Epiphany

by Ashley Suzanne

  will never have a stretch mark, popped belly button or extra fat that comes with giving

  birth. The only thing that will ever be visible is the small cut just above my pelvic

  bone, signifying the surgery I had on the day my world flipped upside down.

  Fighting back the slew of emotions ready to pull me back down, I climb out of the shower and dry quickly, remembering that Maddie is probably sitting in my living room. Wrapping the towel around my body, I walk back to the bedroom in search of something to wear so I can meet the infamous Maddie Fletcher.

  Dressed to the nines in a pair of ratty sweat pants with matching tank top, I make my way into the living room, and my assumption’s correct. A beautiful blonde with an impeccable body is sitting on my sofa, scrolling on her phone. Clearing my throat to announce my presence, I casually walk over to the love seat.

  “You must be Mira,” she says, sympathy clouding her honey colored eyes.

  “I am, and you’re Maddie, right?” I ask, already knowing who she is.

  “Yes. I’m so happy you agreed to talk to me. Axe has told me how upset you’ve been lately and I was hoping to share something with you. Maybe what I’ve been through can help you heal.” This is exactly why I didn’t want to see her. I knew exactly what she was going to say before I even saw her face.

  “I don’t mean any disrespect, but I’m not up for hearing another woman’s story.”

  “I understand, but I think it will help. You don’t have to listen, I’m just going to tell it anyway. If you take something away from it, great. If not, no harm no foul.” The more she speaks, the more of Prowler I see in her.

  Waiving my hand in front of my face, I give her the floor to say whatever she’s come to say. Hopefully, it doesn’t take too long because a nap sure sounds nice right about now.

  “I met my husband when we were still kids. Well, not really kids, we had both just

  turned eighteen, but that seems like ages ago,” she begins, and I’m already starting

  to block out whatever she’s talking about. It’s quite possible I’ll fall asleep right

  here.

  “Everything seemed fine in the beginning. I was in school to become a nurse and Sam started working construction with his dad. By nineteen, we moved into our first apartment and finally got to live on our own. I thought it was the beginning of my independence, being able to do whatever I wanted. I was wrong and Sam soon showed me that I wasn’t free of anything, more like under his thumb all day, every day.” Is it just me or is she completely missing the point? I don’t have a controlling boyfriend. I just had a miscarriage. I’m thinking that all this time she’s spent trying to be safe has gone to her head.

  “Sam and I got married at twenty-one and I hoped that would show him that I was only his. It didn’t really work out that way, or I wouldn’t be sitting on your couch,” she jokes and I don’t find anything funny. Watching her with a blank stare, I’m losing my interest fast. Pulling my feet up underneath me, I rest my head on the arm of the sofa and wait for her to finish.

  “A few months ago, it wasn’t just a controlling marriage I was in—it turned physical.

  The first time Sam hit me was because I didn’t call him when my schedule got switched

  and I had to work later than usual. The next time was for something even more stupid. Just after Thanksgiving, I found out I was pregnant,” she says, looking down at her lap, running circles around on the front of her phone. She’s officially got my attention back.

  “I was so excited. I thought a baby was just the thing to bring him down … keep him calm. I was sadly mistaken. Just before Christmas, we got into a huge fight about Christmas dinner. I told him I wanted to have it at our house and he wasn’t too keen on the idea. Things quickly escalated, and long story short, I ended up in the emergency room with three cracked ribs and no longer pregnant.” Both of us stare at each other, tears getting ready to spill. My heart aches for her; however, I’m still not sure what any of this has to do with my situation.

  “Instead of going back home, I called my uncle that night and Axe came and picked me up from the hospital. He took me to their safe house and kept an eye on me—took care of me. He kept checking his phone and I knew he must have had someone to get home to. I told him to leave, that I’d be fine, but he came to check on me for the next few days afterward.” It’s all starting to make sense now. I’m so dumb for thinking Skylar would do anything to betray or hurt me. Giving myself a mental reminder to apologize later, I continue listening to her story, hoping there’s a moral or something coming soon.

