He wiped the back of his hand against his brow, and shook out his hand. I smiled, relieved that he was telling me everything I’d wanted to hear.
‘You didn’t relish the idea of becoming a daddy then?’ I joshed, relieved that the tension had lifted and I could speak openly again, with no fear of any of this being true.
‘I can barely look after my teenage sister, can you imagine what I’d be like with a baby? I’d probably drop it, or forget to feed it. I’d definitely make it cry. I seem to have developed quite a knack for doing that, at least with Katy.’
I laughed. Funny thing was, I’d given a lot of consideration to what sort of father Max would make these last couple of days. Fierce, passionate and demanding, I suspected, but intensely loving and kind too.
I returned to my seat at the kitchen table. It felt so good to have cleared the air, to be able to talk easily again, finally back on track. ‘So, dare I ask, how is Katy today?’
‘No idea. She hasn’t surfaced yet.’ He shook his head ruefully. ‘Well, you know, she got in at god knows what time last night. Turned up on the back of a motorbike.’
‘Oh good grief…’ No wonder she’d been so insistent that I didn’t collect her. She’d obviously made other more exciting travel plans.
‘Yep. She came in the house and ran straight upstairs, slamming her door shut. I told her to come back down, that I needed to talk to her, but she wasn’t listening to me. Honestly, Ellie, I really don’t know how to get through to that girl.’
‘Do you want me to talk to her?’
‘No, I’ll have another try. I’m wondering though if this is the right place for her. Mum is quite insistent now that she goes home and completes the last couple of weeks at school, and I tend to agree with her. I’m not sure she’s gaining anything from being here. I think she needs to go back to Spain.’
In some ways, I had a lot of sympathy for Katy even when she was being stroppy and contrary. She’d fallen out with her parents, had come to a village where she didn’t know anyone apart from her brother who, as I knew from personal experience, wasn’t always the easiest person in the world to talk to, and had no idea what she was going to do next in her life. Being a teenage girl sucked at times. The extremes of emotion, one minute feeling on top of the world, the next in the depths of despair. So many worries that took up all your time: boys, friends, how you looked, were you funny and interesting enough, were you good enough?
Max was the sort of man who worked on logic, reason and practicality. He could have no idea or understanding what his little sister was going through.
‘Hmm, Katy’s not going to like that idea one little bit.’
Nineteen
‘What am I not going to like?’
Katy appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, looking shiftily at Max and then smiling at me. Wearing short pyjamas in green and with her elfin-cut hairstyle and the smattering of freckles over her nose she looked like a very fetching Peter Pan.
‘What time did you get home last night?’ Max asked, immediately getting up from the table. You know, I sometimes wished Max would take a moment to think before coming straight out with whatever was on his mind. He shared that trait with his sister. Up against each other it was hard to call who would come off best.
Katy padded over to the fridge and pulled out the carton of orange juice and carefully poured herself a glass, studiously avoiding Max’s question. She turned to me. ‘How are you Ellie?’
‘Good thanks.’ The atmosphere was so charged that even the dogs slunk out into the utility room. I wished I could follow them, but instead wittered on cheerfully in the hope that I could build some bridges between this stubborn pair. ‘Oh, did I mention, Max,’ I said, blithely, ‘the other day when we went shopping we must have visited every possible shop in the arcade and finally when I was giving up hope that I would ever find anything to suit me, Katy picked out the most beautiful dress for me. It was something I would never have chosen for myself, but do you know it fitted and suits me perfectly. I was so pleased and just can’t wait to wear it at the ball.’
Max gave me a cursory glance, clearly not in the least bit interested in what I’d been telling him. ‘Katy, I asked you a question,’ he said, instead.
‘What? Oh, I don’t know,’ she said, airily, still carefully avoiding his eye. ‘I’ve forgotten now.’
‘Well, I’ll tell you, shall I? It was gone one o’clock.’
‘Right, so why are you asking me then if you already know the answer?’ Katy asked, quick as a flash.
