She blinked and wiped away tears, upset with herself for not being as in tune with his feelings and needs as he was with hers. He anticipated her every whim and considered every emotion she felt, yet she’d been blind to one of his primary desires for nine months.
An apology danced on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it down. He didn’t want her guilt. He wanted her commitment, and no one else on earth was more deserving of her devotion.
“Okay,” she agreed, taking his hand. “I’ll settle in with you. I’ll help you make this a forever home, no matter what the future holds.”
He linked his fingers with hers. “Promise?”
“Yes. But you’ve already done most the work.”
“If you’re not willing to leave your mark on this house, I’ll do it for you.”
“I’ll help,” she assured, and she meant it. She’d start by hanging more pictures of Katherine and her kids. “I didn’t realize you were waiting. You never said anything.”
“I was trying to be patient and let you settle in on your own time, but we have a family now, and that family needs a home.”
“You’re right. I love how this house reflects my parents’ personalities. I want the same for our kids.”
“And for us, Layla. We’re coming back. This won’t be our last Christmas in this house.”
She smiled, knowing he yearned for her agreement, but her hopes weren’t as high as his. Logic and the ever-growing ache in her chest painted a forlorn picture of a bitter end. “For us,” she repeated.
He recognized her doubts, but he didn’t point them out. Following a kiss to her forehead, he cuddled her into a hug and let her return her gaze to the moon.
Chapter Eleven
The day after Christmas was a lazy affair in Quin and Layla’s forever home. Benzio played with the presents he’d received; Quin refused to discuss business of any sort, turning away Drexel and postponing a finance meeting with Caitrin; and Layla was free to nap, nurse and write letters.
Following a casual supper of pizza in the living room, Benzio dove into a plate of cookies, and Layla fed the triplets while watching Quin frame a few childhood photos she’d pulled from storage.
“I think I’ll take piano lessons next,” she decided, glancing at the family portrait she and Morrigan painted. “What do you think?”
Quin smiled as his aura brightened. “I think Morrigan will be so thrilled she’ll cry. I bet your skill surpasses mine in a matter of weeks.”
“Who taught you?”
“Morrigan, but I didn’t take lessons. She plays for all the kids, and I spent almost as much time with her as I did my own grandma. She’d sit me on the bench next to her and amaze me with something difficult. Then she’d play something simple so I could follow along. I’d learned pretty much everything I know about the piano by the time I was ten.”
“Who taught you how to play the guitar?”
“My dad, but again, I didn’t take lessons. I just watched him play. He learned what he knows from watching my grandpa Lann, who learned by watching my grandpa Cat. None of us are experts, but give a magician an instrument, the basics, and an hour, and they’ll play you a tune.”
“Did you take lessons for anything growing up?”
“No.”
“Did you commit yourself to anything?”
“Beyond my coven, magic and career, no.”
“Why?”
He flipped his gaze up, as if stunned by the question. Then he finished framing a photo from Layla’s sixteenth birthday and placed it on a side table. “Because nothing seemed important. I played a lot of hockey and participated in bonded child competitions, but I usually didn’t care if I won, so I never devoted myself to practicing. I had better things on my mind.”
“Like what? Work?”
“Sure,” he laughed.
Her mouth fell open. “Are you talking about witches?”
“One witch, Layla. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”
“Oh.” She tried to stifle a smug smile, torn between being happy she took precedence in his life long before she showed up, and being sad he was so busy thinking about her he missed out on other opportunities.
“I’ve led a blessed life,” he assured, watching the air around her. “Just because I didn’t throw myself into any hobbies as a teenager doesn’t mean I was bored or neglected.”
“That makes me feel better.”
“Good.” He grabbed another photo and frame. Then he put them together while watching Benzio dig through a stack of books. “Looks like I’ll be reading soon.”
Layla smiled at the toddler, her heart warmed by the bond he was forming with Quin. “Have you read them all?”
“Multiple times.”
“We’ll have to get more.”
The front door opened, and Aradia’s bright aura filled the foyer. She greeted everyone as she entered the living room, and Quin pointed at her while speaking to Layla. “She can help with the books.”
Aradia ruffled Benzio’s hair on her way to the sofa. “What books?”
“Children’s books,” Layla explained. “We need more. Let Quin give you money. Next time you go to work, pick out some new reading material for Benz.”
“Sounds fun,” Aradia agreed. “But didn’t he get a bunch of books for Christmas?”
Quin laughed while floating a stack of bills to Aradia. “We’ve already read them. Get a few chapter books. Maybe that will slow us down.”
Aradia grabbed the cash from the air and flipped through it. “This is too much. Bann doesn’t charge coven members full price.”
Layla covered Aradia’s hand and urged her to put away the cash. “Don’t argue money with Quin. It’s pointless. He has too much and cares too little. Buy yourself something if you have extra.”
