the back seat when the music came to a halt.
“What did you have to go and do that for?” she snapped.
He continued to ignore her. Finally, she gave up, and they continued to drive in silence.
He was the first to speak, and Jennifer will never forget the words.
“I hates Krista,” he said. “I hates those youngsters.”
“What the frig did those kids ever do to you for you to say that?” Jennifer said.
There was no response, and Jennifer put it behind her for the rest of the trip.
41
“Get the girls ready, Jennifer,” announced Nelson.
“Where are we going?” she asked. “My son, there’s too much work to be done here this evening for me to be going out for a drive.”
“Well, you don’t have to go,” he said. “I want to take the girls to the playground.”
Jennifer wasn’t quite sure how to react. There’d only been one other occasion where Nelson had taken the girls to the playground, and she wasn’t sure she fully trusted him to take care of them. She wasn’t even sure he could strap them into their seats properly. But she was happy that he was at least making an effort. These days she believed the only thing that mattered to him was being in front of the slot machines at the bar or causing arguments at home. She’d had very little peace since they had moved home from PEI.
But instead of arguing, she decided maybe a day with their dad would do the girls good. The weather was hot. There was laundry and dishes to be done.
“All right, but don’t be gone long,” she said.
Jennifer got the girls dressed in their matching summer outfits, perfect for a July afternoon at the playground. She packed everything, from snacks to Band-Aids, and sent the three of them on their way.
As Jennifer cleaned the house, the girls were on her mind.
She was nervous. What if Nelson wasn’t watching them? she worried. But she forced it to the back of her mind. On a positive note, if something did go wrong, at least Krista was now old enough to tell her what had happened.
Nearly two hours later, Nelson returned home with the girls.
“Ice cream!” Krista was bubbling with excitement.
“Ice cream?” questioned Jennifer as she looked at Nelson.
“We went to Lewisporte,” he said. “I bought them ice cream while we were out there.”
“Why would you drive half an hour away for ice cream?” asked Jennifer. “I thought you were going to the playground up the street.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “It just seemed like a good idea for a drive.”
42
July 29, 2002.
“Good morning, Jennifer,” Tammy said as Jennifer opened the apartment door.
The girls were giggling and playing with their dolls in the living room while Nelson was making tea in the kitchen. It seemed like the workers from child welfare were visiting at least a couple of times a week, and Jennifer knew that it was making Nelson furious. He was beyond embarrassed.
“I know we’ve been here a lot,” she said. “But we have to make sure that you and the girls aren’t doing without.
“I don’t mind,” said Jennifer. “I’m just glad to know you guys are watching out for me.”
And these days Jennifer was in need of more support, as they suspected. Nelson had gone to social services with a request to have the cheques sent to him. So, for the past month, he was back in control of the money, and things were getting tough.
“Jennifer, you realize the girls will soon be starting school,” said Tammy. “We’re suggesting it would be good for them to be in a social environment on a part-time basis. That would give you a break for three days a week, and we think it would be good for Krista and Karen to make some friends.”
From the sudden burst of dishes hitting the bottom of the sink, there was no mistaking how Nelson felt about the idea. For the next few minutes, Jennifer and Tammy could barely carry on their conversation over the sounds of smashing dishes and Nelson’s mumbling.
Finally, Tammy gave up. “Jennifer, I want you to think about this. I will have a look at some possible arrangements and I’ll let you know what we come up with. I’ll be back in a couple of days.”
Once the door closed, and Tammy was out of the building, Nelson turned to Jennifer.
“They aren’t going to no daycare,” said Nelson.
“But you heard what Tammy said. They need to get used to other kids, and I need a break every now and again,” she said.
“Well, you can put it out of your mind. I’m not having the youngsters going to no daycare.”
43
August 3, 2002.
It was a beautiful day, and Jennifer had spent the day in the apartment with the girls. The days were quiet, but busy. Jennifer was finally turning the apartment into a home, but it was taking some work with two active little girls scrambling around. She still felt tired from the moving around and the stress of the past spring. She just needed to get out.
“Nelson, let’s take the girls out this evening,” she suggested. “I need to get out of this apartment or I’m going to go crazy. Why don’t we take the girls to the playground after supper?”
When he started to walk away, Jennifer was worried he’d be leaving again before she could even get an answer. Finally, he agreed.
“Let’s go out to Cobb’s Pond,” she suggested.
The pond was only a couple of kilometres away from the apartment, and there was plenty to keep the girls busy. Not only was there a big area for them to run and burn off some energy, but there was also a set of swings and a see-saw. For Karen and Krista, it was the perfect place. They were bubbly little girls who loved to giggle, skip, and run. But their favourite activity was always using the swings, especially when they could convince Mommy to get on with them.
