by Violet Duke
âActually, it was great. I had a lot of friends and tons of fun. Although I always felt that I was a bit of an oddball too, in the sense of my family.â I pause and take a breath. âOr, now that I think about it, maybe they just made me feel like an oddball. Nothing I ever did was good enough, and if my mom and dad couldnât understand something about me, theyâd chalk it up to me being strange. I remember one time, I must have been about fourteen, and Fran and I had gone to the mall with Franâs mom to buy some new clothes for school. Fran helped me pick out a new blouse that was bright and colorful with tiny butterflies. I loved it the minute I saw it. Thereâs something about butterflies, you know,â I say as I stare out at the lake, âtheyâre free. Anyway, the next morning when I came down for breakfast, my mother took one look at the shirt and told me I had to change. She said, âyouâre fourteen years-old, Gabby, and youâre wearing the shirt of a seven year-old. Go and change. You donât want people thinking youâre weird, do you?â I sat on my bed and cried, then reluctantly put on another shirt and went to school.â
Bradâs eyes meet mine and I feel a hand reaching out to touch my heart. âDo you still have the shirt?â
âYup. I put my butterfly shirt in a big keepsake box I kept hidden in my closet. No one was going to take my butterflies away from me.â
Throughout dinner, Brad never lets go of my hand. When we finish, I look over at him and his eyes are alight with excitement. Itâs most certainly contagious. Thereâs no way Iâm ready for this date to end. He helps me from the table and we make our way through the restaurant until weâre outside again.
Looking over at him with a broad smile, I quietly ask, âso, what now?â
Brads face beams. âWeâre going to Top of the Rock.â
âTop of the Rock? Whatâs that?â
His brown eyes grow large. âYou live in New York City and you donât know what Top of the Rock is?â He pulls me along. âItâs an Art Deco skyscraper forming the center of Rockefeller Center, and itâs very cool. I think itâs like 800 feet above street level. The view is amazing.â
Apparently, itâs about two miles from the park, but instead of driving, we take a gypsy cab, where you can negotiate a price and itâs a steal at four dollars. When we get there, we step onto the elevator and the first thing I notice is a transparent ceiling leading to the wide open sky. As we rise, different colored lights are popping all around us. Once we finally reach the platform, I realize that Bradâs description couldnât have been more accurate. Iâm rendered utterly speechless. Colored lights twinkle from various buildings and thereâs a clear view of stars that sprinkle the night sky. Thereâs the Brooklyn Bridge, the Empire State Building, Central Park, and the Hudson and East Rivers. You can see it all. I look over at Brad, whoâs waiting on my reaction. âWow. Itâs just exquisite.â
Brad takes a deep breath. âIt is, isnât it?â
I lean against him, my back to his chest, and he rests his chin on my head. I feel a strange sense of calm. He laces his fingers through mine and we walk around the platform a bit, enjoying the view, until something catches his eye. When I look over to see what it is, I notice thereâs a plaque attached to a long piece of rock that reads This is a good kiss spot.
Catching me by surprise, Brad grabs me and pulls me close. He threads his arms around the curve of my shoulders, causing my heart to pitter-patter wildly and my breath to come in giant gusts. His breath is blowing on my lips like a soft breeze as he whispers, âIâve been wondering something all night.â My eyes go wide. âHave you ever been kissed by a superhero before?â My mouth wonât move, so I simply shake my head back and forth. His eyes are burning up my lips as he breathes, âbecause youâve never been truly kissed until youâve been kissed by a superhero.â
With a small gasp and a hoarse voice, I strangle out a reply. âWill it be life-changing?â
He dangles his lips over mine. âOh yes, life as you know it will never be the same.â
My heart slams against my chest as his mouth claims mine. His lips are warm and soft, his tongue gliding across my bottom lip, caressing and teasing before sliding inside. The taste of him awakens my senses. I feel his breath whisper to me as he continues to explore my mouth, the wetness of our tongues soaking each other and twirling about like vines dancing in the wind. I reach up and slide my hands behind his neck, the strands of his soft, silky hair tickling the space between my fingers as his arms encircle my waist to deepen the kiss. When we finally pull apart, breathless, he leans his forehead against mine.
