by L. A. Casey
Kane blinked. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
He avoided looking me in the eye then. “I thought it was your lips he kissed.”
I shook my head. “You know you and I aren’t together, right? That means other men could kiss me if I allowed it.”
Kane growled, “Stop it. You’re just trying to make me mad.”
“No, I’m not. I’m tryin’ to make you understand that you can’t just attack people, Kane.”
He blinked. “I don’t usually. I usually keep to myself, but then you happened.”
I scowled. “What does that mean?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what it means. I just know I don’t want you with other people. Men, women... anyone. I can’t explain it. I’m used to keeping to myself, so now that we’re tied together with the baby, I want to keep you away from people, too. I know it’s stupid and crazy, but I can’t help it. It’s just how I am. I don’t trust people, Aideen, especially not with you and our baby.”
Just remember how difficult this is for him.
Nico’s voice sounded in my mind and caused me to sigh out loud.
“So, what?” I asked. “You don’t want me to talk to anybody? You know I’m a teacher, right?”
He frowned. “I know that. I mean outside work... Who else do you want to talk to besides my brothers and the girls?”
I shrugged. “Skull.”
Kane gritted his teeth.
I pointed my finger at him. “He is me friend and, to be honest, I’m closer to him than I am to you. I’ve known him for years, Kane.”
The muscle in his jaw rolled back and forward as he ground his teeth together.
“I don’t like him.”
That pissed me off.
“You don’t even know him.”
“I know that he knows you... all of you. I don’t like that, so therefore I don’t like him.”
“Oh, my God,” I groaned and rubbed my eyes. “You’re confusin’ the hell out of me.”
“I’m sorry.”
I looked at Kane and saw he really was sorry, even though he didn’t truly know what he was doing wrong.
“What do you want?” I asked. “I want to make us both happy. Just tell me what you want.”
Kane raised his eyebrows. “It’s not obvious what I want?”
“Not to me.”
He blinked. “You, Aideen. I want you.”
What?
“What do you mean you want me?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“You aren’t stupid, you know what I mean.”
I did, but my mind refused to believe it unless he said it.
“We just became real friends,” I protested.
I didn’t know why I was protesting—I told Keela I’d give things a go with Kane. I wanted to give things a go with him, I was just getting caught up in a stupid argument and straying from what needed to happen for my sanity as well as Kane’s.
Kane shrugged. “I just want to try being with you. I’ll probably be a shitty boyfriend, but what if we don’t put a title on us and just... hang out?”
I tilted my head. “Let me get this straight. You want us to be together in a relationship without callin’ it a relationship?”
“Exactly.”
“Why?”
“Less pressure?” he sighed. “I don’t know. I’m trying to figure this out as I talk, babydoll.”
I stared at Kane for a long moment. “Is this just because I’m pregnant?”
“No,” he instantly replied. “Look, I talked to Dominic and he made me make sense of why I think of you all the time and enjoy arguing with you so much. It’s because I like you but don’t know what to do about it. I don’t like people, Aideen. Ever. I sometimes can’t stand to be around my brothers, but I want to be around you all the time. Do you understand that? I want to be around you. I need you, babydoll. You keep me sane, by driving me insane.”
I blinked and tried to avoid the heavy part of what Kane was saying with a joke. “Did he give you a run down on his Man Bible as well?” I asked.
I could have sworn he blushed.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “He’s learned a few things from being with Bronagh.”
I couldn’t help but snort.
“I don’t know what to say, Kane,” I admitted and shifted my stance. “I’m twenty-eight years old, and I’m pregnant with your baby. Startin’ a relationship with you seems to be the logical thing to do, but if I’m honest, I’m really scared. What if it goes badly and we hate each other more than before?”
Kane stepped forward. “We won’t let that happen.”
“We can’t let it happen,” I corrected. “Do you understand me? We can’t hate one another whether we get together or not. I don’t want our child to grow up in a hostile environment.”
Kane’s face softened. “Trust me, babydoll, that’s that last thing I want, too.”
I inhaled and exhaled. “I’m very unsure about this, but if we don’t put a title on it, and just continue the way we are, I’ll become more trustin’. Is that okay?” I asked. “It’s the best I can do right now. I can’t jump into a relationship with or without a title without trustin’ you.”
Kane nodded his head. “That’s fine by me, babydoll. I’m just relieved you want to try.”
“I do. I like you so much. I’d be lyin’ to you and meself if I said I wasn’t feelin’ for you lately.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “What things have you been feeling for me exactly? Be descriptive.”
“How descriptive?” I grinned.
Kane gasped, “Aideen Collins, are you flirting with me?”
“Flirtin’? You mean me awkwardness is seducin’ you?
He laughed, “Just give me a come-hither look and you’ll seduce me plenty.”
I burst into laughter. “Bloody pervert,” I said as Kane invaded my space and folded his arms around me, pulling me against his body.
I wrapped my arms around him and sighed with a smile on my face. This felt right. I didn’t know if it was right, but it felt right, and right now that was good enough for me.
“I’ve never been someone’s boyfriend before. Sorry if I’m shit at it.”
