He continued to stare at Agos. “It is what it is,” he said in a low voice. “In any case, that is not the issue right now, and will not be until this investigation is resolved—a thing I have no intention of carrying out until we’ve gotten rid of the Zarojo. How are we supposed to save him with no men, no army, behind us? They will not just let you take him away because you asked.”
“You forget I was Captain of the Oren-yaro Guard,” Agos said.
Rai fixed him with a glare. “I haven’t.”
Agos laughed. “Don’t give me attitude, princeling. I can snap your spine in half if I wanted to.”
“What are you thinking, Agos?”
“We can get into Oren-yaro through the sewers. They’re not protected, and I know a way to open them from the outside. Ozo taught me how.”
Rai cleared his throat. “Ozo trusted a cook’s son with knowledge of how to infiltrate Oren-yaro singlehandedly?”
“He trusted me to protect her,” Agos snapped.
“Protect,” Rai repeated. Even for Rai, the word was swathed in seething tones.
“Yes,” Agos said. “You know, that thing you haven’t done for her at all. Not that she’d need it, mind. Not from you.”
“This is ridiculous,” I broke in. “If we’re going to make it all the way to Oren-yaro in one piece, we need to stop arguing amongst ourselves.”
“You really intend on bringing him along?” Agos countered. “What for?”
“He’s an Ikessar. Once we’re inside Oren-yaro, we need to get into Oka Shto. Remember what I told you about the temple? He can walk through it uncontested.”
Agos snorted. “And what makes you think he’s even willing to do that much for you? Remember, it was his actions that got you here in the first place.”
I turned to Rai.
“He is right, as much as I hate to admit it,” he replied. “I cannot condone this.” He pulled away from me and walked towards where his sword lay. He bent over to pick it up.
Agos gave a triumphant grin at me. “Looks like it’s just going to be you and me again, Princess.”
“A hasty decision,” Rai said. “Not that I have ever been able to prevent you from making them. I am aware that you do not care for my opinions, but I shall give them to you anyway in the hopes you will someday learn: you let your heart sway you too easily.”
I took a deep breath. “It is still better than doing nothing, my lord. Better than letting myself be defeated in silence. Do you think the world stops because you want it to, Rayyel? That it slinks back to wait just because you’re not ready? This isn’t a situation you can just meditate away. No,” I continued, because he had started for the doorway. “Do that. Leave, just like you always do. We can’t even decide on a single thing without barking our heads off. No wonder the whole damn nation is falling apart.”
Rai paused long enough to make me wonder if he had at last come to his senses. I felt him scrabbling for an answer. Here we were, two pieces of a puzzle that no longer fit together—not that they ever did in the first place. The winds were changing in a way that had nothing to do with the monsoon. Eventually, he turned away. The promise of peace our marriage was to bring Jin-Sayeng was not just over—I knew now that it had never really existed at all.
Chapter Eleven
River Agos
It would have been better if Khine had been waiting for us when we returned to the inn. One less thing to worry about, one less distraction.
He wasn’t. I approached the innkeeper, hoping for news of him—for anything. I would have even welcomed an assassin or two, if it meant a chance to find out if he was still alive. But the innkeeper had seen nothing, and we were greeted with empty rooms. I lingered at the doorway to Khine’s, staring at his things. The memory of that kiss, mixed with yet another tense meeting with Rayyel, had created a fog over my head that I didn’t need.
I felt Agos’ hand on my shoulder. “We’ll save Thanh,” he murmured.
I pushed his fingers away. “Easier said than done.”
“I’ve secured passage on the river. Don’t think they’ll be everywhere at once. Dirty fishermen, screaming children, we’ll blend right in. Hey, look here…” He tried to draw my chin towards him.
I drew away in discomfort. “No, Agos,” I said. “I told you back in Kyo-orashi, didn’t I? What happened there with us—it’s not what you think it is.”
His eyes hardened. “It’s Rayyel, isn’t it? That damn worm’s slid his way back under your skin.”
