by Tara Brown
I nodded, “Better thanks. Is her room this way?” I asked pointing up the stairs to the left.
He nodded, “First door on the right. Everything is the same as it was before she got sick. I haven’t been able to go in there.”
I turned to smile at him I saw the way he was looking at me and I felt dirty suddenly. Like the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing was a bikini.
I turned and walked up the stairs very quickly, I didn’t have the energy to run away from him but I did my best. My heart was pounding and I thought about Aleks suddenly. I needed Aleks. I got to the top of the stairs and entered her room. Her dad never followed me but I closed her door anyway.
Her room was just like Alise’s, a mess. There were clothes and shoes on the floor with makeup all over a dressing table and her bedding was all over her bed.
I walked to her closet and found the dress, it was in a dress bag. I didn’t even worry about what it looked like. I saw papers on her floor in her closet. It was stationary with handwriting.
I crouched down trying not to get dizzy and see stars as I looked closely at the letters. They were all written to Giselle but not signed. I stuffed them in the dress bag and headed out of the room. Her dad was at the bottom of the stairs, “Wanna stay for a drink?” He asked trying to smile. I nearly threw up in my mouth.
“No thanks sir my sister is waiting for me. Thanks though.” I turned and ran out of the door.
I got back to the car and got in quickly, exhausted from the energy I had just put out and winded from exerting myself so much.
My sister looked at me worried, “Did he touch you?”
I shook my head and breathed heavily, “No he is just so creepy though.”
My sister put the car in reverse and sped from the driveway, “Yeah tell me about it.” Her eyes said a lot more than she was willing to share.
Suddenly she snapped out of her thoughts, “So you got the dress?”
I nodded, “And something else. Look at these.” I unzipped the bag and pulled the letters out.
“Have your seen these before?” I held out the papers.
My sister looked at the stationary, “Yeah Giselle was getting letters for a while last fall, they were from a secret admirer. No biggie.”
I pulled out the one that had caught my eye in the pile at Giselle’s and held it up, “Did you ever read them?”
She shook her head, “We glanced at them but they were so stupid, all romantic and quotes from Shakespeare and crap.”
I read out loud, “Giselle my summer rose, your lips will shine for me, glisten with my name upon them, I will bring you to ecstasy with a drop of my aphrodisiacs, you'll moan my name and ride my-” I stopped and looked at my sister frowning, “This is disgusting. Giselle didn’t have a clue who it was?”
She shrugged driving us back home to get the dress fittings started.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the million texts Giselle had sent me. It was pages of new texts, she went from excited to completely desperate. Guilt flooded me seeing the anxiety in my friends’ words.
I pressed talk and waited for the cell to ring.
“Hello.” Her voice was so weak it sickened me.
I closed my eyes fighting back tears, “Hey.”
“Dude where have you been?” Her weakened words cut me deeply.
“I’m so sorry. I slept through the last five days. I just couldn’t seem to shake it. How’s it going there? Your dad said something about a donor.”
I could hear her shallow breath in the phone as she tried to talk, “Yeah I hear the final verdict tomorrow I think. Right now they’re just trying to get me through the days. My dad was the only match in my family but his liver is damaged from all the drinking. I think he feels pretty bad.” I cringed, how could he not feel bad. His daughter was dying and it was all his fault.
“I am coming to see you this weekend, liver or no liver I will be there this weekend but right now I need to ask you a question and its going to sound awful but just look past my snooping.”
“Okay, I’m not too worried about you and snooping though to be honest.”
I sighed, “I went to your place to get the dress and when I was there I looked in the closet and found the secret admirer letters you got last summer. I have been looking them over and I think the person who sent them poisoned us. But I need to know who you think it was.” I waited in silence for her to tell me to eff off and hang up.
“I don’t know. They just kept showing up in my locker. I guess I always thought it was Tommy. I assumed he had a crush on me and he always got such good grades in English even though he comes off as a hamtard.”
I burst out laughing, “See how easy it is to use that word. Okay so Tommy gets good grade in English? Did he hit on you?”
My sister who was listening in rolled her eyes at me as she pulled into our driveway, “Who hasn’t he hit on? He’s a pig.”
I nodded imagining him being smart enough to drug someone and plan it out. I had a hard time seeing this in my head.
“Okay well you think about the letters for the next little bit as much as you can and I will see if I can get some dirt on Tommy. I’ll get Alise to help me, she is good with dirty boys.” I smiled at my sister who flashed me a grin and turned off the car.
“Okay well I will text you if I think of anything but I’m telling you if I don’t get a response I’m coming for you James, I am coming for you.”
The thought of that made me smile, “Deal but I will answer anything you send.”