I laughed against Kane’s chest. “I’ll ease you into things.”
“That sounds good to me, babydoll.”
I rolled my eyes but smiled wide.
I felt happy.
Truly happy.
I just hated that there was a voice in the back of my head that whispered, but for how long?
“Aideen?”
I looked at my little brother when he called my name. Gavin and my other brothers were in my new apartment putting up new shelves and bookcases that Kane bought for the apartment. He was out with Nico so he couldn’t put them up for me, but I didn’t mind because it gave me a chance to hang out with my family.
I was officially fully moved out of my old apartment and settled into my new one. It didn’t take long for the movers Alec hired to shift everything because Kane already took care of buying new, expensive furniture for the new apartment so it was just things like my clothes and such that needed to be moved in.
“Aideen?” Gavin repeated.
“Hmmm?”
“What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a girl friend?” he randomly asked me.
I gave him my full attention.
“Why?” I asked.
Gavin shrugged his shoulders. “I text this girl I’ve been hangin’ around with and asked her what she was to me and she said me girl friend with a gap between the words. I don’t get the difference.”
I looked at the text when he showed it to me then shrugged my shoulders and said, “The difference, little brother, is the space between girl and friend that everyone calls the friend zone.”
My older brothers burst out laughing while Gavin glared at me and said, “Pregnancy has made you evil.”
I evilly smirked. “So I’ve heard.”
Gavin grunted, “I feel sorry for Kane, he has
to put up with you twenty-four-seven.”
I rolled my eyes at him.
Kane and I had been dating, without putting a title on it, for just over a week and things had been great with us. We were getting on better than ever. The only thing I had done with him so far was kissing though. Intense kissing. He wanted to have sex, bad, but I was nervous about it because it was different now that we were together.
Gavin leaned over to me then and got my attention when he put his hand on my stomach. He grinned when the baby moved under his touch. “He loves me already.”
I grunted, “She... and you’re just lucky.”
Gavin snorted and pulled his hand away. “He always moves when I talk, or when I touch your stomach. He can sense me.”
“The poor kid is probably sick of hearin’ your voice and turns over to get away from you... did you ever think of that?”
Gavin gave our oldest brother the finger and it caused me to snicker.
“He loves me,” Gavin repeated, firmly.
I smiled. “Of course she does.”
Gavin laughed, “No more girls are allowed in this family, only boys.”
I snickered to myself, “Whatever you say.”
Gavin grinned at me then looked at his phone when it beeped. He got a text message and whatever it read caused him to stand up. “I’ll call you later, sis.”
My stomach churned.
“Where are you goin’?” I questioned.
Gavin gave me a stern look. “Out.”
“Don’t be a smartarse, Gavin,” James grunted as he glanced at our little brother.
Gavin raised an eyebrow. “I’m twenty-two; I don’t need to check in when I go someplace.”
“Why?” Harley questioned. “Is it too cool to let your family know where you’ll be at?”
“No, it’s just none of your business.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Gavin.”
He looked at me and widened his eyes. “Don’t you dare.”
He knew what I was about to do.
“Are you goin’ where I think you’re goin’?”
He shrugged and it made my blood boil.
“Tell our big brothers about your new friends.”
Dante walked over to my front door and leaned against it with his arms folded over his chest when Gavin turned and walked towards it with the intent of leaving.
“Move.”
Dante grinned. “Make me.”
Gavin’s hands balled into fists, and his entire body tensed, but he didn’t attempt to make Dante do anything, which I knew he wouldn’t.
“Thought so,” Dante smirked.
Gavin growled, “Dante, just move.”
“No,” Dante responded. “Who are these ‘friends’ Aideen is talkin’ about?”
Gavin looked at me. “You’re a nosey fuckin’ bitch. Why can’t you just keep it to yourself?!”
He hissed as Dante forcefully smacked him across the head. “Don’t you ever talk to her like that, you disrespectful little shite. Do you hear me?”
Gavin rubbed his head. “Tell her to mind her business then!”
I shook my head. “Forgive me for fuckin’ carin’ about you!”
“I’m fine!” Gavin bellowed. “I don’t need lookin’ after.”
James looked at me. “Tell us who these people are he is hangin’ around with. I don’t have the patience to wait for him to grow a pair and tell us.”
“Oh, my fuckin’ God!” Gavin shouted and walked over to my lounge chair, falling onto it. “I can’t believe you all treat me like a little kid!”
Because you act like one.
I ignored him and looked at James. “Brandon Daley’s crowd.”
James stared at me for a second then turned his attention to Gavin. Dante and Harley did the same thing and Gavin yelped when the three of them rushed at him. Dante reached him first and pushed him back onto the lounge chair, holding him there.
“Don’t hit me!” Gavin shouted at our brothers.
He wasn’t scared of them, he just knew how hard they could hit, and he didn’t want to feel any pain.
“You’re goin’ to explain what you have gotten yourself into. Now!”
I blinked.
James. Was. Pissed.
“I don’t need to do a fuckin’ thing- Harley!” Gavin roared when Harley reached down and grabbed hold of what looked to be Gavin’s dick and his balls.
Ouch.