âIâve been waiting my whole life for your kiss.â
My pulse skyrockets at his words and Iâm not sure what possesses me, but I pull his mouth to mine again. Sucking his bottom lip softly, my tongue traces the outline of his lips before realizing weâre in public and pulling away. With Bradâs hand in mine, we make our way over to view the lights of the Empire State Building. He stands behind me again and wraps his arms around my waist; I lean my head back against his shoulder and he dips down to place a soft kiss to my temple. I could get used to this.
Itâs getting late. The stars in the night sky and the darkness tell us that itâs time to head home, though I can smell the hesitancy in the air. After what seems like hours of enjoying the view, the silence, and the feeling of his arms around me, Brad puts his arm around my shoulder and leads us down.
Weâre both quiet as we make our way back to the car. Iâm so happy I feel like tiny bright stars are surrounding my heart. But itâs not the stars, itâs Brad. My mind is soaking him in. Heâs incredibly endearing and I feel so lucky when I think about the hordes of women who flow in and out of his shop every day that would kneel at his feet. For some reason, he chose me. The thought makes me smile.
Brad opens the door and helps me in. Just before he starts the car, he leans in, lifts my chin, and gently brushes his lips against mine. His mouth lingers, leaving me wanting more. A lot more. Then, flashing that dimpled smile Iâve grown to love, he starts the engine and we head back.
James Taylorâs voice croons softly, singing about smiling faces, fire & rain, and being the only one. With my head back on the seat and my hand in Bradâs, I feel a wonderful sense of peace, like this is where Iâm meant to be. We ride in comfortable silence back to my apartment. Brad puts the car in park and comes around to open my door, ever the gentleman. I find myself fumbling with my fingers and staring nervously at my toes.
He gently places his hands on either side of my cheeks and lifts my eyes to his. âI had a wonderful time tonight, Gabby. Thank you.â His gaze is so intense it makes me want to look away, but I canât.
I look deep into his eyes. âI did, too.â
He stares down at my mouth and then slowly presses his lips to mine. My lips part, and our tongues tangle ever so briefly before he pulls away. âGoodnight, sweet Gabby.â
âGoodnight.â
I run into the apartment, anxious to tell Fran all about my night. I drop my purse to the ground and sprint down our tiny hallway, pushing through her door. I use her bed as a trampoline until she bolts upright and I realize sheâs not alone. Rubbing her eyes furiously, she points to the spot next to her.
I see Kyleâs honey blonde hair poking out from the blanket. âGosh, Fran, Iâm so sorry!â
âShhhhâ¦itâs okay,â she whispers. âLetâs go in the other room.â
âSorry, Kyle,â I hiss, scampering into the kitchen.
She pours a glass of water, then sits down, pawing at her eyes furiously to try and wake up. âSo, spill it, sister, how was the date?â
âIt was amazing Fran. I feel like Iâm walking on clouds.â Iâm pretty sure I have a ridiculous grin plastered to
my face and Iâm giddily rocking back and forth on my heels. If Kyle wasnât sleeping, Iâd be squealing like a teenager right now.
Fran looks at me with raised eyebrows and a cunning smile. âSo, did you kiss?â
My face comes alive. âYup.â
âAnd…â
âHmmmâ¦â I stare dreamily into space, recalling the strength of his arms and the softness of his lips.
âYouâre holding back on me! What was it like? I want details!â
âIt was hot.â
âYeah?â She smiles eagerly and gives me a tiny swat on the arm. âCome on, tell me!â
I sigh. âBut it was also sweet, and sexy, and tender.â Another sigh escapes. âAndâ¦romantic.â
âWhoaâ¦seriously?â
âI donât know, Fran. I was so nervous. I wasnât sure what to expect because Bradâs so unassuming. But the way he kissed me was anything but unassuming.â
Fran smiles confidently. âI knew there was a tiger behind that dimple.â
I twirl my hair around my finger. âWell, Iâm going to bed now.â
âGee, thanks a lot. Now that you woke me up and made me all flustered.â
âSo go wake up Kyle. Iâm sure he can help you out with that.â I giggle and practically float down the hall to my room.
