by Jenny Brex
***
“Looks like snow,” Jake said, looking for safe ground.
She still wore the chip on her shoulder. “It’s Alaska. It always looks like snow.”
They drove the rest of the way in silence. Jake pulled into her driveway and handed her the take-out box. “This is for your father. I’ll wait here.”
Keyoni sighed. “Fine.”
She wasn’t going to make it easy on him. The betrayal took her off-guard. Okay, so it wasn’t some cataclysmic betrayal, but he set her up. She wasn’t sure she could take what he said at face value. How could she trust anything he said? And what was the nonsense about the fated mate garbage? Was that even true? She tried to remember when her mother would talk about shifter things to her, but it was all a blur.
Her mom would be home the following day. She’d see if she was up to talking. Maybe her mother could help her sort out the odd thoughts flitting about, though she didn’t want to bother her. She needed rest. Keyoni was still amazed at the miraculous turnaround she’d made. Here she thought she’d be saying good-bye to her mother, but instead her life was renewed.
How could she not want to know more about her bear after her mother’s comments?
She went inside to drop off the container to her father. Grabbing a heavier jacket, she made her way outside once again. She went up to his driver’s side door. “Let’s walk.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “It will be easier to talk if that’s not all I’m doing.”
He shrugged. “Sure.”
Jake turned off the engine and slipped out of his truck to join her.
She took note of what he was wearing from earlier in the day. “Will you be warm enough?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
“I’m not used to having friends, let alone boyfriends, or people who want to spend time with me. That alone is weird, okay? Obviously, you know why I ended up that way. I was happier alone. It was easier than being hurt. And then today, it was so nice to talk and shift and feel, I don’t know…almost normal.”
He waited for her to finish. “It was nice, but is it something you could get used to, or have you shut down on the idea of friends?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I had acquaintance through school, I’d talk to people from time to time, I wasn’t a recluse. It was more that I kept an emotional distance. I probably always will.”
“Does that bother you?” he asked.
“It’s all I know. It’s who I am. So does it bother me? No, but do I realize I missed out on a few things in life, sure.”
“I’ve never known life outside of Alaska. I only know what’s here. I don’t really have a desire to travel the world like others do. I like where I’m at and it’s enough for me.”
“Aren’t you curious?” she asked.
“That’s what TV shows are for. Hell, I’ll watch National Geographic or something. I just don’t have the desire to go all over. I guess I like the comfort of home. The unexpected stirs me up in a way that’s nothing but anxiety.”
“Well, they only show you one side. Like in Hawaii, they’ll show you the tourist stuff and palm trees, but they don’t tackle the homeless issues we had.”
“Fair enough.”
“Look, I’ll give you a few more minutes, but I really don’t see any point in this discussion. And, I’m still angry.”
“Because somebody wanted to spend time with you?”
She looked away. “That’s your perspective.”
“What’s yours?” he nudged.
“You mean the part where somebody was going to harass me, and show up unwanted to spend time with me when I’d specifically told him to go away and leave me alone?”
“Wow, you make it sound so crass…” She was stubborn and hard to deal with. He needed her to see it was a compliment, not a trick.
Keyoni glanced over. “How else do you expect me to see it?”
“As a compliment? I want to be around you. Is that a crime?”
“Hardly a compliment when it’s coming from one of my childhood bullies.”
Jake grew annoyed. “I’ve apologized. I was wrong, but I was also twelve. I didn’t have the maturity to understand I’d impact you for years to come. There must be some sort of curved learning there, yes? I mean, sure, it sucked, I was mean. I admitted to that, but it’s not like I was thirty. I was a kid, other kids were doing it, I went along. It wasn’t right, but you’ve got to allow for the fact that I’d barely hit puberty at that point.”
She looked away. “It still hurt.”
“I’m sorry. Truly, I am. There’s nothing else I can say about that.”
“Whatever,” she said. “So, what’s this nonsense bear stuff you were talking about?”
“It’s like your human side, only stronger. As a man, I’m attracted to you. You’re pretty and obviously smart. That’s human nature. My bear has a more primal sense. It’s a biological need. He recognizes something in you that’s more than I can see with my eyes. Whether it’s a scent, a look, a vibe, hell, I don’t understand it, but it’s like the world’s strongest magnet is pulling you to somebody. My bear is telling me that you are my mate, the one I’m supposed to be with. My one and only. And if you weren’t a shifter, I know you’d think I was plum crazy, but you have to at least grasp a little of what I’m saying, right?”
“But how does your bear know he’s right? He could be wrong. And how did he tell you this? Or is this some clever farce again on your part?”
Jake sighed. “Keyoni, I’ve never worked this hard to just talk to a girl. Why on earth would I put myself through this? You obviously want nothing to do with me. That’s where my problem comes in. My bear won’t let go. As a man, I can logically say, she’s not interested. My bear on the other hand just says – ‘mine, mine, mine, mine’ – and I can’t turn that off.”
“Mine? So your bear is a dominating, chauvinistic variety of bear? Does he think he owns me or something?”
“You studied bears. You tell me.” He didn’t know what else to say.