‘Because it’s not acceptable, Katy. If you’re living under my roof then you need to abide by my rules. I had no idea where you were or who you were with. You could have been lying dead in a ditch somewhere for all I knew.’
I cringed, realising I was very much in the way and wanting to be anywhere but here right now. Best leave these two alone to sort out their differences. ‘Look, I should go,’ I said decisively.
‘No, don’t!’ Both Katy and Max said it at the same time, halting my imminent departure and I sat straight back down again.
Max turned to address Katy. ‘And who brought you home? On a motorbike, Katy? Really?’ He shook his head, dismayed. ‘Do you know how dangerous those things are?’
‘Oh, that was Ryan. From the band. He’s lovely and…’ Katy clocked Max’s expression, ‘…and a very safe rider too.’
‘I can vouch for Ryan. I’ve known him for years. He’s a lovely lad and…’
I guessed from Max’s withering glance that he didn't appreciate my glowing character reference. Best not to mention Ryan’s bad-boy past then, although I was pretty sure that was all behind him now.
‘I don’t want you seeing him, Katy. He’s obviously not a good influence if he’s happy for a seventeen-year-old to stay out until the early hours of the morning. And you’re certainly not to go on his motorbike again.’
‘You can’t tell me what to do.’ She span round, throwing her hands in the air. ‘You’re always having a go at me. It’s like being back in Spain.’
‘Well, Katy, if I’m being honest with you, I think that’s where you should be. Whatever problems you have with Mum they’re not going to be sorted out if you’re here. It’s just making matters worse.’
Katy was staring at me imploringly, but I couldn’t hold her gaze. This had nothing to do with me; it was something they had to sort out between themselves.
Max went on, his voice low and steely now. ‘Why don’t you go back to Spain, sort things out with Mum, and then you’ll be in better position to move on in your life.’
‘No! I know you just want me out of your way but you can’t make me go. I’ll run away and never come back.’ Katy’s deep brown eyes flared angrily, colour staining her cheeks, her small stature held tall and proud. Her chin jutted out defiantly and her gaze didn’t leave Max’s face. Only a fool would choose not to believe every word she was saying. ‘Ellie, tell him.’ Katy actually stamped her foot on the stone floor in frustration. ‘He’s being unreasonable, isn’t he?’
I looked from Max to Ellie, seeing two siblings, both as stubborn and pig-headed as each other. Neither one of them about to back down. Max held all the power and Katy’s exasperation filled every corner of the kitchen.
‘Max does have a point,’ I said, gently, choosing my words carefully so as not to inflame a tense situation even further. ‘He’s only saying these things because he worries about you and wants what's best for you.’
‘What? Sending me back to Spain? More like what's best for him.’
Max let out an exasperated sigh.
‘Well, I’m sure you can work something out between the pair of you. If you just sit down and talk about it. But all the time you're here, Katy, I do think you need to consider a bit more the consequence of your actions. Keep Max informed so he knows where you are and what you’re doing and what time he can expect you home again. Max doesn’t want to cramp your style, he just wants to make sure you’re okay. That’s all it is
.’
Max shrugged noncommittally, although I took that as his agreement to what I was saying.
‘Ugh. It’s not fair. I have to tell everyone what I’m doing, and yet it’s okay for everyone else to have secrets. Do you know how that feels? It’s horrible, really horrible to be kept in the dark all the time.’ I glanced across at Katy, but she’d dropped her gaze to the floor, avoiding eye contact. I had the distinct impression we’d been talking about one thing but suddenly the conversation had taken a turn, and now, well who knew what this was all about. Then, she came straight out with it. ‘Did you ask him about Sasha?’
‘What?’ This from Max.
‘Sasha. Did you ask him about her, and the baby?’
Max didn’t give me chance to respond. ‘Oh for Christ’s sake, Katy! What is your problem exactly? Why are you wanting to stir trouble up all the time? Sasha’s my ex-girlfriend and she’s pregnant. So what? And what the hell has it got to do with you anyway?’