“It’s not. But even if it is, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Maybe you should. Hell, Tali, six years isn’t enough? Are you going to give him more? Ten? Twenty? You’ll die a lonely old woman pining for your prince, when…”
“When you’re right there, is that what you’re going to say?”
He fell silent, his eyes searching.
“I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise, Agos,” I said. “I thought you understood the situation.”
“What’s there to understand?” Agos snorted. “Your lord rejects you, so you find some poor sop to make you feel better. Why else were you hanging around Lamang in the first place? But I’m easier, hey? I’m the safe bet. I don’t mind. Hell, the only reason I knew half of what you went through with your damn lord is because I have to go through it myself every time I look at you.”
Until Khine had spoken up, I had no idea how deep Agos’ feelings ran. I remembered everything that had happened in the theatre—the things Khine had told me about him, the family he was abandoning for me. A misstep. He wasn’t wrong about the things he had said.
“Agos…”
I think he saw the look on my face and what it meant. He scowled, turning his head to the side. “No, don’t worry. I’ll let you brood over it. Would rather you cried it out in my arms, but we all can’t have what we want now, can we?” He walked away.
I closed the door shut and crawled into bed. Khine had left his pack there, and although he hadn’t slept in the room at all, the sheets still smelled like him. I soon fell into a troubled sleep, plagued with dreams of all three men. And I didn’t know why, but it was Agos’ voice that cut the deepest.
I woke before dawn to get ready, still half-hoping to see Khine walk into the inn with a happy smile and a ready tale of how he led the assassin on a merry chase around Osahindo. But when we reached the main path, it was not his figure that emerged, wraith-like, from the fog to stare at us in silence.
“Rai,” I breathed. I think he had been waiting for us there the whole night.
Agos moved to draw his sword. I reached out to stop him.
“You are right,” Rai said, pressing his fingers over the bridge of his nose. “We have too many enemies. You, at least, are the one thing I’m sure of, despite…everything.” His eyes fell briefly on Agos.
I pulled my chin up. “You’re going to have to keep up with us.”
“No servants for your pampered ass here,” Agos added.
Rai ignored him and nodded towards me. “Once, I might have said the same about you.”
Agos laughed. “Call her a pampered ass? I dare you to try.”
“But I believe we are long past such labels,” Rai continued. “I may not approve of your methods, but I believe that perhaps, with the right counsel…”
We started walking past him. I heard him draw a long sigh before shuffling his feet after us.
Even though the sun was yet to rise, there was already a flurry of activity in the docks. Instabilities within the government did little to hamper the beat of everyday living. I heard snippets here and there while we waited for our fisherman, rumours traded between a turnip vendor and a waste collector. Lord General Ozo—Warlord Ozo, they all called him now—had moved his entire household to Oka Shto. The streets were swarming with soldiers from every region in search of me. It helped, I think, that they really didn’t know what I looked like, and that after a year of traipsing about in the world, I was indistinguishable from any commoner woman.
Rai seemed strangely attracted to all this talk, listening in with silent observation. As the vendors wandered away, pushing their creaky carts along the narrow street, I sat next to him. The bench was set up along the wall of a dock-side corner store and was so low I had to stretch my legs. “Look at us,” I murmured, using my finger to draw a streak of dust from my arm. “Some Dragonlords.” I fought against the urge to wipe it on his face. Khine might’ve laughed, but Rai found such antics far from amusing.
Rai grunted. “This is normal for me. You were the one who grew up in your palace. Princess, I think he still calls you.” He inclined his head towards where Agos was chatting with the fishermen by the water’s edge.
“Have you always thought I was spoiled?”
“I wouldn’t have said it like that.” But he glanced away, betraying his true thoughts.
“I’m not surprised,” I said. “I guess it looked like that to you from the beginning. Warlord Yeshin’s precious daughter, running around her pretty garden with servants and soldiers at her beck and call. You were a prince—I thought it was the same for you.”
“No. It wasn’t.”
“I know that now, too.” I exhaled. “These assumptions we’ve made about each other haven’t helped us at all.”
