‘Really? You are brilliant. The best brother ever.’ She stood on tiptoes, throwing her arms around his neck and reached up to kiss him. ‘Thank you!’
Max looked at me, bemusement on his face, but I could tell by the glint in his eye and the smile on his lips that he was touched by Katy’s unexpected show of affection.
*
‘Oh my god, my feet!’
In the bustling Italian restaurant the waiter showed us to a corner table – I’d never been so pleased to sit down. We dumped our numerous bags on the floor and received the menus gratefully, immediately putting in an order of a white wine spritzer for me and a Diet Coke for Katy, as we were both gasping for a drink. I swear we’d been in every clothes shop in the arcade, possibly twice, but Katy clearly had tons more stamina than me for shopping. Still, I couldn’t complain because it had been a wholly successful trip. First off, we’d managed to find an adorable silver bracelet for Stella’s christening, one that I’d be able to buy charms for on each of her birthdays, and a complete set of Beatrix Potter’s books in a presentation case. Then we started on the search for something for me to wear to the inaugural Little Leyton summer ball. In my mind I knew exactly how I wanted to look, elegant and sophisticated, yet understated too, so I was thinking something long and classic, in a neutral colour, that made me look two sizes smaller. It should have been an easy task, but it wasn’t. Spending most of my time in jeans and sweatshirts, I hated trying on clothes at the best of times, but today everything I picked up seemed too fancy, too expensive and just not me. The couple of dresses I did try on made me look like a small girl dressing up in her mum’s clothes. Thank goodness Katy was there. She convinced me, when my enthusiasm was waning and I was about to give up and go home, that we couldn’t even think about leaving until I’d found the perfect dress. Going back to the very first shop we’d visited, Katy’s eyes had alighted on a pale turquoise bias-cut dress.
‘Try this,’ she’d said. ‘It’s in your size.’
I felt my lip curl involuntarily in disbelief. Not only was it in a bright colour that I would never have chosen for myself, it was far too fussy with lots of layers at the top falling like a soft waterfall, and a long sweeping skirt.
‘I’m not sure…’
‘Just try it. You never know it might suit you.’ She’d almost manhandled me into the changing rooms.
Now, sitting in the restaurant, my feet throbbing as though I’d just run a marathon, I was so pleased that Katy had pressed me to try it on. Left to my own devices I would never have picked it up but as soon as I put it on, I knew it was the one. Cinderella would go to the ball after all! It was less formal than I’d been looking for, much more floaty and summery, but the colour suited me and the sensation of the fabric swishing against my skin had given me a delightful thrill of anticipation at the thought of wearing it on the night of the ball. With some silver strappy sandals we found, I knew I had the perfect outfit. Hitting the shops with Katy had definitely been a good idea, helping us to bond on so many levels.
The waiter delivered our drinks and I took a much longed for sip.
‘So are you pleased with what you’ve bought?’
Katy nodded, surveying the bags at her feet. After we’d picked up my bits, she’d headed for a sprawling mega-store where she’d swept around like a woman on a mission, filling her huge basket with T-shirts, shorts, jeans and underwear and a small piece of black fabric which was supposedly a body-con dress. When she'd showed it to me, my eyes had widened and I’d had to bite my tongue to stop myself from commenting on just how revealing it was. Honestly, I felt a hundred years old!
‘Yes. I’m so happy.’ She grinned. ‘I didn’t think I’d be able to buy anything and now I’ve got a whole new wardrobe. Maybe Max isn’t so bad after all.’
‘Oh, he’s lovely,’ I said, jumping in with my agreement. Did I detect a thawing in her attitude towards her brother? ‘I know he can be grouchy at times, but he’s a real softy at heart.’
‘Yes, I’m getting used to him. Slowly,’ she said laughing, raising her eyes. ‘To be honest though, I find it much easier talking to you. He can be a bit…’ Her gaze drifted around the restaurant, in search of the right word.
‘Intense?’ I offered.
‘Yep, that’s it. He’s a bit full-on, isn’t he? He has this sort of wild energy that fills all the air in a room, and then when he leaves, it’s like you can breathe again.’
