“Are you sure you are feeling well enough?” the officer asked.
“Yes,” she said, “but I don’t have any money to buy gas.”
The officers gave her enough money to make it home. When she was walked toward the car, Nelson was already sitting in the passenger seat.
For a moment, Jennifer dreaded getting back into the car. But she knew the police were keeping an eye on them, so she got in.
Nelson was reading a letter the police had given him.
“How did the police find us there?” he asked. “Was it you? Did you tell them?”
Jennifer denied finding help, and for the next four hours she listened endlessly to Nelson complaining. He was furious that his driver’s licence had been taken because of the seizures. And he blamed Jennifer.
55
In Gander, Jennifer was grateful for her first night’s sleep on a real bed. The next morning, her legs were still a little sore, but she was eating normally again, and she was well on the way to recovering from her ordeal in St. John’s.
But getting out of bed was also a problem for another reason. The girls were on her mind all the time.
Later that day, Jennifer was back to juggling the household once again. She was boiling potatoes for lunch, but periodically running down to the basement to do laundry at the same time. On her last trip up from the laundry room, she discovered her dinner was starting to burn.
She shut off the pot, and at the same time there was a knock on the door. Nelson was lying on a mattress on the floor, and he turned to see who it was.
“Good morning, Constable Trainor,” Jennifer said. She had met the officer a few times before.
“Good morning,” he said. “Looks like you’re cooking some lunch?”
“She was,” said Nelson. “Until she burned it up.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We need to talk to both you guys, if you’re able. Nelson, there’s a car downstairs waiting for you, and Jennifer can come with me.”
Jennifer got into the cruiser and they headed to the police station. Inside, they walked up the stairs to what Constable Trainor called the Major Crime Unit. It was a section of the police station that Jennifer had never been to before. She didn’t know where Nelson was.
“Before we discuss any of this, you’re having something to eat,” said the officer. “What would you like us to pick up for you?”
Within a few minutes a young woman returned with a bag of McDonald’s. The smell of the fries made Jennifer realize just how hungry she was. When the bag was opened, she devoured its contents in a hurry. She had never tasted anything so good. There were times she had to slow down simply because she felt like her body might reject such a big meal so quickly. It was a heck of a lot better than the potatoes she had left at home.
“Jennifer, we don’t want you to go back with Nelson,” he said. “We think he killed your daughters, and he’s probably going to be charged. Our fear is that he is dangerous, and that he might try to do something to you.”
It was a thought that had crossed Jennifer’s mind several times after the death of the girls. But one she quickly abandoned to protect her own sanity. She had also tried her best to forget what he had done in St. John’s. More importantly, she tried to bury thoughts of what his intentions were.
Suddenly, Nelson’s words came to her mind. I have something in the back of my mind that I’m going to take to my grave.
There were times she wondered why he didn’t try harder to save Krista that day. Why didn’t he wrap her up, or do anything before he came back to Gander?
Now, she understood exactly what the officer was saying. It all made sense. At that moment, she wanted nothing else to do with Nelson Hart. Husband or not, she was going to get away from him.
She wasn’t sure what to think about her own life anymore. But she knew that she was safe in the hands of the police, and she would have food.
“We’re going to buy you some supplies, and then we’re going to bring you somewhere safe,” said Constable Trainor. “We’ve been talking to your sister in Prince Edward Island, and it’s fine if you stay there. Are you okay with that?”
Jennifer agreed, and in no time an officer showed up with all kinds of personal items she would need for the trip.
“We’re going to bring you to Corner Brook tonight, where you can stay with your sister. Then you’ll catch the ferry to the mainland at Port aux Basques in the morning.”
They jumped into a big SUV, and the officers made her lie down on the back seat of the police cruiser to make sure Nelson wouldn’t see her as they left the station. They drove straight to the apartment. She didn’t own any luggage, so Jennifer began to round up all her belongings in garbage bags.
But when the officers looked in on her, they discovered that what she was packing included all the items belonging to Karen and Krista.
“That’s going to be a lot to have to carry with you,” the officer stated. “Are you sure you wouldn’t be better off leaving it here?”
“I’m not leaving the girls’ stuff here, because he might do something with it,” Jennifer snapped back.
So, with $60 in her pocket, and all her possessions in the back of the vehicle, Jennifer left Nelson behind.
56
The police cruiser rolled into her sister’s driveway, and Penny was there waiting in the front window. The police officers helped her carry her belongings inside, and with a few instructions, they wished her luck and were on their way.
Penny hugged her sister. “I’m glad you’re here, Jennifer. Everything’s going to be okay,” she said. “Things will get better.”
For the first time since the girls’ deaths, Jennifer actually felt like she might be able to start getting her life back on track.
The two sisters made their way downtown to the social services offices, where the arrangements were already made. There was some spending money for Jennifer, as she travelled to Prince Edward Island, and two vouchers for the cost of the ferry.
