Second Chance at Forever

by Mary Wasowski

  Oh Walker, I love you too. Please feel my love wherever you are, and know you’re in my heart. Please forgive me for leaving you again.

  As much as I wanted to save his message, I couldn’t take the risk of having it discovered by Samuel, so I deleted it, but not before texting Walker to let him know that I loved him too. I had never texted a message so quickly before in my life. I hope it all made sense to him.

  Walker, I love you too! So much that it hurts. Please forgive me for leaving you again. It was not my intention. Sadly, my hands were tied, and I had no choice. Samuel showed up in New York and took Riley and me to the Caribbean. In only a matter of a few days, I fear Samuel has changed into someone I don’t recognize. I have to be very careful with him, Walker. Please understand what I may have to do in order to return home to you. You have my heart…always remember that. I love you…Reese.

  Once I hit the send button, I deleted my message to Walker. I was going out of my mind here on this island. I had to check on Riley. She cried herself to sleep last night, and Samuel prevented me from checking on her. I tiptoed past the bed and was almost out the door when he called out to me.

  “Reese, where are you going?”

  Stay calm, Reese. “Good morning, Samuel. I was just going to check on our daughter. I was trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t wake you.”

  “Come here, Reese”

  “I’ll be right back. Let me just see if Riley is up yet.”

  “Reese, I won’t ask you again, Come here.”

  Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes, but I managed to hold them back. I won’t betray Walker again by giving Samuel my body. I slowly walked over to him, and Samuel reached out to me. Instead of forcefully pulling me down, he gently took me into his arms and held me.

  “I love you, Reese. I’m sorry I was never the husband you wanted me to be. I made so many mistakes with you, and I can’t begin to know how to fix them. I know you’re not happy. I would have to be a fool not to know this, but I’m asking you to please try and give me a chance to make our marriage work. Can you try too?”

  Here is my chance to tell him no, but I’m afraid. He’s being the kind man that I know him to be, but also he is probably praying I say yes to him. I have to follow my heart…Please Samuel, don’t hate me.

  “Samuel, I can’t do this anymore. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do, but I can’t remain in a marriage that I’m not happy in. When we get back to Maryland, I want to begin divorce proceedings.”

  Samuel released me and his face had fallen. He got out of bed and ran his fingers through his hair, a clear sign of his frustration and hurt.

  “Reese, how the hell did we get here? You have never given me any indication that you wanted to end our marriage. Why now? What am I missing here? Am I that much of a bastard that you hate me so much to divorce me?”

  “Samuel, I could never hate you. You will always hold a special place in my heart. You gave me Riley, our beautiful daughter.”

  “Yes, our daughter, but what else, Reese? Why can’t you give me your whole heart? I have tried over the years to break down the walls that you so meticulously built around your heart. Why do I have to pay the price for the guy that broke you? I have been here for almost eighteen years. I have been here for you and loved you every single day of it. This is how you repay my love, by asking me for a fucking divorce?”

  Samuel picked up a vase of flowers and threw it against the wall, smashing it into pieces. I jumped from the sound of it and hoped Riley didn’t come running in.

  He took a breath and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just at a loss here. You want me to just walk away from our life together, and for what, Reese? Where will you go? Do you have a plan? Has this been your intention all along?”

  “Samuel, we haven’t been happy for a long time now; you know this to be true. You parade me around at all of your hospital functions as if I’m arm candy instead of your wife. I played the role of the good doctor’s wife for all of these years now. I made you look good. And when you don’t need me to be your trophy wife, you tuck me away and leave me be in our house. It’s a game, Samuel, a part that we both play. I’m done with it, and I just want out.”

  “I can’t even begin to understand you, Reese. This is how you see me and our marriage? You were just a pawn in my chess game? You’re so wrong, but it’s clear to me that you have already made your decision. I can’t force you to stay with me, but I have this sinking feeling that there is more that you’re not telling me. Did you ever love me at all?”

  “Samuel, I never lied to you…not ever. I met you at the lowest point in my life. I had just lost my baby and the man that I loved more than my own life. I never promised you forever, but you still wanted me. Over the years I did grow to love you, but if we are being completely honest here, I’m not in love with you. I never was.”

  Smack right across my cheek. I fell back onto the bed, and Samuel leaned over me.

  “Damn you, woman, and your fucking heart. I love you, and I would have done anything for you. How can you break me down like this? I’m a doctor, I heal people. I would never think of ever hurting anyone, and in the course of a few days, I have become somebody I don’t even recognize. You have done this to me, Reese, because you won’t stay with me. What makes him so special that no man can hold a candle to him? Tell me, Reese, why after all of these years, you can’t let this man go? He abandoned you and left you with nothing but a broken heart. Here you are now, willing to give up everything for a man that you haven’t seen in years.”