She hung up the phone no doubt from loss of strength, I couldn’t believe how weak she had gotten. I looked at my sister as we sat together in the driveway feeling not only bleak about Giselle but also confused about the drugging pervert.
“It can’t be Tommy. I mean it could be but I just can’t see him being smart enough.” I spoke breaking the silence.
My sister nodded, “Yeah he’s a goof. He’s a perve but more of a harmless perve. Trust me I went there once, he was very sweet and almost grateful. It was creepy in a he’s not as dirty as he seems sort of way.”
I frowned at her, “You had sex with him?”
She frowned back, “At least I know what sex is you’re like a Mormon. No booze, no smoking, no drugs, no sex. Do you even drink coffee?”
I laughed shaking my head, “Not really, every now and then I have some espresso. I don’t like to put that much strain on my adrenal glands.”
She rolled her eyes, “Oh well yes, I forgot about that nasty little side effect. Lets go see if the dress fits Cinderella.”
I got out of the car looking around, wondering where Aleks was.
As Alise and I got into the house we heard a mans' voice talking to our dad. I knew that voice immediately but instead of smiling like I normally would I cringed. I was still so confused and Shane deserved so much better than second place in my heart.
“Shane what are you doing here?” My sister asked smiling at him and my dad having what seemed to be an afternoon tea. I walked into the house fully and raised an eyebrow at them.
My dad started laughing, “They make the same faces, do you see it son?”
Shane laughed nodding, “That is funny. Grey blue eyes and silver eyes making the same expression. I was hoping you were feeling better.” He spoke to me now smiling the biggest grin I’d ever seen on anyone’s face. The excitement in his eyes melted my heart, “Is that your dress? Are we actually going still?” His eyes were so hopeful I couldn’t even imagine saying no. “Yes. I’m feeling a lot better.” It was still a lie but I had been out of bed for the whole day so it must have been true somehow. I could have fallen asleep standing but my mind was reeling with all of the things it had learned or at least attempted to learn in such a small amount of time.
Shane smiled huge lunging at me and picking me up. He hugged me tightly, “I’ll be back in a couple hours to get you.”
With that he ran out the door excited. I closed off my heart to Aleks and let Shane in
, it was the right choice I was excited and tired of the tennis match going on inside of me.
I sat in my room staring at the letters, I knew the writing from somewhere but I couldn’t place it. It reminded me of Blake but when I thought about Blake and his chicken scratch and shook my head. I knew it was a word search I needed to walk away from it and eventually the word would come to me.
Chapter Ten - HAPPINESS IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
The dress fit like a glove, Giselle and I were apparently the exact same size, it was an aqua colored dress that from the back looked floor length but it went from short in the front to long in the back gradually as it wrapped around me. The top was like a tight corset with the fabric folded vertically but fastened tightly to the dress. It had an empire waist with a large amount of the fabric pulled into a sweep making it look like a belt and it went all the way around the dress making up the small amount of back I had covered. It was strapless and the skirt of the dress was layers of free slowing rippling fabric. There was a huge oval broach under my right breast that was silver and sparkled from the fake diamonds.
I shook my head in amazement as my sister smiled brightly, “You look hot.”
My sister pulled a pair of sparkling silver pumps from her closet and put them in front of me. I stepped into them and marveled at how I looked. I pulled my blond slightly wavy hair out of its usual ponytail and shook my head to release the thick locks.
Alise clapped, “Dad you have to see this.”
“You even look a little tanned, have you been tanning?” She asked looking me up and down as I gave her my, remember who you are talking to look.
Alise raised her hands defensively, “I was just thinking you seem a bit tanned.”
I nodded contemplating it, I did look a bit tanned, “You know its probably just a little of the jaundice left over from the poison.”
My dad came into the room and his eyebrows raised in stunned, shocked, awe.
“Oh my goodness Aimee, Alise did you do this?” His voice was a whisper not accusingly at all.
Alise shook her head, “No this is all Aimee, and there isn’t even any makeup yet.” She took a black and aqua colored bracelet that dangled and hung it off my left wrist. She smiled at me in the mirror and I looked to see my dads’ eyes mist over. My sisters’ eyes were not long behind him, which made my eyes start to water.
My dad wrapped his arms around us both and began to sob. He held us and hugged tight with shaking arms.
I felt myself losing my control as I joined what was left of our small family in a moment of sorrow. I felt the warm wind suddenly. I looked up knowing it was my mom watching down on this moment. My skin shivered slightly as I let my face burrow into my dads shoulder.
He pulled away after a few moments and nodded, “You look beautiful and if your mom were here she would make me tell you so.” He walked from the room heartbroken.
