“I would prefer that you leave, but you staying gives me no choice than to have this conversation with you. You say I have everything? Well, if that were true, then Elizabeth would be here right now, but instead I had to put her in the fucking ground. In the ground, father! Two days after our son was born. How is that everything? No amount of money and power can ever bring her back to me and Jackson. My eyes are dark today because even after all of these years that have passed, I still miss her. She was taken in the cruelest way possible, and my son had to grow up without his mother. She never even held him!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.
He stared at me as I took in my ragged breaths. He was the last person I wanted to share my feelings with. I had buried them deep for so long, it was taking every ounce of control not to be enraged at my father. I was sure half my staff had heard me by now. I threw my hands in the air and looked to him, trying to figure out what he was hiding behind his eyes.
“What is it, father? Are you looking for absolution or something? My eyes were wide open when I took over this company from you. It was my legacy, remember? So to question my choices now after all these years would simply be futile at this point.”
He finally responded. “I am so sorry, Walker, so very sorry. I have made many mistakes with you, son. You can’t even begin to understand why I’ve done what I’ve done. Walker, I need to…”
In all my life, I had never seen my father behave in that manner. Phillip Reed: apologetic? He paused right when we were about to reach the crux of what the real issue was.
“What, father? Will you just tell me what you’re sorry for? What are you trying to tell me? I don’t know what you’re expecting to find here, but if it’s peace of mind you’re seeking, then I can’t give that to you; only you can. I had to live with my choices, father. I expect you to do the same with yours.”
I ran my fingers through my hair in complete frustration. I hated when my father spoke in circles. A timid knock once again interrupted me. “Come in!” I shouted.
“Excuse me, sir.”
“What is it now, Catherine?”
“Mr. Monroe has arrived. He’s waiting for you in conference room B.”
“Tell him I’ll be along shortly. And Catherine, the intercom does work. Learn how to use it before you interrupt me again.”
“Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.” Catherine quickly turned and closed the door behind her.
I turned back to my father, who at the moment was just staring at me silently. “Are we done here?” I asked once more.
“I guess we are. I’ll be on my way, Walker. Sorry to disturb your…day. I’ll phone Jackson and spend some time with him before I leave for home. Your mother misses you. It would be nice if you made some time to visit with her soon.”
As I turned to go back to my desk, my father did something that I never expected him to do. He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me into a hug. A quick pat on my back and he whispered, “Goodbye, Walker.” Then he turned away and walked out the door.
“Goodbye, father.” Two simple and small words were all I could manage to say. I stood there, stunned into silence by his rare display of affection.
That would be the last time I ever laid my eyes on Phillip Reed. Three days had passed when I received a call that he was dead from a heart attack.
I never understood his reason for visiting me that day. I was angry when he tried to talk to me. That day was always hard for me, and when he unexpectedly showed up, it only angered me more.
To understand Phillip Reed took many years of skill that I just didn’t have the time or patience for. I instead looked over to my son, who was grieving for his grandfather. Jackson loved him very much. No matter what my feelings were for my father, he was Jackson’s grandfather. I was thankful that Jackson was able to see him one last time. We had flown to New York for his service, and Jackson insisted on staying at the house with my mother.
I hated this house and all it represented, but I did it for Jackson. I played my role well. I was the prodigal son who had returned home to mourn his parent and support the grieving. I shook many hands and listened to stories of how my father conquered the business world and how at times he had to be ruthless. Oh, don’t I know that? “Try being his son,” I wanted to say, but I held my tongue. My parents’ closest friends, the Townsends, paid their respects. I expected no less from Elizabeth’s parents. Jackson was thrilled to see them, and their presence alone made it easier for Jackson to grieve for Phillip.
After our last guest left our home, I found myself in my father’s office. I walked around the room where I could still feel his presence all around me. I ran my fingers along the surface of his mahogany desk. Not one dust particle to be found on it; his office was always set in a meticulous manner. I poured myself a scotch and was face to face with my father again, but this time it was his portrait staring back at me.
No matter where I stood in the room, I could feel my father’s eyes following me. My hands clenched around the glass I was holding. If I held it any tighter, it would have shattered. I emptied my glass and said my private goodbye to the mighty man himself. I felt a chill run down my spine as I exited his office, but somehow I didn’t feel any closure when I did.
ONE MONTH LATER, traveling to New York City was not what I had envisioned for my son’s spring break. I planned on taking Jackson to Europe, but my son had other plans. It was extremely rare for me to compromise on any decision I made, especially when it came to my son. His heart was set on attending New York University in the fall. The university was hosting a meet and greet for new students and their families during the same time I planned our trip. I only conceded because he was still grieving over the loss of his grandfather. We were only here a short time ago for his grandfather’s funeral, and to be back so soon didn’t sit well with me. But it was for him, I kept reminding myself.
Jackson had been talking about attending NYU Film School ever since I had taken him at ten years old for his first viewing at the Tribeca Film Festival. He was entranced by it all and had been making short films ever since. I had wished for him to attend school in California, but his heart was set on New York. If he stayed behind in California, I could keep a better eye on him and not be insanely panicked by not being a constant presence in his day to day life. UCLA had one of the finest programs for Jackson and it would meet all of his needs, but we had exhausted that argument enough. I finally conceded and allowed him to apply to NYU, his dream school.
