‘Well do it soon. You have a right to know what’s going on. It’s not fair on you to be kept in the dark when it affects your life. He is your boyfriend after all.’
That was true, but we’d been going out for less than six months. He and Sasha had over five years in the bank. We didn’t even live together. He was occupied by work and I was immersed in the running of the pub. Our relationship was important to both of us, but it hadn’t been our main priority. And now it seemed it might never be. Max might have more important things to worry about now.
‘God it’s all such a mess. I know I’ll have to talk to him, but I’m frightened. I just have this feeling, Josie, that I’m going to lose him.’
‘You can’t know that. Not until you talk to him. Do it soon. Do it now. Go and find him, have it out with him?’
‘No,’ I shook my head vigorously. ‘I can’t!’
Normally I didn’t stop to think. Normally, I’d go straight ahead and act. Not this time. Something was stopping me from getting in the car and racing round to the manor, knowing that once we’d had that conversation it was likely to change our lives forever. I really wasn’t sure I was ready for that yet.
‘Let’s not talk about it now,’ I said. ‘Let’s just enjoy the sunshine today.’ Although that would be easier said than done when my head was full of thoughts of Max, Sasha and an image of their beautiful little baby.
*
Much later, back at Josie’s, I fed Stella her tea, a bright orange concoction of sweet potato and carrot that was gobbled up enthusiastically, and then spent a fun time playing with her wooden farm set on the floor, before I happily volunteered to do the bath and bed routine.
‘Oh, you should come round every evening,’ said Josie, still slumped on the sofa as I carried Stella up the stairs. ‘I could get used to this.’
It was no hardship for me. I loved spending time with my goddaughter, even if it was far less often than I would have liked.
With the same red hair as her mum and bright blue eyes, her little face lit up as we sang songs in the bathroom and later when I placed her in the cot, her little eyelashes fluttered closed as I read a bedtime story. Before Stella came into our lives I hadn’t felt in the least bit broody – babies had never featured in any of my plans – but her arrival had stirred all sorts of emotions within me. Love and longing and pride, and she wasn’t even mine! Now as I stroked her fine hair over her head, I knew the special bond I had with my best friend’s daughter was one that would last us a lifetime. A baby was life-changing in so many ways, a change I could now imagine and hope for myself one day. With Stella drifting off to sleep, I pottered around her bedroom, folding up her clothes, enjoying the moment of peace and quiet.
I bent down and planted a kiss on Stella’s head, inhaling her delicious scent. Creeping out of the bedroom, giving one last glance to the now sleeping Stella, my heart swelling at the sight of her tucked up beneath the covers, I made my way back downstairs to find Polly had arrived and was chatting with Josie in the kitchen. Thank goodness for the wonderful women in my life, young and old. They were always there to support me and I was determined not to let whatever was going on with Max spoil my time tonight with my friends. That could wait until tomorrow.
‘Hi Ellie,’ said Polly, turning to greet me, and pulling me in towards her with a hug. ‘How’s things?’
‘Well…’ Best get it over and done with as quickly as possible. I gave her a very rapid-fire run-down of recent events, her mouth dropping open in amazement as I mentioned the pertinent facts.
Sasha, Max’s Ex.
Pregnant.
Baby.
When I finished recounting the sorry tale, Polly yelped. ‘Noooo! And is it Max’s baby?’
The case against Max was growing by the hour.
‘I don’t know and I really don’t want to think about it now. It’s been tying me up in knots all day. I’ll have to see him tomorrow. Talk to him. I’m not looking forward to it one bit but at least then I’ll know for sure one way or the other.’
Both girls pulled a sympathetic face, before Polly said, ‘You don’t know. We’re jumping to conclusions. It’s just as likely to be someone else’s baby as it is Max’s.’
Now it was my turn to look doubtful.
‘Anyway, enough about my sorry love life,’ I said, desperate to get off the subject. We had moved outside into Josie’s small garden and were sitting on the patio, the sweet smell of the blossoming honeysuckle wafting in the air. It was cooler now and I’d wrapped my cardigan around my shoulders. ‘You’ll never guess what I found out today?’
