by Holly Rayner
"It's a very bold look," Tehar said with a chuckle. "You should wear them on set."
"Oh no," Kathy laughed. "Actually, I think they would look much better on you."
She took them off and stood on her toes to put them on Tehar, who held obligingly still, grinning.
"Oh yeah, definitely," Kathy confirmed. "That's your look. You should keep them. In fact, I insist we get a photo right now."
She dragged him off, laughing, to the photo spot, where he insisted that, if he was going to wear the shades, she had to wear the blindfold tie. Amber from HR gladly loaned it to them while they had their photo taken, Kathy gleefully encouraging Tehar into cheesy prom night poses.
After that, Amber had set up a little charity auction. Most of the items up for bid were fairly simple: a coconut cake that Tehar tripled the starting bet on immediately, a giant stuffed bear, more of the rum balls from the genius in accounting, an incredibly goofy lingerie set.
The item that went for the most was the promise of a massage from Tammy in meteorology. The bidding war over that had been fierce. Kathy watched Tammy practically glowing with satisfaction as the price rose, and wondered if maybe she shouldn't have gone into weather.
Tehar lost the cake but won the giant bear, which he presented to Kathy with a slightly wobbly bow. Kathy accepted it with an equally unsteady curtsy. They'd both definitely had too much champagne.
So far, no one had really used the little dance floor except for a brief, embarrassing chicken dance interlude, but the two of them stumbled out onto it as a familiar ballad began to play. Kathy wasn't much of a dancer, but Tehar clearly had ballroom dancing experience. Even as tipsy as they both were, he had perfect form, leading her in a graceful, looping waltz across the floor. Kathy felt like a princess.
"Thank you for staying with me tonight," Tehar said as they spun, the cheap fairy lights above them twinkling like stars. "I haven't had this much fun in a while."
"Well, I couldn't leave the father of my future child alone on Valentine's Day," Kathy said with a grin, her voice low and conspiratorial. Tehar looked mildly embarrassed. "Thank you for coming back. And for all the phone calls and everything. When you left so soon after making the decision, I was worried…"
"That I would back out?" Tehar guessed.
"No." Kathy shook her head, searching for the right words in her slightly fuzzy brain. "I was worried that that was just how it was going to be. I want this to be a business arrangement, but I guess I didn't want it to be so impersonal that we didn't really talk or spend time together except for making decisions. I guess I'm indecisive."
"It's a rare person who knows exactly what they want," Tehar replied. "There's nothing wrong with changing your mind."
"In this instance, there are a few things wrong," Kathy murmured.
"Not with wanting to be more involved," Tehar spoke softly, his eyes strangely intense.
He guided her through a fanciful spin, the kind that made her wish she was wearing a ball gown that could fan out around her, then he pulled her close. Suddenly, his eyes were so close to her own that she could look nowhere else. Her heart seemed to stop in her chest. She could feel his beating, loud as her own in her ears. His hand was on the small of her back, holding her tightly against him, strong and warm. She might not have known what she wanted, but, for a moment, she was sure they both wanted the same thing.
Then he cleared his throat and stepped back, letting her go. She could almost see things closing off behind his eyes, like curtains being drawn.
"Don't do that," she said, surprised by the sound of yearning in her own voice as she reached for him. "Don't go away."
"I'm right here," Tehar replied. "I'm not going anywhere."
She shook her head.
"You always do that," she said. "You keep yourself so far removed from everything around you. What happened that you feel like you have to stay so distant? You can be here, with me."
Her hand was on his cheek, his skin warm under her fingers, his pulse racing. She could feel it in his chest where her other hand rested. He held on to his self-control just long enough for them to slip out of the conference room and into the hall.
In the dark of the studio hallway, he pressed her against a closed door, his hunger for her suddenly voracious, uncontainable. Kathy felt her heart leap at the thrill as her back met the wood, and then his mouth was on hers and she could think of nothing else.
