“Stop worrying about me, Gage,” she said again. She got up and moved around the table, setting her hand on his sleeve, feeling the solid warmth of muscle beneath the blue chambray.
Solid. That’s the one word she most associated with Gage Walker. Rock solid. God knows, she’d needed that solidity. She’d been drowning before he came, drowning in grief and fear. And he’d given her something solid to hold on to. He’d shared her grief and bullied her out of her fear and convinced her—almost—that life was going to continue. Not life as she’d known it, but life nevertheless. He’d not only held her when she cried, he’d made her laugh, something she’d half believed she’d never do again. He’d rearranged her house, played with her son and made her look ahead rather than back.
“I’m going to miss you,” she admitted, tilting her head back to look up at him.
“I bet.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “I’ve harassed you for two solid weeks. I’m surprised you didn’t throw me out a long time ago.”
“I considered it a time or two,” she admitted. “But Danny likes you.”
“The kid’s got great taste.”
“He’s going to miss you,” Kelsey said, her smile fading as she considered how much her small son had lost recently.
“I’ll be back,” Gage said.
“I know.” But a month could seem like a century when you were two. She saw the concern in Gage’s eyes and smiled again. She didn’t want him worrying about them any more than he already was. “I’ll just have time to repair some of the damage you’ve done spoiling him,” she said lightly.
Gage smiled. “It’s my duty as his godfather to spoil him.” His smile faded, and the intensity was back in his eyes. “There’s something I need to ask you before I go. I’ve been trying to find a tactful way to ask it and I haven’t, so I guess I’ll just spit it out.”
“What?” The look Kelsey gave him held a touch of alarm. He looked so serious.
“Are you doing okay for money?”
The question sounded just as blunt and intrusive as he’d thought it would. Kelsey flushed and seemed to draw into herself in some subtle way.
“I know you want to tell me it’s none of my business,” he continued before she had a chance to speak. “And ordinarily I’d agree with you and I’d throw me out on my ear. But I am Danny’s godfather, so I’ve got a right to be concerned about his welfare. Besides, Rick asked me to take care of you.”
Which was true enough even if Rick had been three sheets to the wind at the time and he’d always been given to getting a little maudlin when he drank.
“Contrary to recent appearances, I’m not completely helpless.” Her tone was even, revealing nothing of what she was thinking.
Caution suggested that he let the topic drop. But concern for her welfare was too strong.
“I know you’re not helpless. I’m just trying to make sure you’re not broke,” he said bluntly.
Pride had stiffened her spine, but she couldn’t prevent a snort of laughter from escaping her. “Very tactfully put, Gage.”
His smile held a rueful twist. “Tact isn’t one of my strong suits.”
“No kidding.” Kelsey couldn’t hold on to her annoyance. How could she be angry with him for worrying about her? “I’m not going to let you give me money.”
“Why not? I’m not rich but I make a pretty good salary and I don’t have much to spend it on. I’ve got a little put away. You’re—” He broke off when Kelsey put her hand on his arm again.
“I’m not going to take your money.” She said it slowly and distinctly, leaving no room to doubt her sincerity.
“If you need it...”
Kelsey was already shaking her head. She thought briefly of the frighteningly small amount of money in her bank account, but there were some things that just couldn’t be compromised.
“I don’t,” she said firmly. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t need your money.”
“If you’re sure.” He didn’t look happy, but Kelsey wouldn’t give in just to make him feel better.
“I’m sure,” she lied. “You’d better get out of here if you don’t want to miss your plane,” she continued briskly.
Gage glanced at the clock that hung over the doorway. “You’re right.” He downed the last of his coffee, grimacing at the lukewarm taste of it.
Kelsey followed him into the entryway, swallowing against the lump in her throat as she watched him pick up his duffel bag. He turned to look at her, his expression unreadable in the dim light.
“If you need anything...” he began.
“You’ll be the first to know,” she interrupted.
“Have I said that before?”
“Only about a thousand times.”
“You’re exaggerating. I bet it’s barely seven hundred and fifty.”
“Eight hundred, at the very least.” Kelsey’s smile shook around the edges.
“I’m about to make it eight hundred and one,” Gage said. “Call if you need me, and I’ll get here as soon as I can.”
“I will,” she promised.
They stood there, looking at each other, reluctant, now that the moment had arrived, to say goodbye. Kelsey moved first, stepping forward to slide her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek to his chest. Gage put his free arm around her and hugged her tight.
“You’re going to be all right,” he told her fiercely.
Kelsey couldn’t force her voice past the lump in her throat but she managed to nod. A part of her believed she was going to be all right. But there was another part of her—a small, frightened little girl—that was terrified by the thought of his leaving, terrified to be alone with her memories.
With an effort, she forced herself to step away from him. “Get out of here,” she said, pleased to hear that her voice was almost steady.
“Don’t forget—”
“I won’t!” Her laugh was a little damp around the edges. She waved her hands in shooing motions. “Go away before you drive me crazy!”