Rai didn’t reply. I wondered if it took a lot of effort for him to appear so expressionless. I knew now that he wasn’t as dead inside as he made himself seem.
“When we get to Thanh,” I ventured, “will you really let us just walk away? That’s not what you said before. ”
He paused, crossing his arms in front of him. “It pains me to admit that my judgment was clouded up until we had a chance to talk to each other on our way to that temple in Phurywa. I had time to think about things while I was ill. I have disagreed with much of the way you have acted over the years, but I realized we do have bigger concerns, and I have allowed my emotions to sway me.”
I stared at him. Emotions, indeed.
Rai cleared his throat and continued. “It is why I did not entirely support Inzali when she presented this idea of declaring your infidelity in front of the entire nation. Ironic, considering it was what I set out to do in the first place, but it was never my intention to hurt you.” He faltered, staring at the distance.
“Ironic, indeed,” I murmured. “I suppose the next time I need you to see sense, I should just try to drain half your blood first.”
“You love your son. I cannot fault that. It may not look like it, but I admire it, really. Would that mine cared half as much.” His jaw quivered slightly, a shift so subtle I would’ve missed it if I wasn’t paying attention.
“But you still don’t think he’s yours.”
Rai’s face tightened.
“We have to let this go, Rayyel.”
He said nothing. I caught him looking at Agos. “How much do you trust that man with what we are about to do? I feel as if his loyalty is questionable.”
“He has always been loyal to me, Rai.”
“Let me correct myself. His loyalty to the nation is questionable.”
“Maybe that doesn’t matter.”
“It matters,” Rai said. “A true, loyal servant to the Dragonthrone would’ve refused to sleep with you, even if you had ordered him to. A girl’s whimsy may be understandable, but he was a grown man when it happened. He shouldn’t have allowed it.”
“A girl’s…” I resisted the urge to hit him. We needed to learn to talk to each other without screaming our fool heads off.
“Consider how a moment’s decision has impacted our lives and the nation.”
I wanted to tell him that life, no matter how much you tried, was impacted by moment’s decisions. He had done the same thing. But I couldn’t find the right sort of words that I think he would’ve understood. And I had tried to, our whole marriage through. I fell silent as Agos returned to us. He looked conflicted. A thin man in a straw hat followed behind.
“We’re fucked,” Agos proclaimed.
Rai got up. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem,” Agos whistled. “Where to start?” He nudged the man. “You explain to them, Juresh.”
Juresh scowled. He was thin and dark, with white stubble all across his face. “Agos said you wanted to go straight to Oren-yaro. The entire city’s locked down, though. Word came this morning. No one gets in or out without a thorough inspection. They say it’ll take about a day for them to be finished, maybe more. I can’t do that—I’ve got fish to sell. They won’t last a day in this heat.”
“Why is the city locked down?” I asked.
“Orders from Warlord Ozo.”
“He’s really enjoying his cushy new job now, isn’t he?” I grumbled.
“You talk funny,” Juresh said. “What did you say your business was in there, Agos?”
“They’re wannabe merchants,” Agos said, spitting to the side. “Wouldn’t pay much attention to them if I were you. Bound for ruin, but they don’t pay me for my opinion, now. Tell them the rest, Juresh.”
“There’s Xiarans up in the city,” Juresh continued, turning his gaze towards me. “They brought news of Lady Talyien. Said she fell into a trap set by Lord Rayyel, and that it was only with the grace of the Esteemed Prince Yuebek that she was able to escape. She is on her way to Oren-yaro, they said, quite probably in disguise to prevent Lord Rayyel from capturing her. The lockdown is to make sure she is safely taken home before the other warlords get her.”
“Bastards, all of them, eh?” Agos said, drawing Juresh away. “Let’s talk about your payment.” They disappeared around the corner.
I felt my knees grow weak. “That Qun…” I said.
Rai swallowed. “Putting the blame on me to take wind out of my announcement…I’m curious to see how the council will respond to this.”