He was taller than her, his body a warmth that seemed to surround her, consuming her in a world of his touch and his heat and the spicy scent of his cologne. One hand was on her hip, squeezing, pressing her up against him, the other in her hair, pulling her closer.
There was a clumsiness to the desperation of it, the press of his teeth sharp, their breath ragged when they stopped long enough to take it. It was so far removed from his usual aloof formality that it left Kathy stunned and intrigued.
His lips found her throat and Kathy bit off a moan, remembering how exposed they were, even in this shaded hallway. Tehar seemed to remember at the same time, but couldn't make himself pull away. Instead, he picked her up, continuing to kiss her as he fumbled his way down the hall and forced open the door to his office.
He shoved everything off of his desk with one impatient sweep of his arm and laid Kathy across it, the cool wood a shock against her skin as his kisses fell from her mouth to her throat to her breast.
She shouldn't be doing this. She knew it was a mistake. She wasn't so drunk that she couldn't control herself. But she wanted this, wanted him. She had for a long time. And to have him suddenly so close was a temptation she couldn't refuse.
She gave in.
No longer just reacting, she pulled at his clothing, eager to feel his skin under her hands. She roamed the plains of his chest, muscles of his arms and stomach, enjoying the way they leapt when she trailed delicate fingernails across them.
He held her so tightly it was though he were afraid if he loosened his grip for even a moment she would melt away. But she wasn't going anywhere. There was nowhere she'd rather be. Her hands caught his hair and pulled him down against her and she released a needy, fluttering moan, the first of many.
By the time they regained their self-control, they were both quite sober and the party had long since ended. Alone, they slipped through the dark, empty building as he walked her to her car.
"Come home with me," Tehar asked, his eyes still intense. She could feel the heat there like she could still feel the ghost of his lips on her skin. He held her hand, reluctant even now to let go.
"I shouldn't," she said, better sense winning out despite how much of her wanted to banish it forever. "I want to, but…"
He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again she could already see him distancing himself. He nodded and let her hand slip out of his.
"You're right," he agreed. "I think we both know that this should never have happened."
"I'm glad it did," Kathy said softly and a flash of something almost like pain crossed Tehar's face. He pulled her closer and pressed a brief, chaste kiss to her cheek.
"Be safe," he said, stroking her hair as he stepped away. Then he hurried off to his car, leaving her alone in the suddenly very cold parking lot. Kathy drove home with nothing but him in her thoughts.
She opened her apartment door to find Tessa asleep on her couch, surrounded by the remains of their Valentine's feast. A classic horror flick was still playing on the TV. Kathy tried not to wake her friend but stumbled taking off her shoes.
"You're back!" Tessa said, sitting up and rubbing at her eyes, her voice gravely. "How'd it go? What time is it?"
She checked her watch and swore.
"Wow! You must have gone more rounds than a championship boxer. Congrats!"
"Can we not talk about it?" Kathy pleaded, embarrassed and a little heartbroken.
"What happened?" Tessa asked, picking up on Kathy's feelings at once. "I thought you'd be happy. You've had a crush on that guy for ages."
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Kathy shook her head and sank onto the sofa, realizing she did need to talk about it, as much as she didn't want to.
"Yeah, and I never acted on it because it wouldn't work. He's my boss. He built this company on his reputation. Neither of us would risk our careers on an inter-office relationship. It's just not going to happen."
"But it did happen," Tessa pointed out. "It just happened! It's obvious you both want this. It should have been obvious when you decided to have a baby together."
"That's different," Kathy said in flat denial. "And tonight was a mistake. It won't happen again."
"And why's that?" Tessa asked.
"Because I know what I want," Kathy said firmly. "I want my career. I want this baby with no strings attached. I got turned around because I thought I wanted a relationship too, but those things just aren't compatible. Especially not with him. Tomorrow, it's going to be like this never happened, and we'll go back to the business relationship which is all both of us wanted in the first place."
"Is that really what you want?" Tessa asked. "Really?"
