He had no idea what he was going to say to Kelsey. He could hardly walk up to her and tell her he’d finally figured out that he’d been in love with her for years. Just because he’d been struck by this flash of self-knowledge didn’t mean the same thing had happened to Kelsey. Hell, for all he knew, she really didn’t love him, had never loved him and would never love him.
Unlocking the front door, he pushed it open and stepped into the entryway. He was as nervous as a kid on his first date, he realized as he shut the door. Ridiculous. Unless you counted the fact that he felt as if he’d been turned upside down and inside out, nothing had really changed. He had to act naturally with Kelsey.
Unfortunately Kelsey didn’t seem to be around. Gage checked the living room, then the kitchen. When she wasn’t in either of those places, he wandered out to the gardens. He didn’t find Kelsey but, since it was nearly twilight, he really hadn’t expected to. He came back to the house and glanced out the front window to confirm what he thought he’d remembered. Her car was in the driveway, but there was no sign of either her or Danny. Danny was probably with Rick’s parents. Every few weeks, he spent the weekend with them. This must be one of those weekends.
But that didn’t explain Kelsey’s absence. Unless she was lying down? Or maybe she’d been taking a shower and slipped in the bathtub. Didn’t pregnant women faint sometimes?
Even as he was telling himself that he was behaving like an idiot, Gage was striding toward Kelsey’s bedroom. He’d just check to make sure she wasn’t lying in a heap on the floor or in the bathroom. She’d probably just gone for a walk. He’d give it at least another fifteen minutes before he began combing the roads for unconscious pregnant women.
But that turned out to be unnecessary. He’d just lifted his hand to knock on Kelsey’s bedroom door when he heard a sound from behind it. Obviously she was in there. Equally obvious was the fact that she was crying as if her heart were broken.
* * *
Kelsey didn’t realize that she was no longer alone until she felt Gage’s hands close around her upper arms.
“Go away,” she told him, burying her face deeper in the pillow.
“Come here.” He ignored her halfhearted protests and lifted her, turning her into his arms as easily as if she were a child.
“Go away,” she muttered again, but since her fingers were wound into his shirtfront, Gage quite sensibly ignored her.
“What happened?” He brushed her hair back from her forehead with exquisitely gentle fingers.
Kelsey was beyond answering. All she could do was curl into his strength and sob. She’d thought she needed to be alone to cry out her confusion and her hurt, but now that Gage was holding her, she realized that this was what she needed. He was always there for her. Always.
He let her cry for a little while and then drew back a bit. “You’re going to make yourself sick,” he told her. “Stop crying and tell me what’s wrong? Is Danny all right?”
“Y-yes. Your...mother called,” she got out between sobs.
“I just left her. Has something happened? Is she all right?”
“She’s fine.” Kelsey struggled to get control of herself, gulping back her tears. “She wanted to invite me to a birthday party this next weekend.”
“Sam’s birthday party?” Gage drew back far enough to look at her. “You’re crying because she invited you to Sam’s birthday party? You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
She gave a short, choked laugh. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it? You like Sam, don’t you?”
“Of course I do!”
“Mom bakes a mean birthday cake. And she’s never had anyone die of ptomaine poisoning. Yet.”
“Stop it!” she ordered, torn between laughter and tears. “I’m not worried about the stupid cake.”
“Then I don’t see what the problem is.”
He stretched out one arm and snagged a box of tissues from her dresser. Grateful, Kelsey plucked a handful from the box and blew her nose.
How could she possibly expect him to understand how she felt when she didn’t understand it herself. There’d been something in Rachel’s voice, a warmth, a sense of understanding. Kelsey couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was, but it had made her feel...loved, as if she’d just been made a part of that big, loving family she’d always wanted when she was little.
“What did Mom say that made you cry?” Gage asked. He reached up to brush a lock of hair back from her forehead, and the gentle touch of his fingers was enough to make Kelsey tear up again.
