by Cecy Robson
Then I took a sip of my tea!
Makawee’s eyes widened in time with mine.
I thought I was going crazy. And maybe she did, too, but instead of calling for help or trying to restrain me, the sadness dulling her dark eyes seemed to engulf the room. “The fault is ours alone, Celia,” she said quietly. “Martin and I were never blind to what you and Aric share.”
They why did you keep us apart, bitch?
I clutched the arm of the leather couch and glanced around, certain someone else spoke. But it was my voice!
Makawee stirred her tea, unaware of my venomous thoughts and keeping her voice light as she continued. “Aric had always been strong, intelligent, and confident, a born leader. He was the envy and admiration of all weres, including those who had accomplished tremendous deeds in their lives. Yet there was something always missing, a piece that kept him from desiring to embrace his full potential.”
The gentleness in her tone diminished my bitterness and rising hysteria. I clung to her words like a lifeline. At that moment, I knew she was the only thing keeping me grounded. “P-please continue,” I begged her.
Makawee considered me. I thought I sensed her power reach out to me, which thankfully helped me settle further. It reminded me of the way my mother used to stroke my hair, a feeling so genuine and pure it almost made me cry. She smiled as if she understood, then took a sip of her tea and spoke. “The day Aric first saw you, he returned to the Den an absolute mess. He was inexplicably quiet and didn’t seem to comprehend anything anyone was saying. He spent most of the day staring out in the direction of the lake, the very place he’d found you.” She laughed a little. “His Warriors and students were understandably worried, unsure what ailed their impeccable Leader. But Martin and I knew; we recognized the signs. His wolf had met his mate.”
When Aric expressed the depths of his feelings, he took my breath away. When others told me how much I meant to him, I mostly squirmed and blushed. But to hear it from Makawee was an entirely different experience.
Her retelling of the moment that changed my life was both humbling and a tremendous honor. She recognized that Aric loved me long before he ever told me.
I stared at my hands. Despite how touched I felt, I couldn’t help questioning why she told me. Instead of asking her, I simply remained quiet. Sometimes when you want someone to speak, all you have to do is wait and listen.
This was one of those moments.
“We tried to discourage him from seeking you out, once it was clear you weren’t one of us,” she admitted. “But destiny had other plans.”
Yes. She did.
Makawee shook her head. “Celia, we never meant to hurt you or Aric. Our only intent was to protect our sacred earth as only we as weres believed we could. But I fear our vanity may have destroyed us all.”
I met her eyes. “You think you interfered with destiny?”
“More than that. I believe we poisoned it.” She let out a weary breath. “And hurt our chance to destroy the dark ones.”
Yes. Well done.
Makawee examined me closely when my passing thoughts caused my eyes to widen. But then I realized that despite her apology, she would never understand what her actions, and those of the governing weres, robbed me of.
“I found my mate, a long, long, time ago,” she said slowly, as if acutely aware of what I was thinking. “I met her in passing while visiting London.” She folded her hands on her lap, staring outside the window and losing herself in the memory. “She was waiting for a bus in the pouring rain, without an umbrella or a hat, though she didn’t seem to mind.” Makawee chuckled, yet her laughter was filled with more sadness than any genuine trace of humor. “She probably resembled a drowned rat to anyone passing by. But to me she was the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen. It was only when she hurried onto the bus and looked out the window that she spotted me standing across the street. Our eyes met for one precious moment before the bus sped away.”
“How did you find her again?”
Makawee reached for her now tepid tea and took a sip before answering. “I didn’t.”
I frowned. “You let her go?” I couldn’t believe it. It had only taken one encounter with Aric, and I couldn’t wait to see him again.
Makawee gave me one of her softer smiles. “I was to marry another pureblood that summer. Had I chased the bus like I wanted to, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to fulfill my duties.” Her eyes dropped to stare at her tea. For someone who would maintain most of her strength, agility, and supernatural senses until her death, she appeared so fragile then. “Our obligation to our Pack is ingrained in us from birth, Celia. It’s in our blood, in our very souls. I believed only traitors and cowards abandoned their responsibilities. So I ran in the opposite direction, leaving on the first plane out of London and returning home to marry that pureblood as promised.” She paused. “He didn’t want me, either, and beat me for years to prove it.”
My jaw dropped open. “Makawee, I’m so sorry.”
She patted my hand. “Do not fret over matters long forgotten. I killed him after the birth of our third son. He had served his purpose, just as I had mine.”
This was a prime example of how were laws differed from human laws. Weres carried their own brand of justice.
I watched her take another sip of her tea when curiosity got the best of me. “Do you ever wonder what kind of life you could’ve had if you found your mate?” I asked.
Makawee’s eyes glistened with tears. “Every day,” she answered.
I didn’t cry at movies. I wasn’t into chick lit, but I did care very deeply and I knew too well what it was like to lose someone. “Maybe you can still find her.”
“It’s no longer possible, Celia. She was one of the Tribe’s first victims.” She ran the fingers of her wrinkled hand down her neck. “I felt it when they tore out her throat.”