I couldn’t help smiling at Katy’s description of her brother. He was a bit of a whirlwind, admittedly, his presence demanding your full attention, but in many ways, Katy was just like him.
‘Max just wants to help. If there’s a problem he wants to solve it. He thrives on that kind of thing. Admittedly his problems usually involve late deliveries and dodgy building practices which he knows exactly how to handle. I think teenage girls and mothers might be a little out of his comfort zone.’ I managed to raise a smile from Katy. ‘Really though, he’ll be there for you. If you do want to talk.’
‘Yeah.’ Her gaze dropped to her fingernails. ‘It’s hard though, it’s like I don’t know what to say.’
My hand reached across the table for hers. ‘What happened Katy? With your mum? It must have been something bad for you to fall out with her?’
She looked at me warily, as if weighing up whether she should tell me or not. In the background, the sound of a tray full of crockery shattering on the floor reverberated around the room and everyone turned to look at the embarrassed waitress who was staring at the ground in disbelief. I turned my attention back to Katy, hoping the moment wasn’t lost.
‘Katy?’
She took a deep breath.
‘Oh, I guess it’s been building for a while. I always thought Alan was okay, we got on really well when I was small, but things changed as I got older and became a teenager. He’s always having a go at me, telling me what I can and can’t do. He just doesn’t stop, always criticising what I wear, the way I have my hair, the friends I hang out with. Mum never takes my side. It’s always about keeping Alan happy.’
‘Perhaps your mum was just trying to keep the peace.’
‘No, I think they’ll both be relieved to have me out of the way.’ She sighed heavily and I wondered, seeing her sadness, if I’d done the right thing in bringing up the subject. We’d had such a lovely time this morning, mooching around the shops, chatting about make-up and clothes. Katy was the happiest I’d seen her and then I had to go and ruin things by bringing up the one subject she was trying to escape from. ‘I think he’s always been jealous of me. Of the relationship me and Mum had. Well, they’ve no need to worry anymore, have they?’
‘Don’t say that,’ I urged. ‘She’s your mum, and she’s going to worry about you. I know you’ve not been getting on with Alan, but that’s perfectly normal. Show me a teenager that hasn’t had huge rows with their dad.’
‘That’s the point though, he isn’t my dad. He’s nothing to me. Mum might want to share her life with him and that’s up to her, but I don’t have to now.’
Katy’s jaw was set firm, the look in her eye telling me firmly not to even try and convince her otherwise.
‘I remember when I was about fifteen,’ I said, eager now to take the conversation in a different direction, ‘I met this guy who I really liked. He was nineteen and was studying at the local college, but he was unlike anyone I’d ever met before. He drove a 400cc motorbike and wore these red and black leathers, and he used to take me round town on the back of his bike. I still remember that feeling of hanging on tight to his waist and feeling the air rush past me as we whizzed around the streets. Of course, I never told my mum and dad because they would never have allowed me to see him. One night he invited me to go to a gig so I told my parents I was staying round a friend’s house, which would have been fine, but dad bless him, decided I would need my medication because I’d been suffering from a cold, so he turned up at my friend’s house. Oh my god! Dad went completely spare when he found out I wa
sn’t there but at a nightclub instead. He waited for me outside the club and when I came out, he didn’t say anything, he just literally dragged me away by the arm. It was so embarrassing. I was grounded for weeks and I never did get to see that guy again.’
‘Oh no!’
‘Yeah. I was devastated at the time.’ I gave a passing thought to that young guy, wondering what he might be up to. ‘Just think we could be married now with three kids. Ha, probably a blessing in disguise though or else I would never have got together with Max.’
Katy smiled. ‘It's funny how life pans out, isn’t it?’ she said, her face betraying a thousand emotions.
‘Yes, and it will work out for you too, Katy. I know it might not seem that way at the moment, but it will, I promise you.’
Katy looked up as she took a bite into her oozing croque monsieur, a long strand of cheese, hanging from her mouth and sticking to her chin. She grinned and wiped it away. We’d both opted for the same thing, served with chips and salad, and it was going down a treat. She took another bite, her warm intelligent eyes, the same intense shade as her brother’s, flickering over me.