âGoodnight, Fran.â
âGoodnight, sweetie.â
I pull on my sweatpants and a soft cotton tank and climb into bed feeling hyper. So much so that I just canât get to sleep. I keep replaying the kiss over and over in my head. The kiss that made my heart dance. My phone buzzes and snaps me from my train of thought. Itâs Brad. Sigh.
Brad: You still awake?
Me: Yeah
Brad: I canât sleep
Me: Me neither
Brad: I wish I hadnât left
Me: Me too
Brad: Your kiss made my heart flutter
Did he seriously just say that? I feel a squeal coming on.
Me: Mine is still fluttering
Brad: Goodnight Gabby
Me: Goodnight
With that, I fall into a peaceful sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ITâS MONDAY, AND it doesnât suck anymore. I wake up to the sound of heavy raindrops pounding on my windows. I love the rain. I love the sound of it, the feel of it as it falls lazily onto my skin, theâ¦my alarm goes off, but I smack it silent, allowing myself to drift back to last nightâ¦to Brad. Just thinking about him makes my insides melt. He completely dazzled me and I feel as though Iâve fallen under his spell. My phone buzzes and I grab it quickly, thinking it might be him. As soon as I see Daneâs name appear on the screen, my smile disappears. Dragging this out is only going to make things worse, so I reluctantly accept the call.
âHello,â I say with the lack of enthusiasm I feel.
âHey, Gabby, itâs Dane.â His voice sounds a bit apprehensive and Iâm wondering if he can read my thoughts. âI thought I was going to hear from you yesterday?â
âYeah, sorry about that. Fran and I just hung out and relaxed.â
âI was wondering if I could see you tonight?â His tone sounds a bit more desperate now that I think about it, and it puts me on edge. Itâs a familiar feeling with Dane.
âYeah, we really need to talk,â I reply with determination, dragging myself off the bed and rifling through my closet.
âCan you meet me in my room at seven oâclock?â
Thereâs no way thatâs happening. âLetâs meet in the lobby restaurant,â I say casually.
âOh, okay. Iâll see you then.â
âSee you later, Dane.â
Ugh. I dread tonight. I donât want to hurt Dane, but I just donât feel anything for him, which sounds weird, even for me. I actually want to feel something. I mean, the sex is incredible, yes, but itâs just not enough anymore. Shaking off my nerves, I quickly hop in the shower so I have time for my caffeine fixâ¦and my Brad fix.
Everything looks so much brighter today. The rain has cleared and the sky is a magnificent cobalt blue, the clouds look like puffy white marshmallows, and Iâm happy. Not the fake, suck-it-up-and-put-a-smile-on-your-face-happy. Really happy. For the first time in a long time.
The only thing that makes me happier is when I hear my favorite door jingle and see Brad. The moment his eyes meet mine, I see the sunshine in his smile and it lights me up inside. He leaves the counter and comes right over, his lips landing softly on mine. âGood morning, beautiful.â
âGood morning, yourself,â I reply, my entire face beaming.
âDo you do realize this is a first for us?â
âA first?â I answer with a confused grin.
âOur first kiss in my shop.â
âOh, that, yes.â I chuckle softly. âWell, Iâll cross that off my list.â
âI was on your list?â Thereâs a smile in his voice.
