by Jani Kay
What hurt the most was that I couldn’t say goodbye to Mama. After dinner I’d given her a hug and kissed her goodnight.
I’ll never do that again. Or feel her arms circle around me as I breathed in her familiar scent.
I blinked fast. “I’m ready. Let’s go.” My chest tightened as I picked up the backpack that contained all my most precious worldly possessions and a few items of clothing. This was it. I swallowed hard as I looked around my bedroom for the last time. With shallow breaths, I got up from the bed and walked to the door.
One life was ending and a new one awaited me.
Everything I’d ever known left behind me.
I was never coming back.
Chapter 19 — Alessandra
“Are you ready?” Cobra’s voice was gruff as he hooked his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him.
The drive from my house to the village where Cobra and his friends were staying had been the most anxious of my whole life. Cold sweat had broken out on my skin as I realized that this was finally it. Fear had gripped my heart and it raced at a million miles an hour as I kept telling myself everything would be fine. The moon hung low, illuminating the dark roads as they stretched out in front of us, each mile taking me closer to my destiny.
Please don’t let this be the night we all die. I prayed to God asking for mercy. I’d never been as excited and afraid at the same time.
The lump in my throat made it difficult to speak, so I simply nodded and leaned my head against his chest. I took a few deep breaths, filling my nostrils with the scent that was Cobra. Somehow just being in his embrace both calmed and fired me up. The parts of me that had been fearful earlier were no longer trembling. Cobra made me feel safe. Protected. Cared for.
If only he loved me like I loved him. But I was happy enough that he wanted me. I’d be his any way he’d have me.
He rubbed up and down my back. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.” He planted a kiss in my hair, his sweet gesture calming me down further.
Cobra’s brothers entered the room. Their faces were like stone, each one staring directly at me as they approached.
The one called Ryder had a tick jumping in his jaw. He didn’t seem happy to see me at all. On closer inspection, I noticed that his left eye was twitching, too. I'd never noticed it before, and now it made my stomach sink into my shoes. He didn’t like what was happening, but he didn’t say a word.
“Let the games begin,” Razor said. He was relaxed and calm, as if smuggling someone across the border was an everyday event. His eyes gleamed in the light and he rubbed his hands together as if he was excited by the whole idea.
Hammer spoke to Esmé, holding her hand as he said goodbye. I watched tears flow over my best friend’s cheeks and I knew then she liked that man a lot more than what she’d let on before.
“We need to leave. Say goodbye to Esmérelda,” Cobra said as he let go of me. “Every moment wasted is a chance to be discovered.”
Oh, God. Was I doing the right thing? Fear crept into my soul, and dread crawled up my spine at the thought that this could be the worst night in my life. What if I was leading four young men straight to their deaths because of what my heart desired? How could I ever justify that?
Cobra looked down at me. The smile that lit his face melted my heart. His good intentions shone so brightly that it extinguished most of the fear I’d allowed to seize my body.
He pressed his hand into the small of my back and gently shoved me forward toward Esmé. She opened her arms and pulled me into a hug, chanting our favorite words into my ear.
“Friends forever. Through thick and thin. Always and forever.”
“Always and forever,” I choked out, fighting to not turn into a blubbering mess. I'd come to the point of no return. All these years I’d wished for Cobra to take me with him on his steel horse, and now it was time to go.
“Stay strong. And thank you for helping me. I love you, Essie.”
She gave me a sorry puppy-dog look that nearly broke my heart. “Stay safe, my friend. Stay alive.”
One final hug and I let go, my stomach in a tight knot and my blood racing to my head, making the world spin around me.
I turned to Cobra and held out my hand. “I'm ready. Let’s go.”
Cobra pulled me back into his embrace and dipped his head to plant a soft lingering kiss on my lips. My first real kiss.
It was everything I dreamed and more. The warm tenderness of his lips on mine made all the fear disappear for a moment. He was worth it. I’d face anything and anyone for a chance to be kissed by Cobra for the rest of my life.
