'Thanks,' I replied smiling.
Just then Jade came walking in, her face sad yet angry. In the time I'd known Jade, I knew it took a lot to make her angry.
'You cut your hair,' Jade's eyes were wide.
Clearly my new look was shocking everyone.
'Yeah, I just fancied a change. What's up? I asked her concernedly.
'Izzy's being put to death,' she said angrily.
Jade sat down to tell us everything about her ordeal, it was shocking to hear Jade so shook up she was normally so calm.
'When she left, I honestly thought I was going to die. I felt the tide coming in, the water splashed against my face. I stood there thinking, this is it. That's when the cannibal's came,' she told us. 'I just can't believe she came back to us, did she really think we wouldn't find out?' Finn asked. 'She's obviously messed up, but there's nothing we can do now. It's out of our hands,' Jade replied sadly.
'When is it happening?' I asked.
'Tonight, in front of the whole community. Everyone has to attend,' Jade said.
'Is there nothing we can do?' Asked Maggie.
'No, Vera is being strict about this. She wants to set an example,' Jade replied sadly.
'Have you spoken to Vera about Nathaniel's group?' Maggie wondered.
'Yes, and she agrees that we all need to take action. They want us to go to the army base and gather the rest of the weapons, they already have a lot here but she says we'll need more,' Jade told us.
'Why don't I just go back, if he's doing all of this just to get me I should just go. It'll save so many lives,' Maggie said quietly.
Jensen immediately jumped up.
'Hell no, you're not going back. We didn't come all this way just to lose you again,' he shouted.
'Easy lad, of course we're not going to give you back,' Tamara piped up.
As we sat and talked Tessa came back in with my breakfast, my mouth watered when I saw the fresh fried eggs and potatoes on the plate.
'That's breakfast?' I said in shock.
'Yup, we've got plenty more food like this too,' Tessa replied smiling.
'Thanks, this is great.'
I gobbled up my food and within minutes I'd demolished it. I hadn't realised I was so hungry, if this was breakfast I couldn't wait to see what dinner was.
'How are you doing?' Tessa asked kindly.
'I'm alright, you get used to death in this world,' I replied quietly.
'Well if you ever want to lend a hand, we could always use you in the kitchen,' she smiled.
'I'm not much of a cook, but thanks.' Tessa sat with us for a little while, she wanted to make sure everyone was alright. She seemed like a kind woman, I liked her. I noticed that Maggie seemed really quiet, she just looked at the floor. I got up and gestured to Maggie to follow me to the kitchen.
'Are you alright, you're very quiet?' I asked her concernedly. 'I just don't want all these people to die because of me,' she replied sadly.
'I know, but we won't just give you back. You're one of us, and we protect our own,' I hugged her, seeing the tears welling in her eyes.
'Thank you,' she said.
'Don't worry about it, I'll die before I let them take you away again,' I replied.
'That's what I'm afraid of,' she mumbled sadly.
I sat back down with the others, I felt the need to do something normal whatever normal was.
'Can I ask what you guys have been up to while I've been away?' I asked trying to have some semblance of normal conversation.
'Jensen and I have become quite the shooters, Bridget has been teaching us,' Tamara said with a twinkle in her eye.
'Oh aye, you fancy her don't you,' I laughed teasing.
'She's got one fine arse I'll give her that,' she smiled.
'I'm sure you'd like to give her something else,' Finn joked.
We sat laughing, despite my grief I needed this. Being with them, laughing again it helped.
'I've been hanging out with the farmers, their helping me to learn how to grow and harvest crops,' Finn smiled.
'Somehow, I can picture you as a farmer,' I answered happily.
'Cheers, I really enjoy it though I do go down to the shooting ring often. I don't want to get lax with weapons.'
'What about you Jade?' I asked.
'You know me, I'm either playing nursemaid or in the kitchen,' she laughed.
'Didn't figure you for being a 1950's housewife,' I joked.
'Cheeky git,' she smiled.
It was some time later just as the sun was setting that Brooke knocked on the door, her face hard as cement.