‘There’s something else?’ said Polly, looking alarmed.
‘Yeah, but this isn’t bad. This is a bit of juicy gossip. You know that guy who comes in to the pub? The good-looking one who we thought might be from the pub guide?’
‘George, you mean?’
‘Yes, you’ll never believe who he is.’ Both Polly and Josie nodded blankly. ‘He’s actually GG Williamson, the writer. I had no idea, Katy was the one to tell me. She’s a real fan of his work and recognised him in the pub. Apparently he came to the village to finish off his next book, although I don’t think we’re supposed to know that, so keep it under your hats. He’s trying to keep a low profile.’
‘Really! I thought there was something familiar about him, but I would never have guessed,’ said Josie.
‘I don’t know about familiar, I just think he’s really lovely-looking. He’s got nice brown eyes,’ said Polly, her thoughts clearly taking her off to some faraway place. ‘And he’s very charming too. And a best-selling writer, you say? Hmmm, I wonder if we can convince him to stay? Little Leyton is in desperate need of some eligible men about the place.’
I laughed. ‘I’m not sure about that, but Katy suggested we ask him if he would open the summer fete celebrations for us. It would be a bit of a coup. And would certainly add an extra element to the day.’
‘Well if you need my help in persuading him,’ said Polly, her throaty chuckle ringing out, ‘then just let me know. I’m always willing to do my bit for the village and, to be honest, I could do with the distraction.’
‘Oh?’
‘Just Johnny,’ she said sighing, her shoulders slumping. ‘He texted me again. As bold as you like.’ She pulled out her phone and read the message aloud:
‘Hi Polly, how are you? Been thinking about you a lot recently, wondering how you’re doing. Coming home soon. Maybe we can catch up?’
‘Aw, it definitely sounds as though he’s missing you, Polly,’ said Josie.
‘What? He has no right to miss me! And there’s no apology. No, “sorry I broke your heart and disappeared into the sunset without a word.” Nothing like that. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t let him back in the village. I still don’t know what went so wrong between us. I thought we had something special together, it felt so exciting being with him and everything seemed full of possibilities. And then out of nowhere he decides he has to get as far away from me as possible. Was I really that awful to send him packing to the other side of the world?’
‘You weren’t awful at all, Polly. It was just Johnny being an arse,’ I offered.
‘Definitely. A prize arse,’ said Josie, agreeing with me wholeheartedly.
‘I suppose you’re right. I just don’t know how I’m going to cope with him being back on the scene.’
‘You’ll be fine, Polly. Do all your crying with us in private. And then when he shows up, put on a brave face and show him just what he’s been missing all these months.’
‘Yeah,’ she said, nodding. ‘You missed your chance, Johnny Tay!’
‘What is it with the men in our lives, Polly?’ I asked.
‘I’ve got an idea,’ she said, excitedly. ‘You know that Grand Tour we talked about for our retirement. Any chance we could bring it forward by about thirty years and go this weekend instead?’
We laughed and raised our glasses to that. If Max was going to start playing happy families
with Sasha in the village, then getting as far away as possible from Little Leyton might just turn out to be the best idea ever.
Seventeen
A couple of hours later, we said our goodbyes to Josie, and Polly and I made the short walk back to the pub.
‘Think I’ll come in,’ she said, when we reached the front door. ‘I don’t fancy going home yet.’ She linked her arm through mine, leaning into my side and led the way in, quickly disentangling herself when she spotted George Williamson sitting in his usual spot at the front window.
‘Ooh look,’ she whispered, a gleeful tone to her voice. ‘There’s our very favourite author. I won’t be long,’ she told me, going off to join him. I smiled to myself and slipped behind the bar to chat to Dan and Andy.
‘Have you seen Max?’ It was the first thing Dan said to me.
‘No,’ I said, squashing down the sense of alarm his name caused me. I really hoped the Little Leyton grapevine hadn’t been working overtime. Did everyone already know the news that I was waiting to have confirmed?
