“Yes, he did Walker. But he hurt my feelings more than anything he could do to me physically. I tried to leave, as he pressed me up against the door and then onto his desk. He held my hands as he had sex with me. All I could do was wait until he was finished. He apologized after he was done and promised that he would make it up to me. I was not going to leave him and no way would a divorce ever be considered. I ran upstairs to change my clothes, and then Riley and I left for the airport.”
“Oh my god, Reese. The bastard raped you! I will fucking tear his arms off.”
“Walker, he didn’t rape me. I let him do that to me. Don’t you understand? He is my husband, who was there when you weren’t, and now I was asking him for a divorce. Samuel may have been neglectful during our marriage, but he never hurt me until a few days ago when I mentioned divorce.”
Hearing what Reese just said to me, I’m out of my mind. Here she is defending her husband and his actions. I don’t care what Reese is calling it, she said no, and he took her anyway. How can she expect me not to have a reaction to this?
“Walker, look at me please.”
I clasped my hands around my neck, a clear sign I was frustrated and wanted to hit something. She wanted me to look at her, but I couldn’t. I was too angry, and I needed to take a breath. Reese went back inside the car, waiting for me to return. I slid inside next to her, and all I could do was pull her into me.
“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to lose it back there. I can’t stand the thought of you ever returning back to him. Please stay with me.”
“Walker, I can’t right now. Please understand it won’t be easy for me to walk away from Samuel and the life I have in Maryland. I have not only Riley to think about, but I have my work and my friends. No one will understand my reasons on leaving my marriage; if anything, they will think I’m crazy.”
“Who cares what people think? The only two people that matter are you and me!”
“Walker! How can you say that? What about Jackson and Riley? I can’t just ride off into the sunset with you because that’s where my heart is leading me. I’m not free.”
I stared into her eyes and said, “Just answer this simple question. Do you want to be free? Free of this loveless marriage you’ve been just existing in all of these years? You already said you asked him for a divorce. Stand by your decision, and end this marriage before you waste one more day missing out on who you really want. The man that loves you—truly loves you— is right here beside you. It wasn’t over for us. I love you Reese, and I will not let you walk away this time without a fight. This is our second chance at forever.”
SITTING HERE WITH her was just maddening. Breathing the same air with her was driving me insane. All my thoughts were sending me almost into a blinding rage. My thoughts were of Reese, and Reese, alone. Burying myself inside of her was all I wanted. Her touch, her scent, her voice, I was already so lost in her. Talk to me dammit! I had to make her see me.
“Reese, look at me.” She was staring out the window and ignoring my requests. I wanted her to look at me, but she looked lost in thought right now. I told Stephen to return us to the hotel. She flinched when the car began to move. I sat quietly with my eyes forward. I could play this game just as good as Reese could. Hell, I invented it. Watching her body move the way it did was telling me that she was silently suffering. How could I get through to her without driving her away?
“Walker, you don’t understand,” she said.
What didn’t I understand? I knew she was married, but she didn’t want him or her marriage. Reese turned to me and held my hand. “My life with Samuel is complicated. When I met Samuel, I was at the lowest point of my life. I lost our baby and all hopes of ever reuniting with you again. I had nothing to live for but my work, and even that didn’t fulfill me. He was there for me. He was the only one I had.”
“Dammit, Reese! How could you even say this to me? You had a hell of lot more than just Samuel. What about Freddy? Your grandparents? I would have been with you! All you needed to do was just be honest with me.”
“Walker, I told you why I left. Do you think it was easy for me to walk away from you? And believe me when I say that I did try to find you and tell you the truth. Your father was just too powerful for me to go up against. You said it yourself, you were the exception to the rule. I was not, Walker. I remember the day we drove out to your parents’ Hamptons estate. You were so apprehensive about me meeting your father. I never understood why, until I met him in person. Your assessment of him was right on, and he scared the hell out of me. He was beyond arrogant, and was intimidating. I had never known anyone like your father. You only told me small parts of your relationship with him. You always gave me the impression that you could handle him, but Walker, could you really? I don’t think you really knew who Phillip Reed was at all?”
She continued, “The time I was given with my parents was magical. They were completely different from yours. My parents were always loving, and never a day went by that they didn’t tell or show me that love. Your mother may be an exception, but you never had that with your father, and when he did what he did to me, he showed no remorse at all. I’m sorry, Walker, but I was looking at the devil himself. My heart was broken when my mama and daddy died. Thank god I had my grandparents to care for me.”
She pressed on, “You want to know why I couldn’t tell you about your father. It’s because after what my family sacrificed for me, how could I let this man destroy them? I was young and naïve. Yes, I believed everything your father threatened me with. This is why I left. I would have given my life for them, Walker. I did after all, but I had to lose you to save them. When I found out I was pregnant with your child, I had never been happier. I vowed to give our son or daughter a supportive and loving upbringing that you never had. I imagined you holding our baby and being an amazing father. I wanted to tell you that night, and I should have.”
