by L. A. Casey
I swallowed. “You’re both stressed with Kane bein’ ill—”
“It’s been going on for months now.”
Oh.
“I didn’t think it was this serious.”
Ryder nodded his head. “It’s bad. We don’t even have sex anymore, and I can’t remember the last time I kissed her just because I wanted to.”
Shite.
“There... there isn’t anyone else, is there?” I asked, my stomach rolling as the words left my mouth.
Please say no.
“No,” Ryder replied. “Nothing like that. We’re just growing apart I think.”
I felt a lump rise in my throat.
“You have to talk to her about this.”
He nodded his head. “I know. I’m just going to wait awhile to see if things change.”
“It won’t change if you both don’t make changes—it needs to be discussed. Now.”
Ryder held up his hands. “I will, eventually, I promise. I just have a lot going on right now.”
He did?
“Like what?” I asked.
Ryder smirked. “Never you mind.”
Oh, he was up to something.
“Why are you up and dressed this early in the mornin’?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him suspiciously.
He snickered, “I’ve got to go and take care of some business, nosey.”
I feigned offence. “I’m not nosey.”
“Sure you aren’t.”
I grunted and Ryder smiled.
“Promise me you’ll keep our conversation between us, okay?”
I groaned, “You’re askin’ me to withhold information from me oldest friend?”
“Yes, to keep her from unnecessary hurt.”
Bastard.
“Okay, fine,” I sighed. “I’ll keep me mouth shut.”
Ryder winked. “Later, mama.”
The kettle boiled just as Ryder walked out of the kitchen. I told Ryder I wasn’t nosey, but I really was. I followed him down the hallway and looked out the small window next to the door to see where he was going. I raised my eyebrows when I saw him climb into a Jeep. Nico’s Jeep. I could see Nico in the driver’s seat, he laughed at something Ryder said then drove off seconds later.
Where the hell were they going at six in the morning?
I turned around and walked back into the kitchen feeling puzzled. I didn’t like when people kept secrets, especially when I wasn’t in on what the secret was. Kane was hiding something about a person called Big Phil, and Ryder and Nico were going places at six in the morning in normal clothes, not workout gear.
Hmmmm.
I shook my head and walked over to the kettle and made myself another cup of tea and chuckled to myself.
Maybe Ryder was right; I was nosey.
I woke Kane when I climbed into bed next to him three hours later. I was sat upright eating some cereal from a bowl that I balanced on my belly. He opened one eye, smiled at me, and rolled onto his back.
“That’s a pretty sight to wake up to in the morning.”
I glanced at him and snorted, “Yeah, I’m a real catch.”
I flicked on Kane’s television and turned on Netflix. “More of the Sons?”
Kane stretched, sat upright and nodded his head.
He had that just-awake-fuck-me-now bedhead that did things to my vagina and I just wasn’t happy about it.
“Have you been awake long?”
I shrugged. “About five hours.”
“Five hours?” Kane asked with wide eyes. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
I glanced at him then back to the television. “Because I woke up at four in the mornin’.”
“So?” Kane clicked his tongue. “You should have woke me.”
I rolled my eyes. “I was fine. I went downstairs, had a lot of tea, some food, then more tea and some more food. Then I came up here. No big deal.”
Kane grunted, “Just wake me in the future.”
“In the future?” I laughed. “How frequent do you think these sleepovers will be?”
Kane moved closer to me. “I’m hoping frequently.”
I swallowed. “Kane...”
“I feel better with you here, so humour me and stay with me awhile.”
I looked at him and raised my eyebrow. “How long is awhile?”
He smirked. “How long have you got?”
“All day. It’s Saturday.”
“All day then.”
I raised my eyebrow. “Is this like a bondin’ exercise?”
“Yes.” Kane replied, his lip twitching.
I laughed, “Okay. As long as I don’t have to move I’m cool with bondin’ time.”
Kane grinned at me then turned his attention to the television. Five minutes later I finished off my cereal. I placed my now empty bowl on Kane’s locker next to me and shimmied lower while pulling the blankets over my body. I groaned when I discovered it wasn’t a comfortable position to watch the telly in.
“What’s wrong?” Kane asked.
I didn’t reply. Instead, I tested out a few different positions and settled on lying on my side. My pillow was too soft to prop my head up to so I looked at Kane and said, “Can I lie my head on your chest so I can see the telly?”
Kane gestured to himself. “Use my body as you see fit, babydoll.”
I snorted as I placed my head on his bare chest and cocked my leg over his. There. That was better. Much better.
“Are you comfortable?” Kane asked.
“Uh huh.”
“Good... but just so you’re aware, you are lying on me, and your leg is pressed against my dick. I can’t control it if it gets hard, okay?”
I laughed, “Okay.”
“I’m serious, I don’t want you to freak out on me.”
I placed my hand on his faint, but still visible abs—they were becoming more visible now that he was working out again.
“I’m too comfortable to freak out, sweetie.”
Kane’s body relaxed. “That’s good to know.”
I shushed him, “Jax is on the telly. Close your mouth.”