'It's time,' was all she said. I hadn't seen any of Sanctuary since I'd arrived, so when I stepped outside I was pleasantly surprised. The grass was lush and green, the houses well kept and pretty looking. There was dozens of people here, I recognised a few of them from the wholesalers.
I tried not to give them dirty looks, so I just stared at the ground. Never in my dreams did I think this would be Sanctuary, it was so stunning. We had all longed to live somewhere like this, even before the others were taken and we'd planned to come here, we all thought it was a pipe dream. To find that it was not only real, but beyond our wildest dreams, was nothing short of a miracle.
The others took me the centre of the town, it was a small park with swings, slides and a few climbing frames for the kids to play on. Izzy was there, her hands were bound. Vera stood next to her, gripping her arm tightly so she couldn't escape. Everyone from the community was there, they stood with grim faces staring at Izzy.
'You all know why we're here, this girl can't be helped. She tried to kill one of our own, and now she will face punishment,' Vera shouted into the crowd.
'Is there truly no way to help her,' Jade interjected.
'If you don't kill me, I'll find away to get to you,' Izzy screamed manically.
'That answers your question,' Vera replied sternly. Another member of Sanctuary tied a rope round the top of the climbing frame, I could see that she took no pleasure in doing it. She made a noose for Izzy's neck, Vera was far stronger than she looked. She shoved Izzy on to a large box and tied the rope round her neck, we all stood, feeling sad. I knew that Jade was finding this hard to watch, I could see the tears in her eyes. Jade always wanted to see the good in everyone, but even I knew now that Izzy was a lost cause. Vera stood back, as she kicked the box out from underneath Izzy's feet. I watched in horror as Izzy struggled for breath, the drop wasn't big enough to snap her neck so she just hung there dying. It felt as though the seconds took hours to pass by, I watched every moment. Izzy's face grew red, then purple, she gurgled struggling for breath.
Despite what she'd done, I still cried when I saw her take her last breath. I hated being witness to this, in this world brutality was an everyday thing. Were we all going to end up the same way? Was there any hope for the rest of us?
As we walked back to our house in silence I saw Jensen walking alongside me with a worried expression on his face, it hurt knowing the pain I had caused him. I felt like he should have been angry at me, he ought to shouting, telling me that I was a horrible person but instead he wanted to help me.
There was something I hadn't told the others, during the battle they'd all been too preoccupied to really see. Even I didn't realise it until afterwards, Nikkita hadn't died she'd only been shot in the upper torso area. Every part of me wanted to run, to somehow rescue her but I couldn't. I knew what would happen to her, Nathaniel and his men would make her suffer. They'd use her to make us give Maggie back, and Nikkita would rather die than let a child be held prisoner by them.
We'd talked about it, that night we were stuck on the little island near the castle. She knew what Nathaniel wanted, we both did. She told me the same thing I'd told her. If they caught me and used me as bait, she and the others had to let me go. Neither of us liked it, both us wanted to do whatever possible to be together but we knew if we or anyone else gave into those monsters it wouldn't make a difference. They would still
kill the rest of us, for freeing their women and losing them their home.
I had to live with the knowledge of what was happening to her, it killed me, it broke me. I didn't know how I was going to move on from this, when the time came and Nathaniel attacked he was going to taunt me with Nikkita. I would have no choice, but to defend these women and Maggie, I had to make sure that all we'd been through, all added death and destruction wasn't for nothing. I'd have to kill the love of my life, to save the many I had to sacrifice the few.
'What's wrong?' Jensen asked gently.
'Nothing,' I replied quietly.
He stopped for a minute and pulled me to one side as the others walked silently by. He took my hands in his and looked at me with softness that made me want to weep.
'I'm sorry, about Nikkita. I didn't know her as well as you, but she was a good woman and I know she truly loved you,' he said sadly.
'T-thank you, that means a lot coming from you.'
