by Rosie Clarke
‘Yes, of course. Just sit her next to me.’
Jessie performed the necessary service, thinking it a good thing that Captain Kendle had considered it worthwhile to have modern plumbing for his staff as well as himself. She wouldn’t have fancied carrying the pot all the way out to a midden as they had had to do once upon a time.
Catherine had curled up as if ready to sleep when Jessie got back, and Nanny seemed content to have her there.
‘If you can cope with her for a little longer I could organise your lunch,’ she said. ‘But if you would rather I took her with me I will.’
‘She’s fast asleep, bless her,’ Nanny said. ‘As long as you’re not too long. I can’t run after her if she decides to get off the bed.’
‘Perhaps I’d better take her,’ Jessie said and lifted the sleeping child. Catherine didn’t stir. ‘I’ll ask Cook if Maggie can bring your tray up, but I want to make sure they are sending you something you can eat.’
She smiled at Nanny and went out, leaving the door slightly ajar. Catherine slept soundly as she carried her down the back stairs, but she stirred as they went into the kitchen, opening her eyes to look about her curiously.
‘Well, bless my soul,’ Cook said, looking very surprised. ‘Who have you brought to see us?’
‘This is Miss Catherine Kendle,’ Jessie said. ‘I wanted to ask what you were giving Nanny for lunch.’
‘I thought some chicken soup and bread and butter,’ Cook said and came to have a closer look at Catherine. ‘I don’t often get the chance to see her. This is the first time she’s been to the kitchen, isn’t it, my lovely.’
‘She might have slept if I’d left her with Nanny, but I didn’t want to chance it so I brought her here. Will Maggie take Nanny’s tray up? Once she’s well enough to keep an eye on Catherine I’ll do it but it’s awkward at the moment.’ She deposited Catherine in one of the grandfather chairs. ‘Can I have some milk for her?’
‘O’course you can,’ Cook said and went to fetch it from the cold pantry herself. She brought a mug back half filled with fresh milk. ‘There you are, my precious.’ She glanced at Jessie. ‘Will you have a cup of tea yourself?’
‘Yes, why not?’ Jessie said. ‘If I’m not in your way?’
‘Mrs Kendle is out to lunch today,’ Cook said. ‘Captain Kendle and Sir Joshua only require some cold chicken and mashed potatoes. Alice will ring when they’re ready. It’s just as well really, because I’ve got ahead with some of my work for the weekend. I like to prepare something fancy for them, they expect it.’
‘It’s a relief to you to get ahead, I’m sure,’ Jessie said and smiled as Cook poured them both a cup of tea.
Catherine was drinking her milk, looking about her with interest at all the things she had never seen before. She waved her free hand and chortled as Maggie came in, but didn’t say anything.
‘Yes, that’s Maggie,’ Jessie said, taking the empty mug from her hands. ‘You like Maggie, don’t you, Catherine? Can you say her name for me?’
‘Magg –i,’ Catherine said and chuckled at her own success.
‘Very good,’ Jessie said. ‘We shall have to see what more you can say if you try.’
She picked the child up again and looked at Cook.
‘Master Jack would like a kipper for breakfast tomorrow if you have one please, and we would like cold chicken and mashed potatoes for lunch in the nursery if there’s enough to spare.’
‘Will Miss Cathy eat it? She usually just has bread and jam or an egg. Nanny sometimes does her a little stewed fruit or mince.’
‘Then it’s time she tried something different,’ Jessie said. ‘We’ll all have the same and see how we get on, please.’
‘There’s plenty of chicken,’ Cook said. ‘I’ll send it up – but you’d better have some bread and butter too, just in case.’
Jessie took Catherine back to the nursery and changed her nappy, which had become wet while she was in the kitchen. She was just showing Catherine a storybook and telling her what all the pictures meant when Jack came in and stared at them.
‘That’s my book,’ he said. ‘Why are you showing it to Catherine?’
‘Because she likes it,’ Jessie said. ‘Do you mind sharing it with her? I couldn’t find a girl’s storybook.’
