by Tara Brown
I walked out of the room and the receptionist walked in and locked my locker.
“Take the elevators at the end of the hall, report to the desk on the fifth floor.” She was beyond perky it was a little annoying. I felt like I was meeting Snow White at Disneyland but maybe forty years later.
The elevators were huge, big enough for a few gurneys at a time. I didn’t really know where to go when the elevator stopped on her floor; I poked my head out and looked both ways. It was like The Shining, both sides of the hallway were the same, long corridors with doors. I walked out and picked left. I walked till I reached a set of doors that looked more like the doors to a surgery ward. I turned around to see a man in the hallway; I was scared at first till I saw he was much older and dark skinned. He had thick lips that maintained their thickness even through his smile.
“Can I help you?” He asked with a thick English accent.
I nodded, “I took the wrong turn off the elevator I think. I’m lost. I need to find the reception desk.”
He laughed, “Yes it’s a right not a left love. Back about three corners.”
I nodded, “Thanks.”
He smiled and went through the big doors.
I walked back to the elevators and within a few seconds of passing them I could hear the reception area.
There were five nurses in a room made entirely of glass with a window for me to speak through.
The nurse at the opening was not as perky as the lady down stairs, she raised an eyebrow at me, and apparently that was a question.
“I’m looking for room five twelve. Giselle Benoit.” I nearly stuttered she was so awful looking.
She pointed down the hall I had not walked down yet, “That way. You only have an hour before its time to go. Sign in here.”
She pointed to a big sheet of paper in front of me. I filled out my line and left.
The corridor was long but this time it was loud, kids watching TV and playing in their rooms. My heart was broken when I saw some of the little kids through the doors, one girl was about five and she walked like a ninety year old, bent over and hurt. I felt my eyes filling with tears and made a mental note never to become a pediatric doctor.
Giselle’s room was the last door before the hall took a corner; I knocked lightly hoping she was awake.
“Giselle, you here?” I asked poking my head in.
“OMG Aimee, what took so long? It’s been like three weeks and I am dying in here. It’s so boring.” She nearly squealed as I entered smiling.
She was lying on her bed with a light on but the curtains were closed making it dim.
I walked up hugging her, she smelled funny like sickness. She gripped me so tightly I could barely breathe.
She let go finally and smiled brightly but I could see through the façade, she was very sick still. Her eyes were yellowish and her skin seemed more Asian looking than it ever had, Giselle was going into liver failure. I didn’t know what to say so I ignored it and decided she would tell me if she wanted to.
I sat in the chair in her room, “So did you hear?”
Giselle nodded, “Yeah it’s all over Facebook already. So he followed you into the woods, what the hell were you doing in the woods alone retard?”
I laughed, “Easy with words like that, you’re in a hospital, say Hamtard. I made the word up for Alise, she says the other one all the time.”
Giselle laughed, “Yeah I guess they’re retarded kids here.”
I shook my head feeling like I was in the room with one, “Yeah but we call them mentally challenged. No one who is mentally challenged would ever be called that word Giselle. Anyway I wanted to find him. I know ghosts aren’t real but I just couldn’t find that guy from the party anywhere and the only place I’ve ever seen him was at Shane’s house.”
She cut me off, “What is going on with you and Shane.”
I sighed, “Giselle you’re focusing on the wrong part of the story. Nothing is going on. He’s just a friend besides he dated Alise.”
Giselle made a face, I laughed at her.
I continued, “Anyway I can’t stop thinking about this guy and I wanted to find him so bad I went to Shane’s and waited in the woods. I hid basically at the base of a tree in the bushes. I really thought he would just be walking through the woods but instead the other guy followed me there. He’s a creep. The guy in my memory or dream rather isn’t the guy from the woods.”
Giselle frowned at me, “You really have the worst taste in guys. First you like Blake, blech, and then this crazy stalker who tries to kill us and all the while Shane is in front of you and you feel nothing more than friendly love.”
I smiled at her, “It’s not the same guy I swear. What did the doctor say?”
She shook her head, “I can’t seem to shake it. My bile ducts aren’t healing or something. I am pretty much screwed Aims. I think the doctors are talking a donor list.”
I felt sick for her, “What about your parents?”
She sniffed slightly fighting the tears, “My mom came back. I guess she and my dad haven’t been in love for a long time. So she decided to Internet date and met some guy. She brought him here. She’s living in the city with him.” Her face filled with shame as mine filled with shock and disgust.
I gasped, “Internet guy?”
She nodded, “Yeah it was weird. Creepy bastard, he patted my leg all high up on the thigh and said he always wanted a daughter. I actually threw up on him.” She burst out laughing.
“Oh my god your mom has met a ped on the Internet. Giselle I’m thinking we need a young priest and an old priest.”