‘Thanks for all this,’ she said, ‘it’s been really great.’
‘I’ve really enjoyed it too,’ I said, meaning it, and feeling relief that there wasn’t any awkwardness between us after the conversation about her mum. ‘We’ll have to do it again.’
When we’d finished, I settled the bill and we picked up our belongings and started on the walk back to the car park, laden down with all our carrier bags. We were just leaving the main doors to the centre when I heard someone call out my name.
‘Ellie? Oh, and Katy too. How lovely to see you both.’
I swung round to look, my whole being struck rigid to the spot at the realisation of who was standing in front of me. I felt sure my heart stopped beating too. No, it couldn’t be. Yes, it definitely was. No, she couldn't be… Oh god, it looked as though she definitely was. And if my expression was anything like Katy’s, who was open-mouthed and wide-eyed, then I knew there could be no hiding my complete and utter shock and amazement.
Thirteen
‘Sasha?’ It was Katy who spoke first, which was just as well because I’d been struck completely dumb.
‘Hi, gosh look at you! Haven’t you grown up? Mind you, it must be a couple of years since I last saw you. Max told me you were here for the summer. How lovely! And Ellie? It’s lovely to see you again too.’
She swooped in to kiss me on the cheek and then did the same to Katy, who had managed to close her mouth and was doing a much better job at covering up her surprise than I was. I’d dropped my bags to the floor and had adopted the expression of a startled goldfish. With supreme effort, I managed to rearrange my facial features into something approaching normal and smiled.
‘Well, it looks like you two have been having fun?’ she said, eyeing up our bags.
‘Oh yes, just a little retail therapy,’ I stuttered.
‘Me too,’ she said holding out a solitary bag. And then I saw the logo which only confirmed to me what had been staring me right in the face these last few minutes. I looked at Sasha and then back at the bag. When was it I’d last seen her properly. That was it, Christmas Eve…
Max and I had just come from a busy evening in the pub when the whole community had been celebrating the fact that The Dog and Duck would be remaining open. We’d walked arm-in-arm to the church to join in the midnight mass service, and with the snow falling on our faces, I could remember how happy and joyous I’d felt. When we reached the lychgate I’d spotted Sasha, looking glamorous as ever, emerging from a car. I’d thought it strange at the time that she was back in the village, but I hadn’t dwelt on it, my mind was full of so many other happy events at the time. I can remember thinking how happy Sasha looked too. Happy and radiant and blossoming and… Now, I just about managed to find my voice.
‘You’re…?’
‘Pregnant?’ asked Katy, filling in the blank and failing spectacularly to keep the surprise from her voice. Katy and I looked to each other for guidance, as though one of us might come up with an explanation that would confirm Sasha wasn’t pregnant at all, just that she had a huge cushion stuffed up her jumper.
Sasha laughed, brushing her chestnut coloured hair away from her face. Her skin was clear and glowing. Her eyes bright. She reminded me of an advertisement for vitamin supplements. I could just imagine her running through a meadow, her hair flying behind her.
‘Yes!’ Sasha paused, her face clouding as she noticed our reactions. ‘You must have known?’
We both shook our heads, slightly manically. No this little snippet of information must have passed us by. Even when I’d seen her the other day in her car in the High Street, I could never have imagined what she’d been hiding beneath that steering wheel.
‘Oh I would have thought Max would have told you.’ Me too, I thought sadly. ‘Typical man, huh?’ She chuckled. ‘You do know I’ve moved back into the village though?’
‘Oh yes,’ I said, desperately trying to recover a bit of ground. Think. Head. Straight. Thankfully Sasha was only too willing to fill me in on all the details.
‘Yes, Max has been a complete rock. I don’t know what I would have done without him these last couple of weeks. He really has come to my rescue. Obviously this wasn’t planned at all.’ She cradled her arms around her bump, a dreamy expression on her face. ‘It was such a huge shock when I first found out, and to be honest with you, I was in a bad place for a while, but I’ve got my head around it now and being back in Little Leyton feels like a new start. London is no place to bring up a baby, so it made sense to come back here.’