‘It’s just that he’s been in a couple of times looking for you. He went off to find you. Seemed as though it was quite important. He’s just rung again actually to see if you were back.’
‘Oh, my phone’s been playing up,’ I said by way of explanation. It was only a little white lie. I’d deliberately turned it off, not wanting to be a slave to it all day long, jumping every time it beeped, thinking it might be Max. Today I'd been trying to forget about the whole matter, although without much success admittedly. ‘Do me a favour though. If he calls again can you tell him I’m not home. I’m very tired and I’m sure whatever it is can wait until tomorrow.’
I saw the flicker of surprise cross Dan’s face. ‘Sure thing.’
In the back bar a group of regulars had gathered and Arthur, one of my favourites, beckoned me over. He’d been a good pal to Noel, Max’s grandfather, and the pair of them were always found together sat beside the inglenook fireplace having a chat and a chuckle.
‘Hello lovely, how are you?’ he asked. ‘Come and sit with me awhile.’ He patted the empty seat beside him. ‘What are you having to drink?’
‘No, you have one with me on the house, Arthur.’ I called Andy over and asked for a pint of the special ale for Arthur and a long cool glass of elderflower cordial for me. A few days off the booze and I would be back feeling renewed and invigorated. An occupational hazard of the job, drinking too much. I could always tell when I needed to rein it in a little. I would start to feel sluggish and out of sorts, just as I had been these last few days.
‘You’re not looking your usual bright-eyed self,’ said Arthur fondly, peering into my face. ‘You're not working too hard, are you, love?’
‘No more than usual,’ I said with a smile.
There was a nice warm vibe in the back bar this evening. People huddled together in conversation, the sound of laughter reaching up to the eaves. Those who’d been sitting in the garden had drifted indoors now that the air was that much cooler. A crowd had gathered around Owen Jennings, a local tree surgeon, who had brought his guitar in and was sat on a stool, strumming a few chords, the mellifluous sounds wafting around us in a warm inviting glow. Some people swayed to the gentle notes, others tapped their feet, the music soothing our souls.
‘You know, I for one, am very grateful to you for keeping the Dog and Duck just as it has always been,’ said Arthur, tapping me on the knee. ‘Eric did a grand job, but you’ve brought something new to the pub, something fresh and special. You’ve given the place, and all of us, a new lease of life.’
‘Aw, Arthur, that’s such a lovely thing for you to say.’ I leant into his side. ‘I’ve had a few moments when I’ve wondered if I’m doing things the right way.’
‘No, you’re doing a brilliant job, love. Look at the crowd in here tonight. They’re all having a great time. When you think how many communities have lost their village pub. We’re lucky that ours is still thriving and that’s all down to you, sweetheart.’
He laid his arm around my shoulder, and I rested my head there. For a moment I closed my eyes, lost in my thoughts, the music washing over me. Owen started singing, his hoarse soulful voice resounding with emotion and honesty. My eyes flickered open again and my gaze travelled around the room alighting on each of my customers. I knew every one of them by name, where they lived and who were the important people in their lives. Arthur telling me what a good job I was doing made me swell with pride. If my regulars were happy then that was all that mattered.
Digby came and joined us, slumping down at my feet. He’d been on walkabouts around the pub, mooching around the tables in search of a crumb of affection or a crumb of anything else. He was such a chancer, that dog. I leant down, running my hand across his soft warm fur.
Now, Owen’s seductive voice warbled out a familiar folk song and we all joined in, swaying in time to the music. It had been a long time since we’d had a good old sing-song in the pub. In Eric’s day they’d been quite a regular occurrence. Impromptu get-togethers, where someone would start humming a tune, and someone else would join in, tapping their hands on the table or whistling in harmony, until the whole of the pub would be singing along. Joyous, life-affirming occasions that made you thankful for all the good things in your life. Right now, with everyone singing their hearts out, I was grateful to be here among my customers and friends.