I attended NYU for my business and finance degree. For the most part, it held good memories for me until my senior year when my life, as I knew it, fell apart. I was madly in love with Reese Mitchell. Reese was a transplant from Atlanta. She began her senior year at NYU. She was beautiful and easily noticeable in a crowd. She was close to five feet ten inches in height with long, slender legs and the most beautiful smile that lit up a room when she entered it.
I thought my heart was going to stop beating when I first met Reese. We met in the library, of all places. I had seen her around campus a few times, but I never approached her. I thought I was smooth by casually sitting at her table, but she never looked up at me. She had her nose buried deep in her psychology book while wearing large black frame glasses. I had to meet her, but I was awkward at best. Reese totally ignored me, a first for me.
I never had a problem talking to girls, but this beauty had my insides all twisted. I could feel my lips moving, but heard no sound. When she finally broke away from her book, she wore a puzzled expression on her face, and I could have sworn I heard her laugh at me. I never said a word to her until we met again, this time at a local coffee station on campus where I almost plowed into her. She was startled and dropped the books she was carrying. I leaned forward to help her as our eyes locked on to each other. I could feel electric pulses running through my body. She didn’t look away, but her caramel brown eyes burned right through me. After helping her with her books, I walked over to a nearby table and placed them down. I was hoping she would ackn
owledge my presence and finally speak. I was willing her to talk so I could hear her voice. When our connection finally broke, she introduced herself.
Extending her hand out to me, she said, “Hi, I’m Reese Mitchell. Um…thank you for your help.” She smiled up at me.
“It’s no bother at all. I’m Walker Reed.” Her skin was soft to the touch. It took all my restraint not to pull her into me and kiss her right in front of the other students around us.
She looked right at me with a confident stance. “I know who you are. I’ve seen you at the library. And I believe you were in my psychology class, but I only saw you there once.” Another smile swept her beautiful face.
“You certainly have a detailed memory, Reese. Yes, I was in psychology, but I would have never dropped that class had I known you were in it. How foolish of me.” Her cheeks flushed the brightest shade of pink as I smiled at her. I couldn’t help but stare at her. She was beautiful, and I was getting lost in her eyes.
“Well, Walker, pleasure to meet you. As much as I would like to continue this friendly banter between us, I need to get home. May I have my books back please?” Southern manners at its finest. How could a few words from her mouth have excited me so much?
“I will give you your books back, but on one condition. Please join me for dinner on Friday night.”
“That sounds lovely, but Friday is not good for me.”
“What about Saturday? We don’t have to eat dinner, any meal time would suffice.”
“I may be working on Saturday as well, I’m sorry. My weekends this month are booked with appointments.”
“What has you so busy that you can’t squeeze in a meal with a friend?”
“Now, Walker, I just met you; I hardly consider you a friend.”
“Let me change that, Reese, and by the time we are finished with our date, I will be so much more to you than a friend.”
“You seem pretty sure of yourself.”
“I am, Reese…believe me. When I want something, I usually get it. I will work around your schedule and anything you have on your calendar.”
“Okay. Friday night I have a job in Central Park, you can pick me up at seven. We can go to dinner after I wrap for the night.”
“I’m confused, Reese. What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a model. I’m shooting a layout for Fashion Week. My best friend is one of the many designers that will be participating in the event.”
Sweet Jesus! She’s a model. I smiled as I felt my pants shift with my growing erection. “That sounds amazing. I will see you on Friday at seven.”
Reese gave me the sexiest smile I had ever seen as she walked away. This girl lit a fire through my soul. Reese’s southern accent alone was the sexiest sound I had ever heard, and I knew I would never be the same after that. I planned on making Reese Mitchell mine in every way, beginning Friday night on our date.
My ringing phone brought me back into the present. It was a tedious, but necessary, work call.
Dammit! After all of these years, I could remember Reese as if it were yesterday. I branded every detail of our first encounter to memory, and it still made me feel alive when I revisited that day. I didn’t know if it was my father’s unexpected visit the previous month, or him dying, but once again, I resurrected all my feelings when it came to her. Reese Mitchell, the one who owned my body, heart, and soul. The one who broke me first and left me shattered before Elizabeth finally completed my circle of pain by leaving me and Jackson. Damn you both for ripping my fucking heart out, and for invading my daily thoughts. I rubbed my temples, and wanted to just wish the past month away. Hell, I wanted to do more than that, but I had some more calls to make before departing for New York, so it was business as usual for me.
I was just finishing up with my last call when my son, Jackson, barreled in through my office with Jenny trailing behind him. Making hand gestures, Jackson grew impatient. He was so eager to leave, but he knew I was never a person to be rushed. Raising my eyebrows up at him, he took a step back and waited without the use of theatrics to hurry me along. I watched Jenny scold him with her eyes, and he patiently took a seat while I finished up with my call. Bless that woman. She was one of the few people in my life that kept me grounded and kept this office running smoothly. Catherine had appeared to finally rise up to meet the demands of what I expected in my assistants. She only covered for Jenny that one day while she had fallen ill, and she dealt with my wrath as I endured my unexpected interruption from my father. Catherine seemed to have grown a thicker skin since then, showing me her competence. That was a good thing, because I had no patience for the weak at heart. I run my company at a high level of control and discipline, and I expected no less from the people I employed.