  “Bottom line is, Mira, Axe … Skylar … is a great guy. He took care of me when I haven’t seen him in years. He was there for me, helped me heal for no other reason than he’s an exceptional human being. I know you’re hurting—I hurt. You have to be running every single scenario through your mind—I did, too. Here’s the thing. There’s no rhyme or reason as to why things happen when they do, but you have to look at the bigger picture.” Hope shines in her eyes, and I think I’m starting to understand where she’s going with all of this.

  “Had I had that baby with Sam, I would have never gotten out. That miscarriage saved my life. Now, all I have to do is find a place to move and get away from everything. Maybe even find a guy as kind and loving as Skylar.” Jealousy starts to overcome the sadness as she talks about finding someone like my man. I have a vision of pulling her hair, slapping her face and screaming that he’s mine and she can’t have him. Immature or not, it’s the damn truth.

  “If you wouldn’t have lost this baby,” My hands start shaking, another breakdown

  on the verge, and she grabs a hold and looks at me with the most sincere look anyone

  other than my closest friends and family have ever given me, “you could have died.

  That cyst could have ruptured and you wouldn’t have been on high alert already. The loss of this child saved your life and gives

  you more time to love the man in the other room.”

  Skylar comes out of the bedroom, fresh moisture on his cheeks. “She’s right,” he

  whispers. “As much as I wanted that baby, to have a family with you, I would be lost

  without you. There’s more time for us to try to have babies. After we’re married,

  we can look into adoption. Whatever you want. I’ve been trying to tell you for a few days that it’s you that I want. Anything else, including children, is just a perk of being with you.”

  Maddie loosens the grip on my hand and I take advantage, standing and running into Skylar’s waiting arms. I may not be healed by any means, but today, I’m one step closer.

  “You know, Mad, Danny just moved to New York City. I’m sure he’s lonely without a familiar face. You should give him a call. He might even put you up until you get your feet on the ground.” Skylar’s got to be the smartest guy I’ve ever met, not to mention a hell of a match maker. I already like Maddie more than Melissa.

  “Text me his number and I’ll give him a call later today. That would be awesome. I’ve always

  been a fan of New York. I could really make a home there.” I can already see where

  this is going.

  Letting go of Skylar, I embrace Maddie, thankful that she shared her story with me. I know a vast majority of it was just to remind me that Skylar’s a good guy and never strayed, which I appreciate more than she’ll ever know. However, hearing her tell me about her miscarriage and what helped her move on … that’s what makes this conversation special. I’ll forever be grateful to her for that.

  Walking her to the door, I give Maddie one last hug as she leaves. Back in the living room, I join Skylar on the recliner. Climbing in his lap, I lay my head on his shoulder and start my recovery.

  “Why didn’t you just tell me what was going on with Maddie? It doesn’t seem like there was too much club business there.”

  “Her man is fucking nuts. The club was hiding her so she could safely file for divorce. Si
nce they don’t have kids or own anything together, it wasn’t going to be long before a judge signed the order. Now that it’s done, and Prowler gave Sam a little motivation, she’s safe and so are you.”

  “Why wouldn’t I have been safe?” I ask, not understanding what any of that had to do with me.

  “Think about it. I was protecting Maddie. If Sam found out it was me helping her,

  he might have come here to do something to you. Kind of like payback. I don’t know if he would have done anything stupid like that, but I wasn’t about

  to take the risk. The less you knew, the better off you were.” Sighing, I run my

  fingers along his collar bone. It all sounds dumb to me, but he thought he was protecting

  me. Even though we fought about it, my safety was always his number one concern.

  I have to give him credit where credit’s due.

  “I love you.” I place a kiss on his chest and squeeze him tightly.

  “I love you,” he mimics, placing his lips on the top of my head.