“My brave girl. I promise to keep you safe.” He looked up at his brothers, staring each of them in the eye, one by one. “We all do.”
I turned my head to look at Ryder. He nodded, but his arms were crossed over his chest. He appeared large and imposing, standing there with a grim expression and his eye still twitching.
“From this day, you become my sister. I will protect you like I protect all of my family,” Ryder said, his gaze never leaving mine. What I saw in the depths of his beautiful green eyes amazed and troubled me. Loyalty. Pride. Worry.
It wasn’t that Ryder disliked me. I sensed that once I was taken into the fold of the MC, I'd become like true family to him.
“That's exactly what I wanted to hear, Ryder.” Cobra patted Ryder on the back and then pulled him into a man-hug.
“You know I love you, man. We’re in this fucking thing together. Let’s get the hell outta here; this place is creeping me out the longer we stay.” Ryder grabbed his helmet and made his way to the door.
Cobra picked up a full helmet and held it in front of me. It was different to the ones I’d seen him and the other guys wear. “This is yours. See here?” He tapped a finger on a microphone. “You can talk to me through this. But only if it’s important stuff, yeah? I need to keep my brain focused, okay?”
I took it from him and placed it on my head. It felt awkward and heavy, and for a few moments I struggled to breathe.
Razor took a step forward and opened the visor. “You’ll get used to it after a while. Don't forget to breathe.”
Nodding was difficult, so I just smiled, my throat too dry to say a word. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as Cobra helped me into a worn leather jacket and pulled me outside.
“This your first time on a motorcycle?” Razor asked.
“Yes,” I said, my voice quivering.
“Fuck,” Ryder growled, scaring the shit out of me.
Cobra stood by his huge black Harley. “I get on first, then you get on behind me. Hold on tight, okay? Hammer has put up the sissy bar behind your ass so you have something to hold onto besides me. And keep your feet here on the footrests.”
Cobra straddled the beast. He shifted forward to make space for me, then nodded for me to get on behind him. Razor held my arm, letting me lean on him as I balanced my weight until I sat tightly against Cobra. With my heart beating in my throat I placed both arms around Cobra’s torso. He took hold of both of my hands and pressed them against his chest, rubbing small circles over my skin with his thumbs.
“Remember to lean with the bike, especially around corners. You’ve gotta become one with the man in front of you and the machine. Think you can do that?” Razor asked, concern in his voice.
“Yes. I can do this,” I said, unwilling to show them just how far out of my depth I was.
“Luckily you are light. You won't slow Cobra down much. Listen to everything he tells you and whatever happens, do not fall asleep, okay?”
With the amount of adrenaline spiking my body there was no way in hell I’d nod off.
I expected the bikes to roar out of the village, but the guys started their engines as quietly as they could, one by one so that the noise wasn’t overwhelming. Razor rode out first, and only when he was a few hundred yards away did Cobra follow.
I tightened my hold around Cobra’s waist, being careful not to squeeze his last breath out
of him. I took a last look at my friend as she stood in the moonlight, her skin pale and tears streaming down her cheeks. I bit into my lower lip, forcing myself to hold back the sobs burning in my throat.
The moon hung so low that if I stuck my hand out I’d be able to touch it. This was goodbye to everything I knew. I was leaving my life behind me to start a new one.
I was ready.
Chapter 20 — Cobra
Alessandra was a natural on the back of my bike. At first she was stiff and unyielding, but after about half an hour she relaxed into me, and her deathlike grip on my shirt loosened.
So far, we’d been lucky—no cops, and no roadblocks of any kind. I sucked the night air into my lungs and focused on the road. We had a long way to go until we were safe.
We’d ride for an hour or two, and then we’d stop so everyone could stretch their legs. Hammer had planned our route and although we usually skipped the towns and pissed in the bushes, I didn’t want to subject Alessandra to that.