‘She hasn’t got any, only dolls,’ Jack said and shrugged. ‘I’m too old for that now. She can have it if she likes.’
‘Thank you, that is very generous of you.’
‘When can we see Nanny? You said we could.’
‘I’ll take you after you’ve had your lunch,’ Jessie said. ‘Did you have a lovely time on the farm?’
‘Father took me on his horse,’ Jack said, his face glowing. ‘He was in the war, you know, and very brave so Nanny says. I’m going to be brave when I grow up.’
‘I think you were brave to ride a horse,’ Jessie said. ‘That must be very frightening.’
‘It isn’t, it’s exciting,’ Jack said and then turned to look as Maggie brought their lunch in on a tray. ‘I’m not eating egg or mince.’
‘I ordered chicken and mashed potatoes,’ Jessie said. ‘Do you like chicken, Jack?’
‘As long as it isn’t all messed up in a mince with gravy,’ he said. ‘I don’t like gravy, but chicken is nice like this.’ He took a piece and ate it with his fingers, looking at her as if he expected to be reprimanded..
‘That’s good,’ Jessie said. ‘I like it very much. Shall we see if Catherine does, too?’ She took a piece from the dish and put it to the child’s lips. Catherine bit into it obediently, her enjoyment evident. ‘Yes, it is nice, isn’t it, darling?’
Jack had pulled a chair to the table and was eating his chicken with a fork now, though he didn’t eat much of the potato. Jessie let him have what he wanted, though she fed Catherine some of the mash, which she ate obediently.
‘I like you,’ Jack announced with his mouth full. ‘You’re not cross all the time.’
‘I like you too,’ Jessie said and smiled.
In fact she had fallen in love with both of the Kendle children.
‘Now eat a mouthful more of the mash and I think you will find there is strawberry jelly for afters.’ She was pleased to see that the mash went down in double quick time.
*
Catherine had a sleep after her lunch and Jessie read to Jack in the playroom while his sister slept next door. Afterwards, she took them both to see Nanny, who was sitting up enjoying a cup of tea and looking much better than she had that morning.
It was when she was on her way back to the nursery that she met Alice, who was frowning and clearly annoyed.
‘I’ve been searching for you all over,’ she said. ‘Madam wants to see you in the study and she’s on the warpath.’
‘The study – that’s where I spoke to her yesterday, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, and you’d best hurry up. She isn’t pleased about something.’
‘What about the children? I was just about to give them their tea and put them to bed.’
‘I’ll sit with them until you come – but don’t be long. I want my own tea before I get changed for the evening. I’m going out tonight, remember. I should have been finished half an hour ago!’
Jessie promised she would be as quick as she could and hurried into the main wing of the house. She wondered what had upset her employer, trying to think of something that she had done wrong without realising it.
As she approached the study she heard raised voices.
‘Well, you will be a fool if you make a fuss about it, Mary,’ Captain Kendle was saying. ‘What harm was done?’
‘None as it happens, but there might have been. I don’t want that child brought into the main wing while we have guests…’
‘You really are a heartless bitch,’ he said harshly. ‘You don’t care a scrap for Catherine, do you?’
‘I am not prepared to have my friends pity me because I have an idiot daughter,’ Mary Kendle replied. ‘I don’t mind
her being taken to Mother’s room when no one is here but…’
Jessie was so sickened by what she had overheard that she knocked on the door, wanting to shut off the sound of that cruel voice.
‘Come in!’ Mary Kendle turned to look at her as she entered. ‘I suppose you heard that? It’s just as well if you did. What on earth do you think you’ve been doing all day, running about with that child all over the place? First the garden, then Mother’s room and goodness knows where else!’
‘Catherine needs fresh air sometimes,’ Jessie said. She spoke out in her usual way, not angrily but not giving ground either. ‘It’s not good for her to stay in the nursery all the time. Lady Kendle said it was all right. She said I could take Catherine there whenever I liked. I didn’t know you wanted her hidden away.’