"Yes," Kathy said, trying to convince herself as much as Tessa. "We can't be together and have what we want. That's all there is to it."
She went to bed and slept restlessly, tossing and turning for an hour as she fought with herself over what she really wanted. When she did sleep, she dreamed of Tehar. She dreamed of being with him in a world where only they existed, where the only thing that mattered was her hands on his body, his lips on her skin, their limbs tangled around each other forever. It didn't make things any easier when she woke up.
Chapter Eight
At work, Kathy learned that Tehar had left on the first flight that morning, back to Abu Sadah on some family business. She worried if Shadaf was all right, but she didn't dare text Tehar to ask.
There was going to be no more talking to him about anything that wasn't related to work or the baby. She'd made up her mind. That last pained look he'd given her before they separated the night before haunted her, but she told herself that they both knew it wasn't possible. They both had things that were simply more important.
It was a long, exhausting day. Kathy was a little hungover and preoccupied with her situation. She went through the motions of her work, unable to focus. Near the end of the day, she took a break, hoping the fresh air would clear her head.
She shouldered her way through the heavy parking lot door, making sure the brick was in place to hold it open. It was another unseasonably warm day. Her mood wanted it to be gray and overcast, but the sky was as cheerfully blue as ever, oblivious to the plight and personal struggles of the people living under it.
The birds still sang; the flowers still bloomed in reckless profusion, coating the barren parking lot in petals like a snow drift. Kathy leaned against the wall and watched them stir in the hot, listless breeze. Her brain kept turning the problem over in her head, again and again, looking for another angle, a different solution. She tried to force the thoughts away. This was how it had to be. She wasn't going to risk her career over a man, not even one as gorgeous and perfect as Tehar. Their single night of passion had been risky enough.
She heard the scrape of the metal door opening and looked over, expecting an intern telling her she was needed back on set. Instead, she saw Mitchell swaggering out. From how smug he looked, she worried she hadn't succeeded in protecting the interns from him last night after all. Then he turned that nasty grin on her and Kathy realized that this, whatever it was, was personal.
"Morning, Kathy," he said.
"Morning, Mitchell," she replied, suspicious.
"Beautiful morning, right?" He nodded his head towards the parking lot without looking. "But you seem distracted today. Everything all right?"
"Everything's fine," she answered, wondering why he was burying the lead like this. "I just have a lot on my mind. I should probably get back to—"
"That was some party last night," Mitchell went on, ignoring her. "Seems like you had a good time."
He gave her a significant look, and Kathy felt her heart speed up. She kept her expression flat, unimpressed.
"It seems like you and the chairman were getting along great," he said casually. "Really getting into the spirit of the holiday, you know?"
Kathy's nostrils flared as she fought the urge to hit him and run. She said nothing.
"I mean, hooking up at the office party is kind of par for the course," Mitchell said with a laugh, finally getting to the point as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "But I think you two might have broken some kind of record."
Kathy's blood ran cold as Mitchell began playing a video on his phone and she heard the distinctive sound of her own moans. Tehar spoke her name in a breathless whisper, and Kathy snatched the phone out of Mitchell's hand and threw it hard onto the pavement, stomping on it with all the power in her sturdy, office-appropriate heels. Mitchell laughed.
"That's all right, sweetheart," he said. "I've got plenty of copies. This isn't going away, sugar. Not for a while."
"What do you want?" Kathy spat like the words were venomous, fear battling her righteous anger.
"I already got everything I want," he said. "As of this moment, you're suspended, indefinitely. You're just too much of a liability to keep around, you know? We can't afford any scandals around here."
He chuckled, clearly pleased with himself. Kathy wanted to punch him more than she'd ever wanted anything else in her life.
"The Sheikh will—" she started to say.