Kane grumbled to himself about Jax Teller, but did as I asked and shut up. We stayed quiet and wrapped around one another for two episodes. Kane had to move when the urge to go to the toilet became too much for him.
“I’ll be right back.”
I waved him on. “Go get yourself food and what not. I’m not goin’ anywhere, Kane.”
“Promise?”
Damn it.
“I promise.”
He left the room looking like a happy camper, but I knew that would change when I would eventually tell him that I was going to look for a new apartment instead of moving in with him. I just hoped including him in my search for a new apartment would appease him, because if it didn’t, things would get bad between us real fast.
I didn’t want to take two steps back into the past with Kane—we were getting along so well now. I wanted to look into the future because, whether I wanted it or not, that future now included him.
“Whatever it is that you have to say, say it already. Your constant glances my way are starting to bug me.”
I stared at Kane wide-eyed. I didn’t think he caught my not so subtle glances every thirty-seconds. After he went to the toilet and got some food, I gave him his morning injection of insulin. Since we came back up to his room, I would nervously look at him every few seconds. Each time I looked at him I planned to tell him my housing plan, but I bottled it at the last minute because I was a big chicken shit.
I quickly looked straight ahead when he called me out and pretended I didn’t hear him.
He laughed, “Aideen?”
Play it cool.
“Hmmm?”
He reached over, put his fingers against my cheek and turned my head until I was looking at him.
I gave Kane a big toothy smile as I said, “Hi.”
“Hello,” he chuckled.
“What’s up?” I questioned.
&nbs
p; He lifted his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes. “Please stop, I don’t want to laugh right now. I want to talk.”
I forced a giggle, “About boys, nails, or make-up?”
Kane belly laughed, and it made me beam.
I loved his laugh... and I hated myself because of it. I truly liked him now, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had to try my best to get rid of those feelings and stop them from developing into something like love because it could have disastrous results for us—or me—if it went badly.
“Be serious, babydoll. Say whatever it is that’s on your mind.”
I sighed when I realised he wasn’t going to drop the subject.
“I’m tryin’ to figure out how to tell you; either way you won’t be happy with what I have to say.”
Kane sat upright. “You’re okay? The baby?”
“Yes.” I blinked. “Nothin’ is wrong with anyone, we’re all good.”
Kane relaxed. “What’s the problem then?”
I groaned. “Promise you won’t be mad.”
“How can I promise when I don’t know what you’re going to–”
“Just promise.”
Kane grunted in annoyance. “Fine. I promise. Now, tell me.”
I looked away from him, closed my eyes and in one big breath I said, “I’m movin’ out of me apartment, and findin’ somewhere bigger. Somewhere close by.”
I pushed aside the urge to cover my face when I was met with silence. I sighed and opened my eyes. I looked at Kane and found him staring at me.
“I thought we were getting along so well.”
“We are,” I assured him with a bobbing nod. “That’s exactly why I shouldn’t move in here. I don’t want to jinx the friendship we’re buildin’. Things are so good between us right now… I don’t want to ruin that.”
Kane looked away from me and nodded his head in understanding. “Okay, Aideen.”
Crap.
“Please don’t be mad at me, I really want you on board with this. I need your help.”
That regained his attention. “My help with what?”
“Findin’ an apartment, of course. I want your input since your child will be livin’ there.”
Please feel involved.
Kane raised an eyebrow. “You want my input on an apartment?”
I nodded my head. “Of course.”
Kane was silent as he studied my face. “Okay, fine. I’ll help you search for an apartment, but on one condition.”
I didn’t like the sound of that.
“What’s the condition?”
“If we both don’t agree on an apartment that is suitable for you and the baby, then you move in here.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re tryin’ to trick me.”
“I am not.”
“You are too!”
Kane raised his hands in the air. “I’m offended you’d even suggest I would trick you. Moving apartments is a huge deal. I wouldn’t play around.”
I growled, “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, Kane. I know you like the back of me hand; you’ll just say no to every apartment we view so that I’ll have to move in here.”
“That’s completely false,” Kane chirped. “I don’t have any ill will towards you. You’re my friend so I will help you just like you want me to.”
I was so onto him.
He looked as innocent as a child with their hand in a cookie jar, and even though he did sound like he was on point with not trying to trick me, his little speech didn’t fool me. Something was cooking in his twisted mind, something evil. I knew him well enough to know he wasn’t giving in to my decision without a fight.
I held out my pinky finger, and the action caused Kane to beam at me.
“You swear you won’t say no to an apartment just to see me move in here?”
“A pinky promise, are you kidding?”
“No.”
“Damn, I could eat you up, babydoll. You’re too cute.”
I growled, “Swear.”
Kane smirked as he latched his pinky finger around mine. “I swear.”
I held his gaze. “You pinky swore, and you can’t go back on a pinky promise... it’s the law.”
Kane winked at me. “I wouldn’t dream of it, babydoll.”
I gnawed on the inside of my cheek so that I wouldn’t curse at him.