âWell, yes, but I didnât know it.â
Grabbing my elbow, he escorts me to a table and goes to make my drink. Heâs back in a flash, taking a seat beside me and handing me my Salted Caramel Mocha, extra whipped cream. âSo, I was thinking maybe we could catch a movie tonight?â
I pick at my fingernails and look down. âI canât tonight, actually. I have something I have to do. Listen, I want to be honest with you. Iâm seeing Dane tonight.â A frown spreads across his face and my heart sinks. Feeling the need to immediately make it right, I continue. âItâs not a date. Really, itâs not. Iâm only meeting him tonight to tell him that I canât see him anymore.â
Bradâs mouth shows a hint of a smile. âReally?â
*
MY ANXIETY KICKS in as I make my way to Daneâs hotel. I donât like confrontation and I donât want to hurt him, but the need to be honest outweighs it. The irony of this whole situation makes me laugh. When I first saw Dane that day on the street, all I could think about was how his hot body would feel underneath me. If Iâm honest, it was freaking amazing. At least thatâs what my body said; my head just couldnât catch up. Iâve tried to keep living on the edge; Iâve tried to be the one with no emotion. But when I think of Brad, thatâs the only thing I want. I want emotion. I want to feel. Everything about him draws me in, and I find myself wanting more. Definitely more kissing, at least.
My body starts to heat just thinking about Bradâs soft lips and his strong, muscular arms. Shaking off the feeling, I head in to face Dane. When I see him in the lobby, my heart stops for a moment, for no other reason than the fact that heâs drop dead gorgeous. Itâs hard not to notice him. The moment his emerald eyes meet mine, guilt consumes me. When I reach him, he comes closer to kiss my lips, and I offer him my cheek instead. His forehead wrinkles in confusion, which intensifies my need to get to the point.
âGabby, Iâve missed you. I thought we had such a good time together and then suddenly you pulled back. Did I do something wrong?â
âWhy do you keep asking me that?â I ask, completely irritated.
He crosses his arms over his muscular chest. âI donât know, Gabby. Maybe because you keep disappearing.â
I pull my thoughts together and take a deep breath. âDane, youâre a great guy. Iâve really enjoyed our time together, and the sex was great.â He furrows his brow, but I continue. âBut, whatever this is weâre doing, I just donât see it going anywhere.â
Before I can say anything else, Dane chimes in. âI think youâre lying to yourself, Gabby. Your body gave you away. I know you have feelings for me. Maybe youâre scared, but whatever we have here is worth exploring, donât you think?â
>
My eyes meet his. âNo, Dane, I donât. We had sex, nothing more.â
Without hesitation, he says, âI donât believe you.â
My feet are tiptoeing backwards when they need to be running full speed ahead. âDane, Iâm interested in someone else. Very interested in someone else.â
Heâs just about to say something when he glances over my shoulder. His eyes grow wide and his face turns pale. When I look over my shoulder, I see a leggy blonde with blue eyes and a body to die for, heading towards Dane. Everything that happens next is almost as if Iâm watching a movie play out in front of me. She runs up to Dane, throws her arms around his neck, and kisses him passionately. When she finally takes a breath, I hear her whisper, âhey, sexy, I missed you.â What the hell?
Feeling the need to pick up my mouth off the floor and control the anger that is bubbling inside, I take a calming breath. âArenât you going to introduce me to your friend, Dane?â
Without hesitation, the woman whips her head around and extends her hand to me. âIâm Susan, Daneâs fiancée.â
I passed my hearing test with flying colors, so Iâm pretty sure thereâs no mistaking what she said. My anger bubble pops. âHis fiancée?!â I practically shout, pure contempt drenching my voice. With a look of absolute horror, Dane starts to speak but I cut him off. âWell, I certainly wish you two the very best of everything.â The desire to spit on him almost overtakes me but I donât want to ruin my new shoes. Instead, I turn on my heel and head towards the door.
I rush down the street to the subway, wanting to kick every brick wall I can find. It all makes sense to me now; the brief periods of not hearing from him, the mysterious phone calls. Even though I didnât want anything more from Dane, the simple fact that he could screw me while he was engaged to someone else is patheticâ¦and mess around on his fiancée, the bastard. Not to mention, he told me he wanted more. The word âassholeâ keeps playing over and over in my mind. Heâs lucky I donât go back and kick his ass. I just keep shaking my head. Unbelievable; he had sex with me while he was engaged to be married. If that doesnât shout jerkoff, I donât know what does.