Tonight was no different. Jennifer struggled to keep up with them as they ran around the park, laughing and full of life.
Nelson stayed in the car and watched them for over an hour.
Finally, Jennifer and the girls headed back to the car. It felt so good to be outside, and the girls needed the freedom. Jennifer wasn’t ready to go back to the apartment. Once the girls were strapped into their seats, Jennifer had an idea. “Why don’t we take a ride out to Little Harbour? I heard they have new swings there now.”
It was about a ten-minute drive out the highway, and then down a small gravel road. The last stretch of road dropped off sharply down to Gander Lake, in an area known as Little Harbour.
From the top of the hill, Jennifer could see the wharf, where a few people were still swimming after the heat of the day. Others were still out on the lake or bringing their boats in for the night. The isolated area of Gander Lake looked beautiful this time of the evening. The dark water reflected the surrounding hills perfectly in the calm.
It didn’t take long befo
re the girls eyed what they were looking for: the swings. They started to shriek with excitement.
Nelson parked by the water, and the girls weren’t long springing into action once Jennifer let them out of their car seats. The three of them went directly to the swings.
Jennifer jumped into the swing herself. Then Krista climbed up onto one leg while Karen jumped onto the other. They both hung onto their mom’s neck, as Jennifer started to swing higher, and higher. The higher and faster she would go, the more the girls laughed.
“Higher, Mommy!”
Despite the enormous amount of fun they were having, Nelson stayed on the beach by the wharf. He didn’t swim. In fact, he was afraid of the water more than anything. But he sat on the shore the whole time, completely unaware of his family. Instead, he watched the swimmers as, one by one, they continued jumping off the end of the wharf, until the sun nearly set.
By the end of the evening there were only a couple of people left at Little Harbour. As night closed in quickly, Jennifer put the girls’ safely back in the car, and they drove home to Gander.
44
August 4, 2002.
“The girls are sleeping,” Jennifer informed Nelson when he woke up. “Try not to wake them. I think they’re worn out from last night.”
They hadn’t gotten home until after nine o’clock. Jennifer had put them into the tub and got them off to bed as early as possible. Today was going to be a big day.
Every year the town of Gander holds a demolition derby, which brings out nearly everyone in town. This year the town had installed new stands, so Jennifer figured the girls were old enough to take in the event from the seats.
When they finally woke, Jennifer got them breakfast. As soon as they had finished eating, they started giggling and ran straight for the living room. They were getting ready for playtime, but in order to have them both ready for the derby in time, Jennifer started getting them ready right away.
“All right, girls,” she called out. “We’re going to put your hair up into ponytails today.”
It was rare for the girls to wear their hair up, but Jennifer thought it would like nice for the big day out. Then it was Jennifer’s turn to get ready. But before she got into the bath, the girls started acting up. “Mommy, Karen’s pulling my hair,” said Krista.
“Come on, now, girls, Mommy has to get ready,” said Jennifer. When she looked, she noticed their hair was already getting messed up. They were bored and restless.
“I can take them to the playground so you can get ready,” said Nelson.
“Okay,” said Jennifer. “Just give me a minute to get their travel bag ready.”
Inside, Jennifer packed snacks, extra clothes, and sunscreen. By the time she was finished, the girls had everything they needed for the day. Even though they wouldn’t be gone long, it was a standard practice to make sure they had all the necessities whenever they went out.
All dressed and ready to go, she walked her beautiful little daughters to the door.
And in a moment Jennifer would never forget, they both looked at her. Simultaneously they both said, “Mommy, we come back for you, okay?”
She waved them off and went to run the bath. She assumed Nelson was going to the playground down the street and would be back in less than an hour. She didn’t want to keep the girls waiting when they got back.
It wasn’t often Jennifer was home alone, so she enjoyed the warmth and comfort of the bath on this particular morning. Last night had left her feeling rejuvenated, and she was looking forward to the derby.
But the day was waiting, so she got out and started getting dressed. After her clothes were on, she put on her makeup as she usually did.
Her hair was still wrapped in a towel when her life changed forever.
“Jennifer, Jennifer!” Nelson was yelling. He was out of breath from running. He burst into the apartment. “Krista is in the water, and I can’t find Karen.”
“What are you talking about?” She knew from the panic in his eyes that something was seriously wrong.
“The girls are at the lake!” He tried to catch his breath.
Time stood still as Jennifer ran down the stairs of the building. The towel from her hair landed next to the apartment door as she fled. The police would find it there in the same location several hours later.
“I just remembered, Karen is in the car,” he said as they ran to the car.