"The Sheikh won't do anything." He cut her off with a snap of sudden, real anger. "Unless he wants his perfect reputation and yours flushed down the toilet, he'll stay in the desert where he belongs. You tell him, he comes back to this studio, to this state, if he ever interferes with my business again in any way, I will post this video everywhere, and I will make damn sure he never works again. Understood, sweet cheeks?"
Kathy's fists clenched. She was already suspended, and he probably couldn't call the cops without revealing the leverage he had over her. It was all the permission Kathy needed to pull back and plant her fist just as deep in his nose as she was able. She heard the satisfying crunch of it breaking, and Mitchell stumbled back, dazed and swearing and bleeding.
Kathy didn't wait for him to recover. She stormed off to her car and left, anger a boiling fog in her brain. She didn't even remember getting home. One minute she was pulling out of the parking lot, the next she was slamming her apartment door so hard that the print of her favorite painting fell off the wall, the glass front of the frame shattering loudly.
The anger drained out of her slowly. She stumbled into her bedroom and locked the door, flopping onto her bed.
There was nothing she could do. All avenues had, with the sudden finality of a guillotine, been closed to her all at once. She couldn't be with Tehar. Her career was over. She probably wouldn't even be able to have the baby. All because of her stupid father's stupid will.
Why had he done this to her? What had caused the cruel, senseless impulse that had made him think he should force his daughter, practically a stranger to him at that point, to have a baby or give up her home and everything else he'd ever built for her? What had he wanted from her?
Tears stung her eyes and she hid them in her pillow. She'd probably never understand. She'd barely known him. She'd always thought he wanted her to follow in his footsteps, to become a great journalist like him.
For the first few years after she got her start, she'd sent him her articles and TV spots, half out of spite ("See how much I've accomplished without you? I don't care that you left. I never needed you.") and half out of a desperate, terrible desire for his approval. He'd never responded at all. She'd never known how he felt about her progress. And now, she never would.
Unless this, this bear trap of a will, this spike pit he'd pushed her into, was his response after all. And the truth was he didn't approve, he never had. He'd been disappointed in her the whole time. She'd never be good enough to follow
him, and the only way to get her to let go of her stupid, futile dreams, was to saddle her with a kid and force her to settle down.
Was that what he wanted? Was that what her father had thought of her? The thought made her want to break something more. Instead, she choked on the anger and buried herself in her blankets.
There was a tap on her door.
"Kathy?"
It was Tessa. Kathy said nothing.
"Kathy, are you okay? There's broken glass all over the floor. Should I call the hospital?"
Silence.
"If you don't answer soon, I'm going to call 911."
"I'm fine," Kathy shouted. "I'm fine. Please just…go away."
Tessa considered it for a long moment.
"Okay," she called through the door at last. "I'll leave you alone. I'm going to clean up this glass first, though. And I'll come back in a few hours. You can text me if you decide you want to talk, okay?"
"Okay," Kathy replied. She could almost feel Tessa's reluctance as she left the door. She heard the shuffling sound of Tessa sweeping up the broken glass, then the quiet click of the front door.
Silence descended, and Kathy suddenly didn't know what to do with herself. Her head hummed with a dozen desperate, angry sorrows like frantic insects flinging themselves against the inside of her head, bouncing off the lights of her eyes.
She wanted to do something, anything, to fix this, but she lay paralyzed instead. There was nothing to do. There was nothing she could do at all.
Tessa did come back in a few hours, but Kathy still wasn't ready to talk to her. She told her that she just wanted to sleep, and Tessa reluctantly left again, promising to come back in the morning.
Kathy got up long enough to take off her clothes, an achievement really considering how she felt, then crawled back under the covers and proceeded to lay there, worrying and wondering and wishing she could just close her eyes and go to sleep.
But sleep eluded her for most of the night. It wasn't until sunrise that she finally dozed off for a few hours. She dreamed of chasing her father through a dark thicket, all tangled thorns and snaring branches that slowed her down. There was something awful hunting her, an ugly beast with dripping jaws, but she knew if she could just catch her father, they could fight it together. But she could never catch him.