Reese continued, “I can’t predict what may have happened if you had known. I could have suffered the same fate with the miscarriage, but at least I still would have had you. I am beyond sorry for the choices I made back then. Not for helping my family, but not telling you or them. We could have been a united force against your father, but I succumbed to Phillip and Miles without blinking an eye. You told me over and over again how different you were from your father. I knew you were in line to take over the business, but I also knew you wanted to run it your way with your vision.”
She took a breath and went on. “I wasn’t afraid of that, and following you to California was never not an option for me. I wanted to go with you Walker, and be with you. The first real test in our relationship, and I failed you. I didn’t trust what we had, and for that… I fucked it all up and handed you to another woman, while I suffered in silence. I don’t think I will ever be able to truly forgive myself. I just need you to understand the reasons behind my choices. I’m sorry, Walker, I am so incredibly sorry.”
I couldn’t take it anymore! I was sitting there with her, listening to my broken girl recount the most painful time in her life, and it was all due to my father. God, I fucking hated him and everyone that had a hand in destroying my relationship with Reese. I did what came naturally to me and just pulled her against my body. I needed to feel her heartbeat against my own. I had to heal my woman once and for all and make her forget this nightmare that she had to live with. My father was dead, and he couldn’t hurt her anymore. I was there now, and I vowed to make everything that my father destroyed right again, beginning with Reese. I rubbed my hand up and down her back in slow, smooth strokes, and she was slowly starting to calm under my touch.
“Reese, you need to stop this. Dredging up the past is not going to change anything, but bring us more hurt. We can leave that shit where it belongs and begin again. I love you, and I know you love me. Please let’s put this behind us. Can you do that, Reese?”
“I don’t see how I can, Walker. What about my husband, Samuel? Have you forgotten about him? He was there for me
when I had no one. Our baby was gone, and you were gone. I was utterly alone, Walker. I was pretty on the outside because I was a model, but I was ugly inside and feeling empty. Samuel offered me a way out from under the black cloud that was my life. He was about to finish with his fellowship at New York Presbyterian and then onto Johns Hopkins. He asked me to join him in Baltimore and to start over. I thought he was insane with his invitation. I was a stranger to him. I questioned him, and all he said was that he knew me well enough to know that I was worth getting to know better.”
She went on, “I promised I would think about it, and then I left for California. My life there was small and unattached. I had a small apartment with minimal things in it that didn’t even make it a home. I was just existing and moving through my day to day. I missed you and mourned our child. I would smile pretty for the camera, and then at night, I cried myself to sleep. Samuel and I kept in touch through phone calls, and he even flew out for a weekend.”
She looked away from me and continued, “That weekend he flew in to visit me, he had rented a house in Napa. We made love for the first time, and he presented me with a ring. Samuel proposed, and begged me to say yes to him. The whole time I was with him, my mind kept retreating back to you. You Walker, and only you. Here I was with a ring on my finger, a proposal waiting for my answer, and this man making love to me. He was offering me the world, and I only wanted you.”
She stammered, and then went on with her story. “The reality was stronger than the fantasy, and I said yes to Samuel. Yes to becoming his wife, yes to having children with him, and yes to having a new life he wanted me to share with him. I guess Samuel and Elizabeth had one thing in common, they both knew that our hearts belonged to another, but loved us anyway.”
I had no words to say to Reese. My mind was reeling from her story. She had so much more to say, but I needed a second to compose myself. She was still holding my hands, never breaking our connection.
“Walker, Samuel helped me piece my life back together after losing our baby. He was supportive, and he listened to me cry for endless hours until I had no more tears to shed. Our relationship didn’t begin like most do. He was the doctor who treated me in the emergency room. He held my hand while I was sleeping. He was there for me when I had to see you and Elizabeth on Page Six of the paper. He didn’t ask anything of me but to take a chance with him to start over.”
She held my hand tighter and continued. “Walker, I knew you moved on from me, and were beginning your new life in California. I had a choice to make, and I made it with Samuel. After my weekend with Samuel, he had flown back to New York, and I remained in California to pack up my apartment. I only really had to pack my personal things, most of the furniture was rented along with the apartment. My agent owned a studio apartment in New York, so I forwarded my things to her place and stayed in California until Samuel was ready to leave for Maryland. The day I left, I found myself outside of the great Reed Global Building, and I waited in hopes of seeing even a glimpse of you.”
“Did you, Reese? Did you see me before leaving?”
“I did, Walker, and the image of you stepping out of your car and walking into the building is an image I will never forget. You were wearing a dark blue suit, a three piece, I believe. You were carrying a trench coat over your arm and the black briefcase I had bought you for your birthday. That warmed my heart to see you carrying that case.”
“I still have it, you know. It’s old and tattered, but I can’t bear to get rid of it. You had my initials engraved on it. So you saw me and just watched me? Why, Reese? You were so close, but yet you sat back in silence. Why didn’t you try to reach out and talk to me?”
“You know why, Walker. I sat there on that stupid bench for hours until you emerged again, but this time you weren’t alone. I saw you with your father, and your father saw me, and stared me down with his cold eyes. That was his subtle warning to turn around and go. I did just that and headed to the airport, finally saying goodbye to you. I cried all the way to the airport and for most of the flight. Even after all of those months without you, he still considered me a threat, and I was still afraid.”
