If We Were a Movie

by Kelly Oram

  The girl gave me a sultry smile. “Hey, gorgeous. You were amazing last night.”

  When I stopped her from wrapping her arms around my neck, she settled for running her hands up my chest. I tried to stand up again and push her off me, but Chris and Tyler grabbed my arms and held them behind my back in my chair. If I wanted to escape it was going to take some serious effort, and the girl in my lap could get hurt. “Look,” I said to her, “you’re beautiful, but I’m not interested. I have a girlfriend.”

  Her smile never faltered. “Not one worth keeping, from what I hear.”

  She leaned forward, throwing her mouth on mine. I didn’t kiss her back, but I couldn’t stop her, either, while my brothers held me down. Everyone in the room howled and laughed as she kissed me. My drunken neighbor started chanting “Save Runt! Save Runt! Save Runt!” and before long everyone else joined in. The entire floor could hear the ruckus.

  The second my brothers loosened their grips enough for me to escape, I pulled Vanessa off of me. When she stumbled, I was forced to grab her and help her back to the place she’d been sitting before she’d attacked me. She giggled the entire way. “Aw, you’re so sweet. And yummy.”

  I rolled my eyes as I deposited her into her friend’s waiting arms, then shot a flat look at my brothers. When they gave me matching triumphant grins, something finally clicked in my brain. You’d think I would be angry or embarrassed after what just happened, but I wasn’t. I was simply done. In that moment, I looked at my brothers, then around the room at their drunken friends, and clarity struck me. All of this was meaningless. I didn’t need it, and I didn’t have to keep living it.

  Take a chance, Pearl had said. Take it for you.

  Jordan was standing in the doorway to my room, leaning against the frame, watching me with both amusement and intrigue. We both knew my mind was made up. She narrowed her eyes, but I could see the curiosity in them. The excitement. “What’ll it be, Joe?” she asked.

  “Who’s Joe?” Chris asked, while Tyler said, “Who’s the chick?”

  I ignored them both, staying locked in Jordan’s stare. “There’s got to be something in between this and jumping into a volcano.”

  She held my gaze and nodded, a soft smile on her face. “There is. All you have to do is say yes.”

  She waited. I kept staring. Debating. Considering. Pearl’s words repeated in my mind like an old ABBA song. Take a chance. Take a chance. Take a chance.

  An unexpected opportunity will change your life. That was my fortune. Sophie and Pearl were right. I needed a change.

  “Say yes to what?” Chris asked. “What are you talking about? Who is this chick?”

  My mouth tipped up into a crooked grin. “She’s my new roommate.”

  A fat pause followed my statement, and then both of my brothers exploded. “Your roommate?” they chimed in unison.

  “Yup. I’m moving out. Right now,” I added, stepping over Vanessa to reach a duffle bag on my closet shelf. “I am so done with all of this.”

  Jordan finally entered the room, ignoring the incredulous looks everyone was throwing her way, and stared down at the disaster on my bed. She picked up my hard drive and brushed off the rice stuck to it. “Don’t lose hope yet. Junior is a miracle worker. We’ll see what he can do.”

  I handed her a box and let her gather up all my computer parts while I packed a bag. Chris yanked the duffle from my hands. “What do you mean, you’re moving out? You can’t move out.”

  “It’s already done.” I jerked the bag back. “I’ll come by tomorrow for the rest of my stuff.”

  Shock settled in Chris’s gaze as he realized I was serious. Tyler moved next to him, but the only thing in his eyes was blazing anger. “You’re ditching us?”

  I shrugged. “I never wanted to room together in the first place.”

  His jaw clenched tight enough that Chris put a hand on his shoulder—either to support him or hold him back from taking a swing—and glared at me. “You really hate us that much?”

  The question didn’t surprise me. I knew they would take this personally. We’d been inseparable our entire lives. Well, aside from the fact that the two of them had kicked me out of our bedroom into the guest room when we were eleven, which I hadn’t cried about. But other than that we’d done almost everything together our entire lives. I knew this would feel like a breakup at first, but I had to believe it wouldn’t be like that forever. I mean, we had to grow up and get our own lives eventually, right?

