by L. A. Casey
I looked at Bronagh when she spoke to me.
“What?”
Bronagh deadpanned, “Don’t play dumb, somethin’ is botherin’ you. You ask us round for some tea and a chat, but you have barely spoken and we got here hours ago. Spill.”
I didn’t want to spill. I didn’t want to do anything.
“Did you and Kane have a fight?” This came from Branna when I remained silent.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Kind of.”
“You can’t kind of have a fight with a Slater brother,” Keela interjected. “You either did or you didn’t.”
I rolled my eyes. “I did then.”
“Why?” Bronagh asked, her voice soft.
I exhaled. “I asked him about his scars.”
“Oh, fuck,” Branna mumbled.
Yeah. Oh, fuck.
“My sentiments exactly,” I grunted.
Keela whistled. “A shitstorm happened?”
I nodded my head. “There was no cursin’ or even much shoutin’... he just shut me down with the look in his eyes and the way he said me name. He went out runnin’ so I came home.”
Bronagh leaned her head back against my settee. “We can be expectin’ him soon then.” It was a statement, not a question.
I shrugged. “He might not come over. He wasn’t happy with my pryin’.”
“You could hold a gun to his head and he would still come to you,” Keela snorted and the girls agreed.
I frowned. “This time was different... I asked about a scar with a name on his neck and he just... blew up.”
“What name on his neck?” Bronagh asked, surprised.
I looked at her. “You’ve never seen it?”
She shook her head and so did the others.
“Huh. His hair must have hidden it from sight. It’s right on the back of his neck.”
“Whose name is on his neck?” Keela asked, her voice tight.
I looked away as I said, “Marco.”
“What?”
I swallowed. “It’s carved onto his neck. It’s horrible lookin’. I can only imagine how much it hurt him.”
“Oh, my God,” Keela whispered.
“Poor Kane,” Branna whimpered.
Oh, no.
“Don’t cry. You’ll set me off and if I start I won’t stop.”
“Sorry,” Branna sniffled and wiped under her eyes.
I clasped my hands together over my stomach. “I didn’t only ask about his scars...”
“I don’t like how you left that open,” Branna sighed.
Bronagh sat forward. “I asked about his job for Marco because I know whatever it was caused the scars.”
“Bollocks.” This came from Keela.
I nodded my head. “Yep, it’s a right shit storm.”
“Why did you ask the questions?” Bronagh asked.
“Because I felt like I only know half of a person. I just want to understand him... Nico said-”
“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Bronagh cut me off. “What did that bastard of mine tell you?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “He told me a few weeks ago to ask Kane these questions, but I had to wait for the right time. Earlier on felt like the right time.”
Bronagh rubbed her hands over her face. “Knowin’ the answers to your questions is this important?”
I nodded. “I wish I could overlook the scars. I wish I could be that woman who didn’t have to know what made him the way he is today, but I’m not. I need to know, so I can fully understand him. Does that make me sound crazy?”
“No, honey,” Branna said and moved closer to me. “It makes you human.”
I nodded my head. “I’m just afraid... I don’t want to lose him. This feelin’, it’s exactly what I was terrified of. It’s the reason I didn’t want to get with him. I didn’t want to develop deep feelin’s and I have. I love him so much, and it breaks me heart that someone hurt him and that it’s still hurting him. I want to help him, but I don’t know how.”
“You love Kane?”
I blinked. “What?”
“You said you loved him.”
I did?
I closed my eyes as realisation struck me. “I love him. Fuck!”
“Aideen,” Keela murmured, her voice soothing.
I turned to her and wrapped my arms around her body.
“You won’t lose Kane,” she said firmly in my ear.
I hiccupped, “How do you know that?”
“Because,” Bronagh chuckled, “he loves you, too.”
What?
I pulled back from Keela and looked at Bronagh. “He loves me?”
Bronagh was beaming at me. “Of course, only an eejit would miss it.”
The girls nodded in unison.
I dumbly blinked.
I guess I was a massive eejit then because I had no clue. The more I thought about Kane, the deeper my own feelings became. It caused a sick feeling to fill my stomach and a pain to develop in my chest.
I must have been coming down with something.
The flu probably.
“I know he really cares-”
“Ado,” Branna interrupted, “he loves you. He probably won’t say it for a while, if ever, but he does.”
Oh.
“That’s... a lot to take in.”
“I know, but do take it in,” Keela said. “Don’t ignore it.”
I looked down. “It doesn’t change that I want to know about his past and it’s a huge problem for him.”
The girls sighed but said nothing.
I looked down for a few more minutes then said, “I’m really tired.”
Keela frowned. “Go to bed. We’ll tidy up here and lock up after we leave.”
I didn’t need to be told twice.
I hugged all my friends and ventured out of the sitting room and down the hallway to my bedroom. I didn’t even change for a nap, I just kicked off my shoes and climbed into bed. I closed my eyes and let my exhaustion take over.
I was out in seconds.