She removed her hand from mine and crossed her arms as she went on. “The first time I tried to see you Walker, well you know what happened. That Ralston guy grabbed me. Covering my mouth, so I couldn’t call out to you. They were the barrier that separated me from you on that day, and shortly after…I had lost our baby. At least this time, he took mercy on me and allowed me to steal one last glimpse of you. I never saw you again, until we met at the restaurant yesterday.”
“Reese, don’t you see? You don’t have to be afraid anymore. You have me, and I will take care of you, and you will take care of me. We are together again like we were always meant to be.”
“Walker, you make it sound so simple. I can’t walk away from my life with Samuel. I have Riley to think about and how this will affect her. You make it sound easy and effortless. I wish I had your faith. This trip was about a college weekend for me to share with my daughter. I never expected to see you in a million years, and to make love with you again has my mind spinning out of control. How did this happen? How am I even in this car with you? I feel like the fates are still conspiring against us, and this has been all a dream.”
“Reese, it’s not a dream, and I’m very real. Our love has never faltered, it remains true to both of us, and I know you feel the same way. You can be with me, you just have to trust that I will be here this time, and no one will ever separate us again.”
“My life is so different from yours, Walker.”
“I know this, Reese. The life you’re leading is not the one you want.”
“You’re right, it’s not what I want. But it’s what I have. I’m exhausted, Walker, and I need some time to think. I have to call Samuel back, hanging up on him wasn’t right for me to do.”
“Can I see you tomorrow, Reese? Please say yes, and we can talk. I have so much to tell you, please think about it?”
“Walker, I really need to spend some time with Riley. This trip was for her, and I have been with you the entire time.”
“I don’t think Riley has noticed, all she sees is Jackson. This trip was also supposed to be a father and son trip, but I knew once my boy saw his girl, I would be an afterthought. That’s how it works when you’re in love, Reese, at least it was for me when I met you.”
“Walker, that’s one of my problems. It still feels the same. I have never stopped loving you, and yet I still married someone else, had a child with him, and created this facade of my happy domesticated life. The truth is that I always wanted more, and you were my more. I should have had all these things with you, but I ruined us, Walker. This is on me, and you will never convince me otherwise. I don’t deserve you. Let this weekend be the goodbye and closure to our story, and we can both return to our lives.”
“Reese, are you fucking kidding me? How can you say this to me? If you think I will let you just walk away from me again, then you truly have forgotten who the hell I am. You want to talk about blame? How about me giving up on you? I didn’t try hard enough to find you. I had money at my disposal, I could have hired a thousand private detectives to find you, but I didn’t. I believed the dead ends were real, and you just didn’t want to be found. Even that was premeditated by my father. I chose to drink you away and then when I finally sobered up, I bedded a woman that I didn’t want to love, she got pregnant, and I married her. What does that say about me, Reese? We have both been broken, but we can heal together and have the life we always dreamed of. Reese, I will do anything to make this happen. Will you?”
We arrived at Reese’s hotel. She turned to open the door, and I pulled her back against my chest. I didn’t say a word to her and just inhaled her scent and wrapped my arms around her waist. We had the glass divider encasing us in our private bubble and shutting out the rest of the world.
My hands travelled down her front. My skillful fingers slid down to her waist and slowly slid u
nder her panties. Reese panted with want from my touch. I knew she wanted me and would do anything I asked. Always the vocal lover, her moans of pleasure were crying out for more. I never forgot what we shared in our love making. My desire for her was so strong, I couldn’t fight it, nor did I want to.
“Reese, I want you. Turn around baby, and let me see you.” I grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to me. I crashed my lips onto hers and began to make love to her in the back of the limo.
“Walker, oh god I want you. Please take me now.”
“Oh I will, baby, I will. Let me love you first. I want you to scream my name as I make you come.” Reese didn’t disappoint, as she clutched my head and pulled my hair as she screamed out her pleasure. Not that I cared if Stephen heard us, but my divider was also sound proof.
“Reese, open your eyes and look at me. You. Are. Mine! Reese, you’re not his. You never belonged to anyone but me. Say the words to me, Reese, say that you’re mine.”
“I’m yours, Walker. I have never belonged to Samuel, I only belong to you, and I only love you.”
That’s all I needed to hear to finally explode into Reese. Her body always responded to me, and only me. I would never let her go. I rested my forehead onto hers and tried to get my breathing under control.
“Are you okay, baby?” I asked her. Reese’s eyes were glazed over with tears, and I wasn’t sure what she was thinking. I only felt her heart beating as fast as mine was. We were connected, didn’t she know this?
“Yes, I’m fine, Walker. I haven’t felt this way in a very long time, and I still can’t believe that you’re here with me.”
“Believe it, Reese, because I’m not going anywhere. We will work this out together, but you have to give me your word that you will not run again. You can’t walk out of this car and out of my life again. I understand what’s at stake, Reese, but if you don’t take this chance with me now, then you will waste more years in a marriage that you never wanted, and where will that leave you then? Is it fair to Samuel? If he’s the man that you say he is, then let him go and give him a chance to find someone that can love him the way he deserves to be loved.”
Second Chance at Forever Page 14