  Still, I felt a little bad because beneath the anger rolling off my brothers, I could tell they were hurt. “I don’t hate you,” I promised, grabbing my toiletry bag. Not needing to use the community bathrooms was definitely another perk to this arrangement. “I just need space. I’m done with the partying and the going out. I’m done with you guys constantly trying to push women on me, trying to break me up with Psycho Sophie.”

  Chris had the decency to look chagrined, but Tyler huffed. “Right. Like you’re going to have to worry about her anymore after she finds out you’re moving in with a chick. Not that I’ll mind when she dumps you.”

  I refused to cringe, even though I knew that was a real possibility. Sophie was going to be livid with me, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t stay here. “Are you kidding? Sophie’s the one who forced me to contact Jordan. This was her idea. She practically begged me to do it.”

  Tyler shook his head. “Sophie begged you to move in with another woman? I don’t think so.”

  “Yeah, she did. She’s that desperate to get me away from you.”

  Tyler’s eyes narrowed. When his hands balled into fists, Chris thrust his arms in front of Tyler—definitely holding him back this time. Tyler was by far the hothead of the three of us. “Fine,” he spat. “Go, then. We’re sick of you dragging us down all the time anyway.”

  “I’ve been dragging you down?” I laughed bitterly and slung my bag over my shoulder. “Whatever. Enjoy the rest of your party. I’ve got to go fix the mess you guys created for me.”

  I left without looking back. It was surprisingly easy to do, considering how impossible it had been to say no to rooming with my brothers in the first place.

  I thought maybe I’d feel panic or regret, but as I stepped out onto the sidewalk and breathed in a huge breath of chilly night air, I was actually on a bit of an adrenaline high.

  “Nothing like a big breath of fresh New York City air,” Jordan teased. “All that lovely car exhaust and urine…” She breathed in the way I had just done and sighed blissfully. “Smells amazing.”

  I didn’t care that she was mocking me. I was in way too good a mood. “Smells like freedom.”

  “And victory.”

  I hadn’t thought of it that way, but she was right. I’d definitely been victorious tonight. Maybe it didn’t seem like much to anyone else, but I’d been trapped by my brothers since the day I was born. “And relief.”

  Jordan grinned and led me back in the direction of her apartment. “Good. I’m glad. I was worried that once you left you might feel like you’d just accidentally jumped into the lava since you’d already told me you couldn’t move in.”

  I glanced at the bustling city around me. It felt different now somehow. Like suddenly it was mine to explore and experience. To claim. “Not at all,” I said. “Sophie’s going to blow a gasket over you, but I can’t seem to make myself feel bad.” And that was the honest truth.

  Jordan looked up at me, a hint of mischief sparkling in her eyes. “Can I be honest with you?” At my curious look, she said, “I don’t feel bad, either. I’m really glad you’re moving in.”

  She smiled at me, then turned a corner down a less busy street. I walked along in an easy silence, contemplating the new friendship I’d just made. Her confession made me feel good. It brought a warmth to my chest that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It wasn’t that she was cute, and she hadn’t been flirting. I felt understood.

  Jordan and I seemed to have a lot in common—our artistic passion,
senses of humor, and easy personalities, for starters—but more than that, we were two people at the same turning point in our lives. We were both trying to break away from the lives we’d been dealt, to be our own people. I liked her. I was glad I’d met her, and I could already tell that we were going to be good friends.

  “You’re so desperate for my half of the rent that you’re excited to have me even after meeting my insane brothers and witnessing that…whatever that was back there?”

  Jordan laughed. “Actually, I think it’s Psycho Sophie that has me the most worried, and yes, I am that desperate, but not for the rent. I just don’t want to be alone. This is New York City, you know. I need someone I can blame for any noises I hear at night. I’ll feel safer with you there. I like the idea of having a man around to protect me, and to open stubborn jars and fix broken stuff.”

  I laughed. “I hate to break it to you, but I’m not exactly Lebron James. If someone breaks in, we’ll both be in trouble.”