I woke up some time later and found it was dark outside. I pushed myself up as I swung my legs over the side of my bed and just sat there for a few seconds. I groaned when my bladder demanded to be emptied. I rubbed my eyes then stood up and walked out of my room to my bathroom.
After I had relieved myself, I washed my hands in the bathroom sink and dried them with one of the new, soft hand towels I purchased. I left the bathroom and walked back out into the hallway. I listened for any noises—usually Kane would be watching the television or something while I napped, but it didn’t sound like he was here.
He was still mad at me.
I shook my head and walked down to my kitchen. I stepped inside the room and quickly jumped back into the hallway. The cold of the tile floor in the kitchen was a little too much for me so I walked back down to my bedroom and switched the light on so I could find my slippers. I couldn’t see them lying around so I walked over to my wardrobe and pushed open the door then stood back as the rest automatically folded open.
I looked inside for my slippers and spotted them next to a bag.
I glanced at Kane’s gym bag. He brought it with him when he stopped by a few nights ago, but he forgot to take it with him when he left the next day, so I put it into my wardrobe for safe keeping. I forgot all about it because he never mentioned it. But as soon as I saw it, I realised he has worked out in his house and had gone running with Nico and his other brothers plenty since then.
Wouldn’t he have needed his stuff from inside the bag? His runners and such?
Curiosity got the best of me, so I kneeled down on the floor and pulled the bag towards me. I gripped onto the zip and pulled it open. I puffed the sides of the bag out so I could look inside and see the contents. I leaned back a little expecting a foul smell—it was a gym bag after all—but there was no stench. There was no smell at all.
That was weird.
I leaned forward and looked into the bag, but I couldn’t see anything thanks to the shadows fro
m my wardrobe. I scooted back a little and slid the bag along the floor with me. I leaned forward again, and this time when I looked into the bag, I clearly saw the contents. I gasped when saw bundles of money with elastic bands wrapped around them. Not small bills either, it was bundles of five-hundred euro notes. Hundreds of them.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered.
I didn’t flinch when I heard my front door open and close. Nor did I flinch when I heard him call out my name.
“Aideen?”
I continued to stare down at the money and called out, “In me bedroom.”
I heard his footsteps then—each one brought him closer to me and my discovery.
“Hey, baby. I just wanted to say I’m-” Kane cut himself off when he entered my room, and I knew it was because of what he saw.
He was silent for a few moments then he said, “I have an explanation for that.”
I looked up at him, my eyes burning into his.
“Really? Because I can’t wait to hear it.”
“Well?” I prompted Kane after a minute of silent staring.
He swallowed. “I’m trying to think of the right way to word what I’m going to say.”
“Please, take your time,” I sarcastically hissed.
Kane narrowed his eyes. “I want to explain myself correctly. Just give me a second to figure out how.”
“You mean you want a second to figure out a way to weasel your way out of tellin’ me where the fuck you got all this money from?”
Kane set his jaw. “I’m not going to lie to you, so don’t insinuate that I will.”
Was there a silent ‘or else’ at the end of that sentence?
I ignored Kane’s brewing temper.
“I’m waitin’ on your explanation as to why thousands of euros are sittin’ in me fuckin’ wardrobe like it’s nothin’ more than a pair of cheap shoes.”
“And I’ll give you the explanation if you would give me a fucking second to speak.”
I struggled to my feet and slapped Kane’s hand when he came to my aid.
“I can do it meself,” I snapped and pushed myself upright. “You just talk.”
The muscles in Kane’s jaw rolled back and forth.
“It’s my money. I earned it. End of story.”
Like fuck it was.
“Don’t you fuckin’ dare try to brush this off. Do you see how much money is in that bag?” I bellowed.
Kane’s hands balled into fists. “It’s my money, I know how much is there.”
“Why’re you actin’ like this is normal? It’s not fuckin’ normal!”
He placed his face in his hands. “I don’t want to argue, please.”
Seriously?
“If there was ever a reason to argue it’s because of this, Kane!”
He turned and punched my bedroom door, instantly denting the wood.
“What the fuck do you want from me?”
I didn’t hesitate.
“The truth,” I demanded. “For once just tell me the fuckin’ truth!”
“Why?” Kane screamed causing me to stumble backwards away from him. “Why do you have to know everything about me? Why can’t I have some secrets left that are just for me?”
I pushed the wardrobe door closed and pressed my hand against it. I just needed something to hold onto. “Because I just found a bag of cash in the back of me wardrobe and I want to know where the hell you got it from.”
Kane lifted his hands to his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s my money, okay? Apart from the income from my apartments, I don’t do bank accounts with my money. I never have. I don’t like paper trails. I only deal in cash.”
I blinked. “That doesn’t answer me question.”
“Aideen.”
“Where did the money come from, Kane?”
Kane stared at me, hard. “I’ve been freelancing my... talents to some shitty people, okay?!”
A knot twisted in my stomach.
“What does that mean?”