  “Get away from me! Don’t you ever lay your hands on me again! You’re wrong, Samuel, he didn’t abandon me…I abandoned him. I told you what his father made me do. I should have been stronger and fight for the man that I loved, but I was weak! I was the one that left him! Please don’t make me hate you, Samuel. I am not trying to hurt you, but you never listen to me. I have tried over the years to talk to you and make you see how unhappy I was. You always would convince me that it was all in my head and we would be fine. It’s not in my head, and it’s certainly not in my heart. I will always be thankful to you for the kindness you showed me when I lost my baby, and the friendship that followed. Having Riley, our beautiful daughter, has been my greatest joy in my life. For that reason alone, I can never repay you, but to stay in a marriage because of that reason, is no way to live.”

  I rubbed my sore cheek and continued. “You deserve someone who truly loves you, Samuel. Loves you for you, and not because of what you do, or your social standing. This is how we are perceived by the outside world. You’re a rock star at Johns Hopkins, and I’m the groupie. Don’t you understand what I’m telling you? I love you enough to let you go and be happy with someone that will value your heart. Please, Samuel, give me the same respect, and do the same for me.”

  I had nothing to lose at this point. After Samuel hit me, I knew we had reached the point of no return. I turned away from him and walked out of the bedroom. I checked on Riley to find her still asleep holding the New York Yankees teddy bear Jackson had given her. Riley, an Oriole’s fan, enjoyed teasing Jackson with his Yankees.

  When we arrived at our New York hotel a few days ago, a basket of treats and flowers were waiting for us, along with this teddy bear for Riley. Jackson’s card was so adorable, it made Riley blush and smile.

  Riley held the bear to her chest and began jumping up and down. She reminded me so much of the way I was when I was younger and in love with Walker. Now that I knew that Jackson was his son, it’s no wonder how Riley had fallen so much in love with him. Jackson was his father’s son, dripping with charm and passion. I bent down to kiss my daughter. Oh baby, you will get your happy ending, I promise you. I will never let you repeat the mistakes that I made. Jackson loves you, and you will see him soon.

  “Mom, is that you?”

  “Yes, baby it is. I didn’t mean to wake you. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, mom. I just wish I could understand what is hap
pening? Why has daddy gone off the deep? Oh mom, what happened to your face? Did daddy hit you?”

  “Yes, he did, but I’m fine. I will explain everything to you, I just can’t right now. Please dry your eyes and don’t argue with your father. He’s hurting right now, and that’s my fault. He loves you Riley, please believe that.”

  I have maneuvered around one storm, but how will Samuel react when he finds out who Jackson really is?

  “Okay, mom I will for you.”

  “Thank you, baby. Why don’t you shower and get dressed? We can talk over breakfast and hopefully make arrangements to leave here today.”

  The boat arrived at our dock with our ordered breakfast. The wait staff came in to set-up our table. I wished I could enjoy this beautiful place, but without Walker here to share it with, all I wanted to do was leave as soon as possible. Riley came out fresh from her shower. The only evidence of her tough night was her puffy eyes.

  “I’m starving, mom. Please tell me you ordered pancakes.”

  “Yes, all of your favorites are here. I’m going to check on your father and ask him to join us.”

  I made my way back into the bedroom and found Samuel dressed and packed. I asked, “Where are you going?”

  “Are you really going to ask me that, Reese? I never envisioned this trip turning out this way, but you made your decision, so why should I stay? The villa is paid up for the rest of the week, should you choose to stay.”

  “Samuel, please don’t leave this way.”

  “Leave what way, Reese? You have made it clear that you don’t want me or our marriage, so again I ask you, why stay?”

  I’m silent. Samuel walked over to me and caressed my cheek that he smacked.

  He continued, “You will never know how sorry I am for hitting you. I hope you can forgive me for this and the way I behaved the day you left for New York. No matter what you believe Reese, I truly do love you, and you will always be my wife in my heart. You were never a trophy to me. It’s my fault that I never cherished you for the true treasure you are.”

  “I’m so sorry, Samuel. I hope one day we can be the friends we once were.”

  “Me too, baby, me too.”

  We held each other and let go of the hurt that was between us. I had already forgiven Samuel for what he had done. He’s a good man and a good father.

  My heart always belonged to Walker, but that didn’t mean I could just erase Samuel altogether. He had been a part of me for way too long, and we had Riley to always connect us. After we broke apart, Samuel kissed my cheek and then my forehead.

  “I need some time with Riley. Reese, how do I even begin to make her understand that we’re not going to be a family anymore?”

  “Samuel, you don’t have to say anything right now. Let’s just go have breakfast with her. She’s confused as it is, and I can’t bear to see her cry again. Please let her be for now, and when the time is right, I will talk with her.”

  “GOOD MORNING, SWEETHEART,” I said to Riley at the table. I walked over to kiss our daughter on her cheek, but she turned away. I guess I deserved the cold reception. “Riley, please don’t ignore me. I want to talk to you.”

  “Hi, daddy.”

  “Honey, I want to apologize for taking your phone yesterday. I planned on making this trip special for all of us to share and have a good time, but it hasn’t exactly turned out to be as I wanted it.”

  “Daddy, what do you expect? You practically forced us out of New York, and you wouldn’t listen when I told you that I made plans with Jackson and how my trip was extended. You wouldn’t even let me call him to say goodbye. God knows what he is thinking right now. Daddy, Jackson loves me and I love him, but now that I have run off without a word, I can’t imagine what he’s thinking of me and my behavior.”

