I felt bad that Sophie thought I doubted her. I think she could tell what I was thinking because she laughed. “I’ll forgive you as long as you promise to pass out campaign stickers for me tomorrow morning,” she said.
“Deal,” I said, even though I’d already told Billy I’d pass out stickers for him too.
I wasn’t the only one campaigning for him. Brynn had become his self-appointed campaign manager, and she was being very aggressive in her efforts to get him elected.
During our break at dance, Brynn was trying to rally support for him. “Vote for Billy Weiss tomorrow,” she told all the freshman on the team. Then she passed out stickers she’d made with a picture of him when he was a toddler. “He’s the cutest candidate running,” she said. “But then I’m biased.”
She seemed preoccupied with what she was doing, which was why I was caught off guard when she said to me, “Don’t you think it’s a little weird that Sophie is running for SGA?”
It was the reaction I’d been dreading. I’d had a bad feeling Brynn was going to make this into a bigger deal than it should be. I felt myself getting defensive on Sophie’s behalf. “What’s weird about it?” I asked.
Brynn shrugged. “It just doesn’t seem authentic.” She looked at Emily who was standing next to her. “We’re on the dance team because we’re really into dance.”
Emily nodded like that made sense.
That was all the validation Brynn needed to continue. “Why does Sophie want to get involved in student government? I have a hard time imagining her doing student government at her art school in New York. They probably didn’t even have it at her school in Paris. So why do you think she wants to do it now?”
Brynn looked at me like she was on the debate team and she’d made her argument—now it was my turn to rebut.
But luckily, Ms. Baumann called us back to practice at that exact moment.
I didn’t want to argue with Brynn. Sophie has a right to do whatever she wants to do. I knew Brynn was implying that Sophie is only doing it because she wants to be with Billy, which I honestly don’t think is the case. I also knew that by defending Sophie it would make what Brynn was thinking more valid.
So I didn’t.
10:52 p.m.
Don’t like what’s happening behind closed doors
Sophie has called ten times (OK, four, but it feels like ten) to read me her speech and to talk about what she’s going to wear to the assembly tomorrow. But it’s hard to focus on what will happen in the school election when I have much more pressing issues at home.
I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation Mom and Dad have been having in their room. Their voices were elevated, which is usually a sign they’re talking about something worth hearing. Their room is across the hall from mine, and I’ve been listening undetected outside their door for years. I usually like being in the know, but I wish I hadn’t heard the conversation tonight.
“I think opening a downtown boutique is a great idea,” Mom said.
“I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” Dad’s voice sounded argumentative. “I know you’re a talented designer. I just think the timing of opening a new store is wrong.” I listened as he talked about the fact that he just recently opened the Love Doctor Diner and how hard it would be on our family if they were both putting in the time required to ensure that a new business is successful. “Flora, it’s also a tremendous financial commitment.”
I thought what he said made sense and that Mom would agree, but she didn’t.
“I’ve put a lot of time into my business plan,” said Mom. She explained how the space she found was a boutique, so all she needs to do is paint and decorate it. “I’ve already done most of the design work, so the biggest time commitment will be sewing the clothes, and I’m going to hire someone to help me.”
“Flora, do you know expensive it is to hire someone?”
Apparently, Mom did. I heard the rustling of papers as she explained to Dad how much it would cost and how she’d finance it.
Honestly, I thought Mom made some good points too. She sounded smart and informed, like she’d done her homework. But as she described her vision for Flora’s Fashions to Dad, I started to feel queasy. She’s made a lot of my clothes over the years, most of which I found pretty embarrassing to wear. I’m not a big fan of what she’s designed, so I was having a hard time imagining other people would be either. But most older ladies, at least the ones in Faraway, have bad taste in clothes. Maybe they’d like her stuff. I just don’t know.
But what I do know is that as their conversation shifted from Mom’s financial plan to her family plan, I liked it less and less. When Dad asked how she sees the two of them being able to manage things at home, she said that everyone in our family, including him, will need to pitch in and take more responsibility.
