by Nana Malone
“That was...” Willa looked up at him with a lavish grin. “That was something.”
“Something?” He smiled back at her, then led her away from the wall and to his bedroom, finally feeling a little bit of balance in his unbalanced world. He hadn’t lied to her when he told her focusing on work was hard because thoughts of her kept popping into his mind. Thoughts of him undressing her, thoughts of her pretty lips pressed against his, thoughts of him waking up beside her. His boss wanted him to fly back last night, to be there when the senator gave his press conference, but he refused. Virginia had been a very good friend to him all these years and he didn’t want to disappoint her. But more than that, he didn’t want to leave Costa Rica, because he didn’t want to leave Willa. And he knew if he flew home yesterday he might not ever see her again.
It was a risk he couldn’t take.
They were both still dressed and she stood before him, like a present that needed to be unwrapped. He could have just lifted the dress up over her head, but that would have been too quick, so he slid the straps down her arms, revealing her slowly. Her bra was baby-doll pink today and so sexy against her pretty brown skin. He couldn’t help but to kiss her collarbone, the top of her cleavage, her beating heart.
“You really like to take your time undressing me, don’t you?”
“You’re sexy,” he said, smoothing his hands over her hips as her dress hit the floor. “I can’t wait till winter. Just thinking of peeling you out of extra clothing makes my mouth water.”
She looked up at him in surprise, her mouth dropping open as if she was going to say something, but she didn’t. She just leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
“I ripped your underwear.” He kissed her neck as he unhooked her bra.
“That’s okay.” She shut her eyes and tilted her head back to give him further access to her neck. “I think every woman needs to have a beautiful man tear her clothes at least once.”
“You think I’m beautiful?” He slipped her ripped underwear off her body and then knelt before her to take off her shoes.
“I’m a woman of discerning tastes. You don’t actually think I would sleep with somebody ugly.”
He gently pushed her onto the bed. “That’s not true. I saw a picture of your last boyfriend.”
She gasped. “He had inner beauty. I didn’t mind that he wore braces at thirty and was a little shorter than me. How did you see my last boyfriend, anyway?”
He stripped off his clothes, past ready to feel her nude body against his. She watched his movements with a little spark in her eye and it managed to turn him on even more. “I work in DC. I had him checked out.”
“You didn’t!”
“I didn’t. Virginia showed me a picture of you two at Comic-Con on her phone. I didn’t know you were into that stuff.”
“I’m not. I was being supportive. Why did Gin show you my picture?”
“Because I asked about you.” He climbed into bed beside her, pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her. “She told me she wished you’d stop dating dweebs.”
“I hadn’t realized you two were so close.”
“Asa and Gin are family to me. I spend a lot of holidays with them. I always hoped I would run into you when I was there, but since your folks moved south you don’t spend time in Jersey anymore.”
“No. It makes me sad. Even though I was a little bit of an outcast, I loved growing up there.”
“I did, too. I was mad as hell at first that my mother sent me there, but I ended up loving it. Being there shaped the man I became.”
“You gave up football,” she said absently as she rested her head on his chest. “Are you happy you did? Are you happy with the way your life turned out?”
“I didn’t love football as much as you think. I’ve had a good life.”
“But are you happy?”
He smoothed her curls out of her face, looking into her wide brown eyes. “Right now I am.”
“I want you to be happy, Marc.” She climbed on top of him, straddling his forming erection, and bent to kiss his chest. “This feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Us?” He pulled her down to kiss her lips. “It does. It feels really good.” She rubbed against him, causing him to go fully erect.
He kissed her slowly. “I’ll be good to you this time. Wil, I won’t hurt you again.”
“Hurt me again? What are you talking about?”
“Things will be crazy the next few weeks at work, but I want you to come down to DC and spend some time with me.”
She looked shocked, but he couldn’t understand why she was so surprised by his request. He knew she had feelings for him. He could see it in the way she looked at him and feel it in the way she touched him. They had something special before and he threw it away. He wasn’t going to make that mistake twice. “Marc...”
“This is good, Willa. Me and you are good together. I haven’t felt like this with anybody else, and you can’t look me in the eye and tell me it’s not the same for you.”
She looked helpless for a moment. “Of course this feels good. Of course no one else has ever made me feel the way you do. There is no other you. You were my first love and part of me is always going to love you. But this was never supposed to be permanent, or lasting. This was just supposed to be...” She shook her head, clearly flustered. “I don’t know what it was supposed to be, but I have my life in New York and you have yours in Washington. And we’re here in paradise and everything feels different and romantic and perfect, but who’s to say things will stay like that? Your work takes you away for days, and I write. And I wear sweats and don’t comb my hair for days while I’m on a deadline. I’ll be in my head. And I’ll ignore you. Things won’t be perfect then. We won’t be in paradise and we won’t feel the same way. And I want to leave here feeling this way, remembering how happy I was with you this week.”