  It’s not going to be easy. One day at a time. Staying in bed, hiding from the world

  isn’t helping anyone. I owe it to Skylar to do whatever I can to be the woman he

  fell in love with.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Kylee

  Jacoby seems to think I need to do the whole bride experience—shopping for a dress with my mom and Mira, cake tasting and anything else that sounds like a waste of time. I’m not that kind of girl. I just want to be married. We could go to the court house in the morning and do it. I’d be happy. However, he’s not letting me do that, saying that I’ll regret my decision later. Trying to appease my future husband, I take his advice and shop for a dress. Just not in a store. The internet is a beautiful thing, I tell ya.

  “What do you think of this one?” I ask Jacoby, pointing at a picture of a wedding dress on a bridal website. Personally, I’m in love with it; tight bodice, flared at the bottom and a four foot train. The sweetheart neckline is only a perk.

  “You really like that one? Hey, aren’t you supposed to not show me the dress before

  the wedding? Bad luck or something stupid like that?” he asks, skeptical of my choice, apparently.

  “Yes,” I answer, slapping his arm and rolling my eyes. “It’s beautiful. Since this is our day, I want everything to be perfect. So look again and tell me what you think.” This time it’s his eyes that roll, turning back to the TV.

  I briefly consider smacking him in the head with my laptop, but soon realize that this is how I make my money. Also, Shelby might not understand why I’m beating her father. One day, though, she’ll understand.

  “Shel, come up here for a second.” She might only be five years old, but a girl’s a girl in my book. Every member of the female race has envisioned their wedding at least once before. All those damn fairy tales and princesses getting some huge, fancy, extravagant display of love. Yeah, Shelby’s gonna be my best bet.

  My little guinea pig pauses the movie she’s watching, but not before rewinding it to the most annoying cartoon

  song I’ve ever heard. I wish she would let it go, for heaven’s sake. Climbing over Jacoby, she nestles into my side, staring her wide blue eyes at the computer screen.

  “Are you going to be a princess, Kylee?” she asks.

  “That’s what I’m hoping you could help me with. Daddy and I can’t agree which dress is prettiest. Do you think you can help me out?”

  “Oh, yes. I love this one. It looks just like Cinderella. I love Cinderella, Kylee.”

  Shelby points to the exact dress I’ve been fawning over. Knowing I’m not going to

  find anything more perfect, I click the order button and it puts the dress in my shopping

  cart.

  Funny thing, when I go to checkout, there’s a little ‘dresses to match’ section. I’d like to take credit for finding the next gown, but I’d be a damn liar.

  “Kylee, look. This one’s the same as your princess dress, but it’s my size.” Hot damn, this kid

  is better than I thought.

  “It sure is. Would you like to wear this dress at mine and Daddy’s wedding?”

  “Can I please?” With her hands clasped in front of her face, literally begging, I

  add another dress to my cart. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Jacoby watching

  Shelby and me, a shit eating grin on his face.

  Paying for my purchase, I excuse Shelby, who has no problem going back to her show

  and listening to that God forsaken song another four times before she’s ushered off

  to bed. When Jacoby follows to tuck her in, I use my free time to check in with Mira.

  It’s been about a month since her miscarriage. I’ve tried to visit and keep her spirits up, but until recently, she wasn’t even seeing visitors. Hopefully, now that some time has passed, we can get back to the way our friendship used to be. It’s pretty amazing that we’re both engaged at the same time. This is the perfect excuse for us to hang out.

  “I was just getting ready to call you,” Mira says, answering my call.

  “Great minds, my love. So, since we’re both geniuses, how about we do lunch tomorrow? Jacoby found this

  place that does cake tastings and it should be fun. Chocolate and champagne. Nothing better.”

  “Cake tastings already? Have you guys set a date?”

  “Jacoby likes the idea of Fall; I on the other hand, don’t give a shit. I just wanna get married already. I’m

  starting to wonder if I’m the one wearing the pants in this relationship,” I joke.

