Second Chance at Forever

by Mary Wasowski

  “Shhh, Ms. Mitchell, try to take some calming breaths.” Dr. Briggs was stroking my cheeks and tucked my hair behind my ears. “I’m going to have my nurse take your blood pressure and vitals, and then I’ll be back to speak with you. Please, Ms. Mitchell, continue taking calming breaths, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I didn’t understand what was happening to me, and then the same nurse entered my room to examine me.

  “Welcome back, Ms. Mitchell.”

  “Please call me Reese. What’s happening to me, and why do you have my hands restrained?”

  Dr. Briggs will be back in a minute, and he will answer all of your questions.” She politely smiled and then left my room. Dr. Briggs? What happened to Phillip? My head was so fuzzy, and I was very confused to what was happening. Just then, Dr. Briggs walked back into my room, and he looked sad and troubled.

  “How are you feeling, Ms. Mitchell?” He asked with a worried tone to his voice, how strange coming from a doctor, no less. He was a stranger to me, but yet I felt comfortable around him.

  “Please call me Reese, and I’m not sure what’s going on.”

  “If you answer my question first, Reese, I’ll answer yours.”

  “I’m okay.” I lied. His one eyebrow rose with doubt. He doesn’t believe me, and why should he when I don’t myself. How can I be okay after losing my baby?

  “How’s your pain level? Any discomfort at all?” he asked me as he checked my eyes with his light.

  “I’m not in pain…physical pain, that is, but I am a little sore. My head is fuzzy, and I’m thirsty, maybe even a bit hungry.”

  “Thirsty and hungry are good signs. I’ll have some soup brought in for you right away.”

  “Will you feed me as well? You know with my hands being tied to the bed.”

  I didn’t want to be rude to the kind doctor, but after all, I was still restrained and didn’t know why. He looked at me and once again stroked my cheek with his soft hands.

  “If you promise to remain calm and try not to hurt yourself, then I will release you from your restraints.”

  At that moment, I didn’t think I could feel any worse. All of my painful childhood memories about my depressed mother flashed back at me. Still restrained, I looked into his concerned eyes, and I began to cry.

  “Dr. Briggs, I would never try to hurt myself…It’s just not possible. You must be mistaken.”

  “I’m sorry Reese, but you did try to harm yourself. After I left your room, I along with my nurse heard you scream. By the time we reached your room, you were screaming and crying. You ripped out your I.V. You nearly fell to the floor trying to get out of bed. I had no choice but to sedate and restrain you. You slept for nearly six hours, and when you finally woke up, you began having an anxiety attack that mirrored a heart attack. Your heart rate accelerated, along with your blood pressure. Your breathing was unstable, and I needed to calm you before you went into cardiac arrest. Honestly, Ms. Mitchell, you scared me. I don’t ever remember a time when I was ever scared like that until I witnessed what happened with you.”

  “You don’t even know me, Dr. Briggs, but I can assure you that whatever you were seeing was my reaction to losing my baby. I would never try to hurt myself; this I know for a fact.”

  He removed my restraints, and his nurse assisted me with a shower. I was still very sore, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I refused the pain medicine. Having to feel this physical hurt right now was nothing compared to what my heart and mind were going through. I wanted to feel everything. This was my punishment for leaving Walker.

  Dr. Briggs explained everything from the beginning. How I was screaming that I wanted to die, to pulling out my I.V. I can now see the bruising up my arms. I was shocked that I had slept all those hours, but my kind nurse that I now knew as Francesca explained that with the heavy medication I was on, this was normal. I had been dehydrated, and with the loss of blood, my body was very weak.

  My meltdown didn’t help my condition, and after I finished my meal, I was forced to endure an hour long conversation with a psychotherapist. I was exhausted, but I knew I had to make some calls. The psychotherapist was convinced that I wasn’t a danger to myself or anyone else for that matter. What I was feeling was normal. Oh I hate that word. I just lost my baby. I lost the love of my life. Having to endure what I’ve been through over these months, I think I was entitled to scream a bit. This was my fault, and my fault alone. I should have taken better care of myself. If I had, my baby would still be here. I stopped myself, because I didn’t want to begin feeling sorry.