‘Well, really! I don’t know who you think you are, young woman, but…’
‘She is Catherine’s nurse and a big help to you,’ Captain Kendle reminded her with a warning glance. ‘Jessie didn’t mean to upset you, Mary – and she is quite right, Catherine does need to be taken out sometimes. Good God! Do you want to keep her a prisoner for the rest of her life?’
Mary looked at him, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. It was clear she had suddenly realised what a difficult position she would be in if Jessie left. She turned away, taking a cigarette from a silver box on the table and lighting it with a fancy silver table lighter. It was clear she was angry, but when she faced them again her temper was under control.
‘I prefer that you restrict Catherine’s fresh air to early in the morning, and any games are to be played well away from the front of the house. There is plenty of room in the kitchen garden or in the fields. I am sure you understand my feelings on this, Jessie?’
Jessie didn’t understand them at all. For two pins she would have given her notice in right then, but if she did there would be no one to look after Nanny or the children. Nanny might be sent to the Infirmary, and those children were in need of loving.
‘Yes, ma’am. I am sure I can manage to keep Catherine away from your friends while they are here.’
‘And I would rather you didn’t take her into Mother’s room.’
‘I think Mother would have something to say about that,’ Captain Kendle murmured softly. He hadn’t looked at Jessie and she dared not look at him.
‘For the next day or so. Just while my friends are here.’ Mary puffed nervously at her cigarette. Jessie guessed that Captain Kendle didn’t often put his foot down, but when he did she was forced to accept his word as law. ‘Do you understand me, Jessie?’
‘Yes, ma’am.’
‘Very well. You may go now.’
As Jessie was leaving she saw an elderly gentleman with silvery hair coming towards the study from the opposite direction. She thought he must be Sir Joshua. He was remarkably like his son, she thought. It was the first time she had seen him, and felt hesitant, wondering if she should greet him, but he went into the study without speaking or looking at her. She heard Mary greet him in an agitated voice.
‘Dearest Father,’ she cried. ‘You look wonderful. Do tell Harry he is a perfect beast to me…’
Jessie heard no more as she started down the back stairs towards the kitchen. If it weren’t for Nanny and the children she didn’t think she would want to stay in this house another night!
Chapter Six
Jessie calmed down as she gave the children their tea. She felt nervous about seeing Captain Kendle after hearing that argument in the study, but when he arrived he seemed to have forgotten about it.
‘Have you finished your sums?’ he asked his son, his eyes following Jessie as she picked up Catherine and took her to wash the strawberry jam from her face and hands. ‘Or have you been too busy?’
‘I did them while Jessie was showing Catherine my picture book.’
Jack fetched a small writing pad, displaying his work proudly. His father went over the sums, correcting one and explaining the mistake. He then set some more sums for Jack, but his attention was drawn to Jessie and his daughter once more.
‘What is this, Catherine?’ Jessie was asking as she pointed to a picture. ‘Do you know? It’s a cat. Can you say cat for me?’
Catherine was sucking her thumb. Jessie removed it from her mouth and she chuckled. ‘Cat for me,’ she said and promptly put her thumb back in her mouth.
‘That’s clever of Catherine,’ Jessie said. ‘Say cat, darling. Tell me again what’s in the picture.’
‘Cat,’ Catherine said and patted her face. ‘Jessie nice. Cat nice. Catherine want cat.’ She rubbed the picture with her chubby hand and chuckled again.
‘I think that is the most I’ve heard Catherine say in one go,’ Harry said and Jessie looked up, her heart jumping. She hadn’t realised that he was so near. ‘Will you put her down for a moment please? I would like to talk to you.’
Jessie obeyed and he glanced at his son, then back at her. ‘Could we go into the next room, Jessie?’
She understood. Jack already heard and understood more than was good for him. She followed Captain Kendle into what was meant to be a sitting room for the children’s nurse, and he closed the door behind them. The room was a little untidy, littered with Jack and Catherine’s things and Jessie apologised.
‘I haven’t had time to tidy up yet, sir.’