Did it? None of this was making any sense to me at the moment. All I could thing about was why Max hasn’t said anything to me and why he was even involved in the first place.
‘Do you have family in this area then?’ I managed.
‘No, I barely know anyone around here, apart from Max, and you, of course, and a couple of others… But Little Leyton has always struck me as a really friendly place and I’d love to become a part of the community here. It’s where I want to make our home and the cottage is such a beautiful space.’
Of all the beautiful villages in the country and she had to choose this one.
Katy flashed me a look, which I didn’t want to acknowledge.
‘It sounds great. And you look really well,’ I said, relocating my manners from somewhere. ‘Doesn’t she look well?’ I elbowed Katy in the ribs.
‘Yeah.’
Funny how Katy was singing Sasha’s praises only a short while ago. Now, with a distrustful expression on her face, there wasn’t much evidence of that love.
‘Well, we should be getting on,’ I told Sasha. My head was spinning, I really needed to sit down again. Maybe if we just got away, things would become clearer in my head. It would all make absolute sense just as soon as we got down the road. Or not. ‘No doubt we’ll bump into you again soon then.’ Oh no, I had bumps on the brain now.
‘Yes, I expect so. I’m definitely going to have to pop in the pub soon. Max tells me you’re doing a grand job there, Ellie.’
‘Oh yes, drop in anytime,’ I said, really hoping she wouldn't take me up on that offer. ‘Anyway, must dash, so nice to see you again Sasha.’ I smiled and waved, desperate to get away. Katy followed me, muttering something in my ear, but I wasn’t hearing her. How come Max had filled Sasha in on me and the pub, but had failed to tell me about the small matter of Sasha being pregnant? Anger fizzled up within me. My hand reached up to my neck, a heat throbbing beneath my skin. Didn’t I deserve to know that his ex-girlfriend was back on the scene, very much pregnant and intending on making her home just a stone’s throw away from my boyfriend?
It was only when we were back at the car and we’d loaded all our bags in the boot and climbed into our seats that I tuned back in to what Katy was saying.
‘Crikey!’
‘Did you really not know?’
; ‘We didn’t ask her when the baby was due. Although she looks quite far gone. Must be any day now.’
‘How long do you think Max has known?’
‘Why didn’t Max mention it?’
Katy’s questions came out in a chaotic tumble, putting all my thoughts into words. I don’t think she was really expecting sensible answers, which was just as well because I had no answers to give her. Just questions of my own. So many questions.
Everything had been going perfectly. I’d been so happy looking forward to my first summer at the pub, spending time with Max in the beer garden and at his beautiful house, walking the dogs, long lazy days enjoying the sunshine, preparing for the summer fair. Then seeing Sasha like that, so suddenly and unexpectedly, so obviously with child, had shaken me to the core. My gaze drifted across to Katy, I wasn’t the only one. I could sense the disbelief radiating from her beside me.
Somehow I managed to gather myself enough to start the car and begin on the journey home. We were both lost in our own thoughts, until Katy couldn’t contain herself any longer, blurting out the one thing that had clearly been at the forefront of both our minds ever since we’d run into Sasha.
‘Do you think it’s Max’s baby?’
‘What? NO!’ I think I may have shouted. I certainly turned and glared at Katy for her audacity at mentioning the unmentionable.
‘Ellie, keep your eyes on the road,’ she admonished me.
I grabbed the steering wheel tighter feeling a knot of fear deep in my stomach.
‘How can you be sure?’ she continued.
‘What?’
‘How can you know it’s not Max’s baby?’
‘Because… well because it wouldn’t be possible.’ My heart was flapping away in my chest about to explode. ‘Besides, Max would have told me,’ I said, sounding a lot more confident than I felt.
‘You think?’ she said, damning her brother in that split second. ‘When did he and Sasha split up?’
We pulled to a stop at a junction, the traffic streaming past me in a blur in both directions. I really needed to concentrate.
Summer at the Dog & Duck Page 11