Sure, it was risky stopping in populated areas, but I'd take my chances, given the precious cargo I was carrying. I remembered my first ride on the back of my father’s Harley and how exhausting it had been. Every bone in my body had ached for days after, and I’d still felt the road moving beneath me when I closed my eyes.
I squeezed Alessandra’s hand and she squeezed back, letting me know she was okay. At least, I hoped to God she was. Technically this was kidnapping. The fact that she wanted to come with me would bear no weight in the cartel court of justice if her father or the Don caught us. Their court would be swift and merciless. We’d be lucky to die a quick death.
An hour and a half later I pulled over to the side of the road at a rest stop. Razor had gone a few minutes ahead to check out that it was safe. He waited in front of the building and as we stopped, he got off his Harley with a grin and came to help Alessandra off the back of mine.
As soon as I lifted her shield and saw the fright in her eyes, panic swept through me. Was she regretting this? It wasn’t too late to turn back. If we snuck her back into the village and dropped her at Esmérelda’s house, no damage would’ve been done. Her friend could take her home before her parents woke up.
“Are you okay, baby?” I asked, my voice laced with worry. If she really wanted to go back, I'd do it for her. But it would crush my fucking heart.
“Yeah. I . . . I just need to pee. Urgently.” She squeezed her thighs together, her gaze darting around to find the ladies’ restroom.
I chuckled, helping her remove the helmet. “It’s right behind you. I thought you’d need to go.”
Moments later, she sprinted to the ladies’ room, leaving me standing there with her helmet in my hands. A full ten minutes passed and still she hadn’t returned. All the boys had been for a piss and were eager to get going again.
“What’s taking her so long? We’re not at some club where she has to straighten her hair or any shit like that,” Ryder grumbled, looking at his watch. I was as impatient as he was, my nerves still shot to hell. The slightest sound made my body jerk. I wouldn’t feel easy until we reached the other side of the border where Daemon was waiting for us.
“I’m going in to check,” I said, shoving her helmet into Razor’s hands as I strode to the ladies’ restroom. We were the only people at this stop, but that wouldn’t last long before someone else turned up.
The smell of vomit hit my nostrils. “Alessandra? Are you okay?”
She didn’t answer, so I went inside. She knelt by the toilet, her body slumped forward as she heaved.
“Baby! What’s wrong?” I cried, rushing to her side.
“No. Go away. I don’t want you to see me like this,” she shrieked, holding out her hand to block me.
“Don't be silly. From today we’re a team. You will see all of me—all my warts, and my ugly side.” I indicated around the space. “This is nothing. I’ve seen plenty of women throw up.”
She retched again, but nothing came out. She was shaking like a fucking leaf. I pulled her up to her feet. The floor was filthy and I didn’t want her sitting there a moment longer. I flushed the toilet and picked her up, carrying her to the basin.
“Rinse your mouth,” I ordered, pushing a few damp strands of hair behind her ear. She leaned over as I held her, rinsing her mouth a few times and then splashing her face with cold water.
I handed her the last of the paper towel from the dispenser on the wall and waited for her to dry her face. I dug into my pocket and found the mints I kept to freshen my breath after smoking and handed her two. She popped them out of their wrappers and into her mouth.
“Thank you,” she whispered. Her lower lip quivered as she stared at me with huge brown eyes.
I had to know if she regretted this.
I turned her around and pushed her against the wall so that she could lean against it for support. Lifting her face, I stared into her eyes, looking for answers.
“Baby,” I rasped, “have you changed your mind? Do you want me to take you back? It’s not too late.”
My heart beat so loudly against my ribs I was sure she could hear it in the silence that fell between us.
Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she shook her head. “No. I want to be with you more than anything. I promise I'm okay. It . . . it’s just so final,” she whispered as a sob tore through her.
“Are you sure? I need you to think hard. This is the last chance you have to change your mind. The more time that passes, the harder it will be to go back undetected. You understand?” My heart ached. I wanted her to choose me, but there was no way I was forcing her.