I wasn’t sure what she had in mind for me. Cleaning toilets? Mowing the yard? It’s not like I don’t help out. I’m constantly babysitting my sisters and walking the dog. I’ve even been pretty good lately about keeping my room clean.
As I crouched outside their door, I waited for Mom to expand on what she meant, but she didn’t. “Rex, you’re living your dream. Shouldn’t I get to live mine?”
“I think it’s hard for two people to live their dream at the same time,” said Dad.
There was a long silence before Mom responded. “I’m doing this,” she said to my dad. “With or without you.”
Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.
—Vince Lombardi
Friday, September 12, 9:29 p.m.
Winners and Losers
Today was a day of winners and losers in Faraway.
This morning was the SGA assembly and election. Billy was a winner. But everyone knew he would be. And Sophie was a winner too!
Everyone seemed to like her new girl platform. She was so poised and sounded so passionate when she talked about giving everyone, even the new girl, a chance. I think people really connected with what she had to say.
She really killed it in her speech, plus she rocked a retro ’70s look. And she was so enthusiastic. When she found out she’d won, she was thanking everybody, even though she didn’t know who had voted for her.
Emily was also a winner today. At dance practice, Ms. Baumann announced who she had chosen to perform the grade solos at the dance show in November, and she picked Emily to dance the ninth grade solo.
Not that Emily was surprised—she’s clearly the best dancer in our grade and one of the best dancers on our team. But still, when she found out, she was so happy. She even hugged Ms. Baumann.
May was a winner too. She played in her first middle school soccer game and scored two goals. She told me all about it the second I got home from dance practice. She’s been playing sports for years, and her teams have won lots of games, but I’ve never seen her so excited.
Mom was also a winner. Tonight at dinner she announced that she signed a lease to rent retail space and that she’s opening Flora’s Fashions in downtown Faraway—next month. Even though I knew it was happening, I was surprised it would happen so soon. She showed us the designs she’d drawn and the bolts of fabrics she ordered. She had tears in her eyes, and I wasn’t sure what to say when she told us her lifelong dream of opening a store with clothes she designed is finally coming true.
Now for the losers. Or, at least, the people who seem like they’ve lost something.
First, Brynn. I was standing by her when the SGA winners were announced. When Sophie heard she won, she gave me an excited hug. Then she went to hug Brynn, but Brynn actually pulled away like she didn’t want to be hugged by Sophie. Sophie shrugged it off and went right on hugging other people.
Sophie might have been able to let it go, but I couldn’t. I felt anger bubbling up inside me. “That was mean.” I mumbled the words, but I’d meant for Brynn to hear me, and she had.
She looked at me like she was going to say something in response, but she didn’t. “I have to find Billy,” she said. Then she
ran off, and I watched as she found him and gave him a huge hug. She stayed glued to his side like he was the president and she was the first lady and they were at some official function where they were supposed to stick together.
I looked at Billy to see if he was uncomfortable with it, but it was hard to tell. He was laughing and smiling. I think he was just happy he’d won. But as Billy talked to people, I watched Brynn. I saw her eyes wander across the crowd and settle on Sophie. It was clear she’s not happy Billy and Sophie are on SGA together.
Next, my dog. Gilligan had to have his teeth cleaned today, and he had to be knocked out. I didn’t even know dogs could have their teeth cleaned. Apparently, Gilligan really needed it, which isn’t completely surprising because he has terrible breath. Still, it seemed kind of extreme that a dog would be knocked out for the sake of oral hygiene.
Last, but not least, Dad was a loser. Or at least I could tell he thought he was.
Dad loves to eat, but when Mom announced the news about signing a lease, I watched him pick at his dinner. I think he was worried about how much it’s going to cost and where we’re going to get the money. I could tell he was scared.
Which actually scared me.