Kane set his jaw. “It means if someone requires a beat down, people pay me to do it. I hurt shitty people for other shitty people.”
I reared back like I was slapped across the face.
“You... you hurt people?”
Kane said nothing. He didn’t even blink.
“Get out.”
“No.”
No?
“You don’t get a say in this. Get the fuck out of me apartment. Now.”
“I own the building.”
I knew he would eventually throw that in my face!
“You may own the building, but I lease this fuckin’ apartment so get out!”
Kane stood rooted to the spot. “You wanted to talk about this, so now we’re going to talk about it.”
“After what you just admitted? I don’t think so!” I snapped.
I got my phone from my pocket and dialled Nico’s number. I put it to my ear and looked Kane dead in his eyes as his brother answered his phone.
“Come and get Kane from me apartment right now.”
Nico’s voice was hard when he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“He is a lyin’ son of bitch who hurts people for a livin’. I want him out of me apartment right now. I’m serious, Nico. Come get him or I’m callin’ me brothers.”
I screeched when Kane came at me.
“Don’t you touch me!” I screamed and dashed to the right.
Kane punched my wardrobe door, and because the wood wasn’t thick like my door, his fist went through it.
“Tell my brother everything is okay and hang up the phone.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Not a chance in hell- Kane!”
I gasped when Kane shot forward, grabbed my phone and threw it against my bedroom wall. My iPhone shattered into pieces before it even touched the ground. I stared at the fragments on the floor for a moment then without looking at Kane I turned and walked out of my bedroom.
“Wait, I’m sorry,” Kane said from behind me. “I didn’t mean to do that, you just-”
“Made you angry?” I shouted and spun around to face him. “Every time you get angry you seem to lose it. You shout at people, punch stuff, and now you’ve upgraded to breakin’ stuff? How long will it be before you black out and hit the real source of your anger, huh? How long until you take your anger out on me?”
Kane widened his eyes. “I would never, hear me clearly on this, ever hit you.”
“I can’t trust that and that’s the fuckin’ problem.”
Kane looked like I had punched him.
“You can’t believe I would hurt you. You just can’t.”
I swallowed. “I don’t know, Kane. This is all becomin’ too much for me. You aren’t honest with me, you lash out at me when I ask questions, and you are borderline obsessed with me when it comes to other men.”
“Because you’re mine!” Kane snapped.
I jumped a little, but quickly composed myself.
“I understand that,” I stated, my voice surprisingly calm. “I really do. I’m your girlfriend-”
“No, you don’t get it. You’re mine. Everything about you is mine.”
I blinked. “You don’t own me, Kane.”
“Yes. I. Do.”
I took a step backward. “I’m not property.”
“I know you’re not,” Kane grunted and took a step towards me, “but being mine doesn’t make you an object, it makes you my life. You are my life, Aideen. I love you.”
I stopped breathing.
“What?” I whispered.
“I love you,” Kane repeated louder and firmer.
My stomach began to hurt, my chest tightened, and my head spun.
“What?” I repeated, again.
Kane closed the remaining distance between us. “I. Love. You.”
Fuck, Bronagh was right.
That was the only thing I could think of during Kane’s declaration of love for me.
“I can’t deal with this,” I eventually said.
“I’m sayin’ that was the wrong moment to tell me you love me. You shouldn’t have said it.”
“I shouldn’t have said it? It’s what I’m feeling.”
I swallowed. “You harm people, Kane.”
“Bad people, Aideen. We’re talking about the scum of the earth here.”
I shook my head. “I don’t care. It doesn’t justify what you do.”
Kane turned and began to pace up and down the hallway.
“You own apartments, a real-estate agency. You have more money than you need. Why do you continue to... freelance?”
He had his back to me when he stopped moving. I saw the muscles in his back tense as I asked my question.
“I donate all the money I get from freelancing to different charities. I don’t do it for the money. It was never about money.”
I closed my eyes. “Then why do you do it?”
“Because I have to.”
“Why?”
He turned to face me, a sadistic smirk on his face.
“Don’t dare look at me like that. Don’t think being cold and mean is going to get you out of this conversation.”
“Cold and mean,” Kane repeated then humourlessly laughed. “That pretty much describes what people think of me. One look at me and they’re scared. Are you scared of me, babydoll?”
Only of the way you make me feel.
“A puppy has more chance of scarin’ me than you do, Slater,” I deadpanned.
A smile lit up Kane’s face, but only for a moment before his sullen look took over once more. “Everyone is scared of me. They think I’m a monster, and you know what? Maybe I am. I didn’t get this way by being an angel, that’s for damn sure.”
I frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Good,” Kane replied. “I don’t want you to understand me.”
“Well, I want to!” I shouted. “I want to know you.”
That admission shocked me as well as Kane.
He shook his head. “If you get answers to the questions on your mind you will leave me. You won’t let me get within five feet of you and our baby. I know you won’t.”
I swallowed. “Sweetheart, if you tell me what I need to know nothin’ will happen. I’m not goin’ to leave you.”