Jennifer had told the police early on that she would not be travelling on the ferry alone. Not only was she nervous about the trip, but she couldn’t handle the sight of water anymore. The other voucher was for Penny’s return trip.
The next morning, she and Penny were up before the sun, and on their way to the ferry. The last time Jennifer had made the drive to Port aux Basques, the girls were in the back seat, and it was a much happier time. As they drove along the highway, Jennifer remembered that particular drive.
By ten o’clock they had arrived and were finally ready to board.
“Penny, promise me we won’t have to look at the water, okay?” said Jennifer. “I just can’t take it.” They managed to make the rest of the trip by sitting in the ship’s interior. Jennifer and her sister chatted and watched the people passing by. Others were napping, while several people were having an early morning party at the bar.
When they got off the big ferry in Nova Scotia, her mother was there, along with her brother-in-law. They drove for several hours through the scenic countryside of Cape Breton, so far away from her home. So far away from the graves in which she took comfort.
But she knew in her heart this was the right thing to do. What if Nelson had really killed the girls? And what about the scene at the mall? Was he trying to make her so weak that he would kill her, too?
She tossed the ideas back and forth in her mind. At the same time, she tried not to think of the little white crosses where she longed to be.
Suddenly, the car was slowing down, and she looked ahead to see where they were. It was another ferry. They were getting ready to cross to Prince Edward Island.
“Mom, I don’t want to see the water,” she said. Fortunately, for Jennifer this ferry ride would be a short one, and she didn’t have to get out of the car.
When they got to
her sister’s in Prince Edward Island, her three nieces and nephews came running to meet her. She was happy to see them, but she still felt very far from home.
Her sister’s house was crowded. It was a three-bedroom bungalow. Living there were the four children, Susan and her husband, and her mother and her boyfriend, Pat.
Jennifer would be sleeping on a blow-up mattress on the living room floor. It wasn’t the most ideal of accommodations, but she was convinced this was the best, and safest, place for her. Her family all agreed: they didn’t trust Nelson one bit, and they wanted her with them.
She settled in as best she could, but her heart longed to visit the girls’ graves. It had only been a month since they died.
“She’s not here,” Jennifer overheard Susan on the phone. “Well, I don’t know who told you that,” she said into the receiver. “But Jennifer is not with us.”
The phone call had gotten Jennifer’s full attention. “Who was that?”
“Nelson’s mother. She says she knows you’re staying here, but I didn’t tell her anything,” said Susan.
Jennifer settled back down into her chair. She didn’t have the energy to deal with this right now, and she hoped that would be the last phone call. But the caller wouldn’t give up easily, and Jennifer knew that all too well.
She called another week later, and again her sister refused to give any information. Jennifer could guess what Nelson’s mother would say. She could already hear her defending her son, telling Jennifer that he didn’t hurt the girls. He would never hurt her, and she would be best off with Nelson.
But Jennifer was too tired to listen to it. And living in a busy house also helped keep her mind off Nelson and his mother as well.
That is, until one evening when she was sitting in the living room. The kids were huddled in front of the television, and she and Susan were having a cup of tea.
“There’s someone there!” screamed Jennifer. “There was someone looking in the window!”
Panic ensued. Her brother-in-law and Pat took off running to see if they could find the person, but they found no one.
“It was probably someone on their way home from the bar down the road,” said her mother. “But I’m not taking any chances on what Nelson Hart would do to get next to Jennifer.”
She called the police, who in turn called the RCMP in Gander.
The next morning, they received a call that worried the entire family.
“We’ve tried tracking Nelson down,” the officer said over the phone. “We’ve looked everywhere, but he’s nowhere to be found. You need to stay safe, and don’t worry, we’ll be keeping a close eye on your house.”
Jennifer was surprised to see patrol cars passing their house the next day, keeping a steady watch. She left the next afternoon to go down to the local grocery stores, and five police cars passed her along the way.
If nothing else, she knew that they were protecting her, but it also showed her just how seriously the police were taking the situation. Their diligence showed her how much they believed Nelson had the potential to be dangerous.
That evening, there was some relief for Jennifer’s family, after a call came in from the police. Nelson was staying with his mother. Jennifer could relax for now.
Constable Trainor continued to stay in touch with Jennifer, to keep her posted on any new developments and to see how she was doing.
“Nelson called here the other night,” she said. “The caller identification was from his mother’s house, but whoever was on the other end didn’t speak. His mother would have said something, so we think it was Nelson.”
“Well, you’re safe where you are,” the officer reassured her. “I’ve been told by the police in Charlottetown that they are keeping a very strong presence in your area.”
But despite being safe, Jennifer wasn’t happy. She wanted her own bed. She wanted to be in Newfoundland. She wasn’t particularly comfortable being on the mainland. But most of all, she missed being able to visit Karen and Krista’s graves. She wanted to be home. She was a grieving mother who couldn’t even visit her daughters’ graves. It was torture.