  Jordan looked me over from head to toe and sighed. “Fine. We’ll install a security system. But you can still open jars for me, right?”

  “That I can do. I can probably manage the handyman thing, too. Well—at least, I can do the guy thing where I pretend I know what I’m doing but really only make things worse and then have to call the real handyman when you’re not home.”

  Jordan burst into laughter.

  “Oh, and I don’t do spiders.”

  She stopped laughing and gasped. “Now, that’s just not fair. If you’re not going to protect me from bad guys, then you at least have to kill the bugs for me.”

  “Flies and ants, no problem. Maybe even mice. But I’m telling you, any spiders and I’ll be up on the couch making you chase it. I hate to admit it, but it’s better you know in advance.”

  “Well, we’ll be like that movie She’s the Man, then, ’cause I’ll be up on the couch screaming with you. I hate spiders.”

  I laughed. “Okay, that one I’ve seen, and you’re dead on. That part where the tarantula gets loose and Channing Tatum is jumping around on the bed screaming as badly as Amanda Bynes? That would definitely be me.”

  “Well, I’ve yet to see any spiders in my apartment, so I think we’re safe. But now that you mention it, those two are totally us.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “Well, they’re a guy and a girl,” Jordan said, “and they’re roommates.”

  “That’s all you’ve got?” I teased.

  The taunt produced a scowl from Jordan that made me laugh again.

  “There’s the soccer thing,” she said. “I played soccer in high school, just like Amanda Bynes in the movie. I’m also kind of goofy and clumsy like her.”

  “You do have that all-American girl thing going on. But I don’t play soccer, and I hardly have Channing Tatum’s abs, so I don’t see how I’m like that movie other than the roommate and the spider thing.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Channing and Amanda are totally the cutest roommates ever in that movie, and I can already tell that we’re going to be the cutest roommates ever, too. It’s enough. Plus, like you said, there’s the fear of spiders thing. That’s huge.”

  I had a feeling she could argue this topic all night long, so I let her have her analogy. “There is the spider thing,” I agreed. “And I’m not exaggerating, either. I’ve had this crazy fear of spiders ever since my brothers made me watch Arachnophobia when we were little.”

  “Mm, Arachnophobia. Now that is a classic. Nothing like a good B-flick horror.” A giggle escaped her, and she suddenly grinned up at me. “I can totally picture the three of you boys sneaking downstairs late at night to watch that movie as kids. You hiding your face under a blanket…screaming like a little girl…your brothers torturing you with plastic spiders for weeks afterward…”

  When I groaned, Jordan burst into obnoxious laughter. “I knew it,” I said. “I have absolutely no dignity left after what my brothers did back there. I could have stopped them, you know.”

  Jordan paused in front of a darkened store front, eyeing me skeptically. I knew she was just giving me a hard time again, but I couldn’t help trying to defend myself. “I just didn’t want to hurt that poor girl’s feelings.”

  After making me sweat it out for a few more seconds, she finally cracked a smile. “I know. You were quite the gentleman, letting Tipsy Trixie down gently and then helping her back to her spot on your closet floor.” She stepped up to an unmarked door next to the closed shop and pressed the buzzer. “But you actually lost all your dignity before that when I learned your nickname, Runt.”

  “Do not go there. That’s not even funny.”

  Except it was. We both cracked up and were laughing so hard Jordan almost couldn’t identify herself when some guy with a thick Brooklyn accent answered her call over the speaker. “Junior!” she called in a singsong voice. “How’s my favorite computer genius tonight?”

  There was a heavy sigh, but even over the intercom I could hear the affection in it. “I know that tone in your voice, Jordan, and you can forget it. Whatever you’ve screwed up this time, it can wait until tomorrow. We just hit level sixty-three on the new Demon Slayers game, and I’m not quitting now no matter how urgent it is.”

  Hands shoved in my jacket pockets, I leaned against the door, grinning. This promised to be an entertaining show. Jordan pressed the intercom button. “Please, Junior? I know it’s late, and I could find a twenty-four-hour computer repair place, but this is an emergency and you’re the only person I trust. You’re the best. You know you are.”