I stilled, wanting to cry on her behalf. But instead of tears, pitiless thoughts filled my head.
That could have been Aric.
These mongrels kept him from you.
They shoved him into the arms of another.
And sent him to war to die.
I rose and glanced erratically around, trying to understand where those thoughts were coming from. This wasn’t me.
But it was my voice—my fears, my resentment, my anger—magnified and launching forward.
They took him from you.
They ordered him to breed.
They made him suffer.
And now you can’t give them what they need.
“Celia, what is it, child?”
Run.
“I have to—”
Run.
“I need—”
Run.
My breath came out too quickly. Holy shit, I was losing it.
She wants you to suffer.
“Celia, what’s happening?”
She wants you to die.
Makawee’s voice drifted in and out, fighting with mine to make me listen.
Mine won.
Run!
I bolted out of her office and out of the building, crashing right into Aric as he raced toward me.
Chapter 7
Aric’s warmth, his presence, his scent—everything about him should have calmed me. Instead my brain was flooded with images of those weres Lindsey and Dara. As vividly as if they stood in front of me I saw him take turns kissing them as they fondled him. I watched their hands tease and stroke the rising bulge in his jeans. I saw them yank down his waistband. I watched them open their mouths.
“Celia, Celia!” Aric clasped my shoulders. “Celia, what’s wrong?”
My words came out in a choked sob as I wrenched away from him. “How dare you touch me!”
Aric froze before slowly approaching me with his hands out. “Baby, you’re shaking. Tell me what happened.”
I was briefly aware of others close by—Delilah and Betty Sue were there—Genevieve, too. Was Genevieve laughing at me?
&nbs
p; My tears fell despite the growing crowd of weres and witches. “I know about the club, and about those girls who take their turns with you,” I told him, not bothering to keep my voice low.
Aric frowned, more stunned at the accusation than angry. “What? I would never betray you—”
“Don’t lie to me!” I screamed. “I met Lindsey and Dara. They sat on the damn couch waiting for you to show.”
Understanding crossed his features. “Celia, I’ve had nothing to do with them since meeting you. Their presence insults me and disrespects our relationship. I won’t even acknowledge they exist.”
“But you knew about them.” My body grew strangely numb.
Aric worked his jaw. “I knew they were here, but I swear I don’t interact with them.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about them?”
“Because they don’t matter.”
“They matter to me.” My voice cracked. “You should have told me, Aric. All of it. You didn’t have to humiliate me like this.”
My words struck him like a blow. He stared at me, shocked. I stormed to my SUV, ignoring the stares that followed me as I threw open my car door and jumped in. The moment I cranked the engine, I stomped on the accelerator and sped off.
He played you.
You fell for it.
This wasn’t love.
Now you know.
I wiped my tears as each insecurity I’d ever felt dug a hole into my heart.
I floored the accelerator, wanting nothing more than to escape. I had to leave, get out of California. There was nothing for me here.
The gate leading out of the compound clanked shut behind another departing SUV. I was less than a few car lengths behind and had to stomp on the brakes to avoid colliding against the wrought iron bars.
The were guard made no effort to part the gates. Instead he stepped out of his tower and knocked on my window. I lowered it, still on edge and desperate to leave.
He looked down at me like I was something foul and beneath him, disdain deepening his scowl. “Aric says you’re not to leave. He’s coming.”
I slipped out of the car, ready to jump the gate if I had to. “I’m not your hostage. Open the gate.”
“And I’m not one of your bloodsucking pussies you can order around. If the boss says you stay, you stay, freak!”
It wasn’t enough to be rude. Or call me names. Or insult my allies. He poked me hard in the chest to emphasize that he was bigger, stronger, tougher.
His mistake.
I glanced at his beefy finger just once before I grabbed it and twisted it. Bone crunched as I shifted him into the ground up to his neck. I ignored his snarls and stepped into his tower long enough to punch the button to open the gate.
“Who’s the pussy now?” I hissed as I passed him, sticking one of my fingers out of the window.
I was turning onto the dirt path that led down the mountain when a fast-moving object thundering through the woods caught my eye. It was the same something that ran out in front of me. I slammed down on my brakes.
Mud splattered up like a wave, drenching my front windshield. I hit the wipers to find Aric panting back at me with furrowed brows. He must have run full-out to catch me. I was panting, too, from the sheer terror of almost mowing him over.
Kill him.
My head whipped to the side.
Kill him!
I turned, expecting someone to be there behind me.
Kill. Him!
I gripped the wheel. What was happening? That was my voice ordering me. My freaking voice.
Kill him now!
Aric swore, trying to clear his eyes of the mud caking his face. He couldn’t see anything. He was vulnerable.
He deserves to die!
“No!” I roared.
Something ripped from my chest so hard, its sheer force left me momentarily paralyzed. I slumped into the seat, breathing hard.
Aric swore again, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He blinked back at me, trying to clear his vision, then walked around to the passenger side.