On December 19, Jennifer, her mother, and her stepfather, Pat, got in the car and headed for home. But Jennifer wouldn’t get to Gander right away. They went to her mother’s home on the south coast, nearly three hours away.
Though she was glad to be back on the island, she still wasn’t content.
Christmas came and went uncelebrated, and she longed to be able to visit their graves every day.
After Christmas, two RCMP members dropped in to St. Alban’s for a visit.
“So, how are you doing?” asked Constable Trainor, who was genuinely concerned.
“I’m okay, but I want to be back in Gander, where I can be close to the girls’ graves,” she told him.
The officer looked around the one-bedroom trailer. It was small, and Jennifer had created a makeshift bedroom in the living area. There was barely enough room here for two, let alone three people.
“I can see that,” he said. “I guess you need your own space. If you are up to it, we can arrange for you to stay in a transition house in Gander. That way you will be safe from Nelson, and you might feel better.”
Jennifer wasn’t thinking of Nelson at all. She just wanted to be home, and their words made her want to leave right away. She had never longed to be somewhere as much as she wanted to be at the cemetery at that moment.
57
It wasn’t long before Jennifer was settled in back at the transition house. A place she had become too familiar with over the years. She knew the workers, and there was usually someone staying there who she knew as well. Most of the women who left their husbands because of abuse usually ended up back in their marriages, no matter how bad things got. And no matter how much their husbands promised to change, the abuse always seemed to start again. And the women would eventually end up back in the transition house time after time. Jennifer supposed she was really no different than the rest of these women.
But this time she didn’t care. She was relieved to be closer to her daughters’ graves. She was also relieved to have her own bed and her own closet.
Today she wasn’t in the mood to nap, but there was nothing better to do than to lie on her bed and enjoy the space. The two plastic tubs containing all of Karen and Krista’s belongings sat in the closet. She sized up the tubs that she had carried with her through the entire move. She had carried them from one province to another and home again. She wondered how many times she would have to carry this stuff through the rest of her life. Right now, that didn’t matter. She’d carry it to the moon if she had to. It was also in the back of her mind that a substantial amount of their belongings was still in the hands of the RCMP. She prayed those belongings were in safe hands. There were pictures and baptism certificates, there were some toys, and a lot of the girls’ clothes. The police assured her that they would take care of the items. If not for the police, the pictures might never have been recovered from the garbage. For that, she was grateful.
“Jennifer!” yelled a voice from down the hallway. “Phone!”
A phone call? Jennifer wondered who it could be.
“How are ya, my dear?” asked the familiar voice.
Jennifer wasn’t prepared to hear her mother-in-law At the same time, she wasn’t surprised.
“I’m okay,” Jennifer said.
“Would you like to go out for a bit of lunch?”
Jennifer agreed, even though she knew where this would lead. She also knew the police wanted her to stay away from Nelson.
She made the walk down to the local Chinese restaurant, where Jennifer sat down, and her mother-in-law began to tell her everything that had happened since she had left. How Nelson had missed her. She went on to say that she didn’t believe her son was capable of ever hurting her childr
en, and that Jennifer belonged back with her husband.
On the way back to the transition house, Jennifer wasn’t sure what to think. But in the end, she had agreed to meet Nelson. To talk.
They met at the local coffee shop, where Nelson wasted no time trying to assure Jennifer everything his mother had said was true. He loved those girls.
“Look at how hard the last few months have been,” he said to her. “You need to have your own place again. I still have the apartment. Come home.”
And as she had dozens of times before, Jennifer went home.
58
“The girls need a headstone for their graves,” Jennifer told Nelson. They were sitting in the car, and Jennifer had just spent the past hour fixing up the graves, placing new flowers and teddy bears. Nelson had waited in the car.
“We don’t have that kind of money,” he said.
“Well, why don’t we go away to work?” she asked. “The fish plant in PEI is hiring, and the pay is pretty good.”
It didn’t take long to convince Nelson to move. He felt like everyone was watching him these days, and he quickly agreed. But they weren’t able to leave as quickly as they would have liked. The first thing they needed was reliable transportation. For a few hundred bucks, they bought another car. It needed some work, but within a week it was registered and ready for the trip.
So the couple packed up their few belongings once again. They were making their second move to Prince Edward Island, but this time without the girls.
“How much money do you have for the trip?” Jennifer asked Nelson. “If there isn’t enough, we should go down to social services to make sure we can get some help once we get there.”
“I’ve got plenty of money,” he reassured her.
What Jennifer didn’t know was, even though he had enough to make it to Prince Edward Island, that was about the extent of his so-called wealth.
“You can both start tomorrow morning at six,” said Mr. Gillingham. He was the manager at the plant, and it was no time before he had hired them both. It was a busy time of year for lobster processing, and he assured them there’d be plenty of overtime.
Mr. Big Page 13