“You can always call Cole if you need anything,” he reminded her, mentioning his brother.
“I know, I know.” She went around him to open the front door. “Out!”
Gage grinned. “You have the number for the head office,” he said, taking a step toward the door.
“I have more numbers than the phone book!” Kelsey gave a choke of laughter. “I’m not going to need any of them.”
“Maybe I should give them to you again, just in case,” he began.
“Maybe you should go before I throttle you with my bare hands,” she threatened, laughing, just as he’d intended her to.
“If you’re going to get nasty about it,” he said, drawing his mouth down in a hurt expression. He was standing on the porch by now.
“I am,” she promised. “If you give me one more number or tell me one more time to call if I need you, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
“Then I guess I’d better go because I’m feeling an uncontrollable urge to give you the number for—”
“Goodbye, Gage!”
Laughing, Kelsey shut the door on his grinning face. But her laughter faded as soon as she heard his footsteps moving off the porch. With her eyes shut, she leaned back against the door and listened. She winced at the sound of his car door shutting and winced again when the engine started. A moment later, she heard the car pull away from the curb.
He was gone.
And she was alone again.
Chapter 3
Three Years Later
“Mama! Mama!”
Kelsey was crouched on her hands and knees next to a row of snap peas, carefully picking the ripe pods and dropping them in the shallow basket beside her. At the sound of Danny’s urgent cry, she stood and looked over the top of the trellised pea vines, shading her eyes against the sun so that she could see her son. He was running toward her across the garden, his short legs churning with the excitement.
“I’m over here, baby,” she called out,
waving her hand to help him find her.
He wasn’t really a baby anymore, she thought, watching him dart among the carefully laid out beds of vegetables. He’d be five in a few short weeks, ready to start school this next fall. He was growing so fast. She had the whimsical thought that if she could get him to hold still long enough, she could actually watch him grow. Not that she’d ever get the chance to try that particular experiment, she thought as he skidded to a halt in front of her, practically dancing with excitement. Still was not in Danny’s vocabulary.
“Uncle Gage,” he managed to say, too excited or too breathless to say more.
“Gage?” Kelsey glanced toward the house, half expecting to see Gage’s tall figure walking toward her. But there was nothing between her and the house except the beds of lush greenery she cultivated. “Did he call?”
“He’s coming!” Danny rocked back and forth, his red sneakers bouncing on the pathway.
“He missed Christmas,” she said, thinking it was a shame he hadn’t been able to get home for the holiday.
“We still got his peasant,” Danny reminded her.
“Present,” she corrected automatically.
“I bet he’ll have peasants for us, too,” he continued, oblivious to his mother’s vocabulary lesson. “We can have Christmas again!”
Kelsey smiled at his simple summation of life.
“I’m sure Uncle Gage would like that,” she said, reaching out to ruffle her fingers through his flaxen hair. “Did he say when he was going to be here?”
Danny’s small face wrinkled in thought, only to clear a moment later. He nodded. “Thursday.”
This was Monday. Three days. That gave her time to give his room a quick cleaning, put fresh sheets on the bed and some flowers on the bureau.
“Danny!” The call came from the direction of the house.
Kelsey waved to the teenager who stood on the porch. Susan McCallister was the daughter of one of Kelsey’s neighbors. She came over every day after school and kept an eye on Danny for a couple of hours. Kelsey had been relieved when Susan agreed to continue her baby-sitting chores during the Christmas vacation. Much as she loved her son, she was grateful for the chance to spend uninterrupted time working in the gardens that had supplied most of their income for the past year.
“I bet Susan has a snack ready for you,” she told Danny.
“Cookies!” The gleeful shout was tossed over his shoulder as he spun around and charged full tilt for the house.
Kelsey watched until she saw him reach the house, rushing up the steps and bursting through the door as if he feared the cookies might vanish if he didn’t get to them quickly. Awed as always by the amount of energy contained in her son’s small person, Kelsey knelt back down and continued with the task he’d interrupted.
She’d promised to deliver the sugar snaps to a restaurant in Santa Barbara before four so they could serve them for dinner that night. Her hands moving automatically, she worked her way down the row, letting her mind wander.
She’d worked hard these past two years, cultivating a market for her organically grown fresh produce as carefully as she cultivated the produce itself. There hadn’t been many options open to a single mother who wanted to stay home with her son. After giving it some thought, she’d come up with the idea of putting her love of gardening to work. It had turned out better than she’d ever dared to hope. Now she could sell as much as she could grow, and the income was enough, with a little care, for her and Danny to live on. And the money Gage gave her for his room nicely closed any gaps in her income.
Kelsey frowned, thinking about her arrangement with Gage. Even after more than two years, she still wasn’t comfortable with it. She didn’t like taking charity, and though Gage would argue until he turned blue in the face, that was exactly what it was. Rent! As if Gage would ever have to pay rent to stay in her home!
She pulled a snap pea loose with a yank that made the vine rustle in protest. Offering a mental apology to the plant, she tugged another pod loose in a more decorous fashion. Her jaw tightened with remembered annoyance.