Just then Dan popped his head across the bar holding the phone up to me and mouthed, ‘Max?’
I shook my head. Why spoil the moment? Tonight I just wanted to live for the here and now, without a care or thought to the future. That, I knew, I’d have to face all too soon.
Our singing session went on late into the night. I didn’t really see Polly again, apart from when she popped her head around the door to give me a wave goodbye, telling me she’d catch up with me tomorrow. I gave a thought to George and smiled, hoping he hadn’t minded being monopolised by Polly when I suspected all he’d wanted was a quiet drink.
With Dan and Andy’s help we’d just seen off the last of our customers, with a lot of hugs and back-slapping, and a promise that we would have to do it all again very soon. Andy was giving a final wipe down of the tables, Dan emerged from the cellar and I was just straightening some chairs, when the front door was flung open and we all stopped what we were doing and turned to see who it might be. A punter returning to collect their belongings? Dan’s girlfriend Silke perhaps? Someone trying it on, in the hope they might get a cheeky nightcap?
‘Max?’ I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice, even if he was beginning to make a habit of late-night visits to the pub.
‘Ellie.’ His mood always preceded him. Tonight his body held rigid, the set of his jaw and the coldness in his eyes told me he wasn’t in the sunniest of moods. Oh…This was just what I needed.
‘Have you been avoiding me?’ he asked.
Andy discreetly moved out of the way, grabbed his jacket and quickly left. Dan, ignoring the laser death stare radiating from Max, came to my side and asked if I wanted him to stay.
‘No, you get off, Dan. Everything’s fine here,’ I said brightly, following him to the main door, seeing him out and locking up after him. My stomach churned with anxiety, in anticipation of what was about to come. Taking a deep breath, I turned to face Max, who was still appraising me intently. He shook his head as though not even remotely interested in my answer.
‘Have you seen Katy?’
‘What?’ His question took me completely by surprise. ‘What do you mean? Is she not at the house?’
‘Nope. She went out a few hours ago. I’ve been texting and calling her, but she’s not picking up. When you weren’t taking my calls either I thought perhaps you were together.’
‘No, I’ve not seen her since this morning. She popped in with the dogs for some breakfast. She seemed perfectly fine then.’
Max let out an audible sigh. ‘I assumed she was with you. It’s me she has the problem with. God, I coul
dn’t have handled this any worse if I’d tried. When she came home from that shopping trip I confronted her about her drinking and she just went completely ballistic at me, saying how I wasn’t in a position to judge her. She was totally wound up and then just turned everything back on me.’
My gaze drifted out of the mullioned windows onto the High Street. It was gone midnight and it looked especially dark out there tonight. I’d always felt totally safe and protected in the village, but the thought of Katy being out there alone, upset and emotional, made me nervous.
‘I don’t know where she could be,’ Max went on, the concern in his voice evident. ‘I’ve tried everywhere she might go but I can’t find her. And she’s still not answering her phone.’
Guilt washed over me. Max had tried to contact me to find out if I’d seen Katy and I’d stubbornly ignored his calls. What if something had happened to Katy? ‘I’m sure she’s fine, she probably just needed some time out and will already be back at the manor.’ I hoped I was right.
‘I’ll have a drive around the village and see if I can spot her and then I’ll get back to the house.’
‘Do you want me to come and look for her with you?’
‘Thanks, but no. Probably best if you stay here just in case she does turn up.’ He glanced at his watch and sighed.
He came across to me, something indefinable in his eyes. I half expected him to pull me into his embrace as he had done so many times before, only he didn’t. He held himself back as though an invisible boundary existed between us. I wanted my old Max back. The one who would welcome me into his arms, to rest my head against his chest, for him to tell me everything would be okay, but with Katy missing in the dead of the night, we couldn't know that for sure.
A shiver of fear ran down my body. All thoughts of Max and Sasha, our disagreements, vanished from my mind. Max could have triplets with Angelina Jolie, for all I cared, if it only meant Katy would come home safely now.
Summer at the Dog & Duck Page 15