She stopped in her tracks. “I don’t really associate shifter bears with regular bears.”
“Wait a minute. Why not? I’ve obviously got grizzly DNA in me.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was easier to separate the thoughts. It’s not like they’re teaching shifter stuff at universities. Most people wouldn’t believe it if I told them. They’d think it was some fairytale bullshit. My mother is a shifter, but I see her, visualize her, think of her as a person. Kind of odd, now that I think about it.”
“But you grew up as…”
“No, I didn’t. I left, remember. Then I shoved down any attempt of my bear to show itself. I cut my bear off.”
“I can’t imagine how painful that must have been.”
“In Hawaii, I didn’t need it. I was better off without it, or so I thought. Now, I look back and see how much I needed that connection with my bear.”
“My bear needs you.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”
Chapter 12
“I can’t change your past, but maybe I can change your future,” he started.
Keyoni groaned sarcastically. “Oh, yes, the magic of a big cock will forever heal me. That’s all I’ve needed all along. What have you been reading? Did you break into your mom’s stash of romance books and think that you’d be the perfect reformed rake or something? Maybe it was your dad who read them, who knows. Either way, you’ve been misinformed. There is no such thing as magic pussy or magic dick. Just because you’re interested, it doesn’t change a thing.”
“Why are you spending time talking to me? Why not just close that door?”
“You mean, like I’m about to?”
He shook his head. “Your bear needs me as much as mine needs you. We were meant to be together. You just aren’t in touch with your bear to understand. Don’t you see how we connected and enjoyed one another earlier? It’s there. A spark you want to deny.”
&nbs
p; “I don’t have time for this. I gave you a few minutes, but I’ve got to get ready for my mom coming back from the hospital and then I’m going on to do my research. We talked. We’re done talking. You, me, it’s not there. It’s some figment of your imagination.” She turned to go home.
He had to think of something, anything, to stop her from leaving. “Keyoni, wait. If you’re so convinced there’s nothing between us, kiss me. One single kiss. If you can walk away and deny there’s a spark, I’ll leave you alone.”
“I’m not going to kiss you,” she shot out.
“Because you’re afraid that I’m right,” Jake challenged.
“You really are a pain in the ass, you know that?” She moved in closer, grabbed his face between her hands more out of frustration than anything, and laid one on him.
The fire that engulfed Jake moved his world. He wrapped his arms up and around her and tenderly nibbled. Pushing his tongue between her ruby-pink lips, he knew with everything that he was that Keyoni was meant to be his.
Like a bird learning to fly, Keyoni’s heart soared. A warm sensation rushed through her. Everything felt right when she kissed him. She didn’t want him to let go. His lips against hers, his tongue exploring her mouth, she didn’t want it to end. Instead, she jerked away and lied. “Nothing. Now leave me alone.”
Jake’s heart shattered to the ground in pieces. He knew she felt it. He did too. Together, they were one, bound in a biological response that was bigger than either of them. Yet how could he demand she admit it, when she’d given her final answer? Jake nodded quietly. “I’ll walk you home.”
This wasn’t part of her carefully laid plan. She had research to do. She had another country to study in later. She wasn’t supposed to feel something when her childhood bully kissed her. It would have knocked her off of her feet if she hadn’t steeled herself. How could she deny the spark…hell, the blast that sizzled through her like a furnace? And yet, there was no other choice. None of it made sense. What? Just because her bear or his bear said so? No, she was logical and had a career, and she wanted nothing to do with this guy – but holy hell, she wanted another kiss.
Her body and mind betrayed her. It wasn’t right, wasn’t fair. He was the last person in the world she should want to spend time with. He was the last person in the world she should want to kiss again. Why? The torment was unbearable.
As her mind soared on the high, she reeled it back in and shut it down. No. She’d cut her emotions off. She knew how. It’s what got her through all of those years. She’d function, but feeling things? No, all it did was cause pain. It was as if her brain made a false conclusion while clouded and confused.
She couldn’t very well admit to him that she’d sensed a spark, too. Okay, so sensed was a little bit of an understatement; she’d been hit over the head fully and completely in a manner that almost made her knees buckle, but it didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t mean anything. She wouldn’t let it.
On arriving home, she closed the door behind her and let him walk out of her life. It was better this way.
***
Jake stared at the door. Nope. No. He couldn’t leave. Not yet. He knew there was something between them. He raised his fist and knocked on the door.
When she opened it, she looked surprised to see him, and yet she’d only gone inside moments before. “Why are you still here?”
He stepped in closer and placed his hands over her cheeks. He looked deep into her eyes. “We need each other.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Why are you fighting this? I know you feel it too.”
Mr. Kalani called out to his daughter. “Keyoni, is that you?”
She turned her head and spoke over her shoulder. “Yes, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Keyoni, please.”
“You should go.”
“Do you really want me to leave?”
She stepped outside the door and closed it behind her. “I need you to leave. It doesn’t matter what happened between us. Yes, okay, I felt something. Are you happy now? But this…you, me, this can’t happen. My life is neatly planned out. I don’t need a complication.”