‘Yes, she was your girlfriend, and now she’s pregnant and living in one of your houses down the road. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what’s going on, Max!’
My mouth opened involuntarily in complete and utter surprise at the venom dripping from Katy’s words.
‘Doesn’t it?’ said Max, sarcastically. ‘Well forgive me, but you’ll have to explain to this particular idiot,’ he said, pointing to his chest, ‘because I haven’t got a clue.’
‘Every child has the right to know who its real father is. It’s really important.’
‘Honestly, Katy, I think you’ve got hold of the wrong end of the stick,’ I said, trying to find a way to reconnect these two. ‘Max has explained. It isn’t his baby. Sasha just asked if Max could help her out by providing her with a house to live in.’
‘Oh god, Ellie. And you really believe that? Can’t you see? It’s all an elaborate charade to cover up what’s really going on? Why else would she be living next door to Max? It’s so that he can see the baby, his baby. He’s not being honest with you, Ellie.’
‘Get out!’ Max pointed to the door in a dramatic movement. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed, a thunderous expression across his features. ‘I’m not listening to this. Just get out, will you?’
‘No,’ I protested, chastising Max with a disapproving look. ‘Oh, Katy.’ I stood up, and grabbed her to my side, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. She was hurting, doing her best not to give into the tears gathering in her eyes. ‘This is all just a terrible misunderstanding. Max is telling the truth. Sasha’s having another man’s baby. Really. Max isn’t lying.’
Was I in some way to blame? Had I completely overreacted the other day and Katy had picked up on my insecurities? As soon as Max had sat me down and explained the situation with Sasha then I’d known with a hundred per cent certainty that he was telling the truth and I’d had to wonder why I’d ever doubted him in the first place. But I was puzzled as to why Katy was so agitated over the whole matter.
‘Tell us, Katy, what is this really all about?’ I still had hold of her and could feel the nervous energy radiating from her. ‘This isn’t about, Sasha, is it?’ I said, sensing a very distinct wobble in her bearing. ‘What is it that’s troubling you, lovely? You can talk to us about it, you know? You don’t have to keep everything bottled up.’
That did it. Katy’s chin wavered, her bottom lip wobbled and then the tears that she’d been valiantly hanging onto tumbled down her cheeks.
‘Oh Katy,’ I said, pulling her to my chest and wrapping my arms tightly around her. ‘I hate to see you so upset. What’s the matter, why don’t you tell us?’
Max was looking increasingly more uncomfortable by the moment.
‘It’s… just… the… the…’ It was hard to make out Katy’s words through the sobbing, but I heard the word baby and her distress was evident.
She turned away and plonked herself down at the kitchen table.
I looked across at Max who’d raised his eyebrows in concern, about to say something, before thinking better of it. We were both thinking along the same lines obviously.
‘Oh, you’re not pregnant, are you?’ I said, unable to stop myself. I saw Max brace himself as though he didn’t want to hear the answer to that question.
‘Nooo!’ she said, crossly, through her tears. I dashed across to the other side of the kitchen, pulling off some kitchen roll from the holder and handed it to her. The look I exchanged with Max was one that said we were both very relieved about that. She blew her nose noisily into the tissue and sank her head into her hands.
‘Come on, Katy.’ I sat down beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder again. The sobbing had subsided a little, but she was still gulping for air. She was on the brink of telling me. I didn’t want to lose the moment. For her to close up and to retreat back inside her prickly shell. ‘Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad, can it?’
She nodded, as though it was.
I squeezed her hand, urging her on, willing her to confide in me.
‘It’s just when I heard about Sasha, I thought …’ she shrugged, uncertain of how to go on. ‘I thought … about the baby.’ She shook her head as though she could barely make sense of her own thoughts. ‘That little baby. Coming into the big scary world. Would it grow up with its proper dad in a real and loving home? Or would it be shunted around, never really feeling wanted, as though it never really belonged to anyone.’
‘What on earth do you mean, Katy?’ Max asked.
She shrugged again and I could sense the barriers coming back up.