Giselle laughed, “I have no idea what you’re talking about but I know right.”
“It’s from the exorcist. I mean I think we're cursed. At least you barfed on him, what a nasty pig.” I rubbed my eyes laughing still.
“God is mad at us for something Aims cause this has been the worst year of my life.” She was still laughing but I would swear I heard a sob.
I agreed shivering, “Yes it has. The cop who was with my mom while she died is the corporal on our case. I can tell he wants to talk to me.”
Giselle shivered, “Oh that’s too creepy. Don’t they get transferred out ever?”
I shook my head, “I think we are a five year detachment. He’s got like three more years.”
“I think I’m going to die Aimee, I’m scared.” Her words were a whisper hanging in the air stopping my breath. I nodded, “I’m scared too.”
The moment was fleeting.
Then like the master of her emotions she was she started chatting about the mundane again. The words still hung in the air like a bad cloud about to pour down on us but we chose not to look up. Regardless of the fact we both knew it was impending doom we fought against it with gossip and giggles.
I told her I needed a dress for spring formal next week. It made her misty eyed as she told me to take the dress she had bought, someone should get some use out of it. I tried to argue but it was no use, she wanted me to wear it and I told her I would be honored. For some strange reason I loved this girl, with all of my heart. She was the sister I should have had. We lay on her bed together talking and feeling the need for hope in our despair filled voices.
“If I grow up and marry a rich man like I plan to I’m totally making him donate all his money to this place.” She giggled but I knew better than to see anything beyond the IF in the story.
I sat in the cafeteria afterward waiting for my dad to pick me up, I had stayed as long as I could with Giselle but I could tell she was exhausted from my visit and the hateful nurse had made me leave. I was lost in thought trying desperately to get a handle on my misplaced emotions when I saw him. He was sitting at the cafeteria; he was sipping tea and reading a newspaper.
I felt my heart skip a beat as my stomach lurched forward. Not knowing what was going on my feet stood and started to walk toward him. He didn’t look up from his paper, he seemed lost in something. When I got closer I realized it wasn’
t him. The man sitting there looked at me like I was crazy, “Are you done with that paper?” I asked brazenly. He shook his head and went back to reading but kept one eye on me.
I wanted to see him, for some unknown reason my heart told me this mystery man was not the rapist and that there were in fact two mystery men in my life. I started to self-diagnose, the untimely death of my mom mixed with unrequited love and graduation being a few months away and my last summer home was making me the classic case for depression or anxiety.
I walked back to my table to see my dad walking in looking puzzled. I shrugged and walked over to meet him and go back to our hotel.
Looking back at the man with the paper I realized he didn’t look anything like the guy I had stuck in my head. I was officially starting to hallucinate now.
“Hungry kiddo?” He asked as he put an arm around my shoulders.
“No I want to go to bed. Giselle’s mom is dating an Internet pervert; he’s an actual ped. Do you think we’re cursed dad?”
He shook his head, “I’m starting to wonder.” His response floored me, my dad was a man of science but even he was starting to become concerned about our little town.
The drive home the next day was not nearly as painful, I slept the whole time. I had been so exhausted from the previous day.
I awoke to my phone making a ping; a text message had come in. I reached into my pocket and grabbed the phone to see a message from Shane,
‘Hurry home, I’m getting lonely.’
I looked around at the gas station seeing we were halfway home. I could see my dad inside paying for the gas and no doubt getting snacks.
I messaged him back,
‘Giselle is sick, very sick.’
My phone rang, “Hello.”
Shane’s voice sounded concerned, “What do you mean?”
“She’s dying. Liver failure. Shane I can't take it.”
He sighed, “Oh my god. What can we do?”
“She needs a donor oh and if her mom comes back to our town we need that guy she’s dating gone. He’s a ped. He touched Giselle really high up on the thigh and said he always wanted a daughter.”
“Are you kidding? Ok I will talk to the guys. I’m pretty sure we can get him outta here. But I don’t think her moms coming back dude. That’s sick. She is on her death bed and he’s trying to touch her?” Shane’s voice was full of rage but I could tell he was trying to stay calm hearing the hopelessness in mine.
“Yeah. I’ll be there in three hours.” There was silence on his end, I waited for him to speak and looked at my phone thinking I had lost the signal when he spoke again rapidly.
“I like you Aimee, I can’t stop myself. I’m trying to just be your friend but you’re perfect and I can’t fight it anymore.” The words were everything I had ever wanted to hear.
The phone was silent again as I held my breath not sure how to respond. “Ok. Uhm maybe we should talk about this later.” My heart was skipping beats and my head was dizzy.
“Okay, I just wanted you to know. I’m falling for you.” He went silent after his declaration. I could tell this was hard for him too.