  I finally phoned my agent and Freddy. Marsha was out of her mind with worry and didn’t know where I was. It took me forever to calm her and explain what happened. She told me that my disappearance was about to make the evening news. I was horrified by that revelation and afraid that Walker would see me. Thank goodness she was being her usual melodramatic self, because that didn’t happen.

  Freddy hurried over to the hospital right away. He was crying as he hugged me. He was taking all the blame onto his shoulders, because he was the one that begged me to come back. This was simply not true. I don’t know why I lost my son, but I knew I had to move on and put the pieces of my broken heart back together. Freddy stayed with me for a couple of more hours and then he had to board a flight to Milan. I hugged my friend, and we said our goodbyes through our tears.

  Little did I know this would be the last time I would see Freddy. After my disastrous encounter with Walker’s father and his body guard, I phoned Marsha to book me something in New York. His father had eyes everywhere, and he was determined to keep me from his son. I used my job to get back here, and once I did that, I was determined to find Walker. I finally explained everything to Freddy, and he said he wanted to hire a hit man to take out Phillip Reed. I needed my best friend when I was ready to face Walker. Freddy was in Europe, and for me to ask him to come back went beyond the bonds of friendship.

  I chickened out, and then Freddy convinced me to come home. No one could predict what was going to happen to me. I don’t know if it was the universe telling me that having Walker’s child was not meant to be, but I never believed that. I should have told him about the baby from the beginning and stand up to his father. I never gave Walker a chance. I had it all planned out. I would find Walker and tell him everything. I would crawl on glass if I had to, just for him to listen and take me back.

  I was hoping Walker would forgive me for ever leaving him, and prayed he would take me in his arms and tell me my nightmare was over, but that didn’t happen. Losing my child and suffering this immense loss was too hard to bear, but this misery was on me. To blame Phillip Reed was easy, but ultimately I blamed myself. If I had trusted Walker to help me, he would have protected me and not let his father hurt me or my family.

  I didn’t do any of that. I committed the one act I swore I would never do, I became…her. My mother was weak, and I am my mother’s daughter. I succumbed under all of Phillip’s threats, and all I was left with were the consequences of my actions.

  I was gathering my things when my hand holder of a doctor walked in.

  “Good morning, Ms. Mitchell. How are you feeling today?”

  It had been several days since my meltdown, and now I was being released. I was beyond ready to leave this place.

  “I’m better, Dr. Briggs. Thank you for asking.”

  “I just signed off on your discharge papers, and left all your post op paperwork with your nurse. You will have to take it easy for the next week or so.”

  “Thank you, I will manage just fine.”

  “I don’t doubt that at all, Ms. Mitchell.” He winked at me with a sparkle in his eyes. I smiled back at him.

  “You can call me, Reese. Ms. Mitchell sounds so formal and it makes me feel like I am back in school.”

  “Fair enough. Now that we are on a first name basis, will you please call me Samuel? I was about to sign out for the day. Would it be too forward of me to ask you out for coffee?”

&nbs
p; “I guess under normal circumstances it wouldn’t be considered forward, but this is not normal. I was your patient up to a few minutes ago, and you know why I was here.”

  “Reese, don’t over think things. It’s just coffee. Please let me escort you back to your hotel, and we can dine there.”

  Over think too much? Oh man, I am the queen of over thinking, and to hear those words again just breaks my heart. Walker was forever telling me that.

  “Thank you, Samuel. I would love to have coffee with you.”

  Samuel walked with me through the hospital valet area to retrieve his car all the while keeping his hand on the small of my back. He was forward with his mannerisms, but after what I had been through, this was a welcomed comfort.

  He drove us back to my hotel, where Marsha was waiting for me. She had me booked on an early morning flight back to California. Samuel was eyeing her up and down, not too sure what to make of her. I don’t think he knew that I was a model.