We stared at one another for a long moment. What did we really know about one another? Besides a few stolen moments, Alessandra was nothing more than the girl who inhabited my dreams. Could we make this work? Had I made an epic fucking mistake?
“Cobra, I'm sure. I've always wanted to be with you. Nothing has changed. It’s just my fear of the unknown. And the fear that someone will catch us and hurt you. I couldn’t bare that—it would kill me.”
“Baby, fuck. I'm not letting anyone catch us. And I sure as fuck am not planning on dying, yet. Not before I've been inside you at least once. It’s what keeps me going—the need to fuck you and make you mine.”
“Hold me, Cobra. Make it better,” she whimpered, pushing her trembling body against me.
“Jesus, baby, I can’t deny you. I want you so fucking much. My cock is aching for you.”
“Then let your cock have what it wants. Fuck me now, so that if we die, at least you’ve claimed me.” She grabbed hold of my hand and placed it on her breast. I squeezed the firm flesh in my palm, my resolve crumbling as I hankered after her warmth.
I pushed her against the wall, my lips possessing hers. She moaned into my mouth, letting me ravish her with my tongue. I tasted the mint on her breath, eager for more of her.
Reluctant as fuck, I pulled away. My cock was aching to get inside her. To thrust deep and hard. “No, baby—this is what will keep us alive. We need to get through this so that we can be together. And when I make you mine, it won't be in a filthy restroom on the side of the road.”
“Hey, you guys, what the fuck, man. We gotta get back on the road.” Ryder’s voice echoed against the tiles reminding me that we had to hurry.
“Come. We gotta go. As much as I wanna just have my way with you here, especially after feeling your pussy rub up against my ass on the back of my bike, we have to get back on the road.”
I kissed her one more time, holding her face in both hands. “You’re making me a happy man, Alessandra. I’ve wanted you for so fucking long and now it’s gonna happen. As soon as we get to the other side and we’re safe, my cock will have its way. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Feeling better now?” I asked, skimming my hand over her ass, wondering how I was going to get my dick to behave now she’d stirred the beast.
She smiled up at me. “I can’t believe you kissed me after I puked.”
“Baby, that mouth of yours is as sweet as your pussy. Nothing will keep me away from either one.”
“Promise?”
“Promise to fuck you till you can’t walk? Yeah, baby. You can bet your life on it. Mine too, and the boys’. Because fucking you is what I’m living for.”
Someone banged on the door. “There are lights approaching, Cobra. Get moving, man. We need to get the fuck outta here . . . now.” Ryder sounded agitated. We had no way of knowing who was approaching. It was time to get going.
“Coming,” I yelled back, wishing it were the other kind of coming I was alluding to. But my time would come. If we weren’t all dead by morning.
Chapter 21 — Cobra
We rode all night, putting miles of road between the village and us. Why the fuck did Antonio’s place have to be so far from the border? I wouldn’t breathe easy until we crossed that goddamn line.
So far the only incident we’d had was when two guys tried to rob Razor while he was taking a piss. Big fucking mistake. If it were any other night, they may have come off lighter, but it wasn’t their lucky evening. Ryder found Razor practically slicing the guys to shreds with the hidden razors in his boots, kicking their bodies as he cursed them to hell.
Ryder had pried Razor away, virtually picking him up with his brute strength and removing him from the scene.
“Christ, all we need is for the fucking cops to be on our tails,” Ryder muttered as he pushed Razor toward his motorcycle. “You didn’t have to go to fucking town on them like you did.”
“Yeah, I did. Motherfuckers tried to steal from me,” Razor spat, his face still contorted in anger. His arms were flailing wildly as he tried to get loose from Ryder’s grip. “Let me go, man.”
Jesus, his hotheadedness was bound to get us into trouble.
“No. Get the fuck back on your motorcycle,” Ryder growled at him.
I held my hand in the air. “Calm the fuck down, both of you. Ryder is right. The last thing we need is attention drawn to us. You're a fucking idiot, Razor. Just when I think you’ve grown up, you prove me fucking wrong.”