  Jacoby walks back into the living room, lifting my feet and placing them on his lap. He presses his strong fingers into the arch of my foot, massaging away all the stress from the day. I don’t realize how vocal I am until Mira starts freaking out.

  “Oh my gosh, Kylee. Are you having sex right now?”

  “Because calling you is the first thing I think of when fucking,” I laugh.

  “I don’t even wanna know what’s going on over there. Okay, so, before you started acting out the lead role in Kylee Does Kansas, I don’t know about cake tasting. I’m not sure if we’re going to be getting married right away. This whole miscarriage kinda changed things. I need to make sure that he’s in this knowing that I won’t be able to give him babies and whatnot.”

  My heart breaks for her. It seems sometimes the universe works in strange, cruel

  ways. Here I am, happy as I’ll ever be with the man of my dreams and a soon-to-be

  step daughter that’s the sweetest. And then there’s my best friend, who wants a baby

  but can’t have one. Light bulbs start flashing in my brain and I’ve concocted the

  perfect plan.

  “What if you could give him a baby?” I ask. Jacoby pinches my calf and in response and I wave my hand,

  signaling him to shush for a second. I’m about to get really, really deep.

  “How the hell would I give him a baby? Is Jacoby feeding you drugs or something? I swear you’re high.”

  “Nope, not high. I have a great idea, but you’re going to have to come with me tomorrow cake testing

  for me to tell you.” This is going to play out perfectly. Everyone’s going to be

  happy and all that cupcake and rainbow shit.

  “Kylee, tell me …” I stop her mid sentence, brushing her off.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. Be ready by eleven. Love you. Bye.” I quickly hang up my phone before she tries to get another word in. As soon as the call’s disconnected, I power the phone down. Reaching for Jacoby’s cell, I do the same, already knowing when she can’t reach me, she’ll try him.

  “What the hell are you planning? Is this some kidnap a baby from the hospital nursery type shit? Wait, don’t tell me. We’re not married yet and I don’t want to have to testify against you.”

  Pulling my feet from his lap, I sit straight, lips curled in a smirk. “One—nobody is kidn
apping anything. Two—you would never testify against me. You’d miss this,” I rub my hands seductively over my breasts, “if I went to prison. Three—I think I have the perfect way to help Mira and Skylar have a baby. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.” Bouncing in my seat, I can’t wait to tell her. I’m impatiently waiting for Jacoby to ask the details of my plan.

  “Okay, spill it, Red.” Finally. Jacoby grabs his glass of red from the end table, sipping and staring at me over

  the rim suspiciously.

  “This is going to be epic. I’ll go down in history as the greatest best friend of

  all time. Okay, so, Mira can’t carry a baby and I can. She wants babies and I don’t.

  Don’t you see? I’ll carry the baby for them.” Taking a drink of my own wine, I’m

  proud of my thinking. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading too many romance novels

  lately, but this seems like it’s a win-win for everyone.

  “You’re going to what?” Jacoby asks, choking on his drink.

  “Keep up. I’m going to carry the baby for them.”

  “The hell you are!” Jacoby yells. Glancing toward the stairs, I’m expecting Shelby to run down the stairs. There’s no possible way she’s asleep already.

  “Keep it down,” I whisper. After a few minutes, there’s no sign of Shelby. Feeling

  like we’re in the clear of prying ears, I continue. “Why not? She’s my best friend. This is the kind of thing that you do for someone you love.”

  “No, Kylee, it’s not. If you love someone, you buy them a Christmas gift … offer to housesit while they’re on vacation … take them to the dealership when their car

  breaks down. Not have children for them. Not to mention, before you go making decisions

  like this, you probably should have a conversation with your fiancé.”

  “Exactly what is there to discuss, Jacoby?”

  “How are we going to explain to our children about this? I can’t imagine how you’ll tell them that there’s another part of them walking around. Better yet, a child that will be a part of their life growing up. And if you think for one second that I’m letting you fuck Skylar, you’ve lost your damn mind.”