“A complication?”
“Yes.”
“It’s too late. We’ve connected. You can’t deny that. How could you deny a chance at happiness?”
“You don’t even know me. You’ve spent, what, a handful of hours with me?”
“My bear knows you. I trust my gut instincts. We’re a pair…fated mates.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Please, just give me more time before you leave.”
Keyoni closed her eyes. “Why? What will it get you? There is no solution where you win.”
“I already have.” He brushed a strand of her long black hair out of her face and over her shoulder.
Keyoni’s lungs refused to function. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart lodged in her throat. Time stood still. Each second moved slower than the one before it. As he moved closer, his hot breath just over her lips, she tried to exhale.
“May I?” he whispered seductively.
The words bathed her in the essence of sensuality, a feeling so unfamiliar, and yet her body blocked her mind’s effort to say no. She nodded silently. She needed another kiss.
Jake slid his tongue over her lip as she parted her mouth to greet him. She wanted to yell and scream and tell him she didn’t want his kiss, but she did. She wanted to pretend like she didn’t care, but she did. She wanted to turn and run inside and hide her desire, but she stayed. She stayed and got drunk on his sweet, tender kiss.
The way he ran his fingers up under her hairline left her in a state of tingles. Tiny currents of electricity jolted her body and mind, and every bit of concern she’d held fell aside. He lured her into a sense of security and desire, something she wasn’t used to. She ached for more.
It didn’t mean anything, right? She didn’t need to accept what he’d told her, but she desperately wanted to accept his company for the time being. The heat between her legs took her by surprise. She arched her back and pressed into him.
Jake wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her closer. This was no small peck on the cheek, but the welcoming embrace of a lover. She didn’t back up, nor ask him to stop. Instead she wrapped her arms around him in kind and lost herself in the heated passion.
Jake drew back the tiniest bit to look at her, but she reached for him.
“Don’t stop,” she pleaded.
He slid his hands to the curve of her back and then past the full globes of her ass. Scooping her up, she wrapped her legs around him, almost instinctively as he pressed her to the doorframe. All of her hostility melted away. It was gone. All that was left was the steam and sultriness of a long awaited kiss.
He nuzzled against her, holding her, whispering. “I want you, Keyoni.”
She cooed. “This can’t change things. It doesn’t, but yes, I feel a spark.”
Jake nibbled and licked her neck. “It changes everything. Don’t you see, we were meant to come together.”
“No,” she said, tipping her head to the side. She closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his mouth against her skin. “It can’t. I’m leaving.”
A car honking startled them. Somebody rolled down their window and shouted, “Get a room!”
Embarrassed, Keyoni jumped down. Her inexperience left her vulnerable, not understanding how good it would feel, and got carried away. She muttered under her breath, “Oh my God.”
“Ignore them,” Jake said, trying to comfort her. He ran his fingers through her hair and gazed into her eyes. “You’re so beautiful. I can’t get enough of you.”
“I have to go, Jake. This…no more, okay? Please respect my wishes.”
He stood staring at the door as she slipped inside and closed it behind her. Just like that, everything that was so close to him collapsed.
Chapter 13
“She feels it too, and yet she’s so damn stubborn. She refuses to admit
it,” he said, venting into his phone.
“It sounds like she needs time,” his mother answered. “How are things otherwise?”
“Good, I’ve picked up a bit more business since the last time I spoke with you. How’s Dad making out?”
“Better. He’s back to work, but after falling off the ladder…well, it took him longer to get better than he’d like. He was grumpy. I’m glad he’s back to himself again. It was scary, though. To be honest, you start to wonder what would happen. We’ve been in financial situations before that were dire, but this…we’re getting to an age where it’s not as easy to get re-hired.”
“Do you need money?”
“That’s sweet, but I won’t take your money. We’re fine. Thankfully, we had good insurance. Do you think you’ll see this girl again?”
“I hope so, Mom, but she’s heading out to an encampment soon for polar research. She’ll be there for a couple of months.”
“That will give you plenty of time to decide what to do. If you’re still pining for her, you know it’s important to you. And if time has passed and you’ve moved on, that solves that.”
“What do you think about fated mates?”
“Nature decides that for us. If she doesn’t sense it, there’s not much you can do. It goes both ways,” she answered.
“She’s been out of touch with her bear for so long. You should have seen her when she finally shifted. She was so full of joy.”
Jake’s mother laughed. “You can’t stop talking about her.”
“Yeah.”
“Hang in there, son. Time has a way of sorting things out.”
“Thanks for listening. I’m going to go take a run, get some of this frustration out. I love you guys. Tell Dad I checked in.”
“Will do, and I love you, too.”
Chapter 14
Keyoni stared at the ceiling. Sleep wasn’t coming easy. Her mind was wrapped around Jake. She reached up and ran her finger over her lips. She could almost feel him kissing her. She closed her eyes and remembered the way he lifted and held her against the doorframe. That tiny movement, holy cow, the giddiness that raced through her was unbelievable. Nobody had ever held her that way, kissed her that way, or made her feel more alive. And still, she had to shut him down.