‘Come on,’ I said gently, giving her hand a little shake. I was prepared to sit there all day, if necessary, until Katy felt comfortable enough to tell us what was troubling her.
‘People are selfish. They do things because it’s right for them. But they don’t think about the consequences. They never think about the child in these circumstances.’
‘You're not making any sense, Katy,’ said Max, his puzzlement plain to see. ‘What on earth are you going on about?’
‘I know, Max. You don’t have to pretend anymore. I know the truth about our family. Alan’s told me everything.’
Twenty
‘What? What on earth do you mean?’
Max was looking at his sister fiercely and I had the distinct impression I’d walked into the middle of a soap opera that I had no right to play a part in. Too late now to slip out the back door and pretend I hadn’t heard any of this. Katy was crying again, Max was pacing up and down the kitchen and I was sat awkwardly in the middle of it all, wishing I could wave a magic wand and make everything better.
‘Do you want me to go? I think this is something you two need to discuss alone.’
‘No!’ Still Katy and Max were insistent that I stay. Whether I liked it or not, I’d been sucked into this drama, and I wanted to support them both the best way I could. ‘Let me make some more coffee then,’ I said, jumping up, desperate now for something practical to do.
As I spooned coffee into mugs and went across to the fridge for the milk, I saw that Max had taken my place next to Katy at the table, and had taken hold of her hand. The concern in his expression melted my heart.
‘Tell me, what did Alan say exactly?’
She looked up at him, all big brown eyes appraising him carefully, wondering if she could trust him enough to open up her heart. ‘We had a row. A big, big row. He told me that I couldn’t go to a party. I’d been looking forward to that party for weeks. Everyone was going. All my friends. Everyone from school. How would it have looked if I’d had to tell my friends that I couldn’t go, that my parents wouldn’t let me? It would have been totally humiliating. Alan came down all heavy on me and said that there was no way I was going, that I needed to learn some respect.’ Max looked across at me, smiling wryly at the recognisable scenario, no doubt.
I wandered across and put their coffees on the table, and then busied myself at the sink, wishing I could just blend into the background.
&nbs
p; ‘Okay, and then what?’ Max asked.
‘Well, I told him. I said he couldn’t tell me what to do because he wasn’t even my father. And that if Dad was still around then he would have let me go to the party.’
‘Oh dear,’ said Max gravely. ‘I can see why that might have upset Alan.’
‘Yeah, well, he flew off the handle and said that I’d never shown him any respect at all. And he went on and on and on about how much he’d done for me over the years, and how I’d just thrown it all back in his face. That he’d tried to treat me like his own child, but all I’d given him was abuse. And then it came out. Suddenly. Out of nowhere. Alan told me Dad, or the man I thought was my dad, wasn’t my real dad after all.’
Katy’s words fell out in an emotional tumble, but she wasn’t crying now. Her tears had dried and there was an urgency to her words. As though she needed to set the record straight, to get her side of the story out there. I span around to look at her, to check that I hadn’t misheard, but I could see immediately that everything she was telling us was true.
‘Oh Katy,’ I said, my heart bleeding for her as Max drew her closer to his side, trying to comfort her as best he could. ‘That must have been awful. Such a terrible shock.’
‘It was. I couldn’t believe it. I know I was only little when dad died but he was the only dad I’d ever known. All those photos and memories. I had no reason to think he wasn’t my real dad. Mum used to say I was daddy’s little girl. After he died, I used to fall asleep thinking about him, crying into my pillow trying to conjure up his face. Sometimes I could manage it and I could see him as clearly as if he was standing in my bedroom and other times I couldn’t do it at all. And that used to make me sad. And now I find out he wasn’t really my father at all.’
‘Oh, Katy.’ Max kissed her lightly on the forehead, her hurt reflected in his own eyes.
‘You knew, didn’t you Max?’
‘No! I promise you, this is the first I’ve heard about it. I never knew anything.’ Max sighed. ‘You have talked to Mum? What did she say?’
Summer at the Dog & Duck Page 17