'Just know, I'm always here for you. I'll do whatever you need, even if y-you need space.' My heart wept for him, of all the women he could have loved it had to be me. I didn't feel I was good enough to be loved by someone so pure, so honest. I couldn't think about what the future held, right now I needed to deal with what was to come.
'I know, and I don't need space. I just need my family.' He squeezed my hand for a moment before letting it go, we carried on walking and I stayed in my own little world. I could only hope, that when the time came I was brave enough to do what needed to be done.
Chapter 15
Delilah
We'd been at Sanctuary for about three weeks, it had been pretty hard to adjust. Zachary seemed to be struggling more than the rest of us, he couldn't get used to the rules and safety. He kept waking up in the night clutching his knife, Casey also found it hard. She was still dealing with the death of her sister, none of us could console her. All we could do was keep her away from Maggie, Nikkita's death only added to our grief. We all missed her, me more than anyone. I'd never told Nikkita, but I loved her. I kept it quiet, because I knew she hadn't felt the same.
I got out of the bed that I shared with Casey, nothing was going on but there wasn't enough room for all of us. Zachary and Anthony shared a bedroom, as did Yasmin and Brian. Xandra and her sister Wendy had room to themselves while I was stuck with Casey. We'd always got on, but it seemed that her grief was more important than mine. I hadn't seen Frankie since she'd gotten back, but I thought now that I should go and see her. I didn't know how much of the last five years Nikkita had shared with Frankie, but I wanted to tell her. If anyone could understand my grief it was Frankie.
'I'm going to see Frankie,' I told Casey.
'Okay,' she murmured sleepily. Everyone else was still asleep when I left, good, I thought. The last thing I needed was for them to give me stick over going to see Frankie, which I knew they would. Zachary especially, he'd been hard on me about Nikkita. I needed to get over it, we had more important things to deal with, he'd said. I walked over to where Frankie was living, one thing I loved about this place was the normalcy about it. People walked freely, they laughed and enjoyed life. Everyone had jobs, whether it was cooking for everyone, tending to the animals or training people to fight. I felt nervous knocking on Frankie's door, it was Jade who answered.
'Is Frankie in?' I asked nervously.
'Yeah, do you want to come in?' She asked.
'Sure, any chance I could have a few minutes alone with her,' I replied nervously.
'No problem,' she smiled, 'come on you lot, I need your help with something,' she called to her people.
Everyone came downstairs including Frankie, she smiled shyly when she saw me.
'Not you Frankie, you've got a visitor.'
I sat down on the sofa as the others said goodbye, I could tell Frankie was just as nervous as I was.
'So what's up?' She asked quietly. 'I wanted to talk to you about Nikkita,' I said taking a deep breath. I knew that talking about her would be hard on Frankie, but I felt that it would be good for both of us. I for one needed to talk to someone who understood what I was going through, my friends hadn't been helpful or understanding, I guess they all had their own shit to deal with. I sat next to her on the sofa, not knowing what to say.
'I know you loved her too,' she told me gently.
'Am I that transparent?' I asked laughing.
'No, I'm just good at reading people. I knew it when you first arrived, but neither you or Nikkita said anything.' 'She wasn't one for airing her private life, in the years I'd known her she wouldn't even tell us much about you. We just knew your name and the fact that she was still madly in love with you. Not only that, I never told her how I felt because I knew she didn't feel the same.'
'That sounds like her, you know she never did tell me what happened to her in the years since the outbreak. I mean, I know about her dad and how she met all of you, but I sensed there were things she wasn't ready to talk about,' Frankie replied.
'She was messed up when I first met her, Nikkita had already been through hell. She told me that she'd tried to get back to you, but she was cut off by a group of slavers, no doubt you've met them.'
'Dave's group no doubt, unless there's another lot we don't know about. Was she, captured by them?' She asked worryingly. 'No, it was nothing like that. She'd met two twins, Kayla and Louise I think their names were. There were only twelve, she was with them for a while. They died in the winter, they were all living in the woods and Louise got sick. Nikkita told them to stay put, she was going into the city to get some medicine for her. She couldn't have been gone more than a couple of hours, but when she got back,-' I stopped, feeling the tears behind my eyes.