‘It doesn’t matter. First I want to apologise for what happened earlier. My wife cannot accept Catherine’s disability. She rejected her soon after she was born. When we realised… it may seem cruel to you but she cannot help her feelings.’
‘Catherine can’t help being as she is, sir.’ Jessie dared not look at him for fear of betraying her own feelings. ‘Besides, she is just a little slow. With patience she might be taught a lot of things.’
‘She will never be normal, Jessie. They told me she had been damaged at birth. She took too long in coming and they used forceps on her. Her twin had been born first and it is possible that she was starved of oxygen in the period between. I don’t think the doctors really know why, but the fact remains, she is retarded. My wife was also affected by the birth; she is often depressed, restless. She has never been quite the same since.’
‘I am sorry, sir. But Catherine understands more than you might imagine. I think I could teach her a lot of things.’
‘A few words perhaps,’ Harry said. ‘Believe me, Miss Hale, if I thought there was a chance I would move heaven and earth to give her what she needs.’
Jessie raised her head to look at him. His eyes had that haunted look she had seen once before and she knew that his anguish was genuine.
‘With care and attention she could have a better life, that’s all I’m saying, sir. It isn’t right just to give up on her because she’s slow. She may not be as bright as Jack but she deserves to be loved.’
‘Then I hope you will give her what she needs,’ he replied. ‘Are you comfortable here? Have you all you need?’
‘I am quite content, sir.’ Jessie hesitated, then, ‘I don’t know what is required of me in a situation like this. I may do things I shouldn’t, but I want to do what’s best for the children, Lady Kendle and Nanny.’
‘My wife was upset earlier. She has thought better of it now. You are to have a free hand with the children – but she would prefer that you keep Catherine away from her guests.’
‘Yes, sir. Of course I shall do as she asks.’
Harry ran a hand through his dark gold hair, his bluish-grey eyes intent on her face. ‘Even if it kills you?’
Jessie was shocked for a moment, then she caught a glint of humour in his eyes. ‘I’m afraid I was born stubborn, sir. It gets me into trouble and some would say I don’t know my place.’
‘Ah…’ A soft chuckle escaped him. ‘But what is your place, Miss Hale? I wonder if any of us know these days. We’ve all been turned topsy turvey as Nanny would say. It’s partly the war, partly that the world is changing, the old order tossed aside. The new thinking is tha
t we are all the same – that’s it, you know, equality for all. I am sure it will come when the Labour Party gets into power, and they will one day. I’m a radical; my father believes it and sometimes I do myself.’
‘I think you are teasing me, sir.’
‘Yes, perhaps I am, but you’ve made me laugh. You don’t realise what a miracle that is, of course. But I digress. My reason for this talk was not the state of the world but to ask about Nanny. Is she going to be all right?’
‘She seems to be getting better but she will need lots of rest. I am not sure that she will be able to return to her duties again.’
‘I wasn’t so concerned about that, rather what she wants. Will she be happy to stay on here as a dependent or should I find her a cottage on the estate? Would she be able to look after herself?’
‘You must ask her of course,’ Jessie said. ‘But I will give you my opinion. I think she would be better here. Nanny is part of the family. Even if she can only help a little she would prefer it. Besides, I don’t think she should live alone. If she were to have another stroke and lay all night without help she might die. There is a possibility that she might go and live with her sister in Torquay, but I’m not sure it’s what she wants – or that the offer is open to her now.’
‘I see. It may be best to do nothing for now. Thank you for putting my mind at rest. I’m afraid we’ve taken advantage of her, expected too much.’
‘Her experience will be a help to me while I learn to look after the children, sir. I can manage everything else myself.’
‘What a confident young woman you are, Miss Hale. It was our good fortune that you came to us.’
‘I shall do my best, sir.’
‘Then I shall not interfere,’ he said. ‘Good evening, Miss Hale.’
‘Good evening, sir.’
Jessie followed as he led the way back into the playroom. Jack was showing Catherine his picture book. He looked up as they entered.
‘Catherine can say dog now. I’ve taught her. Wasn’t that clever of me?’