Gage had come home again about six months after Rick’s accident. Though Kelsey hadn’t said anything to him, he must have guessed that money was tight. She’d sold her relatively new car and bought a much older model, and she’d seen the skepticism in his eyes when she mumbled some excuse about an older car being less vulnerable to theft. Even without her selling the car, he’d probably been able to guess that Rick hadn’t left much by way of insurance. Rick hadn’t been one to plan too far ahead. Besides, at their age, who thought about dying?
With a sigh, Kelsey sat back on her heels and stared at the wall of vines in front of her. She felt a hundred years older than she had three years ago. There was nothing like being left a widow and broke to make you grow up fast. She’d seen firsthand just how quickly a life could be snuffed out. She’d never again take the future for granted.
Gage had known Rick well enough to guess something of the situation she was in and he’d come up with the idea that he could rent a room from her.
“It’d be nice to have a place to come home to, but I’m not around enough to keep an apartment going. It wouldn’t make sense. If you’d rent me a room, though, that would be perfect.” He gave her look that could only be called wistful.
“You don’t have to rent a room from me,” she protested, confused by his suggestion. “You’re always welcome here. You know that.”
“I appreciate that but I’d be more comfortable if we made it official. Otherwise, I’d feel like I was taking advantage of you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She set down the pruning shears she’d been using to nip back an overly rambunctious bougainvillea and turned fully to face him. He was working on a loose board on the porch but he put down the hammer and tilted his head to look up at her.
“You’re family, Gage. Danny and I both love having you here.” She gestured to where her son was diligently—and vigorously—pounding on the porch step with a plastic hammer, in obvious imitation of Gage’s activity.
“I appreciate that, Kelsey, but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable staying here when I’m home unless you’ll let me pay rent. I’ve checked around and I think I’ve come up with a fair rent.” He named a sum that made Kelsey’s eyes widen.
“Are you kidding? You don’t really think I’m going to take that kind of money from you, do you?”
“It’s a fair rent,” he insisted.
“For where? Beverly Hills? Not that it matters,” she added quickly, “because I’m not going to take money from you anyway.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, and she thought she’d succeeded in ending the discussion. But she’d underestimated him.
“It’s too bad,” he said slowly. “I was hoping we could work something out. I’ll give Mom a call a little later. I know I can stay with her.”
“You mean you won’t stay here if I won’t agree to charge you rent?” she demanded incredulously.
“I wouldn’t be comfortable otherwise,” he said with a bland regret that made her want to hit him, preferably with something large and very hard.
“I know what this is about,” she informed him, resentment simmering in her voice. “You think I need money so you’ve come up with this ridiculous scheme to give me some.”
Gage raised his brows, his blue eyes widening with surprise. “You told me you didn’t need money. Why wouldn’t I believe you?”
Because I was lying and you know it. But of course she couldn’t say that.
“Besides,” he continued coolly, “you said you’d let me know if you needed anything, including money.”
Kelsey was torn between the urge to scream and the need to cry, a feeling that had become all too familiar these past few months. Just when she thought she’d regained her emotional balance, something happened to show her just how fragile that balance was.
“I don’t want you paying me rent,” she said, aware that she sounded more sulky th
an firm.
“And I couldn’t be comfortable otherwise,” he replied just as firmly.
Neither of them spoke for a space of time. Danny filled the silence with the ragged thunk of his hammer as he tried to pound a purple plastic screw into the porch floor.
Kelsey was trapped and she knew it. She knew Gage well enough to know he wasn’t going to back away from this. Which left her two choices: she could give in graciously and allow him to help her or she could stand by her pride and he’d spend the remainder of his time off at his mother’s house.
She didn’t want him to go. Having him here made the house seem a little less empty, made her life seem a little less empty. And Danny adored him.
“I can’t take that much,” she muttered. It was not exactly a gracious acceptance but it was the best she could manage.
Kelsey shook her head, remembering the conversation. At least Gage had had the good sense not to look smug. She’d been so annoyed, she just might have hauled off and belted him one. And the money had been a godsend, she had to admit. It had meant the difference between her and Danny’s being able to live in reasonable comfort and barely scraping by.
But things had changed in the past two years. Her business was solid, as reliable as anything that depended on the whims of Mother Nature could possibly be, and she had a few thousand dollars tucked away as insurance against a rainy day. Or, in her case, an unexpected frost or freak hailstorm—neither likely possibilities in an area that went years without seeing temperatures much below thirty degrees.
Kelsey stood, dusting off the knees of her jeans before she bent to pick up the basket of snap peas. She was going to have to talk to Gage when he came home this time, explain to him that it was no longer necessary to keep up this pretense of his paying her rent.
Thursday. She felt a glow of pleasure at the thought of seeing him again. Life always seemed just a little more interesting when Gage was around. She brushed her hair back from her face. Maybe she’d see about getting her hair cut between now and Thursday. It was getting a little shaggy.
Humming under her breath, she headed for the house.
Another Man's Wife Page 4