  Another deep sigh and a low grumble. “And you’re a pain.”

  The door buzzed and clicked. Jordan winked as she opened it and passed by me. I followed her up a narrow set of stairs where there was a second door. It had been cracked open and Jordan walked right through, knocking as she entered. “Hey, Junior!”

  She walked in and made herself at home on a sofa, patting the spot next to her. I joined her and looked around. The apartment was small and messy, but in good repair, and filled to the brim with tech equipment. A short, thin Latino man who I’d guess to be in his late twenties sat at a desk in front of three giant monitors, each bigger than the TV I grew up watching. He was playing an online video game with what looked like four other guys. I could hear them all chatting enthusiastically as they slew demons with broadswords and magical fireballs.

  “Level sixty-three already?” Jordan asked. “How long have you been playing?”

  “Eight and a half hours,” Junior answered, without taking his eyes off the screen. “And if you weren’t so cute, I’d make you come back tomorrow after we beat it, like everyone else.”

  “Oh, dude, Junior,” one of the guys on the computer said. “You’ve got a hot chick over there?”

  Junior laughed. “Always, bro. So far, this one only ever uses me for my computer skills, but one of these days she’s going to ditch her loser boyfriend and start using me for my body.”

  He turned to blow Jordan a kiss, and finally noticed me sitting there. “Oh, whoops.” He flashed me a chagrined smile. “Sorry, dude. You know that loser boyfriend comment wasn’t personal.”

  Jordan rolled her eyes at his pout. I started to explain that I wasn’t her boyfriend, but she cut me off before I could say anything. “Junior, this is Nate. We need you to work your magic on his computer.”

  Junior turned his gaze back to his video game. “You’re asking me to do favors for your boyfriend now? You’re breaking my heart here, chica.” Sparing me a quick glance, he added, “No offense, man, but I’ve been trying to steal your woman since long before you were in the picture.”

  I doubt I would have been offended even if I were Jordan’s boyfriend. The guy was entertaining. “No offense taken. And I’m not her boyfriend.”

  He eyed me again. “Not her boyfriend, huh? Then who are you?”

  Jordan beat me to the answer. “He’s my new roommate, and he has a girlfriend. I, on the other hand, have no bo
yfriend anymore.”

  Junior stopped playing his game and turned in his chair to gape at Jordan. “You broke up with your man?”

  “Kicked his cheating butt to the curb, and we’re on a time crunch here, Junior. Are you going to help us or not?”

  Junior leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest, narrowing his eyes at Jordan. “Fine. I’ll do it for a date.”

  His gamer friends heard him and began howling with laughter and catcalling. He flipped them off and continued to stare Jordan down. She shook her head and countered his offer. “Sorry. I’ve sworn off guys forever. How about you do it because I’m your friend and you want to help me out?”

  “You’re my girl, Jordan, but he’s not my friend.” He pointed his thumb at me and turned back to his game. “We’re talking about the new Demon Slayers here, babe. We want to be the first ones to beat it. I’d give that up for a date.”

  All of his friends started to protest, demanding he not ditch them. “Bros before hos, dude!” one of them shouted. “Bros before hos!”

  “You guys only say that because none of you losers have chicks to put the moves on.”

  I laughed and was about to tell him I could pay him, but again Jordan spoke before I could. “Red Bulls tickets.”

  Junior froze and turned to Jordan. “Your Red Bulls tickets?”

  Jordan nodded. “My seats.”

  Junior was clearly tempted. While he weighed the offer, I tried to figure out what Red Bulls tickets were. “Red Bulls?” I asked Jordan.

  “MLS.” When I was still confused, she sighed. “Major League Soccer. The Red Bulls are New York’s professional team.” She stretched out her hoodie to show me the logo. It had a soccer ball on it and said LA Galaxy. “LA’s my team, but soccer is soccer, so I got season tickets for New York. Junior, however, is the Red Bulls’ biggest fan.” She flashed the guy a wicked grin. “What do you say, Junior? You know where my seats are.”