  “Oh, thank god, Reese! I was going out of my mind with worry. I phoned the hospital, and they told me you were released. I didn’t know what happened to you. Freddy is back in Milan, no one tells me a thing. I’m supposed to be your friend, for cripes sake, and now you’re here.”

  Grabbing my hands, and eyeing me up and down, she forcefully pulled me into her. I was considerably taller, so I almost toppled her. Samuel remained quiet while Marsha’s mouth was going a mile a minute.

  “Marsha, please calm down. I’m alright, can we take it down a few notches?”

  “I’m sorry, Reese, but oy vey! The last time I heard from you was days ago, and then when I finally do, you’re in the hospital? How do you expect me to react?”

  “I’m sorry too, Marsha. I never meant to worry you, but I’ve been through a lot. I can’t explain it all right now. Can you please bring my things up to my room, and I will meet up with you later?” I turned to Samuel and smiled for the first time in days. “I promised the good doctor here a cup of coffee.”

  I could tell that Marsha wanted to say something after sizing up Samuel, but she held her tongue. A miracle on her part. I watched her clip clop all the way to the elevator. I couldn’t help but laugh under my breath.

  “Your friend is quite the character. What exactly do you do, Reese, that requires you to have an agent?”

  “I’m a model, Samuel.”

  “Wow, I feel stupid. The only magazines I tend to read are medical journals. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

  “Don’t be sorry, Samuel. I am not nearly as famous as you may think I am. I only began modeling full-time a few months ago.”

  “Forgive me for asking, but how could you model and be pregnant at the same time?”

  I tried not to cry because of the harsh reality hitting me that I was no longer pregnant. Dr. Briggs looked so unsure at the moment, and probably regretted asking me his question. I wasn’t angry with him. He had a shy innocence about him; his awkwardness was adorable, on top of being very handsome.

  “To answer your question, I guess I was lucky not to be showing that much yet. Not all my modeling jobs consisted of full body shots.”

  “I’m sorry and feel very stupid. I shouldn’t have overstepped with my questions.”

  I assured him that he wasn’t prying and that I was not insulted by his questions. We sat down in the lounge of the hotel and ordered a late breakfast. I was in need of a glass of wine, but settled for coffee instead. Samuel was charming and asked me everything about my life. He told me about medical school, his upbringing, and his plans for the future. I had a different vision on how my life was going to be, but after losing the baby, I was only sure of one thing. Reconciling with Walker was never going to happen now.

  From what I had read and seen in the papers, Walker has clearly moved on with the daughter who reigns from one of the Hamptons elite families. I’m sure his father was gleaming with delight. I didn’t care what was reported on his lifestyle and all that was being played out in the papers. I believed that once Walker learned the truth behind my reason of leaving him, he would leave Elizabeth and come back to me.

  Samuel and I had been talking for most of the morning. It felt good to talk to someone and share my feelings. But I was getting tired and my body was still recovering from all that I went through. “Thank you, Dr. Briggs, oh sorry, I meant Samuel. I need to meet with Marsha, who is waiting on me. But thank you again for breakfast and the talk.”

  By the time I had reached my room, I was exhausted. True to form, Marsha was waiting inside for me. She began rattling off question after question, and I was just too tired to answer her. Anything we needed to discuss could be done tomorrow on our flight back to California.

  Marsha startled me the next morning by barging into my suite. “Rise and shine, Peaches! We have a flight to catch.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Time for you to get up and get ready. You slept close to sixteen hours.”

  “I did what? I can’t believe that I slept that long.”

  “You have to be starving. I had room service bring you dinner, but you never answered your door. That must have been some breakfast with that handsome doctor of yours.”

  “Stop it, Marsha. He was just being kind.”

  “Oh please! I think I saw a little naughty than kindness in his eyes. Did you not see how he couldn’t take his eyes off of you?”

  “I’m going to take a shower now. When I get out, I expect you not to be here. The flight will be long enough to endure with all of your incessant questioning.”

  “Have it your way, Peaches. I know lust when I see it.”

  “Goodbye, Marsha.”

  I was finishing getting dressed when I heard knocking at my door.