I wanted to respond with a thank you god or please don’t move from where you are I’ll be right there but I held my breath and then almost shouted, “Ok so I will see you in a few hours.”
“Drive safe.” He hung up. I sat there staring ahead at the van in front of us at the pump, I didn’t know what to say.
I started my list of pros and cons and then I phoned Giselle.
“Hello.” Her voice was raspy.
“Shane just told me he likes me.”
She squealed into the phone, “Yayyyyyyy. Okay I need to hear every detail word for word skip nothing.”
I told her exactly everything he told me word for word to which she responded with omg's and seriously and I knew it. Her advice wasn’t exactly sage wisdom, “I think you should just do it. You should date him and have sex with him. Your sister never did hey. She never got him into bed.”
Suddenly Shane was dirty again, my sister dated him what was I thinking.
“Okay look I gotta go Aims I’m super tired out, they took more blood this morning and I’m beat. I’ll see you in a few weeks cool?”
I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, “Yeah for sure. Dad and I will be back don’t worry.”
“Peace out.” She clicked off and I was alone again. I had officially lost control of my emotions. I looked to the sky, well roof of the truck, “Mom I need you.”
Chapter Five - I AM A RATIONAL HUMAN BEING
I walked into the library where I’d asked my dad to drop me off after the long drive and thankfully I felt the outside world leave me alone as I caught the first scent of the books. I loved the smell of books but even more I loved getting lost in them. If there ever was a time in my life I needed to get lost in books it was that moment. I didn’t know what to do about Shane or Giselle or the stalker. It was too much excitement for how sick I was starting to feel again. I worried about my own liver nearly as much as I worried about Giselles’.
I smiled at the librarian, “Hey Mary.”
She waved slightly not really letting her eyes leave the stacks she was checking, “Aimee it’s been forever. You still have that book out on ancient medicinal practices?”
I laughed, “Yeah I need it for a few more weeks I will resign it out today.”
“Good enough for me.” She walked over to her card catalogue.
Our library was tiny with little or no technology ever making its way through the front doors, partly from lack of funding but partly because it wasn’t needed, Mary remembered every book that left.
I made my way to the history section and sat on the floor touching the spines of the books, feeling the history flow from them to me. My mom had taught me to love and respect history, especially art which was a visual documentation of history. Every aspect of a civilizations time, whether it was education, religion or science was documented in art. Even the cave painting taught us something about the people of its time.
“Can I just slip past you there?” I knew his voice straightaway. It was like my favorite song, I loved the sound immediately upon hearing it.
Afraid I would be disappointed to find someone else yet again I looked up to see his smiling face and I felt myself beam, “It’s you.”
He frowned looking incredibly disappointed, “Sorry have we met?”
He was exactly as I remembered, very tall, strong looking, dark blond hair cut short and the whitest blue eyes I had ever seen.
“You saved my life. I remember you. I was choking.” The words flew from my mouth as the memories flooded my brain. I looked at his sizable hands and remembered them inside my mouth. I shuddered a little at the thought, “I was on the floor turning blue and you picked the vomit out of my mouth.”
He started to laugh, instantly I loved that sound, it was strong but filled with joy, “I’m really sorry miss but I think you’re mistaken. I just need a book from where you’re sitting.”
I put a hand on the bookshelf to help myself stand and winced slightly as I stood up.
“No it’s true, I saw you?” I couldn’t stop staring into his eyes.
He smiled, as I felt compelled to step closer to him and smell him, I knew he would smell familiar like fresh ocean air but more intense like incense. I didn’t know how I knew what he would smell like, he was supposed to be a ghost.
“Look I am really sorry but I have never met you in my life. I think you’re confused.” He looked at me sternly like he was trying to intimidate me into believing what my soul knew to be a lie.
I was nervous in the smallest doubting part of my mind that he could be the rapist still but somehow I knew his face better than I knew my own and his lips were not thin they were perfectly plump, my favorite kind.
“I’m Aimee.” I put a hand out for him to take. He hesitated and sighed like he didn’t want to touch me. I wanted it so badly that when he even considered putting a hand out
I grabbed it and shook his hand. For me it was as if our skin melted into each other’s for a split second. Touching him was like watching a scene from a movie where the main characters realize they’re madly in love and stare at each other while the world spins past them. I was excited by the feel of his skin it meant he was real. He looked to be in pain the entire time touching me; my heart was broken watching his response to touching me. Clearly the affection was one sided.
“It’s nice meeting you, uhhh-” I waited for him to answer his name.
He sighed, “Aleksander. My name is Aleksander.”
“Aleksander, that’s a nice name.” I almost whispered my sentence. His eyes flinched hearing me speak his name.