“So,” Kane smiled, “when are we going apartment hunting? I’ll arrange everything, just give me a day.”
He suddenly seemed delighted with the idea of apartment hunting which only fuelled my suspicions that he was up to no good. He really wasn’t doing himself any favours.
“Monday. Me class is out on a school trip all week and because it’s to do with hikin’, I don’t have to attend. We can go check out places then. Is that okay?”
Kane thought for a moment then he said, “Yeah, I can do Monday.”
I snorted, “You said that like you would be switchin’ somethin’ else out so you could come with me.”
“I will be.”
“What were you goin’ to be doin’ on Monday?” I asked, quizzically.
Kane shrugged his large shoulders. “I had a little business to attend to at the club in town, but I’ll push it to Tuesday.”
The club?
I sat upright and narrowed my eyes. “If you’re talkin’ about doing bad things in Darkness, I’m goin’ to be unbelievably mad at you.”
Kane scrunched up his face. “What are you talking about?”
I grunted, “I’m not stupid, Kane. I remember good and well what I saw in Darkness the night we had sex. I just haven’t brought it up since then because it was your business and not mine.”
Kane tilted his head. “Is it not still my business?”
His playfulness was gone, and serious Kane was rearing his angry head.
“Yeah, it is, but I’m a lot closer to you now so-”
“So nothing, Aideen,” he cut me off, his tone firm. “My business is my own. If I want your opinion on something, I’ll ask for it.”
I reared back at little, not liking being talked down to by him.
“You wanna take your own bloody advice then because you’ve been stickin’ your nose into my business since you found out I was pregnant.”
“So?”
So?
“What the fuck do you mean so?”
“I mean so.” Kane shrugged, uncaringly. “You’re the one who is pregnant, not me. If I butt into your life, it’s because I want to make sure you’re okay. You’re carrying my child. Call me crazy for caring about you.”
I felt my temperature begin to rise.
“You do realise the double standards you’re settin’ right now, don’t you?”
Kane laid back and sighed, “No, but I’m sure you’re going to explain them to me anyway.”
Right, he was.
“What gives you the right to pick apart everythin’ I do, but when I bring up some shady shite you do, I get shut down by big, bad Kane.”
“Big, bad Kane?” Kane repeated the corner of his lip quirked.
“It was that or pig-headed, arsehole Kane. Take your pick.”
Kane humourlessly laughed, “Don’t stop now, babydoll. Tell me how you really feel.”
I itched to smack the stupid smug look off his face, and I would have only I didn’t want to get arsehole all over my hand.
“You know what you can do?” I bellowed.
“I’m going to guess something unpleasant.”
Oh, my God!
“Go and fuck yourself, you fuckin’ wanker.”
Kane laughed, “That doesn’t sound unpleasant all. Hit me with something else.”
As you wish.
I turned and grabbed the battery-operated alarm clock on the locker next to me, then turned and smacked Kane right in the chest with it.
“Take that, you tick tockin’ prick!”
Kane grunted and hissed for about a second, then he laughed. And he laughed hard. It infuriated me. I angrily
pushed his bed covers off me and got off the bed. I didn’t get up as swiftly as I wanted to, but I got up, and that was the important thing.
“Where are you going?” Kane asked through his stupid laughter.
I stuck my middle finger up at him then turned and stormed out of his room. I briskly walked down the hallway towards the stairs and sped it up to a light jog when I heard Kane’s footsteps coming after me.
“Slow down, Aideen,” he said as I began to descend the stairs.
He wasn’t laughing anymore.
“Don’t tell me what to do!” I snapped and continued to storm down the stairs.
Kane grunted from behind me. “You’ll fall-”
“I won’t fall!” I snapped. “I can still fuckin’ see where I’m goin’!”
I got to the second floor but before I could walk down to the first floor Kane jumped in front of me. His hands were raised in front of his chest, and he had no trace of a smile on his face.
“Just calm down.”
I shook with anger.
“I am calm,” I spat. “I’m perfectly bloody calm; now fuck off away from me.”
Kane lowered his hands to my shoulders, but I slapped them away.
“Ow!”
I growled, “Good. I hope it hurts.”
That brought back Kane’s silly smile.
“Stop smilin’ at me; I’m not playin’.”
I moved around him then and walked down the rest of the stairs.
“What’s all the shouting about?” Nico’s voice shouted from the gym room.
He came home about after hour after he left with Ryder. I asked where he went, but he told me to mind my own business.
The fucker.
I walked into the gym room and walked directly over to Nico, who was lifting weights that were bigger than my head. “I’ll give you fifty euros if you punch Kane in the face for me.”
Nico laughed at me then looked over my shoulder. “What did you do? Bitch about not getting laid?”
“The only bitching that occurred was entirely done by Aideen—not me... And the last time I had sex, I got her pregnant, so I’m taking a well-deserved break.”
Nico laughed at Kane, but I didn’t.
“I’m a nice person so if I’m a bitch to you, you need to ask yourself why.”
“Because I’m an easy target?”
I looked at the red mark on his chest and smirked. “Clearly.”