“I’ll give it to Bann,” she conceded. “He loaned me money for Christmas, but he won’t take it out of my income. Not that I’d rather owe you two, but—”
“You don’t owe us,” Quin interrupted. “I’m sure Bann feels the same. This coven has plenty of money, and you contribute as much as anyone. We won’t leave one of our own with nothing when we have so much.”
“See?” Layla smirked. “I know how you’re feeling, Aradia. I’ve been there. Outside this community, money seems to rule the world, so it’s a heavy and sensitive subject, but its value is lost on this family. They earn a lot and spend very little, so it doesn’t hurt them to give it away.”
“But you and Quin don’t work.”
“That’s true. We haven’t worked in over nine months, yet he was still able to pass you a stack of cash without blinking an eye. What does that tell you?”
“That he made a lot of money when he worked?”
“Exactly. Money is the least of our problems, and we don’t want it to be one of yours, so if you ever need it, please ask.”
“I’ll take that into consideration. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Are we still on for our girl talk?”
“Oh, yeah,” Layla remembered. “As soon as I’m done nursing.” She looked to Quin for help. “Will you take the kids while we visit?”
“Sure,” he agreed, letting Benzio sit on his lap with a book.
Aradia relaxed into her seat, smiling while watching Quin read. Then she helped Layla switch out babies. “He’s a great dad,” she whispered, patting Lilyana’s back.
“Yes, he is,” Layla returned. “It’s lovely and maddening all at once.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s better with our kids than I am.”
Quin smiled, proving he could hear them, but the story continued without a hitch.
“I think you’re really good with them,” Aradia offered. “If I ever become a mom, I hope I’m like you.”
“That’s sweet,” Layla replied. “Do you want kids?”
“I like them, but I don’t think I should have one. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but definitely not now. I need to figure o
ut how to take care of myself before I can take care of a baby.”
“That’s smart, but I think you’ll figure it out no matter when it happens. That’s what moms do.”
Layla finished nursing while Quin finished reading. Then he gathered his sleepy triplets and promised Benzio a bath in exchange for his patience. The toddler eagerly led the way down the hall, and Layla and Aradia settled in for a long session of girl talk.
Layla missed Quin and her kids the whole time, but the visit was her idea, and Aradia deserved her support, so she summoned a cup of coffee and made herself pay attention. Not that she was a lot of help. She had little experience to draw from or advice to offer, but in the end, Aradia appreciated simply having a friend to talk to about her new world.
When they finally stood and stretched, it was after ten. “Are you going back over to Bann’s?” Layla asked.
Aradia checked the time and shook her head. “Our sleepover was great, but I’m not ready to make a habit of it.”
Layla laughed as they walked down the hallway. “Wizard cuddles are addictive. I fell asleep in Quin’s arms the night after I met him, and from that moment on, I was hooked.” She halted at her bedroom door, anxious to slip inside. “If you want to talk again, just let me know.”
“I will. Goodnight.”
Layla waved then entered her bedroom, finding the kids asleep and Quin sitting in one of the armchairs, leaning over a stack of papers.
He glanced at her and smiled. “How was your chat?”
“I had a cup of coffee,” she confessed.
He raised an eyebrow while shuffling through his work. “Feeling the caffeine?”
“A little. Or maybe it’s the result of her fussing with my aura.” She crossed the room and sat on his armrest. “What are you doing?”
“Going over some paperwork my dad sent over. He and Caitrin offered to file our taxes.”
“Taxes,” she laughed. “What an oddly normal thing to do. I thought you weren’t working today.”
“You were busy, and the kids were asleep. I had time to spare.”
He continued scanning the papers, so she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and played with his hair. “I have a question.”
“Ask away, my love.”
“You’ve taken a girl’s virginity, right?”
His forehead furrowed as he abandoned his paperwork and leaned back. Then he searched her eyes and aura for several seconds before confirming what he’d told her in the past. “Once. It wasn’t an experience I cared to repeat… unless it was with you.”
She straightened as her train of thought jumped the tracks. “Did you hope I’d be a virgin?”
“No.” He pulled her onto his lap and tucked her into his arm. “Nor did I hope you wouldn’t be. I just hoped for your return, a chance to know you. My fantasies were never dulled by speculations about your sex life or a lack thereof. I would have pursued you either way.”
“Good to know, but if I could go back and save my virginity for you, I would. The experience wasn’t worth it.”
“I’m honored, but there are silver linings in almost every experience if you look hard enough. What’s-his-name was given a chance to prove he’s the world’s biggest dumbass, and you were able to move on without wondering what might have been.”
She giggled while resting her cheek on his bicep. “You know his name.”
“World’s biggest dumbass suits him better.”
“He can’t begin to compare to you. The competition is too lopsided.”
“I suppose it is.” He gave her a squeeze and tapped her nose. “Your turn. Do you wish I’d been a virgin?”
“No. I hate the thought of you with other women, but I love what you learned from being with them. I’m awkward enough for both of us.”
“You are not,” he laughed.