“She asked Danny and me to the party, and I said that I didn’t think we should because it was really for family. And she said...she said that we were family now.” Her voice rose to a squeak on the last word as she struggled to hold back another sob. “And I knew it was because you’d told her about the...baby, but for a minute I really felt like she meant it.” She buried her nose in the tissues, her shoulders heaving with tears.
Gage stared at her, at a loss as to the best way to deal with her. Obviously she was upset. What wasn’t so obvious was just what it was that had upset her. She didn’t seem to object to his mother’s knowing about the baby. In fact, she didn’t seem to object to anything Rachel had said. If he understood what was happening, she was actually crying because his mother had been nice to her.
“She did mean it,” he assured her. “Don’t forget this is her grandchild you’re carrying.” When that only made her cry harder, he decided to try a different tack.
“But don’t feel too flattered. Mom will invite almost anyone to join the family. She once brought home the busboy at a restaurant where she’d had dinner and announced that she was adopting him. It took us weeks to get the poor kid back to his family. And there was the old man she stole in the park. He didn’t speak any English, which made it really tough. We finally found out that he was visiting from Lithuania and had been trying to ask Mom what time it was when she hustled him into her car and drove off with him. It took ages to find someone who spoke Lithuanian. And all that time spent dealing with the embassy...” He shook his head.
Kelsey’s laughter was weak, but at least she’d stopped crying. Gage extended the box of tissues again, and she plucked another handful free. She blew her nose and leaned back against his arm, trusting him to support her. She stared at him through swollen eyelids.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Would I lie to you about my mother’s eccentricities?” He put his hand over his heart and tried to look solemn.
“Oh, I believe she kidnapped the busboy and that old man but I don’t believe there is a Lithuanian embassy.” She gave him a grin that shook a little around the edges, but at least it was a grin.
Gage gave her a crooked smile as he pulled a tissue from the box and began drying her cheeks. “I’ll have to talk to Mom, make sure she never upsets you like this again. If it was the idea of seeing my brothers again, I can hardly blame you for crying. I’ve been known to shed bitter tears at the thought of them.”
Kelsey closed her eyes, letting his words roll over her, savoring the feeling of being cared for, of being protected. It wasn’t that she couldn’t take care of herself. She thought she’d proved that these past few years. But when Gage was around, she knew she didn’t have to do it alone.
She felt tears start to her eyes again and forced them back with sheer willpower. There was no way for her to explain why his mother’s call had upset her so. How could she tell him that hearing his mother say that she was a part of the family had made her realize how desperately she wanted it to be true. Not just because she was carrying Rachel’s grandchild, not just because the Walkers seemed to have endlessly open hearts. She wanted to be part of the family the way Sam’s wife, Nikki, was—because she was loved.
She wanted Gage to look at her the way his brother looked at his wife—as if his whole world was in her hands.
She wanted him to love her.
Kelsey kept her eyes closed a
s Gage shifted, settling her more solidly into his arms. Why had it taken her so long to realize that this was where she was meant to be? How could she have been so blind? Why else would she have slept with him? And when she’d found out she was carrying Gage’s child, her first reaction had been elation. It was only later that she’d started to think about Rick, to wonder if her excitement over this baby wasn’t somehow a betrayal of him.
“Has the baby moved yet?”
At Gage’s soft question, Kelsey opened her eyes. He was staring at her stomach as if looking for some evidence that his son or daughter was nestled inside her.
“Not yet. It will be a few weeks before she’ll move.”
“She?” His eyes shot to hers, brilliant blue and questioning. “Do you know it’s a girl?”
“No.” Kelsey shrugged self-consciously. “It’s just a feeling I have. I always wanted a daughter.”
“A little girl,” he said quietly. “Yeah, that would be nice.”
He touched his fingertips to her stomach, and Kelsey felt the feather-light touch move through her body. She wrapped her fingers around his and pressed his palm to her.
“If it’s a girl, we could name her Shannon if you’d like. After your sister.”
Gage’s head jerked up and he looked at her, his eyes shocked. “How do you know about Shannon?”