I pulled a face and tried to cross my own legs as if I could feel Gavin’s pain, but my ever-growing belly got in the way.
“So help me God,” Harley growled. “I’ll rip your pride and joy off in ten seconds if you don’t answer the question.”
“Wait- just give me a SECOND!”
Harley pulled or twisted something, and it definitely hurt because Gavin’s voice rose an octave or two.
Harley evilly chuckled, “Talk, little brother. Now.”
“Okay!” Gavin bellowed.
Harley released his privates and stood up straight. He stared down at Gavin, who pressed his hands between his legs and groaned in pain.
“Gav,” James pressed.
Gavin looked up at my brothers through hard eyes. “You don’t need me to say it; you know I’m jumped in.”
Dante reached down, and for the second time, he whacked Gavin across the head. “You just up and made a decision to join a fuckin’ gang? Brandon Daley’s gang? You stupid little eejit!”
Gavin growled, “It’s was my fuckin’ choice. I didn’t need permission from you or anyone else.”
James was lightening fast when he hit Gavin. He landed a punch directly across his jaw and it caused me to jump up to my feet.
“James!” I screeched.
Without turning around my brother said, “Sit back down, Aideen.”
How did he know I was standing?
“Don’t hurt him!” I snapped. “He is stupid beyond measure, but he is our brother. Our little brother!”
“Which is exactly why I’m goin’ to knock some fuckin’ sense into him. Now, sit back down. Please.”
Bossy bastard.
I grunted, but did as he asked and sat back down on my settee.
“Hit me all you want, nothin’ will change.”
All three of my brothers glared down at Gavin.
“Why?” Dante asked.
“Why what?”
“Don’t play stupid, boy,” James growled.
“Why join a gang? Why do somethin’ so out of character for you? Why do somethin’ plain fuckin’ stupid?”
Gavin set his jaw. “Because I wanted to, okay?”
“That’s your answer?” Harley asked, his voice firm. “Because you wanted to? Are you fuckin’ jokin’ me?”
“Just leave me alone. I don’t do anythin’. Brandon just has me hang around, and that’s it. I don’t do anythin’ wrong.”
Bullshit.
“Not yet,” I muttered.
Gavin switched his gaze to me and glared. “Shut up, Aideen.”
Yeah, like that would happen.
“You shut up and listen to sense,” I countered. “Being in a gang is dangerous, it’s run by scumbags and you aren’t a scumbag. You’re tryin’ hard to be somethin’ you’re not.”
Gavin pushed himself to his feet and shouldered past Dante and Harley.
“Where are you goin’?” I snapped.
“Away from you four. I don’t fuckin’ need this bullshit,” he snarled then slammed my apartment door.
“I’ll go get him,” James growled.
I began to tear up. “Leave him. The more we force him to do somethin’ he doesn’t want to, the more it’ll push him away.”
“So we’re just supposed to accept he is in a gang now?” Harley asked me.
I shook my head as tears slipped down my cheeks. “No, I’m handlin’ it.”
“You’re pregnant,” Dante frowned. “You shouldn’t be handlin’ anythin’.”
I sighed. “Just trust me. Keela can convince her uncle to
do almost anythin’. She said she will get Gavin out without a scratch on his head.”
“When?” James questioned.
“Soon,” I replied.
He nodded.
Harley frowned at me when I wiped under my eyes. “Don’t cry, sis. It’ll be okay.”
I nodded my head and sniffled.
Damn, Gavin.
My brothers continued to frown at me, and then we all looked at sitting room door as the sound of the front door opened and closed.
“Hello?”
“Sittin’ room,” Harley called out without looking away from me.
Kane, Nico, and Alec walked into my sitting room and each of them raised their eyebrows.
“Everything okay?” Nico asked when he saw me wipe my eyes.
I nodded my head. “Everythin’ is fine.”
I walked by them, out of the sitting room and directly towards the bathroom. I heard the lads murmur some things as I walked down the hallway, then just as I entered the bathroom, I heard footsteps.
I picked up some tissue and blew my nose. I patted under my eyes as a large body filled up the doorway. I could see him from the reflection in the mirror next to me.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded my head. “Yes.”
“Look at me.”
I didn’t want to so I kept my back turned to Kane and sniffled. He sighed and walked into the bathroom. He put his arms around me and hugged me from behind.
“What happened?” he murmured. “James mentioned Gavin.”
I turned in his arms and pressed my face against his chest.
“He is so stupid and stubborn. How can he not see I just want to protect him?”
Kane rested his cheek on the crown of my head. “Like you said, he is stupid and stubborn. He’ll realise in time that you and your brothers are doing the right thing by being hard on him.”
I whimpered. “What if somethin’ bad happens to him?”
“It won’t, I can talk to Brandy-”
“No!” I stated and pulled back from Kane’s hold. “I don’t want you involved with him, I know Brandon, I’ll sort this out meself.”
Kane’s lip twitched. “What happened to everything being me and you?”
My lower lip wobbled. “On this, it’s just me. I can’t protect both of you at the same time.”
Kane smiled. “I’m the protector, babydoll.”
“No, I already called dibs. Sorry.”