  “Here’s your phone, Riley. Please call Jackson and work things out with him. If I have to, I will get on the phone and personally apologize as well.”

  “Thank you, daddy.”

  I gave Riley time to scroll through her messages and listen to her voicemails. I poured myself a cup of coffee. Reese remained silent as I looked at our daughter despondently. The realization had finally hit me. I lost my family, and it’s all due to my selfishness. I took them for granted when I should have always put my family first. Here is my daughter about to graduate high school and go off to college. She’s in love and is beyond happy. All I have left is my work, but who will I talk to when I arrive home after a long surgery? Or help me get over a loss of a patient? I will be left to grieve alone in an empty house that used to be a home.

  “Did you get in touch with Jackson?”

  “I left him a message, I know he will call me once he gets it.”

  “Well, we never finished our conversation about your trip. Tell me more about your new school and everything you did.”

  “Daddy, I pretty much told you everything. I love NYU, Jackson took me all over the city, and I met some great people.”

  “Tell me about Jackson’s family. What are his parents like?”

  “Jackson only has his father. His mom died while giving birth to him. She suffered a massive stroke and was put on life support to deliver him by caesarian section. Jackson gets checked out yearly because of his family history.”

  “That’s heartbreaking, honey. Jackson shared that with you?”

  “Of course, he told me everything about his family. Sadly, he lost his grandfather last month. He suffered his second heart attack and was rushed to the hospital where he later died.”

  “Again, that’s terrible honey. Your young man has seen his share of loss in his life. How is his relationship with his father? Are they close?”

  “Jackson and his father are extremely close. From what Jackson tells me, and what I’ve seen, they pretty much have a solid bond between them.”

  “What does his father do?”

  “His father is in real estate and development. They build industry, or something like that.”

  I laughed lightly at Riley. She truly was adorable when telling a story.

  She continued, “Jackson and I had an amazing time when his father took us to dinner at Brasserie Les Halles. I just wish mom and Jackson’s father had a better time. We were getting whiplash watching them spar with each other.”

  What the hell does that mean? “I’m sorry, honey, but what do you mean by them sparring with each other? Did Jackson’s father say something offensive to your mother?”

  “No daddy, nothing like that, it was just tense between them. When I met his father, he kind of stared at me for a minute until Jackson had elbowed him to snap him out of it. His father just said that I reminded him of someone he used to know. Then it really got strange when mom arrived. He stared at her as if he already knew her. Mom behaved the same way, which was really strange. They both attended NYU, but mom explained that she didn’t graduate with him.”

  Please let it not be him. It can’t be after all of these years. It just can’t be him. “Well, it sounds like a very interesting encounter. Riley, what did you say Jackson’s father’s name was?”

  “I didn’t, daddy, but his name is Walker Reed.”

  I stood silent and motionless, but my mind was spinning out of control. Oh my god, this is the same Walker Reed who designed and built my hospital wing. Reese never knew who was behind the expansion project. I never told her in fear she would leave me then. Oh my god! Now my precious daughter is dating his son. I can’t even begin to understand this. This is the same man that Reese was in love with and still is today. She’s leaving me for him.

  “Daddy, are you okay? You look kind of green.”

  If my daughter only knew half of it. “I’m fine sweetheart, I just need to talk with your mother. Can you do me a favor, and give me some alone time with her?”

  “Sure I can, I’ll just take a walk on the beach.”

  I waited and watched Riley walk far enough away from the villa, and then I walked toward the bedroom to talk to my beloved wife. I crossed my arm
s and waited as Reese added her things to her suitcase.

  I said to her, “Don’t rush on my account, we have all the time in the world to talk.”

  “Samuel, I thought you were going to head to the airport for home. Isn’t that what you told me?”

  “Yes, I did. But there has been a change of plans now, so I’m in no hurry to leave, especially when I want to hear all about your time spent in New York.”

  “I told you everything, Samuel. What more do you want to know?”

  “How about you tell me more about Walker Reed, and the fact that he is the father of our daughter’s boyfriend? He is the same man that is responsible for my new hospital wing and is the same man that is taking you from me. I’d say we have plenty to talk about, wouldn’t you agree, darling? Were you ever going to tell me about this, Reese? Was it a happy reunion for you two? Did you fuck him? Why didn’t you tell me, Reese? Now I understand why you want a divorce. But let me tell you something, my darling wife, hell will freeze over before I divorce you and hand you back to him. You’re my wife! And you damn well are going to stay that way.”

  “No, I’m not, Samuel. I’m leaving here today, and I’m taking Riley with me. I asked you for a divorce before I even knew about Walker. I was as shocked as he was to see me.”

  “Did you fuck him, Reese? Was he everything you remembered him to be?”

  “I’m not doing this with you, Samuel. It’s over, and I meant what I said. I’m leaving”

  “The hell you are, Reese. You are mine!”

  “No, I’m not! Please let me pass.”

  “Did you fuck him, Reese? How many times did he make you come? Was it like two souls reuniting again?”

  I LISTENED TO Samuel taunt me and try to break me down, but not this time. I am not that broken girl anymore. Not like my mother. This time I will fight.