“You’re curious?” I asked. “Surely you can muster a more suitable reaction than that. Like outrage, maybe.”
“In any case, it is a remarkably foolhardy move, unless they have the numbers to back it up.”
“Yuebek claims to have thousands of men at his disposal. If he doesn’t get what he wants…
“We’ve not heard of these soldiers landing on our shores yet.”
“I suppose. We still have Qun to contend with.” Inwardly, I wondered why I didn’t kill the man when I had the chance. I should’ve gouged his eyes out the same day I killed his despicable wife.
Agos reappeared alone. “What do you make from all that?” he said. He glanced at Rai. “This is all your doing, you royal ass.”
“It is not mine,” Rai said, refusing to take his bait. “Warlord Yeshin planned this long before Lady Talyien was born. I wouldn’t be surprised if Lord General Ozo was involved from the beginning.”
“Warlord Ozo,” I breathed. “The Oren-yaro recognize him. I can’t believe they would set me aside that quickly.”
“You’ve been gone over a year,” Agos reminded me. “Not that quickly, if you ask me. And he was the next in line, if you don’t count Thanh, which your lords wouldn’t at a time like this. Too young. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s this slimy fuck in front of us.”
“You know how I feel about this whole thing, Agos, but even you have to admit you can’t put all of this on him,” I said. “And I know you favour Lord Ozo—”
“I don’t favour the man. But he’s not the kind of ambitious snake you’re implying he is. If anything, his only fault lies in believing whatever the hell the Zarojo are saying. Why shouldn’t he? The things he’s done—” He jerked a finger towards Rai. “Underhanded as fuck.”
“Let’s not do this,” I murmured. “We’ll attract attention.”
Agos took a deep breath. “There’s at least one thing we can do. I get Thanh out. You don’t show yourself at all. You’ll be falling into yet another one of Yuebek’s traps if you do.”
“I see. He wants to play hero too, doesn’t he?” Rai broke in.
“He’s not,” I bristled. “I can’t risk my son’s l
ife on a single man, no matter how much I trusted him.”
“You’re doing exactly what that Qun wants. Think about it. They can’t do a damn thing if you’re not around for Yuebek to marry now, can they?” Agos countered. “Let your little prince here worry about the rest of it, for once. Hey now, Lord Rayyel. Didn’t you always want to be king? Go, damn you! Proclaim yourself the one and only Dragonlord…it’s all yours for the taking! Maybe Yuebek will want to marry you for the throne then. Just leave her and Thanh out of this, all right?”
~~~
Agos’ sudden declaration left him panting. I reached out to wrap my hands around his arm.
“Leave it, Agos,” I murmured, trying to soften my voice.
“Don’t want to,” he grumbled. “He should know.”
“Know what?” Rayyel asked in a low voice. “That you’re as convinced her son is yours as I am that he is not mine?”
“It’s not like you want him,” Agos said. “Hell, it’s not like you wanted her either.”
“We’re not dogs,” I replied. “Nobody gets to decide who we belong to.”
“But I am, right?” Agos fumed. “I’m the bloody dog, curled up over your legs, keeping you warm, licking your damn boots every time you so much as looked at me. And fuck me if I don’t fall for it every time.” His hands were curled into fists. Before I could say a word, he tore himself away from me and thundered back down to the boats.
I sucked in a quick breath of exasperation.
“He’s unhinged,” Rai observed.
“We all are,” I sighed.
“He adored your son,” Rai suddenly said, as if drawing from memory. “When Thanh was born, he doted on him. Worshipped him, almost. When the boy was learning to walk, he would take him down to the garden with Thanh’s hands around his fingers.”
The same memory flashed in my mind. I recalled Rai looking oddly discomfited whenever Agos would request to take Thanh for a stroll through the gardens, or to switch shifts with Thanh’s personal guard whenever he was off-duty. He was a trusted soldier and Rai had not seen a reason to deny him. I didn’t, either. We were a family in Oka Shto—a strange little one, now that I looked back. And I think, for a while, we were happy.
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