In all the years I'd known Nikkita, I was the only one she'd ever told that story to. Even though it wasn't my story, it still hurt to know what happened to those poor little girls. Frankie looked at me, there was a softness in her eyes. She took my hand and told me it was okay.
'I'm sorry, it's just I've seen and heard of some pretty brutal stuff, but this is heartbreaking,' I took a deep breath, trying to quell the tears. 'When Nikkita got back, she found the camp on fire, she heard laughing but it wasn't the girls laughing. There was a group of people, six or seven of them. They tied the girls up, raped them, tortured them, but that wasn't the worst of it,' I told her tearfully.
'How could it be any worse?' Frankie asked fearfully. 'When they were finishing raping them, they took their knives and peeled the girls skin off. While they were still alive, they sat and they ate them, as pieces of their flesh burned on the fire. Nikkita was powerless, there were too many to take on herself, but she found a way to deal with them. She found a small herd of walkers, lead them to the camp, but they wouldn't attack her because she'd covered herself in their blood. She shot the poor girls in the head with her crossbow, while the dead ate the cannibal's,' I couldn't help but cry, just the image of those poor girls was too much. 'Oh god, that's j-just beyond horrible. It's no wonder my girl was so messed up,' Frankie said sadly.
'She never told anyone but me, Nikkita was still so traumatised by it. She felt so guilty for leaving them, she couldn't accept that it wasn't her fault,' I said wiping my eyes.
'I wish I'd known before, but thank you for telling me now,' she hugged me, I felt relieved to have someone who understood my loss.
'She really did love you, you know,' I said.
'I know and I'm glad she had someone like you to be there for her when I couldn't,' She told me smiling.
'Thank you, that means a lot.' We sat holding each other for the longest time, we both needed this, in order to move on. We needed someone who understood. The others came back in a short while later, they were surprised to find us laughing and joking.
'Yeah, she rolled right in the pig shit,' I laughed as I told her one of many funny stories about Nikkita.
'Jesus, she must have stank. How did you put up with the smell?' Frankie as asked howling with laughter.
'We found a lake and
just threw her in, you should've seen the look on her face when we tossed her in.'
'Hey you two alright?' Jensen asked smiling.
'Yeah, Delilah's just catching me up on some of her funny adventures.'
'I've got more when you want to hear them, but I think I've taken up enough of your time,' I smiled.
'I definitely want to hear them sometime.'
I hugged her and told the others goodbye, talking to Frankie had done more good than I had thought.
I left her house and walked back up to mine, but as I neared it I heard screams. Racing in, knife at the ready I flung open the door to find my friends crying.
'What's wrong?' I asked concernedly.
'It's Casey, s-she's dead,' wailed Xandra.
'What!? How?' I asked in disbelief.
'She killed herself, she hung herself from the railings on the stairs,' cried Wendy.
'Is she-,' before I could ask Zachary beat me to it. 'Yeah she came back already, but I took care of it,' he said not seeming to care.
'You pig, do you have to talk about her that way?' I shouted.
'Piss off, she's dead just like the slut you slept with, so get over it,' he spat.
'You fucking wanker!' I screamed at him.
That was it, I lost it. He had well and truly crossed the line, I threw myself on top of him, holding my knife to his throat and just let rip.
'How dare you, they were our friends,' I screamed as I beat him with my spare hand.
'Get this crazy bitch off me!' He screamed.
The door flew open but I didn't turn to see who it was, I just felt hands pulling me away.
'I'm going to kill that fucking prick!' I shouted.
'Whoa lassie, what's going on?' Asked the leader calmly.
'We found our friend dead, hanging from the railings and that he's being an insensitive little prick,' Xandra told her.
'Is this true young man?' She demanded.
'So what if it is,' he replied arrogantly.
'Tessa, Troy take him to the cells,' she commanded.
'What, no. Get your fucking hands off me,' he shouted.
I smiled, Troy didn't take shit from anyone. He punched Zachary in the face, knocking him clean out.
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