  “Marsha! I said I would meet you downstairs,” I said as I flung the door open. Samuel was standing there with two cups of coffee. He was the last person I expected to see.

  “Hi, what are you doing here?” I asked him.

  “Didn’t you know coffee delivery was one of our services that we provide?”

  I smiled and invited him in.

  “Thank you, Samuel. It was very thoughtful of you.”

  “You’re welcome. It was my pleasure. Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course,” I responded.

  “Reese, do you have to go back to California?”

  “Yes, I do. I have to get all my shoots rescheduled. I’m going to take the good doctor’s advice, and take some time off.” Physically I would heal. Mending my broken heart would be another issue.

  “What would you say if I asked you to not get on the plane today? I would love for you to stay here with me in New York.”

  What? “Samuel, you don’t even know me. How can you ask such a question like that?”

  “I know everything I need to know about you, Reese. You’re amazing, and I feel drawn to you for some reason. If you stay, we can get to know one another better.”

  “I’m sorry, Samuel, but I can’t. My work over the next few months will keep me very busy. I will mostly be traveling, and I don’t think that is how you want to start off anything with me. I’m sure you have more important things to take care of than to date me.”

  “You, at the moment, are all that I want.”

  “I’m flattered, really. But I can’t, Samuel.”

  I didn’t have time to respond to him. Samuel pulled me into his chest and kissed me. I let him, and for the first time since I left Walker, I realized this was what I needed. I wanted to feel a physical connection again, and being held in Samuel’s arms allowed me to do so. I returned his kiss, until he broke our connection and placed his forehead against mine. What am I doing?

  “Go to California. Here, take my card. It has all my numbers on it. Finish up with what you need to do, and we will talk soon. I’m on my way to Maryland. I have been offered a position at Johns Hopkins. Maybe once I get settled, you can visit. We can take all the time in the world to get to know one another. I want to, Reese, believe me. Ther
e is something about you that makes me want to know you better. I’m probably the most predictable man you will ever meet, but with you, I’m willing to change that. I would be a fool if I didn’t try to court you and show you all that we can be. This is me taking a chance. Will you, Reese? I promise you won’t regret it.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  …where past and present collide

  WE HAD SOME time before we were to meet Riley and her mother for dinner. I did some work in my study while Jackson settled into his room. The minute our plane touched down in New York, his phone was ringing off the hook. He tweeted to his friends where to meet up later in the evening. Jackson was very excited for his friends to meet Riley. He wanted to go into the Village tonight and show Riley around the city. I didn’t have any objections, but I didn’t know her mother and how strict she was with her only daughter. Jackson was always accompanied by our driver who doubled as his personal bodyguard. I rarely worried when he was under the watchful eye of Richard, who was never too far behind.

  I closed the lid to my laptop and looked around my office. This apartment held the best memories of my time spent here with Reese, and the most painful ones. I never would have predicted after leaving her asleep in our bed that it would be the last time I would lay my eyes on her. And the last time my mouth would ever kiss her lips. I kissed her goodbye, and added to memory her beautiful scent. It was a scent that I craved on a daily basis, I could never get enough of her. My family owned this building, and this was my private home that I shared my time with Reese in. After she left me, I could never bring myself to completely abandon it. After leaving New York for California to begin what I believed would be my new life, I packed up my personal things and said goodbye to not only New York, but to Reese.

  Over the years, I used this penthouse when I was in town for work. It never brought me joy after Reese, or Elizabeth, for that matter. After Elizabeth died, I had the entire penthouse redecorated, all except my bedroom.

  My bedroom was the last place I shared with Reese, and I wasn’t ready to let it go, maybe not ever. Walking over to the safe, I opened it and looked at its contents. I had stowed away some of her pictures, along with her first professional magazine cover. She looked absolutely breathtaking. This lovely girl who I was to share my life with was smiling back at me, and then she was gone. I traced her face with my fingers, trying to remember what she felt like under the warmth of my hands against her skin. She completely submitted to me when we were making love or fucking hard up against a door or a wall. She was mine. Reese was my woman.