What if something bad happens to my family? What if we run out of money? Thinking about it made me so overwhelmingly tense and stressed that I felt like I had to do something.
So after dinner, I went to my room, locked the door, and broke open the piggy bank I’ve had since grade school. I literally cracked open my beloved porcelain pig with a hairbrush. I pushed aside the shards and counted up what was inside. It amounted to a whopping $34.79. That’s it. I even counted twice. I don’t even see how it’s possible since I’ve been depositing all my spare change in there for years.
I wish I could do something helpful. I just don’t see any meaningful way if my life savings is next to nothing, which is why (unfortunately) I’m putting my name where it belongs.
In the Losers column.
I hope you understand, I’m too tense to pretend I like you.
—Marge Simpson
Wednesday, September 17
Study Hall
This morning before school was the first SGA meeting. Not like that should be a big deal for me, when I’m not even on SGA. But I was at my locker getting my books with Brynn when we saw the SGA kids coming out of their meeting. Brynn and I watched as Sophie and Billy walked together from the meeting. They didn’t see us see them as they were talking and laughing.
Brynn stiffened.
“I’m sure whatever they’re laughing about is no big deal,” I said.
But my words, which I’d meant to be calming, had the opposite effect on Brynn. “God,” she said. “You always take her side.” Then she walked off.
I feel like I need to do something before this situation gets really out of hand.
Friday, September 19, 7:30 p.m.
Talked to Brynn
After dance practice, I asked Brynn if she wanted to go for smoothies. “Great,” she said. “Let’s see if Emily, Kate, and Vanessa want to go too.”
“I’d rather just go with you. I kind of want to talk.” I’d been thinking about what I wanted to say since the other day when Brynn had gotten upset about Sophie and Billy laughing together.
“Sure,” said Brynn, like it wasn’t a problem.
We got our bags and walked to Smoothie King. As we walked, I did the talking. I made the speech I’d carefully rehearsed in my head all day. “I know things have been a little weird since Sophie moved here.”
Brynn nodded and looked like she appreciated me acknowledging it.
I kept going. “Even though Sophie moved here and she’s kind of family, it doesn’t change our friendship.” I purposely avoided saying anything accusatory, like pointing out that Brynn had been dismissive to Sophie the day of dance tryouts and downright rude after the SGA election.
“Thanks,” said Brynn. “I’m sorry if I’ve been …” She paused like she was trying to find the right word. Then she shrugged and looked down. “Whatever.”
It’s annoying that she wouldn’t acknowledge exactly what she’d done, but I knew it was her way of apologizing for the way she’s been acting. I linked my arm through Brynn’s like we used to do when we were little. “You’ll always be my best friend.”
She leaned into me as we walked, like she needed to be close to me. “It has been kind of weird since Sophie moved here. It changed things, you know?”
“I get it,” I said. “But it’s really important to me that the two of you get along. I hope you’ll try to get to know Sophie a little better. If you do, I really think you’ll like her.”
Brynn listened without interrupting. When I finished, I felt drained and kind of nervous for what Brynn’s response would be. I wasn’t sure if she was going to say that it bothers her that I spend time with Sophie and that I haven’t been a good friend to her since she moved here, or that she thinks Sophie likes Billy, or both, or something altogether different.
But she didn’t say any of those things.
“You’re right,” she said. “I’d like to get to know Sophie better. Why don’t you both come over tomorrow and we can all hang out.”
I couldn’t believe it. Sometimes I think I know Brynn so well, and then she manages to completely surprise me. “Tomorrow sounds great,” I said.
“Cool!” said Brynn. “Could you check with Sophie? I don’t have her number.”
“Sure,” I said and gave myself a virtual pat on the back.
Job well done.
Saturday, September 20, 4:59 p.m.