“I was,” she countered. “I’ve gotten better, but when I met you, I was in no position to break in a virgin.”
“We would have made it work. There was no keeping us apart.”
“That’s true.”
“But I love how it worked out. I wouldn’t change a thing about it.”
“Me neither.”
“Then our previous sexual encounters are irrelevant, and we can drop this subject forever.”
“Okay,” she agreed, charmed by his charisma and soothed by his warmth, but then her brain hopped back on track. “No, wait, that’s not why I brought it up.”
“Brought what up?”
“You taking a girl’s virginity.”
“We’re returning to that?”
“Yes, please.”
He took a deep breath then sighed it out. “Okay, but I don’t understand why you’d want details.”
“I don’t. This isn’t about us. It’s about what you know… concerning women.”
“Women or virgins? Because my experience with the latter isn’t anything to boast about.”
“What do you mean?”
“Now you’re getting into the details.”
“Then be vague.”
He grimaced while rubbing his jaw. Then he filled his lungs and gave it a shot. “There’s a reason I’ve only been with one. I wasn’t willing to commit, and most girls don’t want to give their virginity to a guy who will leave as soon as it’s over.”
“But you found one who didn’t care?”
“I found a girl who claimed she didn’t care, but I still managed to hurt her feelings. I can only assume she thought the sex would be so good I’d want to do it again.”
“Was it good?”
“It was… unremarkable.”
“Did you do it differently since she was a virgin?”
“I took it into account.”
“How?”
“I tried to ease her pain.”
“Did you ease her nerves?”
“They weren’t a factor. She approached me for sex and didn’t hesitate to follow through.”
Layla huffed as her shoulders fell. “Then this doesn’t help at all.”
“What are you trying to achieve, my love?”
She ignored the question and countered with another. “Do you think Banning has experience with virgins?”
Quin relaxed as comprehension washed over him. “I’m sure, but I’m also sure they were nothing like Aradia, so his experience won’t help him.”
“Has he talked to you about her?”
“Not lately. He seems to have everything under control.”
“He’s sweeping her off her feet.”
“She deserves it.”
“She definitely deserves it, and she wants it, but she’s scared.”
“Is he rushing her?”
“No. He’s been a perfect gentleman.”
“Then you’ll have to explain the issue.”
“Hormones. She wants it. Her body is telling her it’s right, but experience tells her it’s hell. She wants Bann’s touch, but she’s afraid of the consequences, and not just the physical consequences, the emotional and mental repercussions. She fears every aspect, every result and every step it will take to get there, and not only does she fear his reactions, she fears her own. She’s worried she’ll clam up or freak out or break down, and no matter how much Banning reassures her, she knows she’s trying his patience, so she doesn’t want to add strain on their relationship by leading him on when she doubts her ability to follow through.”
Quin raised his eyebrows while considering the situation. “Did she tell you all that?”
“Some of it, but I did a lot of reading between the lines.”
“Has she had the same talk with Banning?”
“Not quite. He knows she’s afraid, but I doubt he’s aware of all her fears, and he has no clue how badly she wants to overcome them. She keeps her desires a secret, because she’s scared and ashamed of them. She could barely confess them to me, and she merely scraped the surface, but I see what she’s denying. He’s wearing her down. As soon as he got her comfortable with his hands, he worked h
er into hugs and kisses and aura cleansings. Now they’re making out daily and having sleepovers. She slept in his arms Christmas Eve, but they haven’t seen each other naked, and their hands haven’t roamed very far. No boob play or butt squeezing or anything like that.”
“Really? That’s a little surprising.”
“It sounds torturous. Remember what it was like when we shared a bed and made out but weren’t having sex? Every touch made me want more. I can’t imagine letting that build for more than a month.”
“Bann’s probably wound up, but he’s obviously willing to wait, and I’m sure he’s taking care of himself.”
“How would he… oh… right.”
Quin quietly laughed and summoned the papers from the table, laying all but the top sheet on her lap. Then he scanned the one in his hand while smelling her hair. “Do you want me to talk to Bann?”
“Would you? Just make sure he’s prepared, you know? Don’t give away Aradia’s secrets, but make sure he can handle them. You were so considerate and patient with me in the beginning I know Bann could learn something from you. Plus he doesn’t have his dad anymore. He needs someone he can turn to for advice.”
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
“Thank you. Are these papers something I can help with?”
“No. They’re for work. I’m almost done. Your grandpa is on his way over to pick them up. He has a few questions for us.”
“Caitrin?”
“Yeah.” He kissed her head then gathered the papers off her lap. “Let’s go talk to him in the living room.”
They checked on the kids before leaving the room, and Arabella tagged along, hopping onto Layla’s lap the moment she sat on the sofa. Quin sat beside them to sign off on his work, and as he tossed the pen aside, Caitrin walked in.
“Kids asleep?” he asked, shocked by their empty arms.
“Yeah,” Quin answered, handing over the papers.
The Servant Page 17