“You’re so convinced that we are going to fail that you aren’t even willing to try.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I loved you so much, but we were kids then. And our lives are totally different. We had a good week. It won’t be this good when we go back to real life. You probably won’t even think about me when you’re back in DC.”
“Damn it, Wil, I haven’t ever stopped thinking about you. You don’t get to tell me what’s going on in my head.”
“You’ll try. We’ll both try, but it won’t work and I can’t get over you twice. Please, don’t ask me to.” She kissed him slowly, softly, and he could feel her love in this kiss. She didn’t have to tell him because he already knew, but he was so damn mad at her for not wanting to try. “Kiss me.” She opened her eyes to look at him. “Kiss me back.”
He didn’t want to. She wouldn’t meet him halfway. Every relationship he had, every woman he was with, he had compared to her. He couldn’t recapture the feelings he had with her and knew he never would be able to.
“Marcus, please.” She kissed him again, more deeply if that was possible. “Kiss me back. Make me feel good. Love me one more time.” He broke, then.
Love her one more time? He had never stopped. He would never stop loving her.
Chapter 7
He had made love to her twice more that night and again in the morning. It was different than the other times they were together. It was still bone melting and satisfying, but there was almost an urgency to it. Or maybe it was just her. Maybe because she knew that tomorrow she going back to New York and leaving paradise, leaving him behind for good. She wanted to say yes to him. She wanted to throw caution to the wind and jump feetfirst back into love with him.
We could make it work, she thought. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t seen him in fourteen years. It hadn’t mattered that she didn’t really know him anymore or that they had just been together for just a few days, because it felt amazin
g.
But it did matter. She just wanted a fling, a few days where she could let down her hair and be somebody she normally wasn’t. A few days when she wasn’t on a deadline and spending more time thinking about her characters’ lives than her own. And she had achieved that. She made some good memories, too. She shouldn’t feel this much sadness about it ending, only a bittersweetness. But she was sad. She had hurt him.
She could see it in his face. Hear it in the few words he had spoken to her. He was feeling nostalgic, reliving old times. He had to know that they couldn’t work. He was sexy and successful. He was a good man, and she knew he probably had to beat women off with a stick. He would be all right. He would go back to his life and forget about her.
It was for the best.
She walked up to the site of Virginia’s ceremony and gasped. It was being held in the butterfly garden. When she heard where it was going to take place she thought little of the name. But there were butterflies everywhere. Perched on flowers and in the trees, the colorful beauties took the place of decorations. Anything man-made couldn’t live up to these natural ornaments.
“It’s pretty amazing, right?” Virginia said. She saw her best friend standing just inside one of the little huts outlining the property. Willa’s eyes filled with tears seeing her. She wore a simple silk gown that fit the setting and her toned body perfectly. But it was the flowers in her loose hair and the glowing look on her face that truly made her beautiful that day.
“I didn’t think it was possible to be this happy for someone else.” She rushed over to her and hugged her tightly. “But I’m so happy for you.”
“Don’t you start crying! I’ve been trying not to cry all day. You look gorgeous, by the way. I keep meaning to tell you that. I’ve never seen you look so amazing.”
“Ha!” She swiped at her tears. “When I’m at home I live in yoga pants and baggy T-shirts. I only look this good for you. And anyway, I’m supposed to be telling you how perfect you look. This place is amazing. I’m so glad to be a part of it all.”
“I knew it was something special when I saw it. I’m supposed to be in the bridal suite but I wanted to see people’s faces when they walked in.”
“They’ll be talking about this wedding for the rest of their lives.”
“You better start planning now if you’re going to top me. How much do you think it’ll cost to rent out the Met?”
“I’m not getting married anytime soon,” she said softly, feeling sadness she hadn’t expected.
“I know you and Marc just started dating, but he’s in love with you, Willa. It’s going to happen soon.”
“We’re not dating,” she said a little too quickly.
“What? But yesterday... He dragged you away and no one saw either of you for the rest of the night.”
“I was with him, but we’re friends. We’re going to stay friends.”
“But Willa! You love him. I see it.”
“We’re familiar strangers. Five days together after fourteen years apart is not the basis for long-term relationship.”
“Maybe not, but you have to see him again. You have to try.”
“This is your day. Let’s focus on you.”
“I know we haven’t been as close as we should these past couple of years, but I love you. You’re my best friend and I want you to be happy. Marcus Simpson will make you happy.”
“Marc and I had a thing once and he broke my heart, okay? So excuse me if I’m not ready to plan my wedding.”
“You’re scared,” she accused her. “You’ve been scared of being hurt for years, and that’s why you only date men who you could never fall in love with.”
“And I’m going to die a lonely spinster with my thirteen cats,” Willa said, but she knew her friend was right. She wasn’t scared of him hurting her again. She had grown up. She was more confident. She knew what she had to offer the world. But she was afraid of losing herself in him. Afraid of taking a backseat to his needs. Afraid of losing that thing that made her a great writer. “We are done talking about this.” She shook her head. “Let’s talk about your honeymoon, or potential baby names, or the price of butter these days.”