“Have the plans been finalized for the Reinhart building yet? That’s fantastic news. I want them messengered over by three o’clock….My plane arrives in New York around the five o’clock hour, and you can reach me after that. We can pick up this conversation tomorrow, but now I have other matters that need my attention.”
Removing my Bluetooth from my ear, I looked up to Jackson, who was pacing the floor of my office. I ignored him and called Jenny to come in to my office.
“Yes, sir?”
“Jackson, please excuse me. I need a moment with Jenny.” Throwing his hands into the air, clearly frustrated, he exited my office.
“I’m sorry you had to witness that. My son is impatient and rude,” I said to Jenny as she shook her head.
“Sir, may I speak freely?” I looked over to Jenny, and for the first time today, I actually smiled. She was one of the precious few who had a free pass. I trusted her implicitly.
“Yes, Jenny, what is it?”
“Mr. Reed, please be patient with Jackson. This trip means so much to him, and he is still grieving. He may not show you all the time, but he is. We have talked quite a bit, and he misses you and wants nothing but to please you. He wants you to be proud of him and support his decision to go to school in New York.”
I sighed and slumped back into my chair.
“You just don’t understand. I need him here with me, and it is killing me to come to terms with his decisions and his fierce independence.”
“He sounds a lot like someone I know,” Jenny responded.
I winked at her, as she smiled back at me.
“He will be fine, and so will you. You spend every waking minute here in this office. Your son is going off to college, maybe it’s time for you to take a long overdue break and live a little. Not for the company, not for your son, but for you. I can’t even remember the last time you actually enjoyed yourself socially.”
“My entire life is this company and Jackson. I have no time for anything else. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to spread my wings.”
“I hope you do, sir, because I have a stack of social engagements waiting for you to RSVP to.”
“I guess that will have to wait until we both return from our trips. You need to go and begin your vacation, Jenny.”
“I’ll just finish up with a few things, and I will be on my way. Everything is taken care of for you in New York. Have fun, will you?”
I scoff at my assistant. “What’s fun?”
She was right about one thing…I did work way too much. I said goodbye to Jenny and had Jackson come back in. I took one look at him, and he was all fired up.
“Dad, we are going to miss our flight. You promised me no work on this trip.”
I rose from behind my desk and strode over to my son. “Come to think of it, you promised me something too, but you don’t see me overreacting because I’m not getting my way. Jackson, we will not miss our flight, we are taking the company jet. They run on my timetable. Secondly, this visit to New York is all about you. But please don’t shame me, because I have a company to run.”
“Dad, I know you’re disappointed that we didn’t go to Europe, but it’s not going anywhere, we can arrange another vacation. Please understand how important thi
s New York trip is for me.”
“Oh, believe me, son, I know how important this trip is for you. Not a day goes by that you don’t remind me. Let me ask you a question: Where does your girlfriend factor in on your decision to attend school in New York? Getting involved in a relationship right now is the last thing I want for you. Your priority is school and nothing more, are we clear on this?”
“Dad, I know what my responsibilities are. You remind me every day. I can have both in my life. I would like to think that you know me better than that. I would never base my decision that will ultimately change my future because of a girl, and Riley is pretty amazing, dad. Her coming into my life when she did was just icing on the cake. The unknown forced her way in and right through my heart like Robin Hood’s arrow. I care for her more than you know.”
Jackson’s words reminded me of a similar conversation I had with my father once. This was exactly what I thought when I met Reese.
“Dad, I can’t believe we are having this conversation again! Please, dad, you have to trust me.”
“Jackson, I do trust you, more than you know, but you need to give me some time to adjust to this newfound independence you have now been accustomed to. It doesn’t sit well with me. I knew this day would come when you wanted to strike out on your own, but to be honest with you, I’m not happy with my only son living on the other side of the country. I’m trying, son, I really am, but cut me some slack. I will bend on this for now, but Jackson, make no mistake when I say you’re my priority and your well-being means everything to me. If I see you not living up to your fullest potential, then you will return home to California.”
“Dad, what are you so afraid of? I’m eighteen years old and can be trusted to make my own decisions. Have I ever given you reason to doubt me?”
To look at my son with his mother’s eyes staring back at me, simply cut me to my core. He so reminded me of her. How could I even begin to explain to him my deepest fears and insecurities?
Life was unpredictable with no guarantees. Having to lose his mother to something I couldn’t control still haunted me. Jackson was cheated from loving and knowing his mother. He had to celebrate every milestone without her. I missed Elizabeth for our son. She would be so proud of the young man he had become. I prayed I did everything right by him. I couldn’t take this stress between us, and I looked to Elizabeth for strength. He had so much of her spirit running through him.
Second Chance at Forever Page 2