I stared blankly ahead, confused. What just happened? I couldn’t remember anything. I didn’t know what day it was, or the time. I’d come with lunch for Aric. I made soup and bread. Why was I driving away? Did we already eat?
Aric reached for the handle, trying to open the door, but the sound seemed to come from far away.
My mind tried to force its way through the fog, showing me flickers of the day.
“Celia, open the door,” Aric said.
His voice was closer, but still further than it should have been. I was mad at him, right? I had fought two weres… the ones who wanted to sleep with him.
Aric tapped on the window. “Celia, please, love. We’ve spent too much time apart. I don’t want to spend the time we have now fighting.”
Wasn’t I just speaking to Makawee?
I couldn’t remember. I only remember the females, and Aric denying he’d been with them.
He’d denied it, right?
Aric knocked again. “Celia, please. Let’s talk.”
I glanced around the cabin, so confused I could barely find the switch to unlock the door.
Yeah. There were two weres and a club devoted to getting him in bed.
He should have told me.
Aric climbed in and angled his body to face me. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant to hurt you.”
When I didn’t answer, he realized I needed a moment. He removed his shirt, keeping his eyes on me as he used the clean side to wipe the mud coating his hair, face, and arms. “I’m sorry,” he said again.
“You should have told me,” I said aloud, my voice thick with tears. “To see them there waiting for you, knowing what they wanted, their bodies barely covered.” I sniffed. “That was a horrible way to find out.”
“I didn’t sleep with Lindsey or Dara, Celia. I swear it.”
“What about the rest?” He opened his mouth to object, but then shut it quickly when something or someone triggered his memory. I smacked my palm against the steering wheel, bending it slightly. “Damnit. How many of them did you sleep with?”
Aric rubbed his eyes. “Celia, don’t do this.”
My face flushed with my growing anger. “Don’t do what? Have an honest conversation with you? Just tell me. What’s the magic number? How many of these goddamn bitches have you screwed?” My breath caught. I wasn’t a perfect person. I did curse, but I wasn’t what most would have considered crass. Nor was I in the habit of yelling at Aric.
My heart slowed to a painful thump. What’s wrong with me?
I tried to settle my tigress, but when I reached in to feel her, I barely registered her presence. She wasn’t the one riled.
It was all me.
Aric turned from me to stare straight ahead. “I don’t want to do this with you, but I won’t lie to you. If you want to know, I’ll tell you.”
The truth was, I didn’t want to know. I knew Aric had slept with a lot of girls before I came along. When he committed to me, I told myself that it didn’t matter. If that was the case, why did I need to know now? “Just tell me.”
He sighed. “The truth is, I don’t know.”
My lips parted. “How can you not know? Have there been that many?”
Aric met my stare. “Yes,” he answered quietly.
Nausea claimed my belly, but it wasn’t his fault. It was mine for asking.
Aric reached for my hand, taking it carefully within his grasp.
Neither of us spoke for several minutes. And it really sucked.
The longer he held my hand, the more I wanted to tell him I was sorry for asking, for freaking out, and for embarrassing him in front of his peers. My behavior seemed so ridiculous and out of character. He couldn’t change his past any more than I could.
My tigress paced within me, seeking out his wolf when Aric spoke. “I was twelve years old the first time a female came on to me,” he said. “I was walking up the long driveway to our property w
hen another wolf approached me in human form. She was in her twenties.” He shrugged. “I guess she was pretty. But I didn’t notice females then. She said she wanted to spend time alone with me and took off her clothes. I took mine off, too, thinking she meant for us to change and go for a hunt.”
My mouth went dry. “Did you—did she touch you?”
Aric brushed a strand of hair away from my face. “No, sweetness. My parents sensed I was near, and they didn’t understand what was keeping me.” He paused. “They knew what she wanted, and they were enraged. Mom went after her—I don’t think I’d ever seen her so angry. Dad held her back, but warned the she-wolf that if she ever approached me again, he wouldn’t stop his mate from tearing out her heart.” He pressed a kiss to my lips. “They found out later that she was desperate for a child and wanted to use my bloodline to give her one.”
I sat unmoving. Aric placed an arm around me while his other hand continued to hold mine. “I didn’t notice females then, and I don’t notice them now. You’re the only one I see, the only one I want, and the only one I’ll ever love.”
I wiped away a trailing tear. “I love you, too.”
He pulled me against his bare chest. “I never meant to embarrass you, Celia, or mar what we have. I never dealt with the club, or whatever the hell you called them, because they weren’t of any significance to me.” He sighed. “I had new quarters assigned to us across campus in case we ever need them. I haven’t returned to the building you ran from since the day we walked out together.”
I considered what he told me. “Aric, you say I’m the only one you’re attracted to. But the girls you were with after me were gorgeous. Barbara was—”
“Chosen for me,” he interrupted.
“Diane—”
“Was the first to approach me after I’d been injured. I allowed her company only after I believed you’d left me for Misha. I never wanted her. I only wanted to prove to myself that I could still have someone, despite my disfigurement. Like all the others before her, she only wanted me for my heritage, my bloodline, and the prestige my name would bring her.”