“Rick told me,” Kelsey said, surprised by his hard tone. “He told me not long after we were married.”
“What did he tell you?” he demanded fiercely.
“That Shannon was your half sister, and that you’d been looking after her when her father kidnapped her,” she said slowly.
“You knew what happened and you still wanted me to be Danny’s godfather?”
“Of course.” She gave him a bewildered look. “Rick and I talked about it and we agreed that there was no one else we’d trust.”
Gage gave a choked laugh and shook his head. “I don’t believe it,” he said, seemingly to himself.
“Why not? Obviously we made a good choice. You’ve always been there for Danny. And for me.”
Gage just shook his head and laughed again. They sat without speaking for a little while, Kelsey cradled close in his arms, Gage’s hand splayed across her abdomen.
“Marry me.”
The words were so quietly spoken that it took Kelsey a moment to grasp what he’d said.
“What?” Her voice rose on a squeak.
“Marry me,” he said again.
“I...you...why?” As soon as the word was out, Kelsey longed to call it back. She was afraid of the answer, afraid he was going to tell her he wanted to marry her because it was practical, because it was the right thing to do.
“I was going to give you a whole list of reasons,” Gage said, his eyes still on her stomach. “I was going to tell you it was the sensible thing to do, that it would make things easier. I was even going to drag Danny into it and tell you it would make things simpler for him to understand.” He lifted his gaze to her face and Kelsey felt her heart stop. There was no mistaking what was in his eyes.
“But you’re not going to tell me that now?” she whispered, feeling her pulse start to pound. Please, please, don’t let me be imagining it. Let that look mean what I think it means. Please.
He brought his hand up to touch her face, and Kelsey felt her heart turn over when she felt his fingers tremble.
“I love you,” he said softly. “I’ve loved you for a long time but I was too stupid to realize it.” He gave a short, choked laugh. “My mother had to point it out to me. I know there’s a lot of things to work out.”
“There are?” Kelsey wondered if it was possible to faint from sheer happiness.
“I know you loved Rick,” he said, the words difficult to get out. “But I know he wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life mourning him.”
“My mother said the same thing.”
“She did?” He blinked at her, thrown off-balance by her comment. He drew a deep breath and continued. “Well, she’s right. Rick was never one to hold on to the past.”
“No, he wasn’t.” Kelsey brought her fingers up and brushed a heavy lock of dark hair back from his forehead. “Rick thought the past was a waste of time.”
“And he’d be the first to urge you to get on with your life,” Gage continued.
“The very first.” She traced the thick arcs of his eyebrows with one fingertip.
“I want you to understand that if you don’t want to get married, I’ll still be here for you and Danny and the baby.”
“I’ve always been able to depend on you,” she murmured.
“You don’t have to give me an answer now,” he replied.
“Yes.”
“You can take all the time you want, but I think we could—”
Kelsey pressed her fingers to his mouth, stopping him. “I said yes, Gage.”
He caught her hand, dragging it away from his mouth, his grip painfully tight. “Yes?” he asked hoarsely.
“Do you want to know why?” She blinked back tears, focusing on his face.
“Why?”
“Because I love you. When I was talking to your mother, I realized that I’ve been clinging to the past, holding Rick’s ghost up like a shield between me and life, afraid of being hurt again. I’m still afraid of losing you but I’m more afraid of being without you now.”
The last word was muffled as his mouth came down on hers. It was a kiss that held passion and promise, tenderness and hope. When it ended, Gage leaned his forehead against Kelsey’s and put his hand over her stomach.
“If it’s a girl, I don’t want to name her Shannon because there’s already a Shannon in the family, even if we don’t know where she is. How would you feel about naming her Rachel? Because, if it hadn’t been for Mom, it might have taken us weeks to get to this point.”
Kelsey laughed and put her hand over his. “Let’s hear it for interfering mothers-in-law-to-be.”
* * * * *
ISBN: 978-1-4592-8724-2
Another Man’s Wife
Copyright © 1995 by Dallas Schulze
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