“Fine.” Virginia rolled her eyes. “But when I get back from Europe we are going to have a nice long chat whether you want to or not. We’re moving to New York. I’ll be teaching a painting class there and you won’t be able to avoid me.”
“You’re moving back?” Willa was happy to hear it, happy to have her friends closer. She was going to need them.
“Yes, for a while. Now let’s get to the bridal suite before I get caught. I’m getting married in an hour, and I’m freaking out a little.”
* * *
“I never realized how much I loved you until I spent time without you,” Marc heard Virginia say in her vows to Carlos. “And when we were apart I realized how incomplete my life was without you in it.”
He knew he should have been focusing on Virginia and how moving the ceremony was, but he couldn’t help but look over to Willa. She wore a bright turquoise dress and a spray of white flowers in her hair. She was teary-eyed and beaming at her best friend. Beautiful wasn’t a strong enough word to describe her. It almost hurt to look at her. Hurt because he knew that in a few hours they would be going their separate ways.
She turned around to look at him them, their eyes locking, the happiness melting off her face. Maybe it was stupid of him to try to rekindle things after fourteen years apart and only a few days in each other’s company. Maybe she was right. Maybe it was the air. Maybe they would get back to their normal lives and fall out of whatever it was they were currently in. Maybe he could believe that if he hadn’t ever been in love with her in the first place.
“Are you going to come clean about what’s going on between you two?” Asa whispered as he turned his attention back to the ceremony.
“I love her, but she doesn’t want to give us a shot.”
“You’re going to let that stop you, are you? Willa is the type you fight for. Fight for her. You’ll hate yourself if you don’t.”
Asa was right. Marc was going to have to fight to keep the best thing that ever happened to him.
* * *
There were about twenty guests at the reception but Willa could focus on only one. Marc was standing in front of the waterfall with Asa, looking sexy in his gray suit and coral-colored shirt. He was chatting with one of Carlos’s cousin, a beautiful woman with long dark hair that went down to her waist. Women were drawn to him. He would go home and find some gorgeous woman to love. She was sure of that. But he kept looking at her. She felt his eyes on her, and he gave her long, hot looks that made her skin tingle. It was hard chatting with the other guests, pretending to be cheerful when all she wanted to do was cross the patio to be near him.
They could have tonight. It was getting late. Guests were starting to head back to their rooms. She could sneak off with him. Her flight left early in the morning. They could spend just a few more hours together, but she knew that it would be worse if she stayed with him. Saying goodbye would be just too hard. It would cloud her. She didn’t want to leave this beautiful place, but she really needed to go home. To be in her space, to get back to her routine. Then she would be able to see things clearly. Right now her vision was blurry and the only thing she could see was him.
His eyes met hers again. It must have been the hundredth time it happened that night. She couldn’t take it anymore. She walked over to him after spending all evening away from him. He opened his arms to her, tucking her into his embrace, kissing the bridge of her nose. It felt natural and normal and right. She felt like she fit there. Like she fit with him. And it wasn’t the way it felt in high school. It felt bigger. It felt deeper. It was something she never expected. Something she never planned for.
“Your arms are cold. Let me give you my
jacket.”
“No.” She reached up to kiss him, and he gave her one of those slow, soft pecks that made her melt.
“This was a mistake on your part,” he said in between kisses. “If you think I’m letting you get away, you’re dead wrong. This is too good to give up.”
“Marc.” An unfamiliar voice called his name and they both looked up to see a man in a rumpled suit before them.
“Kevin.” Marc looked shocked. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m so sorry to bother you, but Mr. Connor had a massive heart attack this morning after you two spoke. He wants you by his side. He sent a private plane.”
He let go of her, his face going stony.
“Who is Mr. Connor?” she asked, feeling him slip away already.
“My boss,” he said distractedly. “How bad is it?” he asked his colleague.
“We’re not sure he’s going to make it. We need you to come back. You’re second-in-command.”
He nodded, taking a step away from her, before he paused and turned to look back at her. “I’ve got to go, Willa. I’m sorry.”
Of course he did. This was his livelihood. A job he worked so hard at to get to the top. It came first. Something always came first for him, and it wasn’t going to be her. “Go. I’ll tell Virginia why you had to leave.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I should have expected it. This is your life.”
“Willa...”
“Goodbye, Marc.” She walked away from him, realizing she had been right all along.
Chapter 8
It had been three weeks since Willa left Costa Rica. It was supposed to be just a vacation, a time she looked back on with only pleasant memories, but those five days in paradise left a bigger mark on her than she had thought they would.
She had come home, gotten back to her life, but still thought about Marc. She was so sure that once things around her had gone back to normal, thoughts of him would fade. That she wouldn’t wake up in the morning wishing she felt his warm, heavy body beside her. But she had been wrong, because thoughts of him hadn’t faded. If anything they grew more intrusive with each passing day. She knew it was insane. Five days together after fourteen years apart. He shouldn’t have left such an imprint on her heart. There shouldn’t be sadness weighing her down. Life shouldn’t seem so dull without him.