She looked in the car. No Karen.
“Karen’s not here,” she cried, looking around the parking lot. “Where is she?”
“I left her down there,” he said.
“Where?”
“Little Harbour.”
“Let’s go,” she cried. She got in the car, confused. Where were the girls? Why wasn’t Nelson giving her a straight answer about what had happened?
From then on, time began to slow down.
“Drive faster,” she yelled as she and Nelson made their way down the highway in his Dodge Shadow.
“My foot is to the floor,” he said.
But that wasn’t how it felt to Jennifer. For the next ten minutes, Jennifer felt like the car was barely moving. She couldn’t tell if Nelson was lying to her about how fast he was going or whether time was standing still.
Either way, she couldn’t get to Little Harbour fast enough.
The familiar landmarks moved past the window of the car in what seemed to be slow motion to Jennifer. The Irving truck stop, the radio station. In what felt like an eternity, they passed an area known as Tower Hill. Nelson sat behind the wheel quietly.
Finally, they made the left turn off the Trans-Canada Highway and went down the dirt road that would take them to Little Harbour.
The car finally topped the last hill looking down toward the vast, dark lake. It had never looked so ominous. It was isolated, and today the place that had been so joyous last night was terrifying. It was an overcast morning. Calm. There was no one around, of course. Everyone would be getting ready for the derby by now.
Jennifer’s eyes scanned the landscape before her. There was an eerie darkness in the surrounding hills and the glass-like reflection of Gander Lake. Prominent in the horseshoe-shaped inlet, there was a rickety old wharf slightly to the left. It was the same one where Nelson had sat last night, watching the teenagers as they swam and jumped from the end of the wharf.
And although they were still quite a distance away, Jennifer’s eyes were drawn to the floating piece of cloth next to the wharf. The cloth, she knew, was the little T-shirt she had put on Krista not long ago.
“Go get help,” she said, as the car came to a stop and she got out. She stumbled, not realizing the car was still moving, as she headed toward the wharf. She turned around to realize Nelson was still there. “Get help!” she screamed.
“Krista, Krista! Can you hear me?” Jennifer yelled.
She walked out to the end of the wharf. She moved carefully, knowing she couldn’t swim and there was no one here to help her.
She’s still alive, I’ve got to help her, she thought. But Krista was too far away for Jennifer to reach. Shaking, crying, and yelling for Karen, she went to the trees nearby.
“Karen! Where are you? It’s Mommy, please come out!” Jennifer felt numb. She could hardly believe what was happening as she went into the woods trying to find a stick.
She fell, and got up. She grabbed every stick in sight, but none of them was long enough for the job she needed to do.
Finally, she found a long branch and ran back to the wharf.
There was no movement from Krista. She was face down, and there was no response. But in Jennifer’s mind there was hope. If only she could get her out of the water.
“Krista! Krista!”
Using the stick, she lay down on the wharf and reached to try and hook Krista’s clothes
. But there was no way. The closest she could get was just a couple of feet away.
And where was Nelson? Again she wondered if time had stopped, but it seemed like Nelson was taking too long.
“Karen,” she continued to call out. Suddenly, she had an image of Karen being caught in the woods, trapped and hurt. She ran back to the forest and started tearing her way through the brush. She swatted away the stinging branches, expecting at any minute to see her little girl. But there were no replies to her calls.
She felt like she had been searching for hours.
At last, Jennifer sat, in the extreme silence of the lake, and cried until she heard the approaching sirens. It seemed like it had taken hours for help to arrive. For her there was still hope—they would rescue Krista, and then she could go back to searching for Karen.
They were her family. They were her everything, and without them Jennifer knew her world would collapse.
45
“You have to come with us now, Jennifer,” said the paramedic as he put his arm around her.
“I’m not leaving here without Karen,” she cried.
“I’m really sorry, Jennifer, but we need you at the hospital with Krista. The police will be here to search for Karen, and they’ll let you know as soon as they find anything.”
When the paramedics arrived, Jennifer stood in shock. She watched as one of them walked out into the water and picked up Krista’s little body. The little girl who was so full of life lay limp in his arms. Jennifer wondered whether Krista’s body must have floated closer to the shore while she was searching for Karen in the trees.
Now she stood at the back of the ambulance and looked inside. The attendants began moving mechanically, hooking up wires to the little three-year-old body that lay on the stretcher.
“I can’t leave,” said Jennifer. “I don’t know what to do.”
“You have to go with Krista,” said the paramedic.
Reluctantly, Jennifer climbed into the back of the ambulance. She noticed Nelson had already started the car and was driving back toward the hospital to meet them.
Mr. Big Page 10