Alise walked into her bathroom and started to wash her face to get ready for the big night.
“Thanks Alise, I’m going to try my own makeup this time. I think I’m getting the hang of this girlie business.”
She laughed at me from the bathroom, “Yeah right. Well if you mess it up I’m right here.”
I closed her bedroom door feeling more in love with my family than I ever had. I knew in that moment we were going to be okay, my dad had muttered the words, ‘if your mom were here’ for the first time and we had all lived. We’d cried together, we’d grieved together and it seemed we’d finally reached the point we could heal together.
I closed my door and sat at the chair looking at myself. I was pretty, this had never happened to me before. Even with the red dress I had still some how looked like me but in this dress I was someone else and I liked it.
I started to repeat the same thing Giselle had told me to do. I made my color choices to match the dress’s accessories. I did my eyes with silver and grey. My eyes had flecks of both green and blue in them so the silver made them sparkle. I did my lips with a soft coral cause I figured aqua and corral were both from the sea so it must match. I pulled the top of my hair into a high half ponytail and teased my waves into soft curls with mousse. I spritzed myself with a honey vanilla my mom had always worn.
I stood up adding a little gloss and looked at the final product.
Suddenly the warm wind blew in my window and Aleks stood there smiling at me from the far side of my room. My heart leapt seeing him smile at me but instantly I knew.
“You’re the warm wind.” It was a statement not a question.
He never opened his mouth to argue but I could see the truth in his eyes.
“I hate you.”
The words left my mouth before I could stop myself. I wanted to cry but I knew with that much makeup on it would be a disaster and I was fairly done with him impacting my life.
He stepped toward me to explain but I put my arms up, “No you let me pretend you were my mom. How could you do it? I believed she was there with me. I believed all of my moms love and intention was in that wind and instead it was you.”
He shook his head obviously ashamed of himself, “It’s just what happens when I move. You assumed it was your mom. You needed her still and she was gone so I let you believe she was still here. I should have told you and I’m sorry but in my defense you should never have known about me. When you were better and your family was healed I would have vanished taking that wind with me and you would have been at peace knowing she was in heaven.”
I felt betrayed and disgusted. I knew the common sense in what he was saying was there somewhere but I didn't want to acknowledge it. Instead I thought about the millions of private things I had told him thinking he was my mom. I felt the intrusion into my soul most grievously.
He ignored my arms and walked to me pulling me into him. He held me for a moment talking softly, “Aimee I need you to try to not focus on hating me just yet. We need to focus on the thing we’ve both dreaded, I have to leave tonight.”
I wanted to cry in frustration, he was like a roller coaster ride for my heart. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath letting my head rule in the final verdict over what my response would be.
“You’re going to ruin my makeup and this is my first time doing it on my own which sounds ridiculous and I know that. I need you to try to wait till the end of my night before ruining it.”
I hated him for hurting me but I wanted him to love me and stay with me forever all in the same moment.
He nodded and pulled back to look at me, “You are the most beautiful girl in the world.”
I smiled at him feeling like smashing things over his head and kissing him afterward.
His eyes grew dangerously intense, “Are you going with him still?”
I nodded leaving it at that.
His eyes narrowed again and he pressed his lips together tight to avoid anymore problems, “You go and have a great night. I will see you after the dance okay.” He looked dark and serious, “Stay at his side the entire night Aimee.”
I frowned, “Why would you ask that?”
He nodded, “I will explain everything tonight before I leave but promise me you will stay by Shane’s’ side all night long.”
I agreed, “Fine. Since we are talking about the drugging rapist of doom will you tell me one thing, are the letters from him?”
He frowned, “What letters?”
I picked the letter up on my dressing table I had been reading, “These letters.”
He read it and shook his head, “I don’t know. It sounds pretty creepy.” He tilted his head slightly, “You know I’m not psychic right.”
I laughed, “I just thought you might know.”
He rubbed his hands on my bare arms warming me from the inside. I had been feeling weak and exhausted until he touched me. Suddenly I was refreshed.
He bent down and kissed my lips softly, brushing them lightly but the goop on my lips trapped him and he allowed himself to be stuck to my mouth. His hands went down my bareback
sending chills up my spine. They roamed my dress landing on my butt and pulling me up into his arms. I kissed him back wildly pulling at his shoulders.
He pulled away covered in lipstick and gloss. He winced when he saw my makeup. I threw him a look of displeasure but laughed at the ridiculous amount of lipstick he was suddenly wearing.
I turned away from him to clean my face off but when I turned back to talk to him he was gone and a cool one coming in the window replaced the warm wind.
I moaned as I sat back down to fix my face. He never seemed to make my thoughts and decisions easier.