Home from Brynn’s
Some days just don’t go the way you anticipated. Sophie and I went over to Brynn’s today, like we’d planned. When we first got there, it was fine. Fun actually. Brynn’s mom was super sweet. “Welcome, girls!” She gave me a big hug and told Sophie she was so happy to have her over. Then she helped us make an incredible picnic lunch of hummus, pita, falafel, a salad with feta cheese and chicken in it, and baklava for dessert.
“I love Middle Eastern food,” said Sophie.
“I thought you might,” said Brynn’s mom. She told Sophie that she had a hunch she might be an adventurous eater since Sophie has lived in so many exciting places. She asked Sophie all about living in Paris and New York. I could tell she was trying hard to make her feel comfortable, and Brynn seemed like she was too.
When we took our lunch outside, Brynn went back in and got a big blanket that she spread out on the ground. As we sat down, Brynn was telling Sophie how much she liked her jeans and sweater, and they started talking about fashion, a topic they both like.
When the conversation shifted to school, Brynn asked Sophie how she likes her classes and how they compare to her classes in New York and Paris. I was happy to see that Brynn seemed genuinely interested in Sophie.
As they talked back and forth, I started to relax. Brynn’s dog, Riley, came outside and sat beside me while we ate. I fed him a piece of chicken from my salad. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and I realized how silly it had been of me to be so worried that we couldn’t all be friends.
Then, as we were munching on baklava, Brynn changed the subject. “Did you have a boyfriend in New York?” she asked Sophie.
“No,” said Sophie.
“Really?” Brynn said, like she was surprised.
Sophie shrugged. “No big deal.”
Brynn made a hmmm sound, which I knew meant she thought it was a bigger deal than Sophie was letting on. “So you’ve never had a boyfriend? You know, like, even if it wasn’t official.”
Sophie didn’t respond right away. I could tell she didn’t like the direction the conversation had taken. I thought it was a good time to change the subject. “C’mon,” I said to Brynn. “Let’s jump on the trampoline. We can teach Sophie how to do a flip.”
“That sounds like fun,” said Sophie.
I stood up, but Brynn didn’t move. “You must want a boyfriend,” she said to Sophie.
<
br /> “Not really,” Sophie said.
“Oh, sorry,” said Brynn. “I guess I just assume everyone wants a boyfriend because I have such an amazing one.” Then she paused and looked directly at Sophie like she wanted her to hear every word she was about to say. “Billy and I are so close,” she said. “We love hanging out. It’s so cool because every time we’re together, we just get closer.” She smiled, like just thinking about Billy made her happy. “I wouldn’t tell everyone that,” she said to Sophie.
But I knew Brynn wasn’t actually confiding in her. She wasn’t trusting Sophie—she was sending her a message that Billy belongs to her. I looked at Sophie, but it was hard to tell what she was thinking.
I had to step in. “All this boy talk is getting boring.” I grabbed Sophie and Brynn by the arms and led them over to the trampoline.
We all got on and started bouncing around. As Brynn and I demonstrated the flips we’d perfected during years of jumping, Brynn dropped the subject. I’m still not sure Sophie was aware of what Brynn was doing. Even though she’s super cool in lots of ways, sometimes she seems kind of clueless when it comes to other people.
I hope she didn’t know what Brynn was doing. But I knew.
And I didn’t like it.
I am the poet of the Body and I am the poet of the Soul.
—Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”
Saturday, September 27, 1:15 p.m.
Busy week, no time to write
We had our first dance competition this morning, and our team did really well! Everyone was laughing and talking on the bus ride home. Brynn sat next to me, and we chatted the whole way about the other teams and how they performed. We were just a few minutes from school when I got a text from Sophie asking me if I wanted to hang out this afternoon.
Brynn looked over my shoulder at my phone and read the text. “I was going to ask you if you wanted to do something,” she said.
I couldn’t believe she’d read my text, and it made me kind of mad because we’d been on the bus for almost an hour and she hadn’t said a word about doing anything until she read the text from Sophie. I felt like she was trying to make me choose between her and Sophie, and I wasn’t going to do that.
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